As the night grew late, Maude’s fever spiked, and she moaned until Kieran spoke to her. He murmured reassurances of how much he loved her and that she would be well. He promised they would go for long rides alone once she was well. He promised to take her to the loch when the weather warmed and teased her about making love in the water, since she loved coupling in the bath. He teased that they would have an enormous tub all to themselves. He offered to take her back to Sutherland to visit her family as soon as she was well enough to travel. He swore to do a better job protecting her and their bairn. He asked whether she had any hint if the bairn was a lad or lass and whether she’d ever considered names. He shared ones he wondered if she might like. He whispered to her until his voice grew hoarse, but he was convinced she heard him even if she didn’t respond. He remembered being ill from more than one injury, and he’d heard voices through the fog of fever.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
By the third day of Maude’s fever, Kieran was beside himself with fear that she wouldn’t recover. He’d sent off a missive to Hamish and Amelia, asking that they come as soon as possible. He wasn’t sure if he believed their presence would improve Maude’s condition or if he wanted to offer them the chance to say their goodbyes. Eara warned him that if the fever continued much longer, even as the wounds healed, Maude might lose the bairn or it might be born with ailments that would never be set right. Kieran sobbed as he listened to Eara’s warning. Unabashed tears poured down his cheeks as he clung to Maude’s hand. His sobs became so wrenching that Agatha insisted he get off the bed because they were shaking Maude too much. Agatha barely came to his chest, but she held him as he wept. He hadn’t cried so hard and for so long since his father passed away. Dread and doubt niggled at him day and night, denying him sleep and an appetite.
Kieran turned away food and refused to close his eyes except for when his body overcame his will. He bathed and changed his clothes, but didn’t bother shaving. His beard grew in, and he wondered if Maude would recognize him if she awoke. He thought in “ifs” rather than “whens” as the hours turned into days. He slept alongside her, but he spent his days in a chair beside the bed. He turned away everyone but Agatha and Eara, allowing Kyle to visit once a day to report on the clan and their land. The Morrisons had taken responsibility for the raid, but it was a similar situation to what happened in Assynt. The laird hadn’t sanctioned the attack, and sent two calves and five lambs along with a purse of coins as restitution. It did little to ease the grief of losing an entire village, but it was a peace offering. The Morrisons were a strong clan but not as prosperous and powerful as the MacLeods. They offered what they had to spare, but Kieran recognized they hadn’t resolved the matter; however, it would wait until Maude recovered.
Kieran sat in the chair with his head bowed in prayer for the umpteenth time since he laid Maude on their bed. He clung to her hand and brushed his thumb over the back of hers and around to the underside of her wrist, calmed by the beat of her steady pulse. He heard the door creak open, but assumed it was Eara or Agatha who entered. As the vigil stretched out, the two women left Kieran in peace for hours, only returning when Maude needed medicinals, the sweat-drenched sheets needed changing, or the servants brought in a bath. He didn’t glance up until a hand squeezed his shoulder. He started when he saw his mother and sister standing beside him. He glared at them and curled his lip in disgust. He didn’t want either of them anywhere near his wife.
“Get out,” he growled.
“Kieran, you need to rest,” Concern filled Adeline’s voice as she gazed at her haggard son. She’d never seen him in such a state, and she feared he would fall ill. “You won’t be able to care for her if you succumb to exhaustion and hunger.”
“Get out,” he repeated.
“Kier, we may not have liked her,” Abigail interceded. “But we never wished her dead. We heard what she did. We heard how she argued with you to allow her to go. She did it to serve people she’d never met before because they’re part of our–her–clan. She risked her life for someone else’s children, and from what the men shared, she did it without hesitation. Kieran, Mother and I have been so incredibly wrong aboot Maude.”
“Now you see it? When she might die? How convenient. Get out before I have you thrown out. I don’t want you anywhere near my wife. You’ve both done more than enough.” Kieran’s temper rose, and he released Maude’s hand in favor of gripping the arms of the chair to keep from lashing out.
