‘So what did you decide?’ Imogen asked.
‘That I wouldn’t be able to go back to London, never knowing. That I didn’t want to think on it too long, only to find I’d left it too late, like I did with your grandmother. So I went,’ Clarissa said. ‘I went there today. To the house.’
‘And?’ Imogen said, barely able to contain her curiosity.
‘They’re still alive, both of them,’ Clarissa said. ‘Vincent and Catherine.’
She paused, and when she started to talk again, her voice was unsteady. ‘And it seems they did want to see me. Very much so, in fact.’ Tears filled Clarissa’s eyes, balancing on the lower rims of her eyes.
Evie passed her a handkerchief, and she dabbed them away.
‘They were so vibrant,’ Clarissa laughed, her tears still falling. ‘That’s one plus of Mum having me so young, I suppose. I was expecting to see these elderly people, if indeed there was anyone still alive at all, and instead there’s Catherine, who volunteers in the library, and Vincent, who’s fit and healthy too. They’re both full of energy still. Not that it matters, but . . .’ She dabbed again at her eyes, taking a moment to compose herself.
‘You spoke to them?’ Imogen asked, reaching out a hand to touch Clarissa’s shoulder. ‘About the past?’
‘Oh, yes. There was no stopping us, really,’ Clarissa said.
‘Had they . . .?’ Imogen started.
‘Ever looked for me?’ Clarissa asked. She nodded. ‘Yes, they’d looked. They feel terrible about what happened, what they did. So much so that, when I first explained who I was, and they asked me in, we all just sat there in silence in their living room. Complete silence. I realised they were waiting for me to say something, to be angry. But when I saw their faces – they were about to cry, both of them – that wasn’t what I felt, not at all.
‘They told me they’d always assumed that Mum would come back, in time. They realised they were wrong almost as soon as she left – I think it had sunk in that whatever choice their daughter had made wasn’t worth losing her for. My father’s wife had found out and was distraught, calling Mum every name under the sun, and they had felt so shocked and humiliated that they acted before thinking, they said.’
‘Did you tell them, about the way things really happened? The fact your mum didn’t consent?’
Clarissa frowned, and there was pain in her eyes then. ‘No,’ she said. ‘No. I couldn’t face it. What an awful thing to know. I find it hard enough – but they’ve been living next door to that man all these years. But I will, in time. I think it’s important that they know the truth.’
Evie put an arm around her, instinctively, and she seemed to welcome it.
‘Of course. It’s a horrible situation. So they did search for you?’ Imogen asked.
‘They came to Elderberry Avenue, looking for Mum, but Vivien didn’t tell them anything about where we were – she’d sworn to Mum that she wouldn’t. The only thing she told them was that the baby – I – was a girl. She’d taken pity on them, by the sounds of things, and told them that.’
‘But they never tracked you down?’
‘Mum married again the next year, and I took my stepfather’s surname. I wonder now if she wasn’t glad to be rid of the name, anyway: it sounded from the diary as if her heart was broken by it all. Then she died. They knew about that, somehow. Perhaps they – my grandparents, although it seems so strange to say that – perhaps they could have looked harder, I don’t know. Maybe they respected that she’d not wanted to be found.’
‘And, now that you’ve found each other, do you think you’ll meet again?’ Imogen asked hopefully.
‘Oh, yes,’ Clarissa said, brightly. ‘It’s already in the diary. I’m meeting them for tea next week. Then they’re going to come and see me in London, at the start of September. I think it’s about time I went home, don’t you?’
Imogen smiled.
‘I can’t thank you enough, Imogen,’ Clarissa said. ‘You helped make this happen and I’m so very grateful.’
Chapter 40
‘Buongiorno,’ Maria said brightly, coming into the ice cream shop.
‘Buongiorno,’ Anna replied, comforted by seeing her Italian teacher’s face. ‘Can I get you a drink?’
‘I can’t stay long. I came in to see how Carolina is doing,’ Maria said. ‘Have you had any more updates?’
‘She’s much better, thank you,’ Anna said. ‘In fact yesterday we got some very good news. Carolina’s well enough to come home.’
