by Howard Fast
MILDRED It came my way. As a matter of fact, my being here is just the kind of thing to throw Andrews into a fine rage. I suppose that’s why I’m here so much.
JANE What are you talking about, Mildred?
MILDRED Look, honey—you’re verboten. For the time being. Andrews told me yesterday to call up and tell you that the bridge date was off, and we had a beautiful little set-to about that, just a beauty. Even for the Andrews, it was a beauty.
JANE (staring at her bewilderedly) Why didn’t you call it off if you wanted to? You know how I feel about bridge.
MILDRED Because sometimes I get a little insight into just what kind of a louse my husband is.
JANE You mean he was afraid, to see us because of the Agronsky business?
MILDRED That’s right. A friend of a friend. Only there aren’t any friends. Would you like a lecture on men? I’ve even got a solution for it, if you could dig a hole big enough.
JANE Mildred—will you concentrate on this for just one moment. What on earth could your seeing us have to do with Agronsky?
MILDRED Darling, don’t be an idiot. Agronsky’s going to have the whole book thrown at him. Therefore, if you know Agronsky or if you know anyone who knows Agronsky, you play it safe. Anyway, Andrews plays everything safe. Give me another drink, will you?
(JANE takes her glass, refills it, and then refills her own.)
Anyway, I wasn’t a hero. I suppose the truth of the matter is that I did it because I’d love to see Andrews pulled in on this Agronsky business. But that’s just an idle dream. He won’t be.
JANE Will you tell me one thing, Mildred—do you know what Agronsky has done?
MILDRED I don’t, and I don’t really care. I guess he’s a Red or something——
(LORRY enters on this. Her face and bands are quite dirty.)
Here’s the beautiful one.
LORRY Hello, Mildred, did you bring me a present?
JANE Lorry, how many times have I told you——
MILDRED Leave her alone. That’s the only practical thing any woman ever said.
(to LORRY)
Sure I did, Sweetie. Just let me get it.
(She goes to the pile of pastry boxes and begins to undo the string.)
JANE Lorry, how on earth did you get so dirty?
LORRY In the cellar with Hilda.
JANE What is Hilda doing in the cellar?
LORRY Throwing things away.
JANE What things? Has this whole house gone mad? Will you tell her that I want to see her—now. No, wait a minute. Get a wet rag from the kitchen and let me clean off your face and hands.
MILDRED (She has taken out from one of the boxes a decorative heart-shaped pastry.) How do you like it—from me to you?
LORRY (reaching for it) Oh, it’s beautiful.
JANE First get that wet rag.
(LORRY runs into the kitchen.)
MILDRED You’re not angry because I brought her the cake, are you, Jane?
JANE No—it’s not that, it’s a hundred and one other things.
(LORRY reappears with the rag, and JANE rubs her face and hands while she twists and pulls away.)
MILDRED Well, I’m on my way, just slightly potted. Darling, if you want to cry on an uneasy shoulder, drop over.
JANE Thanks.
LORRY (holding the pastry) This is beautiful! Can I eat it now, Mommy?
JANE (walking toward the door with MILDRED) Not now. Please call Hilda.
(to MILDRED, as LORRY exits)
You really envy me, don’t you?
MILDRED Sure I do.
JANE And I’m going to leave Dave.
MILDRED (stopping and turning toward her) What?
JANE That’s right. I don’t know when—to-day, to-morrow, ten days from now——
(shaking her head, her face suddenly contorted)
But I’m going to. That’s the important thing.
MILDRED Have you lost your mind?
JANE No—I shouldn’t have thrown it at you this way, but I had to talk to someone. I’ve been fighting it out with myself all day—and this is no good either. Please forget it, Mildred.
MILDRED (trying to embrace her) You poor thing. Why don’t you——
JANE (smiling and pushing her away) No, no, please don’t. This is one I can’t explain, Mildred. Thanks for coming. Now go ahead. Here’s Hilda.
MILDRED Just don’t do anything quick. Please—promise me.
JANE Sure——
(MILDRED leaves. JANE turns back to the living-room where LORRY is exhibiting the cake.)
LORRY See, Hilda—it’s for me. But I’ll give you a piece. That’s a promise right now.
