Kieran was on his feet in an instant, pacing as his hands fisted and opened. He looked at Maude thrice before he stopped in front of her. He wanted to reach for her, but he didn’t dare when she thought men only wanted her for coupling.
“Perhaps that’s the case with some men, but that’s not the case with me. I don’t need your dowry, and if I wanted a tavern wench, I would find one. Instead, I am with you. Driving myself crazy. It’s clear I’m a glutton for punishment. I desire you, Maude. I do want to couple with you. Badly. But that’s not the reason I want to court you. Passion fades over time and is replaced with familiarity and hopefully companionship. That’s not to say that I won’t continue to desire you, but I want more than that. I want someone whose company I enjoy. A woman who is intelligent, kind, selfless, funny, daring, stubborn, honest. I can keep going, and I’ve only known you a day. I want the chance to discover if we suit. If you find you don’t want my attention, then I will go my own way. But not without a fight.”
“I’m a wee overwhelmed, Kieran. I’m unsure what to say other than I’d like to get to know you better. But you don’t have to spin falsehoods, ever, to make me feel better.”
“What falsehoods have I told?” Kieran demanded. “I don’t lie to you.”
“Those men do want my dowry. They hear there are two Sutherland daughters here, and they seek us out. They stare at my bust, and they smile at my breasts rather than my face. Then they take in the rest of me, and it’s inevitable: their smiles drop until they spot Blair. They’re aware I’m the elder, so they pray someone else will marry me, so they can hope to wed Blair.” Maude looked away before Kieran glimpsed the pain in her eyes, but he didn’t have to try hard to imagine it. He’d seen it the previous night. “Besides, there are far more desirable women available for marriage. Arabella is the most beautiful of the ladies-in-waiting. Two men will approach us, and one will speak to me until the other leads Bella out to dance, then the one left behind walks away.”
Kieran put a damper on his lust and pulled Maude into her embrace. She needed respect and patience at that moment, not a sword searching for her sheath. He tucked her against his chest and stroked her hair.
“I learned of some of what happened when you were younger. Michael told me,” he murmured against her hair as he kissed her crown between words. “I wish I had the power to go back in time and keep that from happening to you. But alas, I can’t. All I can do is try to prove to you in the present that you’re so much more than you think. Lass, will you let me court you?”
Maude’s arms tightened a fraction around his waist, and she nodded her head against his chest.
“Do you not sense how perfectly we fit together?” Kieran whispered. They stood in silence for a long time, both comforted by holding one another. When the shadows shifted through the window, Kieran accepted they had to leave. They’d already been tucked away together far too long. More than one person noticed they had returned from the monastery, but if neither of them could be found, people would speculate that they were together. Kieran might want Maude, but he wouldn’t force her to marry him because he destroyed her reputation. “Buttercup, we need to go. It’s getting close to the evening meal. We’ll be late. I don’t want people to gossip aboot why we’re both missing.”
Maude tensed before nodding her head once. She pulled away but wouldn’t glance at him. He understood she interpreted his words to mean he didn’t want people linking them together. Kieran wrapped an arm around her again and tipped her chin up. He longed to lower his lips to hers and discover if they were as soft as they looked.
“I only meant that I don’t want people to speak ill of you. If you decide to marry me, it’ll be because you want to, not because I ruined your reputation, and they forced you to. It’s too soon to enter the Great Hall together, but I will ask you to dance tonight.”
Maude gave a noncommittal nod before moving toward the door. Kieran opened it and stepped outside, keeping Maude tucked behind him. He counted to fifty in his head, and when no one appeared, he led Maude out. They parted ways, entering the castle through separate entrances. Maude would have Arabella make her excuses if Kieran looked for her. She still intended to take that bath and tray in her chamber rather than go to the Great Hall. She’d had as much time with other people as she could manage that day.