‘I’m really happy to hear that,’ Maria said. She laid a box of chocolates on the counter. ‘These are for her. Not much, of course, but I find chocolate often helps.’
‘Thank you, that’s really kind,’ Anna said, taking them and putting them with the cards that regulars from the small town had presented her with.
That week, it felt as if things were slowly returning to normal at the ice-cream shop. Matteo, so pale and drawn over the preceding days, was even starting to look more like his old self. He’d spent lunch hours and evenings with his sister, taking her in fresh fruit and her favourite puzzle books. He said she was seeming better with each visit.
‘It must have been a very difficult time for you all,’ Maria said, gently.
‘It has been, yes, but they’re a strong family,’ Anna said.
‘No arguments, you’re staying with us,’ Matteo said, loading Carolina’s things into the back of the taxi. ‘Isn’t that right, Anna?’
‘Absolutely,’ Anna said. ‘We won’t take no for an answer. You need time to rest and recover. You’ll be back to the summer house soon – I know you’re eager to go there again, but for the next few days what you need is looking after, and that’s what your family are here for.’
‘You two go in the taxi,’ Elisa said. ‘I’d like to speak to Anna alone for a moment.’
Matteo looked over at Anna and their eyes met. ‘You go,’ Anna mouthed silently to him. Elisa led her away from the hospital building and into a park. They sat down together on a bench. Anna’s heart beat fast.
Elisa took her hand. ‘I’m sorry, Anna,’ she said, quietly.
Strain showed in the deep creases around Elisa’s eyes. Those brown eyes – so much like Matteo’s – seemed more open, trusting, than before.
‘For what?’ Anna asked.
‘You know what for,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘You don’t need to be polite. I haven’t made your life easy.’
‘I know you love Bella, and you’ve always shown that.’
‘I do – and I have. But what I haven’t shown enough, my dear, is that I also care about you.’
Anna felt emotion well up inside her. She’d become so used to her encounters with Elisa – fraught with unspoken resentments. This felt different.
‘We won’t ever agree on everything,’ Elisa said. ‘And I still can’t understand how you can put your wishes before—’ Anna’s mouth tightened, and Elisa reacted, putting a hand up. ‘Sorry, this is not what I mean. What I’m saying is, perhaps these things don’t matter quite as much as I thought. Because you have shown you are family, Anna.’
She looked Anna directly in the eye.
‘You were there for Carolina. You listened to her when she needed someone to talk to.’
‘I was honoured that she trusted me enough,’ Anna said, honestly.
‘Times have changed. And that is difficult for me sometimes. Carolina has chosen to leave her marriage, and Matteo tells me I need to accept that. I was wrong about Filippo. I can see that now. Yet still, if she’d come to me, told me she was pregnant, I would have insisted she went back to him.’
Anna nodded, listening.
‘That’s why she didn’t tell me,’ Elisa continued, glancing down, her pain evident. ‘I thought I knew my daughter. I thought I was close to her, but she kept this a secret. And, while that hurts, I am more grateful than you can imagine that she is still here. That she is OK. And that she had someone to talk to about this, someone who gave
her good advice. That someone was you.’
‘She loves you,’ Anna said. ‘She was just worried you would judge her.’
‘And she was right,’ Elisa said, frankly. ‘I wish it could be another way, but it’s not. And what I’ve seen is it’s not her who needs to change, it’s me.’
In the time since Carolina had been injured – the long, caffeine-fuelled hours of waiting at the hospital, united in their desperate need to hear positive news from the doctor about the person they all loved dearly – something had shifted inside Anna. Matteo’s family had gone from being Matteo’s family to being – truly – her family. And somehow, in that moment, the distance that she’d thought could break her and Matteo up seemed to disappear.
Back at the apartment, Anna set up the sofa bed in the living room for herself and Matteo.
‘Your mother apologised to me just now,’ she explained to him.
‘She did?’
‘Yes. She was very kind, actually,’ Anna said. Since talking to Elisa she felt that a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, that she had been accepted, that she could be part of the Bonomi family after all.