JANE Hilda, what possessed you to decide to spend the afternoon in the basement?
HILDA I had to sort out my things, Mrs. Graham. I accumulate a lot of junk. It seems I can’t bear to throw anything away.
JANE What for?
HILDA Don’t you know?
(She looks at JANE curiously.)
I’m leaving.
JANE What do you mean, you’re leaving?
LORRY Where are you going, Hilda?
HILDA Nowhere—just nowhere at all. Lorry, why don’t you please take that cake into the kitchen, and then if you’ll set the table real nice, we’ll have a party——
(She breaks off, looking at the child.)
—and that’ll be fine.
LORRY But where are you going?
HILDA Don’t you want a party, Lorry?
JANE Lorry, do what Hilda says. Then I’ll have the party with you.
LORRY All right——
(She picks up the cake and leaves.)
JANE Please make sense, Hilda. Is this because of that silly scrap we had yesterday?
HILDA (shaking her head) No——
JANE Then what? Don’t you know what happened here yesterday? David was upset, and that’s why he said what he did about Grace.
HILDA It isn’t that. Last night I came in here after you went to bed, and Mr. Graham was here, and he accused me of listening to what you were saying—and well, we had a fight and he fired me. That’s all. I thought you knew.
JANE (walking over to HILDA) He fired you?
HILDA Yes.
JANE But what happened?
HILDA I don’t know what happened, Mrs. Graham. It just happened. It always does. It always does, doesn’t it? I’m not complaining. You stretch like a rubber band, and then you decide to be a human being, not a rubber band. And I’m sick of trying to be one—for Mr. Graham or you.
JANE (interrupting) What a way to talk, Hilda.
HILDA How do you want me to talk, Mrs. Graham?
JANE (going over and putting her arms around HILDA) Ever since I was able to think, Hilda, I’ve been trying to get this world I live in to make sense to me. I said to myself, If I do what I have to do, it will make sense. And sometimes, I think that if I do what I have to do, it will just come crashing down around my ears. Maybe it has already; I don’t know——
(The doorbell rings.)
That’s David. Hilda, go and have that1 party with Lorry. We can’t settle this now. Please, Hilda.
HILDA (pilling away from her) All right, Mrs. Graham. Only don’t try to make believe nothing happened. Don’t treat me like a little girl. I’m older than you, Mrs. Graham. Remember that.
(She goes through the dining-room archway, leaving Jane standing there unhappily. Then Jane goes to the door and opens it. David enters.)
DAVID (dully) Hello, Jane.
(He comes into the room, walking without spirit. JANE closes the door and then starts toward the stairs.)
JANE I’ve been like this for the last hour. I’ll put on a dress and be down in a moment.
DAVID (in the same tone) All right.
(JANE goes up the stairs, leaving DAVID alone in the living-room. He stands as he is for a moment. Then he goes to the radio and switches it on. Music, to which he listens without hearing—and then he clicks it off. He goes to the bar and pours
a drink, and then stands there sipping it. HILDA enters then and stops short at the archway. DAVID turns and sees her. Apparently he has forgotten about last night.)
Hello, Hilda;
HILDA Good evening, Mr. Graham. I was going to tell Mrs. Graham that the party was ready.
DAVID What party?
HILDA (her voice fiat and uncertain) Mrs. Andrews was here and she brought a pretty cake for Lorry, so Mrs. Graham said it would be nice if we all had a party.
DAVID (He hasn’t been listening.) What?
HILDA Just a little make-believe party.
DAVID Uh-huh—sure. I’ll tell Jane when she comes down.
(HILDA goes out. DAVID stands there, looking at his drink. Then he walks to a, chair and drops into it. JANE comes down the stairs, dressed now. DAVID doesn’t glance up until she is quite close to him.)
You don’t seem very glad to see me?
JANE No—I don’t, do I, Dave?
DAVID What was Mildred Andrews doing here to-day?
JANE She dropped in to give us some pastry she picked up. She bought it with her bridge winnings last night.
DAVID Why? Can’t we afford to lose five bucks without payment in kind?
JANE Yes, but I suppose she can’t afford to win it.
