“No problemo. What about yours?”
“One reason I wear athletic shoes. Easy to remove. Let’s put both of ours in my car. I was so lucky to get a space on PCH near the coffee shop.”
They both reached for each other’s hands. After running barefoot a few blocks on PCH, they traipsed down Poppy to Little Corona Beach. The trail from the street to the small inlet beach was tricky, very steep and hard to navigate in bare feet. And there was that big crack in the sidewalk on Poppy that had been there for years. What had they been thinking?
The beach was environmentally protected so no one could, or should, pick up and take any shells or other sea things that had drifted in. Connie was tempted by a starfish, but she loved the ocean and all that God had designed, so she put the tiny invertebrate back on the sand. Then, she turned to Jaeda.
“What?” he asked.
She didn’t respond. What did he mean by ‘what?’ Was the man clueless, or was he bluffing? Maybe she should give up on him and her dreams of him.
Finally, he pulled her into his arms. She looked up at his adorable face and melted. Then, he spoke.
“This is not right, Connie. Not right. Difficult, challenging. Not right.”
She snuggled into his chest. What was not right? If they cared about each other, even hopefully loved each other, how could that be not right in God’s eyes?
“Jaeda, do you remember the story in Genesis?” He nodded.
“Do you remember God saying anything about the color of Adam and Eve’s skin?”
He shook his head.
“Do you think He divided us, separated us, by skin color?”
“No. But I do believe he made us different for a reason.”
~
Connie struggled with the sheets. Nothing had been solved or resolved during the beach walk with Jaeda. She flipped her pillow over twice and finally succumbed to sleep saying the Lord’s Prayer. When she awoke at five a.m. she felt much better. God was in control. He had to be, because she wasn’t.
~
Jaeda tossed and turned, mentally tapping a rhythm in his brain, what drummers did to relax. He adored Connie, but didn’t want to subject her to all the possibilities of hate and publicity of inter- racial relationships. Maybe marriages. That was too much to expect of her. He thought of his family.
He sat up in bed and dialed his little sister’s number. They hadn’t spoken, actually spoken, in a year. Must have been during Christmas when he flew back to New York. It didn’t compute. He hardly remembered, that’s how hazy it was. No one had connected, no one had laughed or hugged much, except obligatory. He had lost his family.
CHAPTER NINE
“I need family. Are you willing?”
Connie looked at the text from Jaeda again. She was puzzled, and concerned. What did he mean? Was he depressed? “You all right? What was the text about me being family?” She waited for his text to return. When it didn’t after fifteen minutes, she texted again. Where was he?
She decided to call him. Voice on voice can make a huge difference.
~
“Sorry,” she said in her most empathetic voice. “I couldn’t wait. What is wrong?”
She heard rhythmical tapping on the other end. Finally, after what seemed like a mini-eternity, he cleared his throat.
“First worried, now devastated.” She heard a long sigh, maybe a sob? Then the word, “E-Ma, Grandma.”
“What?”
“What, Jaeda, tell, share.” She sounded like a parrot.
“The question is ‘when’?” Now she heard the sob. She thought about all the reasons a grown man would sob, especially after referring to his grandma. Something must be wrong with her.
“Died.”
Oh, put a whole different spin on things. She remembered Jaeda was close to his grandmother, but she wasn’t sure how to react to this information. From what he had told her the woman was ancient. She hadn’t had much experience in the grandparent section of her life. Mom’s parents were a lot like her – judgmental, not forthcoming except for Bible verses. Yes, cold. Daddy’s lived so far away she hardly saw them, even when growing up. They were afraid to fly, and driving thousands of miles was out of the question. Yet, the little communication she’d had with them was kind and loving. She remembered Grandma Winfield always sent birthday cards to her with tender thoughts. “I love you, Connie. You are a part of my heart.”
She still had those in the box in her closet. Did Sandra have them, too?
She shook herself back to the moment and Jaeda. Trying to understand, she gripped her emotions and modulated her response. If she truly loved this man, she needed to understand his pain and live his life.