‘I’m glad,’ Matteo said, taking her hand. ‘I know you’ve had to be patient, Anna. And that part of that was my fault. You’ve been so good to us all.’
‘It’s because I love you, that’s why,’ Anna said, a smile coming to her lips. ‘And I’m annoyed with myself that I let anything get in the way of that.’
He squeezed her hand, and for a moment there were just the two of them, standing there.
‘I’d better get Carolina’s room ready,’ Anna said, reluctantly pulling away.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Thank you.’
She went through to put fresh sheets on the bed in the room where Carolina would be sleeping. She plumped up the pillows. Carolina sat in the chair by the window, a citron pressé freshly made by her brother in her hands.
‘Thank you for this, Anna,’ she said softly. Her bravado was gone now, and instead Anna saw a piercing vulnerability.
‘I spoke to him, you know,’ Carolina said. ‘Filippo called. While I was in the hospital. He didn’t manage to actually come and visit.’ She shook her head, a wry smile on her face. ‘Of course not. That would have been far too much for him . . . Don’t worry. I won’t go there,’ Carolina said. ‘If the last week has taught me anything, it is that I have to look forward, not back. I cannot be angry any more. He’s not worth the energy – and, God, I don’t even have the energy even if I wanted to spend it on him.’ She laughed in spite of her obvious distress.
‘I have got no time for bitterness,’ she continued. ‘I know now just how short life really is – I can feel it. I think I even saw the white light, back there, Anna. Can you believe that? It’s been the most insane thing. To know that I was so close to death. So close I could almost have chosen it. I could have reached out, and let go of being here on earth. And, believe me, there were times when I was with Filippo, dark times when I would have done that. Even before the accident I knew I had the power to choose life or to choose the opposite. Anyway, what I am saying – and I know it’s a long, rambling way in which I am saying it – is that I was that close to death, Anna. I should have felt alone. But I didn’t. Not for a moment.’ She put her hand on her abdomen and looked at Anna. ‘So I told him – Filippo – what was going on.’
‘You did? How did he react?’
‘I think he’s in shock. He says he needs time to think about it – but he’s never wanted children; he’s hardly going to change his mind about that now.’
‘And you’re all right with that?’ Anna said.
‘I think so, yes. It’s me and the baby now. And it may not be perfect, but that’s OK. Having him in my life wasn’t healthy, Anna. And I don’t think the baby would benefit from it, either.’
Anna sat down on the edge of the bed and looked her sister-in-law in the eye.
‘You’re not going to be on your own,’ she said. She’d felt compelled to say it, and knew as the words came out that it was the right thing. She felt torn – of course she did. But this wasn’t just about her. Matteo would want to be here for his sister, to give her whatever she needed. ‘I don’t know where we’ll be living in the long term, here or back in England – but, either way, we’ll be here for you.’
‘Thank you, Anna,’ Carolina said, laying her hand on top of Anna’s, her olive skin dark against Anna’s pale fingers, the turquoise stone in her chunky silver ring bold even in the dimmed light of the bedroom.
‘I appreciate that. And of course I’ll have my parents back in Siena. And while my mother might be many things’ – she gave Anna a knowing smile – ‘she is certainly a devoted grandmother. Yes, she would rather the circumstances were different, but I know she and Dad will be there for us.’
‘I’ll talk to Matteo. I know he’ll want . . .’ Anna started. She couldn’t make any promises. It was still too early for that.
‘You need to do what’s right for both of you, not base your future on me,’ Carolina said. Anna nodded. She could see that Carolina was getting tired.
‘Listen, I’ll leave you to sleep,’ Anna said gently. She reached over and stroked Caroline’s hair. ‘If you need anything just let me know.’
Anna and Matteo sat together on the terrace, the square bustling in the early evening, but their flat, finally, calm. Bella was asleep and Carolina was reading in her room.
‘It feels good to have her here,’ Matteo said. ‘To be able to watch over her and know that she’s safe.’
‘She’s very strong,’ Anna said. ‘The doctors said they were expecting her to recover quickly. Although, of course, with the baby she’ll have to take things slowly.’
