She looked to Jack and he knew without a doubt that she was reading more into this than she should. “Not at all, come join us.”
The three of them talked until they were yawning too much to continue. Saying their goodnights, Jack watch Holly head to her room before going to his…alone.
* * * *
Holly knew she should stay in her own room. She and Jack may be sleeping together but they were not sleeping together. They hadn’t actually written down the rules but everyone knew that casual flings did not spend the night. Well, unless one was too tired out from sex to make it to his or her own bed. But this was different. Holly tossed and turned. Her mind, which she’d pleasantly distracted all day long, had switched into overdrive the moment she tried to close her eyes and go to sleep.
For someone who had always lived life on a whim—for whom the term “life plan” had always been a laughable phrase—she had gotten terribly attached to hers. Suddenly a future that she’d seen before her, clear as a picture, was replaced by a dark, hazy void. What would she do now that Benjamin rejected her?
There was no reason to stay in Oakdale. But then again, if she was going to settle down, her hometown was as good a choice as any. At least she’d be close to family. And Benjamin. She heaved a sigh at the thought of running into Benjamin on a regular basis—a constant reminder of the dream life she’d never have. Maybe she wouldn’t stay in Oakdale after all. All she knew was, she didn’t want to keep living the nomadic life she’d been leading. Not that she wanted to give up the travel altogether but she wanted some sort of stability. An anchor, to keep her rooted in place. She would never give up the dream for a family—the miscarriage and now the aching jealousy she felt whenever she spoke to her sister had made it all too clear what was missing in her life.
Try as she might, she couldn’t shake the dream she’d been clinging to this past year, nor could she picture a new reality for herself. Benjamin was her family—her future—he was her anchor. Without him keeping her grounded, she could never have the life she’d planned. She’d never have that stability. That thought brought a fresh wave of sadness.
Exhausted and desperately in need of sleep to turn off her brain, Holly finally gave into temptation. Tiptoeing out of her bedroom and down the hall, she paused outside of Jack’s closed door. She was dangerously close to crossing a line here. But the thought or returning to her cold, lonely bed was depressing and he was right there, so close. Besides, they’d already agreed that this wasn’t going anywhere. He wouldn’t read into it any more than she would.
With that thought in mind, she opened the door and headed toward the bed. He looked so adorable lying fast asleep. He woke when she sat on the side of the bed. “Holly?” he murmured. “Are you okay?”
Holly nodded. She didn’t want to talk. “I’m fine. But can I…um, can I sleep in here tonight?”
Jack’s eyes were half open and for a moment he stared at her as though confused. But then a slow, sleepy grin spread across his face and he tugged her hand so she was lying beside him. Then, in one quick move, he’d tucked her into him and curled around her so she was buried in a warm, safe cocoon that smelled amazingly good.
He nuzzled her neck through her hair until his lips reached her skin. Giving her a little kiss, he asked, “Better?”
Holly could only manage a quiet moan of contentment. She was already slipping into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The next morning, she woke feeling well rested and mildly confused as to where she was. Then she spotted Jack, typing away on his laptop at the desk in the corner. “Morning,” he said once he noticed that she was awake.
“Morning.” She pushed her curls out of her face and clutched the cover to her body, which was overkill since she was fully clothed as it was. She was slightly mortified. More uncomfortable than she’d felt when she’d woken in his bed naked the day before. Waking up in a man’s bed after a night of lovemaking was one thing. But she had crawled into his bed for cuddles. Cuddles, for the love of God. What had she been thinking? He was already worried that she wanted more from him and now he must be convinced that she was some kind of needy chick who wanted him to be her boyfriend.
Still typing at the computer, he said, “Lucia went out, she said something about helping one of her designer friends before the fashion show tomorrow. She wanted you to join her but we both figured you’d rather get some sleep.”
She blinked at his back in confusion. “What time is it?”
“Almost noon.”
Holly sat up straight. “What? Why did you let me sleep that long?” And in your room? Ugh. She whipped off the covers and starting to get out of bed.
Jack looked over in surprise before joining her on the bed, effectively pinning her back down to the mattress. “Hey, what’s your hurry? You clearly needed sleep and it’s not like you had any obligations today. You’re on vacation, remember?”
He was smiling down at her and the tension that had filled Holly’s chest started to ease. He didn’t seem put out in the slightest that they’d cuddled the night away. In fact, he seemed pretty damn pleased with himself.
Eyes sparkling with excitement, he rolled over in the bed so he could grab a box from the nightstand. “I got you something.”
Holly sat upright. “You got me something?” she repeated. “When did you do that?”
“This morning,” he said. “While you were sleeping.”
“Oh.” It was oddly strange to think of him coming in and out of the bedroom, going about his life, all while she slept in a coma, apparently, in his bed. It was even stranger to think that he’d gone out to buy her a present.
“Jack, you shouldn’t have,” she started. When she took the box from him, she looked up at him in surprise. “A phone?”
She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but a phone was definitely not it.
