Licking her fingers, she walked over to me. I bounced back and forth on my feet. I had to be outside the door by ten!
“What will you give me to keep quiet?”
“Huh?”
“I could scream right now and every nun in the place would be down here. Or I could quietly go back to my room. It’s up to you.”
I sighed.
“What do you want?”
“Your crucifix.”
My hand fluttered up to my neck. The beautiful antique gold cross had been my mother’s.
Anything but that.
“It was my mother’s. Please, Serena, anything but that.”
“Okay, Veronica, have it your way.” Serena opened her fat mouth to scream.
I clamped my hand over her mouth.
“Okay, Serena.” Reluctantly, I unclasped the necklace and dropped it into her hand.
Forgive me, Mother, I thought, but I was prepared to do anything to escape this horrid place.
Serena smiled and tiptoed back down the hall. I reached the front door and slipped out.
I raced around the front of the building to hide behind a set of shrubs near the front gate. It had to be past ten. I wondered if I’d missed him.
Suddenly, a flashlight shone in my face. I started to scream.
“Veronica! It’s Graeme.” I sighed with relief as his handsome face became visible. The night air was cold, but I wore my uniform beneath my nightgown. Graeme gestured to my clothing.
“Hurry up, Veronica. It’s cold out here.”
“Hurry up with what?”
“Show me your tits again.”
“We can’t do this out here. Don’t you have a car?”
Graeme shook his head.
“No, I took the bus.”
“How about in the gardener’s shed?”
Graeme thought a moment and nodded his head.
He took my hand and we raced to the back of the building. I was so hoping he would’ve had a car.
Quickly, Graeme unlocked the gardener’s shed. It was damp and cold inside. The odor of petrol was strong.
“Come on, I have to catch the 11 PM bus back. Show me your tits again, baby.” I whipped off my nightgown to reveal my uniform.
“More clothes?” He groaned.
“Just a second.” I unbuttoned my blouse. I hadn’t worn the clunky, ill-fitting white bra they’d given me so I could easily access what he wanted.
As soon as I opened my blouse, he grabbed my breasts squeezing them and tugging on my nipples.
He groaned as he continued massaging them. I merely closed my eyes hoping he would be finished soon. I didn’t particularly trust Serena. Graeme’s hands released my breasts reaching beneath my skirt. His fingers found their way into my panties probing inside me. I squirmed slightly as he stood up.
“You promised you would suck it.” He reached into his pants pulling out his erect cock.
I swallowed hard. I really didn’t want to do this. He was handsome, but I just wanted to get out of here.
Graeme grabbed the back of my head pulling it toward his cock. As I parted my lips, the door to the shed swung open.
A collective sharp intake of breath could be heard in the silence of the night. We both spun around toward the door.
“You wicked, wicked girl!” It was the awful voice of Sister Bridget.
“See I told you!” Serena was standing there her arms folded beneath her swollen breasts.
“Young man, leave these premises immediately.”
Graeme quickly zipped up his pants and raced from the shed.
Sister Bridget nodded to the other nuns.
“Leave us.”
The other nuns began to walk back to the main building. Serena stood there a moment.
Before Sister Bridget could say another word, I walked over to Serena and slapped her hard across the face.
“You bitch.” I spat at her. Reaching up, I snatched my mother’s necklace from her stuffing it into my pocket.
“That will be enough, girl.” Sister Bridget nodded for Serena to leave. She glared at me as she rubbed her cheek.
Sister Bridget turned back to me.
“Dress yourself. Follow me.”
My eyes were filling with tears. I knew this was going to be bad. Following her back into the building, I thought about just making a run for it. But I was seven months pregnant and the school was surrounded by a tall iron fence.
“Inside my office. Now!” she ordered. Her face was bright red and a small vein in her temple bulged.
I huddled inside the office clutching my nightgown like a security blanket.
“Drop that gown. Pull up your skirt.” Slowly, I released the security of nightgown. I pulled my skirt up around my waist.
“Bend over and remove your underpants.”
Terrified and shaking, I did as she commanded. Tears coursed down my face.
“Please, Sister, I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Sorry? You’ve disgraced yourself and this institution! You’re nothing more than a common whore. You filthy, disgusting girl.” She spat her words at me so angrily she shook.
“Please, Sister, I just wanted to go home.”
“So you had to fornicate with a stranger? You sicken me! I suppose it will be up to me to act as God’s agent and serve you with the punishment you so richly deserve.”
With that, she removed a long willow switch from her behind her desk. It was long and thick.
I’d heard about the beatings with the switch from Hannah and the other girls. I’d seen Hannah’s bleeding, lacerated thighs.
“Please, Sister, I’ll do all my chores. I’ll do extra chores.” I began to plead. I don’t know if I could take a beating being so far along in my pregnancy.
“Shut up, girl,” she commanded, her lilting Irish voice echoing throughout the room.
I gripped the chair in front of me.
One…two…three…four…
She lashed the backs of my legs over and over. Sharp, stinging pain exploded throughout my body. I could feel liquid running down my legs. I didn’t know if it was blood or my water breaking. Sharp pains reverberated in my stomach. I let go of the chair and clutched my stomach.