“You’re right,” Adeline agreed. “We’ve been horrid to her because I didn’t get what I wanted, which was to choose your bride. I wanted a woman like me, someone I’d have as company once Abigail left to marry. I wanted someone to be a companion to Abigail while she was still here. I refused to accept that Madeline brought aboot her own fate, and it was easier to blame Maude than Madeline, or you. She wasn’t the beauty I believed you deserved, and I detested her on sight. She never stood a chance of me liking her, through no fault of her own. Your sister and I have made her miserable and been happy for it, but Abigail speaks the truth. Neither of us want her to die. Whether we want to admit it or not, she makes you happy. She’s done wonders for the keep, and our clan is better for it. It’s been painful to accept, but her selflessness has forced your sister and me to examine our vanity and greed.”
“Mother is right that you need rest, Kieran,” Abigail added. “You don’t appear well. Let us help. We’ll keep watch while you sleep.”
Kieran stared at his mother and sister. He knew they were right about how he looked and how he felt, but he didn’t trust them. He shook his head and looked back at Maude, dismissing the women.
“Kieran,” Adeline adopted a tone he hadn’t heard since he was a child. “You may be laird, but I’m still your mother.” She turned around his words from months ago and used them against him. “I tended you, your sisters, and your father when you ailed. It wasn’t just Agatha and Eara. I may have failed in many ways as the lady of the keep, and I may not have seemed a loving mother, but I care aboot you. It’s obvious to anyone to see how you’re suffering. I won’t pretend that I cared aboot Maude before now, but I’ve always cared aboot you. You need to eat, and you need to sleep. You will do as I say, Kieran. Not because I demand it, but because you won’t last much longer if you don’t. What will Maude do if she awakes to you ill? You and I both know she’ll try to get out of bed and tend to you well before she should dream of moving. Is that what you want? You poorly wife to have to take care of you?”
Kieran shook his head as a new wave of guilt assailed him. He knew his mother had guessed correctly. She’d described what Maude would do if she was worried about his health. He looked back at his mother with bleary eyes and nodded. Eara and Agatha had other duties beyond just Maude; that was why he’d sent them away and insisted he would summon them if needed. But he’d feared shutting his eyes for too long in case Maude needed something and he missed it. His mother went to the door and spoke to someone in the passageway; shortly after, a knock came. Kieran grumbled, but his mother met the person at the door. She and Abigail each carried in a chair, and Kieran understood his mother knew he wouldn’t allow anyone else in the chamber. She was being mindful and considerate. Abigail left but returned with a sewing basket over each arm and a large tray of food. Adeline pulled the table beside him, and Abigail placed the tray upon it. Fiona had fixed his favorite foods and a large bowl of steaming bone broth was there for Maude. The cook had been on her best behavior since learning of Maude’s injuries. She’d sent food up for Maude without being asked, and when Kieran tasted the bone broth the first day, it had surprised him that the normally bland food actually tasted good. He picked at what Fiona sent to him, but the need for sleep nipped at his heels. He watched his mother and sister sit in silence by the fire as they sewed. He discovered he appreciated the companionable silence. Eara and Agatha had kept up steady but quiet conversations when all Kieran wanted was peace. He rubbed his eyes and tried to stifle a yawn. He had to trust his mother
and sister enough to lie down next to Maude and close his eyes. Sleep claimed him within moments of his head hitting the pillow.
The next two days came with their own routine. Adeline and Abigail helped Kieran bathe Maude twice a day. They took turns reading to her in hushed tones when Kieran slept. They stepped out when he bathed but returned to help change the bedding and her bandages. Kieran spooned broth and tea into her throughout the day, and he even began eating proper meals. His mother was wiping a cool compress over Maude’s face and neck while Abigail was reading when Maude’s voice drifted to him for the first time in a sennight.