DAVID That doesn’t make sense.
JANE Hardly anything makes sense to-day.
(She turns and starts toward the dining-room. DAVID rises and follows her, taking one of her arms and turning her to face him. They stand like that for a moment, then DAVID lets go of her arm.)
DAVID I’ve been trying all day to think of how beautiful you are—and I couldn’t. Why’d you marry me, Jane?
JANE Because I loved you.
DAVID And now?
(JANE stands motionless, without response. DAVID takes her by the shoulders, as if to kiss her, and she pulls away.)
All right——
(He starts back to the chair.)
Don’t tell me about it—oh, the hell with it!
(He sits down and picks up his drink.)
Here’s to everything.
JANE I might as well tell you, Dave. I’ve been fighting with myself all day—you don’t understand that, do you? But the funny thing is I didn’t make any decision. You made it for me last night.
DAVID What in hell are you talking about?
JANE (coming closer to him) You and me, Dave—can’t you understand? Or did you figure that after that business last night, everything went on just as it had before?
DAVID I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
JANE Because it’s not easy to say, Dave.
(She moves closer to him, shaking her head. Her voice is almost flat, yet awfully urgent.’)
It’s the worst thing I’ve had to say—ever. That we’re through. We’re through.
DAVID (standing up) Are you crazy, Jane?
JANE Maybe I am. If I am, it’s the only way I can be.
DAVID Just let it make sense—that’s all I ask! You don’t come to something like this in two hours! Last night wasn’t the first fight we’ve had! What in hell are you doing to me, Jane?
JANE David——
DAVID (taking her again by the shoulders) Jane, we’ve been together a long time. You don’t wipe it out like this. You know what I am. You’ve always known what I am.
JANE That’s it; I haven’t. I didn’t know until last night—until you sold out Agronsky.
DAVID (His arms drop.) Until I sold Agronsky——
(He begins to laugh, a trace of hysteria in it. He turns and walks away from her, turns to face her again.)
Until I sold Agronsky. My God, that’s beautiful—that’s just beautiful. Now I’m Judas—only there’s no thirty pieces of silver!
(He drops into a chair, his face in his hands.)
JANE (with pity) Dave——
DAVID (not looking up) We’re through, huh? This is my day. You’re through with me, and so is the government. All to-day, everything to-day.
JANE Dave—what happened?
DAVID (looking up at her) Why? Are you going to feel sorry for me? I sold out Agronsky, didn’t I? That’s, your decision. Nothing’s going to change that, is it? And to-day that fat swine Carmichael called me in and told me I could either resign or face a loyalty board. Because I knew Agronsky.
JANE David—no.
(LORRY comes running in now.)
LORRY You said we’re going to have a party.
(pulling at DAVID’s hand)
We’re going to have a party, don’t you understand?
DAVID (rising and picking her up in his arms) Sure—sure, honey. We’re going to have a party and we’re going to celebrate everything.
(He walks out with her. JANE stares after him a moment, then starts to follow.)
Curtain—End of Act II
ACT III
The scene for Act III is the same as the previous scene, the living-room of the Graham home. It is about ten o’clock of the same day as the previous act. As the curtain rises, HILDA enters through the dining-room archway. JANE GRAHAM, who is at the foot of the stairs, turns and looks at HILDA, who stops uncertainly, HILDA stands there, a few feet into the room, and then JANE goes over to her and takes her hand.
JANE I’m sorry, Hilda. I’m so sorry.
HILDA (more evenly and coldly than she ever said anything before) Why, Mrs. Graham? Why are you sorry? You said that before. Why do you keep telling me that you’re sorry?
JANE (puzzled) For you, Hilda——
HILDA (angry suddenly) Well, keep it!
JANE I don’t understand you, Hilda.
HILDA Don’t you? Why don’t you understand me, Mrs. Graham? I said something plain enough. Keep your sorrow, I said. I don’t need it. I don’t want anything, Mrs. Graham! Know why—I’ll tell you why, my dear. I’ll tell you why plain. Look at my hands——
(She holds them out. JANE stares, surprised, even frightened.)