“I can’t…I can’t take it. Please, Sister, think of the baby!”
“What? Don’t you dare use the excuse of being pregnant to avoid your punishment! Accusing me of trying to harm an innocent child. How dare you!”
After several more lashes, she relented with the switch. I collapsed to the floor in a pool of blood and fluid. There was fluid leaking from my vagina!
“Sister, please.” I held up my hand soaked in blood and fluid.
“You did this to yourself. Get up and clean up this mess!” Sweat was beaded on her brow dripping down to her neck.
Scrambling to my knees shaking with agonizing pain, I looked up at her. She stood over me with a long handled scrub brush in her hands.
The pain in my abdomen was so bad I knew that something was wrong with the baby. I placed my hand between my legs and it was covered in blood. I was now bleeding from my vagina as well.
“Sister, please, I think I’m miscarrying.” I reached my bloodied hand up to her.
She swatted my hand away.
“Get up now! Clean this mess up.”
I struggled to stand, but slipped in the blood and fell back to the floor. The pain in my abdomen was excruciating.
“I can’t, Sister.” I reached for her foot.
“Are you defying me, girl?”
“No, I need help. Please call the doctor,” I begged, clutching my stomach. I felt severely nauseated and about to pass out.
“One more time. Get up.”
“I can’t!” I screamed.
“What did you say, girl? How dare you speak to me that way!” She screamed wielding the brush over my head.
“Fuck you,” I mumbled. Still on the floor I rolled over on my side.
“What?” She peered down closer to me.
&n
bsp; “FUCK YOU!” I screamed with all my might.
My reward for that outburst was a belting whack against the side of my head with the brush. Everything went black.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“My God, Ronnie, I had no idea.” Ash shook his head his mouth agape. His eyes reflected love, compassion, and understanding.
I collapsed in his arms tears blurring my eyes.
“What happened to the baby?” He stroked my head sympathetically.
“Oh, God, Ash.” I covered my face with my hands. He pulled me tightly into his arms trying to still my shaking body.
“Where’s the baby, Ronnie?” He whispered.
I shuddered the bitter memory still so vivid.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
When I woke up I was alone back in that horrible, tiny room. My head ached terribly. I reached up to touch the top of my head and felt a huge lump. My right arm was bandaged and I pulled the bandage aside to look beneath. There was a bright red pin prick that resembled an injection mark.
My stomach still ached terribly. Something felt different though. I peered down beneath the covers and was horrified to see the blood soaked sheets.
What the hell had happened?
I felt my stomach which was diminished. Oh God, had I miscarried?
I tried to stand up and wobbled slightly. Suddenly, the door swung open. There stood Sister Hazel Marie.
“Child, what are you doing out of bed? You need to lie down.” Sister Hazel Marie rushed to help me back to bed. She was one of the kinder nuns.
“What happened, Sister Hazel Marie?”
She looked distressed. Her eyes looked at me so kindly with tears in them.
“The baby is gone, child.”
“Where, Sister? Did I give birth early and you sent her to her new family?”
She shook her head.
“No, child. You lost the baby. I’m so sorry.” She crossed herself.
“Lost the baby? How?” My voice began to rise.
“When you ran off with that gardening fellow, you must’ve fallen down in the shed. Sister Bridget said that you began bleeding and she called the doctor, but it was too late.” She crossed herself again as she tucked the covers around my body.
“My baby’s dead?” I screamed.
“Please, child, don’t upset yourself. You’ve been through so much.”
“I demand to see Sister Bridget! She killed my baby!”
“Hush, now, child. Don’t say such things. Sister Bridget would never---“
I screamed pulling my hair.
“She fucking killed my baby! That bitch! She beat me…look at my head!” I parted my hair showing her the huge lump.
Sister Hazel Marie backed away.
“That was from the fall, child. Please just calm down. I’ll send for the doctor.”
“NO! I want to see Sister Bridget!” I threw the glass of water next to my bed against the wall.
Her face went white as the glass shattered. She turned and ran from my room.
I was seething with rage. Fucking murderer! She’d killed my baby! I screamed as loudly as I could. A doctor in a white coat arrived in my room. Several nuns walked in with him.
“Veronica, you need to relax. Your baby was stillborn. The trauma of the fall caused you to go into early labor. Sister Bridget called me because you were bleeding. I had to take the baby early and I’m sorry to say that the baby wasn’t breathing.”
“How? How is that possible? My tests all showed a healthy baby!”
He shook his head sadly.
“I know what your tests showed, but apparently the trauma of the fall was only part of it. You have a genetic abnormality in your uterus as well. The baby’s oxygen was cut off.”
I felt faint. What the hell had that bitch done to me?
“It was Sister Bridget. She beat me with a switch and hit me on the head with a brush.”
The doctor shook his head.
“Veronica, you were fornicating with that boy. That’s what caused you to fall in the shed. Sister Bridget was alerted by Serena. They saved your life. Now I’m very sorry you’ve lost your baby, but accusing Sister Bridget won’t help you.”