“It’s a prepaid with international service,” he explained. He was looking so proud of himself, Holly couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“Thank you, but you really didn’t have to do that. You don’t have to get me presents.”
Jack sat beside her, leaning against the wall. “I know, but it’s not so much a present for you as it is for Ivy.”
Holly’s head snapped up at that. “For Ivy?”
Jack nodded. “I know that she hates when she can’t get a hold of you so I thought—”
Holly’s sigh cut him off. “I know, she worries about me.” It was the story of her life. Her parents and Ivy and their older brothers were forever worrying about her.
Jack’s brows were furrowed in confusion for a second before understanding dawned. “Oh no, that’s not what I meant. Ivy needs you, now more than ever. And she’s going to need you even more once the baby arrives. I just wanted her to have a way of getting a hold of you.”
Holly stared at him for so long, he started to shift in the bed, clearly uncomfortable. But Holly didn’t know what to say. His words had struck something in her. She needs you. She’d never thought of it like that. She wasn’t sure anyone else saw their relationship that way but the fact that Jack did made her choked up and giddy with joy all at the same time.
How had she never seen that before? She and her sister had always been close but it always seemed like their relationship revolved around Ivy helping Holly. That was just the way it was. But now….
Her brain went from one scenario to another when Ivy had called her for advice or just to vent over the past couple of years. She needed her.
Jack was still watching her warily and she hoped none of the silly sentimentality was visible in her smile. “Thanks, Jack. Really. That means a lot.”
He gave her the squinty grin before tackling her back to the mattress, which left her breathless with laughter. “That’s what friends are for, right?” he teased.
Holly giggled. “Mmm-hmm.” She slipped a hand down toward the erection that was pressing against her thigh through his jeans. “And this is what friends with benefits are for,” she sa
id as she stroked the length of him.
His groan sent shivers down her spine. “My God, Holly,” he whispered. “You are such a good friend.”
Chapter 10
Jack couldn’t remember when he’d had more fun. In fact, he didn’t think he’d ever had so much fun in his entire life. When they finally left the bed, Holly led him on a whirlwind tour of the city. They visited her favorite neighborhoods and traipsed through narrow cobblestone streets, occasionally dropping into stores and frequently stopping at patisseries “for energy” as Holly put it.
By the end of the day, Jack had learned two things—Holly made everything fun. Everything. Even shoe shopping. And she ran solely on sugar and caffeine.
By the time Lucia met up with them for a late dinner, Jack was exhausted and his face hurt from smiling. Which was why, when Holly casually mentioned that she would be heading to Italy soon over dinner, Jack froze with his fork halfway to his mouth.
“What? Why?” His voice may have been a tad to plaintive because Holly and Lucia both gave him a funny look. Holly seemed confused but Lucia seemed almost…pitying. Oh crap. That’s not what he meant.
“I mean, I know you have to be there for Ivy,” he continued. “But there’s no rush, is there?”
Holly’s nose scrunched up as she considered him. “You mean other than the baby who may make an appearance any day now?”
Jack cleared his throat. Right. That. “I just meant, Ivy or Daniel will call when it’s time and…”
Holly gave him a knowing grin. “This is about your parents, isn’t it?”
Jack drew a blank. What was she talking about? Before he could respond, she continued. “Don’t worry, Jack. I’ll stick around until after we have dinner with your parents.” She gave him a light, friendly punch in the arm. A punch in the arm? Seriously? They had slept together multiple times—multiple, amazing times, in fact.
Some of the joy he’d been reveling in began to fade as he realized she was serious about leaving in two days. He’d known this wasn’t going to last forever—that was the point of a casual fling—but still, he’d thought he had more than a day and a half.
He barely paid attention to the conversation after that. And since the conversation was about the designers Lucia was working with and the fashion show the following night, neither woman seemed to expect him to contribute much anyway.
It wasn’t until they were back at the apartment and Lucia went to bed that Jack brought it up again. They were alone on the balcony, enjoying the cool breeze and twinkling lights. “Are you really in such a hurry to leave this?” he asked, gesturing to the view.
Holly smiled over at him. “I hate to leave, but it’s time I get back to reality.” She let out a little sigh, “Don’t get me wrong, Jack. This has been…” her voice trailed off and he found himself waiting eagerly for her to finish. What? It had been fun? Amazing? Breathtaking? She never finished. Instead she just smiled again, though her eyes held sadness. “But this isn’t reality. I can’t keep hiding from my life.”
Jack took a deep breath and nodded slowly. He could understand that. By staying here she was putting off talking to her sister and the rest of her family.
“I need to figure out where I’m going next or if I want to stay in Oakdale,” she continued. “And I need to talk to Benjamin.”
Jack’s head snapped up at the mention of the other man’s name. They had both studiously avoided talking about him ever since the first time they slept together. He still hated the name. More than ever, in fact.
“I thought you said it was over,” he said.
She shrugged. She was staring off into the distance and he wished she would look his way. He wanted to see what emotions were playing out in her eyes. “That’s what he said,” she answered. “But it doesn’t feel resolved, you know? There’s still so much to be said.”
