by Thomas Nash
Rome_: where in the wayit was my chance to meet him in the nicke here at _Bolognia_, as I willtell you how. I saw a great fray in the streetes as I past along, andmanie swords walking, wherevpon drawing neerer, and enquiring who theywere, answer was returned mee it was that notable Bandetto _Esdras ofGranado_. O so I was tickled in the spleene with that word, my hearthopt & daunst, my elbowes itcht, my fingers friskt, I wist not whatshould become of my feete, nor knew what I did for ioy. The fray parted.I thought it not conuenient to single him out (being a sturdie knaue)in the street, but to stay till I had got him at more aduantage. Tohis lodging I dogd him, lay at the dore all night where hee entred, forfeare hee should giue me the slip anie way. Betimes in the morning Irung the bell and crau'd to speake with him: vp to his chamber dore Iwas brought, where knocking, hee rose in his shirt and let me in, andwhen I was entred, bad me lock the dore and declare my arrant, and so heslipt to bed againe.
Marrie this quoth I is my arrant Thy name is _Esdras of Granado_, is itnot? Most treacherously thou slewst my brother _Bartoll_ about two yeresagoe in the streetes of _Rome_: his death am I come to reuenge. In questof thee euer since aboue three thousand miles haue I trauaild. I hauebegd to maintaine me the better part of the waye, onely because I wouldintermit no time from my pursute in going backe for monie. Now haueI got thee naked in my power, die thou shalt, though my mother and mygrandmother dying did intreate for thee. I haue promist the diuell thysoule within this houre, breake my word I will not, in thy breast Iintend to burie a bullet. Stirre not, quinch not, make no noyse: for ifthou dost it will be worse for thee. Quoth _Esdras_, what euer thou beeat whose mercie I lye, spare me, and I wil giue thee as much gold asthou wilt aske. Put me to anie paines my life reserued, and I willinglywill sustaine them: cut off my armes and legs, and leaue me as a lazerto some loathsome spittle, where I may but liue a yeare to pray andrepent me. For thy brothers death the despayre of minde that hath euersince haunted mee, the guiltie gnawing worme of conscience I feelemay bee sufficient penaunce. Thou canst not send me to such a hell, asalreadie there is in my hart. To dispatch me presently is no reuenge,it wil soone be forgotten: let me dye a lingring death, it will beremembred a great deale longer. A lingring death maye auaile my soule,but it is the illest of ills that can befortune my bodie. For my souleshealth I beg my bodies torment: bee not thou a diuell to torment mysoule, and send me to eternall damnation. Thy ouer-hanging swordhides heauen from my sight, I dare not looke vp, least I embrace mydeaths-wound vnawares: I cannot pray to God, and plead to thee bothat once. Ay mee, alreadie I see my life buried in the wrinckles of thybrowes: say but I shall liue, though thou meanest to kill me. Nothingconfounds like to suddaine terror, it thrusts euerie sense out ofoffice. Poyson wrapt vp in sugred pills is but halfe a poyson: the feareof deaths lookes are more terrible than his stroake. The whilest I viewedeath, my faith is deaded: where a mans feare is, there his heart is.Feare neuer engenders hope: how can I hope that heauens father will sauemee from the hell euerlasting, when he giues me ouer to the hell of thyfurie.
_Heraclide_, now thinke I on thy teares sowen in the dust (thy teares,that my bloudie minde made barraine). In reuenge of thee, God hardensthis mans heart against mee: yet I did not slaughter thee, thoughhundreds else my hand hath brought to the shambles. Gentle sir, learneof mee what it is to clog your conscience with murder, to haue yourdreames, your sleepes, your solitarie walkes troubled and disquietedwith murther. Your shaddowe by daye will affright you, you will not seea weapon vnsheathd, but immediately you will imagine it is predestinatefor your destruction.
This murder is a house diuided within it selfe: it subornes a mansowne soule to informe against him: his soule (being his accuser) bringsfoorth his two eyes as witnesses agaynst him: and the least eyewitnesse is vnrefutable. Plucke out my eyes if thou wilt, and depriuemy trayterous soule of her two best witnesses. Digge out my blasphemoustongue with thy dagger, both tongue and eyes will I gladly forgoe, tohaue a little more time to thinke on my iourney to heauen.