Chapter Six
The servants hadn’t yet served the second course before Kieran realized Maude wasn’t coming to the hall for the evening meal. He worried that her absence was his fault and hoped she’d ordered a tray brought to her room rather than go hungry on his account. When the servants cleared and pushed aside the tables while the musicians warmed up, he wove his way through the crowded Great Hall until he found Arabella. To his misfortune, she was standing with his sister and her friends. He approached with care, but Madeline spotted him. She pushed Laurel toward him with all the subtlety of a fishwife. He looked past them and raised an eyebrow at Arabella, who shook her head. Madeline watched her brother, then looked over her shoulder at Arabella. Her eyes narrowed before glaring at her brother.
“You’re in time to claim the first dance,” Madeline said by way of greeting as she pushed Laurel a couple more steps forward.
“Thank you, but nay. I came to tell you I’ve received a missive from Adam, and I need to return home for a short time.” He glanced at Arabella and hoped she was listening and would relay the story to Maude. “There was a raid, and they razed a village. I need to return to see the damages and determine our next steps. I’ll be gone a few sennights, but I will return. There are matters I haven’t settled here.” He wasn’t about to admit that his matters with the king had concluded and his unfinished business was with Maude.
Madeline, for all her vanity and smarminess, was loyal to their clan and protective of their people. She stepped around Laurel until she linked her arm through Kieran’s. They stepped aside to speak in private. When he was ready to leave, he glanced again at Arabella. She nodded once, and it relieved him that she understood what he needed from her. However, Madeline was watching him again. Her eyes narrowed once more as she looked between Arabella and Kieran. He understood what she assumed, and he was not about to disabuse her if it meant it protected Maude from being locked in her sights. He would be away long enough for any suspicion that he was interested in Arabella to fizzle. He just hoped that Maude’s interest in him wouldn’t fizzle, too.
* * *
Kieran slogged through the rain and mud in the bailey the next morning, the extra material from his plaid pulled over his head. He entered the stable and pushed his wet hair from his face as he moved along the stalls until he came to Trioblaid’s. He offered the horse an apple.
“Take care of her, lad.” He moved down to his own horse’s stall, but feared he’d jump out of his skin when a soft voice reached him.
“You never told me his name.” Maude stepped out of the shadow and walked to the stall door. She raised her hand for his horse to sniff her before she attempted to stroke between his wide-set eyes. The horse nickered and swished his tail as he nudged her with his head.
“I believe Peat would like you to give him an apple.”
“Pete? As in Peter the apostle? You gave him a person’s name?”
“No, Peat as in mòine.”
“Ah. He is the same color as fresh peat, but I’m not sure he smells as good as a warm fire.”
“Wheest. You’ll hurt his feelings by calling him a smelly beast.” Kieran grinned, relieved to see Maude in good spirits. He’d worried that his behavior from the day before might have ended their courtship before it even started.
“I’m nae the one who called him names. There is only one wee beastie here, and it’s nae yer steed.” Maude allowed her brogue to flow as she returned Kieran’s teasing. She flashed one of her rare open-mouthed smiles, and Kieran didn’t stop himself from brushing his thumb over her plump lower lip.
“Why don’t you smile like this more?” He whispered, but wanted to kick himself when t
he smile dropped.
“I’d rather not make all my defects obvious,” she muttered.
“Defects?”
“My teeth.”
“Are you missing some?” Kieran pressed on her chin as though he might examine a horse’s gums. He was aware she wasn’t; he would have seen the gap by now if she was. She swatted at his hand.
“Nay. I don’t care for how they look.”
“How they look? I haven’t noticed aught aboot them.”
“That’s because I rarely smile with my mouth open.” Maude huffed as she recognized he wouldn’t let the matter rest until she explained. “I have a gap between my top two teeth and my bottom two are a little crooked and overlap at the top.”
“Let me see.” Kieran’s request was in earnest. Maude looked at him as though he sprouted a second head and shook hers. “Let me see, buttercup. I will eventually.”