Like what? He wanted to ask. But a part of him realized he didn’t want to hear the answer. If she was planning on begging him to come back, he didn’t want to know.
Instead he found himself saying, “Do you think he’ll change his mind?” When she didn’t immediately answer, he added, “Do you want him to?”
That got her attention. She turned to him then with a bittersweet smile. She ignored the last question but answered the first. “I think it’s possible that he’ll change his mind. People do it all the time.” He saw her inhale deeply and knew she was hurting despite the smile. “I did. I mean, I used to think I would never settle down. I thought I would always want to be carefree, no responsibilities, no commitments. But then I…I changed my mind.”
There was a deeper sadness in her eyes that he would give anything to erase. He hadn’t missed the hitch in her voice when she was talking. Something or someone had made her change her mind. Whatever it was, she clearly didn’t want to talk about it. He reached out a hand and placed it on her arm and she squeezed it.
Shaking her head as though shaking off the memories, she asked lightly, “So what about you? Do you think you’ll ever change your mind?”
“About?” he asked, though he knew exactly what she was referring to.
Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. She knew he was being intentionally obtuse. “Do you think you’ll ever change your mind about commitment, relationships, family…” She made a vague gesture as her voice trailed off.
His chest tightened at the question. He didn’t want to answer. He had a cache of witty comebacks that he used whenever anyone asked him if he would ever settle down but right now they all seemed insincere and shallow—completely inappropriate in the wake of her honest emotions.
So he said the truth. “It wouldn’t be a good idea.”
She blinked at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
He lifted a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “Ask my family what they think about me procreating,” he said with a laugh. “You’ll get an earful of reasons why it wouldn’t work. Hell, ask Danny or Brunelli, they’ll tell you why it’s a terrible idea.”
Holly tilted her head as she studied him. Setting her chin in a stubborn expression he was coming to know well she leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. “I’m not asking them, I’m asking you.”
He tried to think of a good response but his mind was annoyingly blank.
She leaned forward and stared at him with an intensity that was unnerving. “You know what I think, Jack? I think you and I have pigeonholed ourselves. We created these identities when we were younger and now that’s how everyone sees us.”
He noticed the unusually serious look in her eyes and the way her lips were tight with emotion. She was passionate about this and it seemed crucial to her that he understand. He thought about what she’d said and realized the truth in it. He had spent the better part of his life playing the role of the carefree playboy—the cocky, unpredictable, unreliable rogue. It had gotten to the point where he didn’t know where the role ended and he began.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said. He forced a smile despite the tightness in his chest. “But maybe I like who I am. Maybe I don’t want to change.”
She didn’t return his smile. Not right away at least. He could feel a tension build between them that he hated. But it was also a relief. A panicky feeling of expectation had begun to form and he couldn’t face it. Not yet.
Finally she returned his smile and her laugh was self-deprecating. “You’re right,” she said. “I guess sometimes reputations come about for a reason. Of course you don’t want to change that and why should you? You’ve got the world eating out of the palm of your hand. Any guy would trade places with you.”
Jack returned her smile but the warm contentment he’d experienced for the past two days was rapidly cooling and there was an empty pit in his gut when he considered her words. Any guy would trade places with him, she’d said. Something told him there was one man who wouldn’t—Benjamin.
When it was time to head to bed, he tugged her hand, pulling her into his room. She didn’t argue and when the
door closed and he pulled her into his arms, she went willingly. Eagerly. When they made love there was an urgency between them, an emotional connection that had never been there before.
* * * *
Lucia was like a dog with a bone. The two women had gone out to get some groceries for lunch and Lucia had spent the entire outing grilling Holly on the Jack situation. That’s what Lucia was now calling it. “The Jack Situation.” “It’s not a ‘situation’,” Holly explained. “It’s just…” What was it, exactly? Because she had no idea. “Fling” didn’t seem right, not with the amount of talking and laughing and…connecting…that had gone on between them over the past few days. But, at the same time, it wasn’t like they were dating. He had made that abundantly clear many times over.
Her mind drifted back to her big mouth the night before when she’d called him out on his reputation. What had she been thinking? She’d been kicking herself all day for being that girl.
He’d been nothing but honest with her from the very beginning. He wasn’t looking for a relationship. She was fine with that. But for a brief moment there when she’d been talking about changing one’s mind, she’d realized that she was talking about Jack and not Benjamin. She was wondering if he would ever change his mind about wanting a family.
She forced a deep breath as she pushed that memory away. It had been a momentary weakness. Still, that little slip up—that emotional snafu—was a great reminder that it was time for her to move on. With or without Benjamin.
With that in mind, she turned to face Lucia as they got on the elevator to the penthouse. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. The ‘situation’ will be over soon. I’m heading back to Italy, remember?”
“I remember,” her friend grumbled. “You’re running away.”
Holly’s jaw dropped as she saw her friend’s wicked grin. “Am not!”
Lucia rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, scaredy-cat.”
Holly pulled a baguette from the bag she was holding and swatted her friend with it.
The Accidental Boyfriend Page 13