“Explain, please.” She didn’t want to sound unsympathetic or uncaring, but she needed to know.
“She died last night. In her sleep.” He paused again, and Connie waited. “A blessing, I guess.”
“So sorry, Jaeda. So sorry. I know you loved her very much, and she was a huge part of your life.” She waited for a response. What she got was a shock.
“Go with me, please,” he begged.
Connie almost put the phone down. What was he asking?
“What are you asking?”
“I want you to go with me, for support. To her funeral.”
“Oh, really?” She was reluctant to voice her next question, but she did anyway. “Do they know about us? As a couple?” She wondered if they were ‘a couple.’ But, at this time it was a moot point, especially in his grief.
“Sort of. I told E-ma, and I mentioned you to Mom. Will you go?”
“Aw, don’t know if I should, if it’s right.” This time she set the phone on the kitchen counter and pushed the speaker button. She needed coffee, lots of it.
~
Jaeda gently nudged her ahead in the long airport security line. She pulled out her driver license and her ticket. She couldn’t believe she was going to New York. For a funeral. Not the city, but in a small town with fields and pastures. At least that’s the way he had described it. Cows! Woods! Had she brought the right clothes?
“Did I bring the right clothes?” She turned to him just as the TSA security woman asked her to step forward. The question would have to wait. So would the answer.
They settled into their seats, cramped as expected, but near the front of the plane and next to each other; hers on the aisle so she could get up easily to use the bathroom. Connie shoved her large purse under the seat in front of her, crossed her legs and picked up the airline magazine. What was she expecting? A nirvana moment in an article to calm her and give her direction?
“You okay?”
She was startled by his question. “Of course. Fine.” But, she wasn’t. She was scared. What would all those people think of her, of Jaeda bringing her to a very special memorial and funeral for a beloved African-American woman? She was determined to be seen as a Christian woman who loved the Lord. Also, as a dear friend of Jaeda’s. Was that what she was? At least that was true. She would suck it up, as Candy used to remind her to do.
~
They were greeted at luggage claim by a tall, maybe taller than Jaeda, but blacker than Jaeda, man with a huge smile. Connie liked him immediately.
“Good to meet you, Sister,” he said grinning. “Jaeda shared.” He grinned again. Just as she wondered who the man was, and why hadn’t Jaeda introduced them, he explained.
“I’m Sean, brother-in-law. Sissy’s husband.” He extended his hand and whooped. “You’re okay, girl. Got a nice firm handshake.”
Connie was pleased to be so easily accepted. She was taken in by Sean, and his acceptance of her meant a lot. A lot more that she would come to know.
~
The house was old and framed in white over sea green blue overlapping panels. Coming from California, she loved it. Although the porch, called veranda here, was not wraparound, it was wide and welcoming. She had read about homes like this, but had never seen one in person. The flowers bordering the walk she couldn’t re
cognize, but were abundant. Obviously cared for.
She clung to Jaeda’s arm. For protection, or to let others know she was special to him? She clasped the brown fabric of his linen sport coat hard until it balled up in her hand. He looked at her funny. “Sorry. Guess I’m a little nervous.”
“I understand. If I were meeting your parents, I would be, too,” he said smiling down at her from his tallness. “Try to remember who else is with us.”
“What do you mean?” She felt dense not understanding his comment.
“God.”
“Oh.”
She relaxed her grip and stood tall, as tall as her short height allowed. Jaeda was right. God had directed her here, to be with him and support him, so she should buckle down.
The first person to approach her was a tall dark man, taller than Jaeda, or even Sean, if that were possible. He held out both hands to clasp hers and squeezed them affectionately.
“Dad!” Jaeda said and hugged the older man giving kisses on both sides of his face. Next was a diminutive woman in a swirling, colorful dress. One Connie would have loved to have designed. She found herself being hugged warmly.
After Jaeda’s mom excused herself, he turned to her. “You okay now?”
“Yes, fine. Very fine.”