“Hungry,” she croaked. Kieran’s eyes flew open to find pools of whisky brown staring at him. She offered him a half-smile while her fingers twitched more than squeezed within his hand. She turned to peer at who ministered to her and the expression of shock when she recognized Adeline had Kieran cooing soothing words.
“They’ve been helping for the past two days, while insisting I sleep. Mother has been gentle and a great help.”
“Nae throttled me?” Maude rasped.
“Nay, buttercup.”
“Nay poison,” she grinned but her chapped lips made her wince.
“Nay.” Kieran’s gaze jumped to his mother, fearing she would take offense, but the relief in her smile made him relax.
“Nay, lass. We didn’t try to kill you. You gave us all a good scare, and it seems just what Abigail and I needed to get our heads out of our arses.” Adeline smiled, but grew somber moments later. “My son loves you more than I’ve ever seen a mon love any woman. I don’t think he’d be long for this world if aught happened to you. I love my son, and I will do any and everything to keep him hale. It was no great struggle to realize aiding in your recovery would keep Kieran well. Your illness gave me pause to acknowledge how selfish I’ve been and what spoiled daughters I’ve raised. It’s also made everyone in the keep recognize how much responsibility and work you’ve shouldered in the short time you’ve been here. To maintain the keep as you’ve made it, the servants had to admit how much work you do once they divided those duties among themselves. I realize these are but words, Lady MacLeod, but I am deeply sorry for how I have wronged you.”
Maude shifted her gaze between Adeline and Kieran, who looked as shocked as she felt. She hurt all over and was nauseous, so she didn’t feel gracious about receiving the apology. She nodded her head and offered a tight smile as Abigail stepped closer. She held something in her closed hand, and Maude’s eyes watered when her sister-by-marriage opened it.
“I don’t know who did this. Honestly, I don’t. It wasn’t me or Mother, but that doesn’t matter. Whoever wanted to hurt you believed they could because of the example Mother and I set. I’m sorry for what I did, and I’m sorry for being responsible for you being so badly hurt by this being broken.”
Abigail handed the carved figurine to Maude. What had been fractured into two pieces was now one. She turned it over in her hand and discovered a thin piece of metal connected the broken parts on the back and the bottom.
“Who mended this?” Maude whispered.
“I spotted it on your table by your comb. I took it to the blacksmith and asked him to show me how to fix it.”
“Show you? You did this?”
Abigail shrugged, but nodded. “It was the least I could do. Mother has been taking care of you while Kieran rested, Agatha has been running the household for you, Eara has been bringing you healing tinctures, and Kieran hasn’t left this chamber since he returned home with you. I wanted to do something for you too.”
Maude’s eyes leaked tears from the corners as she ran her thumb over the smooth patch where her parents were carved side-by-side.
“Thank you.” Maude struggled to sit up, and Kieran assisted her, tucking pillows behind her back and head. “This means more to me than you’ll ever know. This is, besides my wedding ring, my greatest worldly treasure.”
“I know. I didn’t want to admit my regret or guilt at the time because I was too mired in my dislike to show you any kindness. Seeing you like this, how wrong it felt to watch you not be able to shrug this off as you seem to do with aught that challenges you. It scared me.”
Maude tried to absorb what Adeline and Abigail told her. It was the antithesis of everything that had passed between them thus far, but the women’s expressions were contrite and worried. The best she could offer Abigail was the same nod and half-smile she gave Adeline. She turned to gaze at Kieran, who’d been watching her. It shocked her to see how disheveled and browbeaten he looked. She reached out a hand to touch his beard, but she found she was too weak to raise her arm that high. As it dropped, Kieran grasped it and brought it to his face. His eyes closed as her fingers stroked the hair that grew along his jaw.
“Kiss,” she murmured, and Kieran was only too happy to oblige. The kiss was soft and tender, Kieran fearful of overdoing it while Maude was still so weak. When they pulled away, Maude scrunched up her nose. “You’re just as handsome with it, but it’s scratchy and tickles my nose. I don’t think I like it.”