—it’s going to dirty them, anything you give me. Sympathy’s going to dirty them. Everything in this house will rub off dirt.
JANE Hilda!
HILDA Yes, Hilda! Hilda! Hilda! Every time I open my mouth, it’s like that, Hilda! Hilda, come here! Hilda, do this! Hilda, stop! Hilda, behave—be a servant, Hilda!
JANE My God, Hilda—what are you saying? That’s not true. My own world is falling down around my head——
HILDA Is it? Oh, you’re full of tragedy, aren’t you, Mrs. Graham? Just like you were full of equality every time you tried to forget I was black and treat me like a human being. Only, you never did—never like any human being, Mrs. Graham. Shall I tell you something truthful—something damned truthful?
JANE Tell me it—you might as well, Hilda.
HILDA Just this, (full of fury now) I like better the way Mr. Graham talks. I know him. I know him plain and simple. But you—I don’t know you, and there’s nothing in you that’s plain and simple to know. You get inside of me, I find myself being sorry, sorry—crying for that little girl of yours. Well, where are my little girls, Mrs. Graham? Just one of you—just one white woman, younger than I am, strong and healthy, never been sick, never had less than enough to eat, always a belly full—but what have you done, Mrs. Graham? Justify yourself! Justify yourself, Mrs. Graham, instead of being so damned righteous!
JANE Don’t talk to me like that, Hilda!
HILDA Why not? I’m fired. Why not? If I was a black man, you could holler rape and have me strung up by the neck. But I’m a woman, Mrs. Graham. Why not? I clean this house, cook your meals, bathe your child, dress your child, wash your clothes—all that I did, but you don’t do nothing, do you? But you’re so full of equality. And now you’re full of tragedy. Why, Mrs. Graham, you wouldn’t know tragedy, even if it comes and slaps you straight in the face. You wouldn’t know it at all. Not a blessed bit. You want me to cry for you? Well, I got no tears in me to cry for you. I watched white folks too long to want to cry for them—too long.
(JANE has moved back from
HILDA during this. She moves back until she stumbles against the stair railing, and suddenly she grips it, bends convulsively and begins to weep. HILDA watches her, at first without moving—and then HILDA’s anger breaks and she goes toward JANE. JANE draws away from her.)
JANE Leave me alone, Hilda.
HILDA That way. You never talked to me that way before.
JANE Leave me alone.
HILDA Why don’t you ask me to be a friend? My God, white woman, why don’t you ask me? Where you going to turn for friends? You know what you’re doing?
(JANE shakes her head.)
No, no—how could you? You seen just a little dirt in people around you. Jane—now I call you Jane—Jane, I been rubbing that dirt off them all my life. But where are you going? What are you doing? It takes strength to do what you’re thinking to do. It takes understanding. Where you going to get it, child? Where?
(JANE shakes her head dumbly, looks at HILDA again for a moment, and then turns and walks up the stairs slowly. From behind, she looks like an old woman. HILDA makes a suggestion of a movement toward her, then stops and stands watching her. Then the doorbell rings. JANE doesn’t hear it; all sounds are blocked out for her at this moment. Nor does HILDA respond at first. When the bell rings again, HILDA turns and slowly walks to open the door. She comes out of the entranceway after FULLER, who enters, hat in hand.)
FULLER Good evening. I took the chance of finding Mr. Graham in.
(HILDA just stands there, watching him.)
I said good evening.
HILDA I heard.
FULLER Where’s Mr. Graham?
HILDA He’s out.
FULLER When do you expect him?
HILDA I don’t expect him. Maybe you expect him. I don’t. Makes no difference to me if he stays out or comes back.
FULLER (staring at her, turning his hat over in his hands) Then you don’t mind if I sit down and wait—Hilda? That is your name, isn’t it?
HILDA (who turns on another lamp as FULLER seats himself) No.
FULLER What?
HILDA You asked, is that my name. I said no. That ain’t my name. My name is Miss Smith—Smith. That’s my name.
FULLER What are you talking about, girl?
(He hardens. This is a breath of the real FULLER. He is shedding his softness, his cheap veneer.)
HILDA You know what I’m talking about, Mr. Fuller. That’s your name, isn’t it?