~
The food was exceptional, and mostly Southern. She hadn’t expected that since they were in New York. But, she was hungry and loaded her plate.
“Good appetite!” Jaeda chided her with an earsplitting grin.
She nodded and grinned back with a mouthful of pork slathered in sauce. “E-ma’s favorite foods?” she asked.
“Some, but others from neighbors and church people. They are all delicious, right? But, you can tell the difference between Southern and local?”
She nodded, but she wasn’t sure.
She set her plate down when the music started. Jaeda whispered in her ear that the piano player was his sister, Valencia.
“Did you take lessons?” she whispered back.
“Tried, but percussion was my passion.” He looked at her in a funny way. “No one, not even my dad, understood how I longed to drum. I was the odd guy out. But, in the end, he supported me and paid for drum lessons, and bought me a set of drums for my twelfth birthday.” He squeezed her hand, and said, “Shh. Val is playing E-ma’s favorite song.”
Connie recognized the praise song from church. “I believe in God the Father …” It went on to claim belief in Jesus and the Holy Spirit and that the three were one. It was a favorite of hers, too. One she often found herself humming in the shower. The next song almost broke her heart, and Jaeda squeezed her hands so tight she thought he would crush her fingers. She listened to the almost haunting words and knew they were perfect for E-Ma. The words would ring in her ears and her heart for a long time. Tonight in the hotel she would repeat the words as she tried to fall asleep.
She believed E-Ma’s chains were gone and her debt paid, and that the sweet lady would be blessed to see Jesus.
When all the guests, close to a hundred, were crowded tightly into the living room clapped and some started dancing, she relaxed. Just like a church service at home in California. Praising the Lord released so much pent up energy and wonder and awe for Him. Now, if He would only release hers.
~
Connie snuggled under the down comforter in the hotel bed. So many questions invaded her mind. She knew in her heart she was on the brink of falling in love with Jaeda. She thought about several couples she knew, some in church, who were yoked and blessed with diverse racial marriages. One, the wife, was the sister of her pastor’s wife, a lily white blonde. The husband was blacker than black, but an adorable man who obviously loved the Lord. His mother was in Connie’s Bible study. So, what was her problem?
Finally, she succumbed to sleep humming the praise song. Her phone rang and the alarm chimed at the same time.
~
Today was the memorial service. It seemed bass-akwards as her Nana used to say. Connie laughed remembering Nana’s cussword quips turned into fun comments. Nana’s Bible was laid on her knees every morning, but she was so down to earth in her life.
Connie dressed for the service. She had worn all black the day before because she wasn’t sure what the attire should be. Today she would wear one of her more flamboyant designs. What the heck, E-Ma was being celebrated.
“You up and ready?” Jaeda sounded stressed.
“Almost. Down in five. You okay?” She worried about the tremor in his voice. This had to be huge for him. He had shared some about his love for his E-Ma, how he had spent many summers with her on Coney Island. “We would go to the pier, eat hotdogs, drink orange soda and talk about life.”
She would never admit it to him, but she was jealous.
~
She was one of about ten people, almost all women except for a short man, who was white. It felt as if her skin glowed and shined under the dim lights of the community center in the church. She kept rubbing her cheeks. Maybe she should have used one of those tanning products. At least her skin would have looked darker.
Several women reached for her hands and embraced her. They were warm and inviting and accepting. Finally, she felt comfortable, then Jaeda disappeared.
She settled into a seat near the door and plunked her purse on the one next to save for Jaeda. She scanned the printed program and noticed his name was listed after his dad’s. Was he up to this? She decided to get a cup of coffee from the side table where drinks were offered. Maybe that would calm her spirit. She was pouring the brew into her plastic cup when she heard two people talking.
“Who does she think she is? E-Ma would be turning over in her grave if she knew he was dating a whitey.”
“She is a big California fashion designer. Nothing wrong with that,” the other man said.