Maude rolled her eyes but pulled her lips back in a parody of a smile. The imperfections were so slight, Kieran wouldn’t have noticed them if she hadn’t drawn his attention to them. It was his turn to shake his head. He stepped closer to Maude and twirled a few loose strands of her hair around his finger. His other arm snaked around her waist as he drew her against him. If he would be away for several weeks, possibly a moon or longer, he would be sure she remembered him.
“The only thing you succeeded in doing is making me want to taste your mouth.” He lowered his head toward Maude but paused before their lips met. “Has a mon ever kissed you?”
Maude shook her head. A voice in the back of her head wanted to snap “of course nae. What other mon has ever wanted to?” But the sight and smell of Kieran pressed against her filled her senses, and a moment later, she tasted him. His minty breath wafted to her as his lips pressed against hers. For several heartbeats, the kiss consisted of only their lips touching, but he swiped his tongue along the seam of her mouth and pushed it forward with a gentleness that made her give in.
His words about wanting to taste her floated back to her, and she was curious to discover how that would work. Maude already tasted the mint on his breath. She was certain it was from him, even though she had chewed on a sprig on her way to the stables. She opened her mouth, and his tongue dove into her mouth. The sensation was strange, but pleasurable. She moaned in surprise at how much she liked it. The sound encouraged Kieran to pull her fully against his body. The fingers that captured her hair released the strands to cup her jaw. The arm around her waist was like a steel band holding her against him, but he didn’t need to grip her. She had no intention of pulling away. Instead, her hands flattened against his chest but were soon roaming over the broad expanse as his muscles shifted and bunched under her touch.
Kieran pulled her onto her toes as the kiss continued. His hand slid from her jaw, along her neck and over her shoulder, grazing her breast before gliding down to her waist and eventually her backside. The sensation of kneading the ample flesh released the beast within. He backed her against the stable wall, pulling her hands free from his chest. He grasped her wrists in one of his much larger hands and trapped them against the wall over her head. His other hand went back to her bottom. He stretched his fingers wide and feared he would spill his seed as he squeezed. He pulled his mouth away long enough to murmur a confession.
“If you were my wife, I’d have my way with you, right here. Do you feel what you do to me?” He pressed his rod against her mons, and when she shifted with restlessness, he once again pulled her onto her toes, slipping his thigh between hers. Maude moaned once again, and Kieran’s conscience screamed to let her go before he tossed her skirts. But the small noises she made only chipped away at his control. She twisted her wrists, and he released them in favor of kneading her breast. He was certain he leaked as her breast and bottom spilled out of his hands. Her hands once again roamed over his chest before snaking around his neck.
“What are you doing to me?” She panted when she ripped her lips away, trying to catch her breath before diving back in for more. She was a quick study. Her tongue dueled with his, and even pressed into his mouth. He taught her how to stroke her tongue along his and to tangle them together, but when she tentatively sucked, he accepted he lacked the fortitude to hold back. His cock throbbed as his seed jetted within his breeks. He palmed her backside in both of his hands and rocked her against his thigh. He refused to take his pleasure without ensuring she found hers. She picked up the rhythm and altered it to meet her own body’s need. When her nails scored along his scalp and her other hand fisted his leine as her body tensed, he realized she was experiencing her release.
“I’m introducing you to passion, and helping you find your release.” Kieran answered her question at last.
“That was---that was---was---I don’t even know how to explain it other than I can see that it can be addictive.” Maude’s grin was back in place and Kieran’s heart skipped, knowing he was a rare recipient of her toothy smile.
“I’m happy to feed that addiction, buttercup.” He ran the back of his fingers over her cheek. “I hope you can wait until I return.”
Maude peered into the stormy gray eyes and saw doubt for the first time.
“Do you fear that now I know what passion feels like, I’ll seek someone else?”
“Yes.”