Deferre a while thy resolution. I am not at peace with the world,for euen but yesterdaye I fought, and in my furie threatened furthervengeaunce: had I face to face askt forgiuenesse, I should thinkehalfe my sinnes were forgiuen. A hundred Diuells haunt mee daily for myhorrible murders: the diuells when I dye will be loath to goe to hellwith mee, for they desir'd of Christ he would not send them to hellbefore their time; if they goe not to hell, into thee they will goe, andhideously vexe thee for turning them out of their habitation. Wounds Icontemne, life I prize light, it is another worlds tranquilitie whichmakes me so timerous: euerlasting damnation, euerlasting howling andlamentation. It is not from death I request thee to deliuer me, but fromthis terror of torments eternitie. Thy brothers bodie onely I pierstvnaduisedly, his soule meant I no harme too at all: my bodie & souleboth shalt thou cast awaye quite, if thou doost at this instant whatthou maist Spare me, spare me I beseech thee: by thy owne soulessaluation I desire thee, seeke not my soules vtter perdition: indestroying me, thou destroyest thy selfe and me.
Eagerly I replide after his long suppliant oration; Though I knewe Godwould neuer haue mercie on mee except I had mercie on thee, yet of theeno mercie would I haue. Reuenge in our tragedies continually is raisedfrom hell: of hell doo I esteeme better than heauen, if it affoord mereuenge. There is no heauen but reuenge. I tell thee, I would not hauevndertooke so much toyle to gaine heauen, as I haue done in pursuingthee for reuenge. Diuine reuenge, of which (as of the ioyes aboue)there is no fulnes or satietie. Looke how my feete are blisteredwith following thee from place to place. I haue riuen my throatwithouerstraining it to curse thee. I haue grownd my teeth to pouderwith grating and grinding them together for anger, when anie hath nam'dthee. My tongue with vaine threates is bolne, and waxen too big formy mouth. My eies haue broken their strings with staring and lookingghastly, as I stood deuising how to frame or set my countenance when Imet thee. I haue nere spent my strength in imaginarie acting on stonewals, what I determined to execute on thee. Entreate not, a miracle mayenot repriue thee: villaine, thus march I with my blade into thy bowels.
Stay, stay exclaimed _Esdras_, and heare mee but one word further.Though neither for God nor man thou carest, but placeth thy wholefelicitie in murder, yet of thy felicitie learne how to make a greaterfelicitie. Respite me a little from thy swords poynt, and set meeabout some execrable enterprise, that may subuert the whole state ofChristendome, and make all mens eares tingle that heare of it. Commaundme to cut all my kindreds throates, to burne men women and children intheir beds in millions, by firing their Cities at midnight. Be it Pope,Emperour or Turke that displeaseth thee, he shal not breath on theearth. For thy sake will I sweare and forsweare, renounce my baptisme,and all the interest I haue in any other sacrament. Onely let me liuehow miserable soeuer, be it in a dungeon amongst toades, serpents andadders, or set vp to the necke in dung. No paines I will refuse how euerproroged, to haue a little respite to purifie my spirit: oh heare me,heare me, and thou canst not be hardned against me.
At this his importunitie paused a little, not as retyring from mywreakful resolution, but going back to gather more forces of vengeance.With my selfe I deuised how to plague him double for his base minde.My thoughts traueld in quest of some notable newe Italionisme, whosemurdrous platforme might not onely extend on his bodie, but his soulealso. The ground worke of it was this. That whereas he had promised formy sake to sweare and forsweare, and commit _Iulian_-like violence onthe highest seales of religion: if he would but thus farre satisfieme he should bee dismist from my furie. First and formost he shouldrenounce God and his lawes, and vtterly disclaime the whole title orinterest he had in anie couenaunt of saluation. Next he should cursehim to his face, as _Iob_ was willed by his wife, and write an absolutefirme obligation of his soule to the diuell, without condition orexception. Thirdly and lastly (hauing done this), hee should praye toGod feruently neuer to haue mercie vppon him, or pardon him. Scarcehad I propounded these articles vnto him, but he was beginning hisblasphemous abiurations. I wonder the earth
opened not and swallowedvs both hearing the bold tearmes he blasted forth in contempt ofChristianitie: Heauen hath thundred when halfe lesse contumelies againstit haue been vttered. Able they were to raise Saints and Martirs fromtheir graues, and plucke Christ himselfe from the right hand of hisfather. My ioints trembled & quakt with attending them, my haire stoodvpright, & my hart was turned wholly to fire. So affectionately andzealously did hee giue himselfe ouer to infidelitie, as if sathan hadgotten the vpper hand of our high Maker. The veyne in his left hand thatis deriued from his heart with no faint blow he pierst, & with the bloudthat flowd from it, writ a ful obligation of his soule to the diuell:yea, more earnestly he praid vnto God neuer to forgiue it his soule,than manie Christians doo to saue theyr soules. These fearfullceremonies brought to an end, I bad him ope his mouth and gape wide. Hedid so (as what wil not slaues doo for feare). Therwith made I no moreadoo, but shot him ful into the throat