Connie had to laugh at the comment about her being a ‘big California fashion designer.’ She wished. But, it hurt her heart to hear the other comment. She carefully looked around hoping to see who had spoken, and so boldly. Everyone had moved away from the drink table. She was standing alone. She recalled a plaid tie she had noticed out of the corner of her eye. Maybe because she, Doreen and Jaeda had recently focused on plaid for the new designs. It had caught her attention in her peripheral vision.
Jaeda gripped her arm, lightly, to guide her toward the front of the seating. Somehow it seemed formal. She had expected this gathering to be more spontaneous. Now it seemed rehearsed. She never got to see what E-Ma looked like because the casket was closed. That was fine with her. From Jaeda’s description and the framed photos propped on the baby grand last night, E-Ma was a tiny spit of a thing with tightly braided hair wound around her head and secured with a large, glittering comb. She wasn’t sure how old that particular photo was, but guessing from Jaeda’s teary comments, the diminutive woman hadn’t changed much over the years, nor had the comb. She was seated in the second row next to Jaeda when he squeezed her hand and rose suddenly. He adjusted his jacket - typical Jaeda always wanting to look spiff and in control. Then, he did the most out of character thing. He took off the jacket and tossed it to Connie. Thankfully, in her surprise she caught it.
She heard muffled whispers behind her. His mother, father and Sissy? She hoped they didn’t think his gesture, nor hers, was rehearsed. Loosening his tie he stepped toward the microphone and gave a Jaeda grin. Almost as if he was going to share a secret.
“E-Ma was the most special person in my life.” He paused to look at his parents. “Even more special than my wonderful parents.” He put the tips of his fingers on his right hand to his lips, made a kissing gesture and flung it toward his parents. Wow, Mr. Dramatic! Connie had never seen this side of him, but she immediately started transferring the thought to Jaeda modeling on the runway in the future. Was that bad of her?
He told about how E-Ma had introduced him to public transportation to go to Coney Island when he was ten; how she insisted he eat a renowned Coney Island hot dog even though
he shied away from hot dogs; how it became his favorite food for lunch even as a grown up. Mostly, though, she had laid on a blanket for long hours with him on the beach watching the people and the waves, and talked. No, he corrected himself, she had listened. For years she had listened to his dreams and hopes and quoted Bible verses. Her love is what got him through high school as an average student. Her love in the monthly letters she wrote to him in a scrawling hand is what inspired him in college. E-Ma didn’t understand what an MBA was, but she knew it was important. She still sent letters of encouragement. Even to his California address when he was studying at the University of California at Irvine. How he had wished she could have been there to see him receive it, but she was afraid to travel in any way shape or form, except city bus. But, with his parents’ help she had sent flowers. A bit embarrassing for a guy, but special nevertheless.
He ended his soliloquy turning to the tiny coffin, leaning over it and kissing it. “I love you, E-Ma, always and forever. Thank you for being you.”
~
Connie was glad to be home. Hours and hours on an airplane were not her cup of tea. And, to boot, the free tea the airline served was awful. She even asked the surly flight attendant if she paid extra could she have a premium, special tea? “You must not fly often, dear,” the overly made up woman said. That put her in her place. How she would love to have the contract to redesign the airline’s uniforms. She tucked that thought into her already over-tucked brain. Maybe, someday.
She was glad she went with Jaeda, but still wasn’t sure how much it helped him cope. He seemed comfortable with his family, and he did a spectacular job honoring E-Ma at the celebration of her life. Maybe, she concluded, it was about her color. Her lily whiteness. Tomorrow at the fitting she would ask. But, she never had the chance.
CHAPTER TEN
“I feel stupid in plaid,” Jaeda tugged at his tie.
Alice was pinning the inseam of Jaeda’s trousers when he voiced his opinion loudly. “Ouch, woman, watch where your hands go.” Alice had a mouthful of straight pins she spit out at his feet. She turned her salt and pepper head toward Connie and shrugged her shoulders in question. Doreen noticed tears in her eyes.
Connie's Silver Shoes (The Candy Cane Girls Book 4) Page 5