‘The baby. I’m still getting used to that. Carolina, a mother. But I know she’s going to be a wonderful mum.’
‘The best,’ Anna agreed.
‘She’s always been so caring. She’ll manage fine – better, in fact, without Filippo around. I don’t know what his plans are but she’s told me to stay out of it, and she’s probably right. If it were down to me, well . . .’ His expression took on a harsher edge as he thought about the man who had broken his sister’s heart.
‘She’s perfectly capable of fixing her own life. You know that, don’t you?’ Anna asked.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘But I guess old habits are hard to break. She might be older than me, but it’s still my job to look after her.’
‘We’re all here to look after her. That baby is going to be very loved.’
Chapter 41
With her feet up on the sofa, Imogen typed out an email to her sister.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Don’t youuuu forget about me
Hey Anna,
SO happy to hear that Carolina is recovering OK, and that it’s all going well with her pregnancy. You must all have been very worried. I hope Bella is keeping you all smiling and dishing out her best cuddles. Oh, how I miss those.
I’ve sent B a little parcel – something for you to play with on the beach. Do you remember how we used to go down to the beach with Granny V and fly kites? Well, I thought she should have a go too – it’s a McAvoy tradition, after all.
You asked how things are going here. With a little nudge from me, Evie’s written to Luigi . . . and sent some photos I took of her looking HOT. So it’s now down to you to follow the progress at your end . . .
In other news, the guesthouse is still fully booked. Amazing, eh. Uncle Martin’s over the moon. And that’s even without Clarissa – she’s gone back to London now, but is still coming down at weekends to see her grandparents. They all came to the guesthouse last week – Clarissa wanted them to see it how it is now, and to meet me and Martin. It was all pretty emotional! I even saw Martin welling up. Vincent and Catherine are warm, lovely people, and Clarissa seems so much happier since she met them.
And me? Well, I’ve also moved out of the guest-house. Something came up. I’m getting back
on my feet.
Imo xx
‘We’re all out of tea,’ Lauren said to Imogen shaking the empty box of PG Tips.
‘Right, I’ll go out and get some,’ Imogen said, swinging her legs off the sofa and slipping her flip-flops on.
‘Like that?’
Lauren eyed her pyjama bottoms and hoody.
Imogen shrugged. ‘Why not? I’m only going across the road.’
The two of them were up in the flat above the photography studio that she shared with Lauren. Imogen was renting her box room, setting up the sofa bed at night, and it was working out – Lauren needed the extra cash, and Imogen needed somewhere to live that wasn’t her family’s guesthouse, with her parents coming round every few days to check up on her.
‘Could you grab a newspaper at the same time?’ Lauren asked. ‘There’s a bacon sandwich in it for you.’
‘Sure,’ Imogen said. They’d been out at a bar the night before and were both feeling worse for wear that morning.
Outside, the cobbled lanes were bright with sunshine. Imogen ducked through the early-morning shoppers and across to the newsagent, picking up a newspaper and a large box of PG Tips. She grabbed a packet of jammy dodgers for good measure.
As she left the shop, she saw Finn walking past outside. He glanced towards her and their eyes met. He came over to her. Imogen’s heart raced, and she desperately hoped he wouldn’t glance down at her pyjamas.
‘Jammy dodgers for breakfast?’ he said at last.
‘Lauren’s favourite,’ she said, pointing up at the flat. ‘We’ve got a lot of editing to do this afternoon. Figured we could use the fuel.’
‘Is that where you’re living now?’ Finn asked.
‘Yes. Lauren’s got a spare room. It’s working out OK.’ She shrugged.
Finn’s eyes seemed to glaze, and he looked down. ‘There are still a lot of your things at my place. Clothes. DVDs, kitchen stuff. Do you want me to drop them round – now that you’ve got somewhere more permanent?’
She wondered if it was sadness she’d detected in his voice, or just an air of finality. Without seeing the look in his eyes she couldn’t tell.
The Heavenly Italian Ice Cream Shop Page 21