Kieran grinned as he kissed her again, this time with a little more pressure. She opened to him but shrank back a moment later, covering her mouth with her hand.
“I don’t care,” Kieran growled before licking the seam of her lips until she parted them. He swept a languid tongue against hers and did nothing to stifle the groan that escaped as Maude kissed him back. Adeline and Abigail slipped from the chamber as Maude rolled toward Kieran, and he held her in his embrace. When the kiss ended, he tucked her head against his chest as she fell back to sleep. They remained that way through the night and into the next morning when the door burst open.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kieran jerked awake to the sound of someone storming into his chamber. He grabbed his sword, ready to spring from the bed, but Maude’s words made him focus on who entered unannounced.
“Mama! Da!”
Kieran recognized his parents-by-marriage as Amelia entered first, followed by Hamish close on her heels. Amelia stumbled as Hamish pushed past her and cupped Maude’s face before pressing a kiss to her forehead. Amelia ducked under Hamish’s arms to embrace Maude with great care. Kieran watched tears slip down both parents’ cheeks. He felt like an intruder in his own chamber and moved to leave, but Maude’s hand grasped his forearm, her fingers biting into his skin. She shot him a look that warned him not to consider leaving. She turned back to her parents and greeted them with one of her wide, toothy grins. Kieran hadn’t seen one since she awoke, and his heart calmed. While a selfish part of him wished he’d been the first recipient of such a warm greeting, he recalled the kisses they’d shared since she roused from unconsciousness. While they hadn’t shifted their position through the night, they’d woken more than once, both needing the assurance the other was still there. They’d kissed and held hands before drifting back to sleep.
“Ah, ma wee one,” Hamish choked. “We didna ken how we might find ye. It does ma soul good to see ye awake. I feared the worst when we received Kieran’s missive.”
“Kieran wrote to you? How’s it possible that you got here so fast?”
“We left as soon as we read it, and we rode through most of the nights,” Amelia explained. They all turned when the door eased open and Blair and Lachlan peered in. The siblings ran to Maude’s side when they realized she was alive and looking far better than they expected.
“You all came?” Maude wondered aloud.
“Of course,” Lachlan answered.
Maude turned to Kieran, looking defeated for the first time since her injuries. “You worried I would die.” Kieran couldn’t speak around the lump in his throat, so he nodded. “Oh, turtledove, I’m not ready to leave you yet. I have too many more years to spend with you before I’m ready for us to part.”
Blair stepped closer to the bed as Amelia and Hamish made room for their children to see their sister.
“Are you really improving?” Blair whispered.
“Aye
. I feel better this morning than I did when I awoke yesterday. I suspect I’m over the worst of it. A few days of fever wasn’t enough to do me in.”
“A few days?” Hamish repeated. “Lass, the bluidy beast injured ye over a sennight ago.”
Before she had the chance to respond, Amelia shifted her attention to Kieran. “Does she ken?”
Kieran shook his head before taking Maude’s hand. He pressed a kiss to her temple to ease her panicked reaction. He nudged her chin, so she locked eyes with him. He couldn’t resist dropping a kiss on her lips before he explained.
“Buttercup, we’re going to have a bairn.”
Maude blinked several times, but still looked confused. “A what?”
“A bairn. Eara examined you and discovered you’re carrying. She figures you’re close to three moons already.”
“A bairn. I can’t believe it. I didn’t consider it. Before, when I was younger and didn’t eat enough, my courses were unpredictable. I assumed that’s all that was happening.”
“And I never gave it any consideration either. I guess I figured they came while I was on patrol. I never thought to ask.”
“Turtledove, we’ll really have our own bairn?”
“Aye, lass. Our own bairn.”
Maude fell silent as she attempted to pull forth a memory. It was cloudy, but she was certain she remembered something from when she was unconscious. “Did you ask me aboot names and what I would want to call our lad or lass?”
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