She tugged on his leine until he lowered his head enough for her to initiate their kiss. She was ravenous and aggressive. Kieran hardened again as he pressed her against the wall once more. She nipped at his lip and swept her tongue through his mouth, tilting her head to find a better angle to explore the depths of his satiny cavern. He pressed his thigh between her legs once more but gripped a thigh and lifted it to rest on his hip. He rocked against her. His groan vibrated through her chest. They pulled apart only when they both couldn’t last another moment. Maude wasn’t sure if the lightheaded sensation was from going too long without a deep breath or from the power of Kieran’s kisses. She suspected it was as much the latter as it was the former.
“I don’t want anyone else. You’re the only teacher I want.” She frowned as a concern registered. “What aboot you? You didn’t get your turn.”
Kieran chuckled before giving her a peck on her lips. He lowered her foot to the ground and stepped back. He used his hand to point to the front of his breeks. While his grin remained in place, his face heated. He hadn’t spilled his seed like that since he was an adolescent, but he hadn’t been that overcome with lust since he first began coupling.
“You needn’t worry aboot that, buttercup. I found mine before I even brought you to yours.”
Maude covered her nose and mouth with her hands, so all he saw were eyes wide as saucers. She dragged her hands over her mouth to her chin.
“Ye canna go aboot like that,” Maude didn’t realize she had slipped back into her burr. “It’ll leave a stain. Everyone will ken when ye get off Peat.”
Kieran grinned at how horrified Maude appeared. He stepped back but leaned forward to whisper in her ear. He dropped a kiss at the corner of her jaw as he had the night they met. “Dinna peek, lass. Ye dinna want to see more than ye can handle.”
He turned away and reached to unclasp his plaid from his shoulder but missed a step when a quick swat landed on his backside. He swung around, but Maude’s hands were tucked behind her back as she rocked on her toes, a questioning expression on her face that would have been convincing if she wasn’t trying to swallow her lips to keep from laughing.
“Do that again, and no one will see us til dawn, and I won’t be leaving until tomorrow.”
Maude’s laugh followed Kieran as he ducked into a nearby empty stall. He hated laying his plaid on the floor in the hay, but he had no choice. Maude was right that he couldn’t wear his breeks. He wasn’t sure which would be worse: people knowing he’d shot his seed in his clothes or people assuming he’d wet himself. Maude was still laughing when he stepped out of the stall, but it died on her lips as she took in the sight of Kieran as a true Highlander. He took her breath away. He
r gaze began at the tips of his boots and traveled up to his bare calves and knees to the tiny patch of visible thigh, lingering below his waist before skimming over his broad chest and thick arms before settling on his handsome face. Her body heated all over again. A niggling doubt about why such a braw and handsome man might want her tried to take root, but she pushed it aside as he once more wrapped her in his arms. Rather than kiss her again, Kieran searched for something in her eyes. She feared he wouldn’t find what he sought.
“Will you wait for me, Maude?”
“Where would I be going? I live here now.”
“That’s not what I meant, and I think you know that. Even if it takes me a moon or two, will you wait until I return for you? You won’t replace me?”
“Replace you? I don’t want anyone else. I’m not going to turn loose just because you taught me to kiss.”
“I’d never assume you’d be loose, but you might find someone else who’s here, who can be with you when I can’t.”
“I hadn’t met anyone before you. I doubt there will be anyone else. I don’t want anyone else, Kieran.”
“I need you to believe me when I say there won’t be anyone else for me. We might not have met under the most auspicious circumstances, but I won’t touch another woman. Maude, I know you’ll worry, and I know you’ll try to rationalize it. You’ll try to tell yourself men have needs, that I’m neither a virgin nor a monk, and you can’t expect me to act like one. You’ll wonder if I’ll forget aboot you or change my mind, if I’ll pass my time with someone from my past.” Maude’s expression, first startled, then guilty, told him his suspicions were correct. He’d considered her likely fears at length the night before, after palming himself twice as he envisioned her. “I swear to you, Maude. There won’t be anyone else because I don’t want anyone but you. You’re too special to settle for anyone else. There’s no substitute for you. I wish I were taking you home with me, and I hope to do just that one day.”
A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance Page 5