My mind was reeling. I hadn’t wanted to keep the baby, but I wanted to give birth to a healthy child. To think that something was wrong with me all this time….it was too much.
“I…I want to go home,” I whispered.
The doctor nodded.
“Yes, your father has been sent for. He should be arriving in a few days.”
Oh, thank God, I thought.
“Sister Bridget, she’s a fucking murderer! Look at the way she beat me, the cuts on my thighs…”
“The cuts on your legs? That’s from where you fell in the shed.” The nuns stood around the doctor nodding.
“No, doctor, they didn’t. Sister Bridget hit me with a willow switch!”
“I’m sorry, Veronica. You need to rest.” The doctor stood by me with a syringe in his hand.
“She’s a killer, doctor! Believe me!” I flailed my arms about struggling to get up.
The doctor nodded at the nuns to restrain me.
“Now sleep, Veronica. Sleep until your father arrives.” He slipped the syringe into my arm. I felt my eyes growing heavy and the room became fuzzy. I lay there as if eviscerated, torn and bleeding. Slowly, the hideous nightmare in which I’d been living began to fade. Sister Bridget’s horrible face became a distant memory….
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“So you lost the baby?” Ash looked pale and shaken. He kept his arm around my shoulder as I continued to cry.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me years ago?”
“Because I thought you’d want to have children. I’ve been to a gynecologist since then and I have PCOS. That combined with the scar tissue from the injuries years ago has left me with a less than five percent chance I can ever have children.”
Ash turned to gaze out the window at the snow beginning to fall.
“Ronnie, I don’t know how I feel about children, but that would never stop me from being with you. What you went through is appalling to say the least. But what I’m concerned with is how your experiences mesh with our relationship.”
“What do you mean?”
“You submitted yourself to me and I am your dominant. But I’m worried that given your traumatic past, this type of relationship may be too much for you. Perhaps that’s why you didn’t tell me.”
I shook my head.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think less of me for getting pregnant so young. As far as our relationship goes, I love it. It’s exactly those types of desires my father repressed in me and the nuns tried to beat out of me.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. You getting pregnant doesn’t make me think less of you, but it does make me think less of your father. I’m sorry to say this seeing how he’s just passed, but I never cared for him. I like him even less now. Did you ever tell him what happened?”
“I tried, but he refused to hear it. He believed the sisters not me. That’s why I haven’t set foot in a Catholic church since then. I just can’t. I’ve woken up screaming many times in the night since then.”
“Ronnie, that’s terrible. But you have me now and that was so long ago. If you wake up screaming, I’ll be right here with you.”
I kissed him gently on the mouth. I snuggled down with him to watch the snow fall. The nuns led me to believe that I was branded a fallen woman and no good man would ever want me. I never thought I’d actually find my Prince Charming after that terrible time in my life.
Some dreams do come true.
Chapter Eight
The morning of my father’s funeral I stood hand in hand with Ash. I wore a black Chanel suit my Aunt Shannon had selected for me. I had wanted to keep the funeral a simple ceremony with only close friends and family, but my father had anticipated that, so his will provided for an elaborate service in St. Patrick’s C
athedral in Manhattan. All of my extended family from New York, Boston, and Ireland were present. Cousins my father and I hadn’t seen for years attended. All of my father’s business acquaintances came to pay their respects to a man they had barely tolerated in life now in death they revered him.
I stood with Ash allowing mourners to comfort me. I still couldn’t feel anything. This was the first time since I’d been tormented by the sisters in England that I had set foot inside a church. The beautiful Gothic architecture brought back too many painful memories. Ash held me close to him knowing how fearful I was of being inside the church. When several nuns came by to express their condolences, I recoiled in terror.
“It’s okay, Ronnie. I’m here,” he whispered, his hand against the small of my back.
Ash’s secretary, Amber came through the line to express her condolences. I always felt a twinge of jealousy around her as she worked closely with Ash every day. She was incredibly beautiful, but her hair color and her figure reminded me of my own. Perhaps that’s why Ash had hired her.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Veronica.” Amber extended her arms to me. Reluctantly, I accepted her embrace feeling her full tits pressed against my own. I thought I saw Ash’s eyes light up with interest as we embraced.
Even in a situation like this he was thinking of sex.
Somehow, I was able to get through his service. Seeing him lying in the coffin dressed in his fine suit, he looked years younger. I envisioned him dancing with my beautiful mother all those years ago on the night they first met at a charity ball in Manhattan.
As we departed from the church, Ash rode back with me to my father’s second home in the Hamptons where dozens of cousins, aunts, and uncles awaited us.
“Veronica! You have grown into such a beautiful young woman.” My aunt Shannon embraced me. She had the same bright green eyes as my father. Her beautiful hair which used to be red was now streaked with silver.
“Aunt Shannon, this is Ashton Blackthorne. Ash, this is my Aunt Shannon.”
Shannon extended her hand to Ash. He took and pressed it to his lips in an obscenely old-fashioned gesture.
“My, Veronica, what manners he has.” Shannon blushed unaccustomed to a young man using such a gesture.
Insatiable Series Box Set Page 23
