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Epilogue
Ever since being freed of John Smith’s tentacled grip, Genny and Timmy had strengthened their relationship. It was a secret affair at first. Timmy worried what his fellow Perfects, especially Bugs, would think of it all. Bugs still harbored resentment toward the lass. He could never trust her after believing she was at least partly responsible for past events of tragedy. He also begrudged Timmy for lying about seeing her those many months ago. To Bugs, Genny remained the last possible vessel of Smith’s influence and vengeance.
Wicketts realized this, and so he kept his budding relationship with Genny under wraps. But as time passed, their love blossomed and a proposition of marriage was made. Genny whole-heartedly accepted and they wed on a clear October morning. The only other Perfect in attendance was Francis Dinkyworth.
With the bonds now official, Timmy convinced himself it was proper and best to unveil the vows taken. In addition, he believed his wife’s skills as an actress could be a welcome addition to the cast, though she personally never pushed for such involvement. When Timmy broached the subject with a couple of the other actors, it received a warm, yet subdued response. They knew Bugs would have none of it, and they were right.
When word got to him, Harrington was besieged by temper. He felt betrayed, slighted, and put out. Despite his pleas, Timmy could not convince his friend of Genny’s sincerity. The rift that formed was simply too great, and soon thereafter, the troupe began to fall apart.
Bugs never got over the issue. He quit the company and headed back to America. He never spoke of a plan but had hopes of finding new opportunities in New York City.
Brock Bullsock departed with him, having taken a liking to a sport called football. While his injured hand kept him from competing in many types of athletic contests, he found football to be an excellent answer. His quick-footed pugilistic skills transferred quite well to a game you could only play using your feet. Brock thought the sport could take America by storm, becoming a national pastime, and he’d be in on the ground floor.
Sir Snoots McGee also felt America held promise. The Perfects had each pocketed a healthy sum of coin over their years of success, and Sir Snoots was no different. Being the avid businessman, Snoots used the money to invest in the wheel of life technology to which he had been introduced while doing the P.S.A.s. He loved the idea, and saw great potential in the product.
So, alongside his cat, Mr. Snoots—who was a parting gift of reconciliation from Lancelot due to their frequently strained relationship—Sir Snoots crossed the pond to promote what he called “movies.”
Lancelot Castletowne had used his increased public stature to benefit nonprofit causes, and chose to focus on that well-intentioned mission upon leaving the Perfects. Among the charities was a foundation he started called Wigs for the Balding Homeless. The mission of W.B.H. was to purchase and provide white, powdered wigs to the local population of balding destitutes and delinquents, many of whom had fallen so low they had sold their own locks for mere scraps.
Lancelot, having lived that life for a period of time, believed the way back to self-respect and citizenship began with a head of hair of which one could be proud. The non-profit W.B.H. served thousands of those in need, and several went on to reputable employment, due in part to their wig-fueled, renewed confidence.
After one of the last performances of Infinite Meat, Benedict Hornberger had gotten into a discussion with a visiting friend by the name of Johann. Johann had provided a musical score to accompany the play and was present to see how the whole production came across. He approved of it all with fervent endorsement.
As the two conversed, the subject of beard growth and grooming came up. Both men had ample, dense facial hair, and Johann marveled at Benedict’s beautiful, shimmering bristles. Many of the Perfects shared the same beard luster, and as the friends talked, Benedict came to realize that it was due, in no small part, to their common, pre-show ritual of sharing a dinner of beef and salad, the latter of which was dressed with olive oil and grapefruit juice. The slick concoction would be absorbed into their beards and mustaches, leaving behind an unparalleled sheen.
Discovering this, the pair believed the phenomenon was worth pursuing. When the Perfects broke ranks, Hornberger immediately began an effort to bottle and sell the coincidental elixir. Bottles of Benedict’s Beard Drippings sold like hotcakes.
While Benedict had patented a modified version of salad dressing, Smirks Puffchest, Jr. became known, once again, for his master cookery. Having been the Perfect house chef for years, when the men split ways, he tried out for a position as a dining servant to the Queen. A delightfully delicious take on sweet, glazed beet cakes won him a role, and Smirks happily cooked for the Queen for many years thereafter.
John Ladyfist returned to his first love, being a seamstress. The reputation he had hewn from his time with the Perfects erased any and all hesitation clients may have had about hiring a male gown tailor. In fact, John’s work became so highly prized, he gained international acknowledgement. This led him to Italy, where he opened a first-class boutique called The Duchess’ Secret.
Mention of The Royal Perfects was a common occurrence in printed media, but another topic was receiving equal attention—increased pirate assaults on common shipping routes. When the acting troupe disbanded, Captain Pantaloons took on the mantle of mercenary bondsmen. He used his wealth to purchase a ship of his own, which he christened The Son of the Dirtwater Puffin, and hired a worthy crew set to the mission of bringing pirates and sea rogues to justice. They acquired a number of bounties and were offered several contracts from merchants and shippers. George Thistlebeard also joined Pantaloons’ squad, and the pair embarked on countless high seas adventures.
Romeo and Francis remained joint owners of the Rhombus Theater. They continued to perform plays and even ventured into managerial roles, eventually enlisting and showcasing up-and-coming local acts of stage and music. Their experiences with the Perfects had taught them much, and they gratefully passed on this knowledge to young men and women looking to break into the field.
That left only Timmy and Genny. The blithesome newlyweds purchased a home not far from Timmy’s childhood residence in Sooty Stoops. The also acquired a second vacant property only a few blocks away, which they transformed into a prestigious acting academy. It was prestigious to the degree that both unparalleled performers taught there. They instructed anyone with a passion for the arts, regardless of class or upbringing. Many of their students couldn’t pay even the smallest amount of coin, but it was of no issue to the Wicketts. They were doing what they loved, with the one they loved, and that was all that mattered.
Such is the history of The Royal Perfects.
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A Note from the Author
It is with immense gratitude that I thank you for downloading this book. I hope you had just as much fun in the Perfects' world as I did writing about it. I also hope you gathered some measure of inspiration from young Timmy Wicketts, for I firmly believe that within every single one of us lies a source of immense talent, talent to be shared with one another, and through which great things can be made a reality.
About the Author
The Royal Perfects is the first novel-length story written by Jeremy Neeley. Mr. Neeley has always loved the art of storytelling and believes writing has the wonderful ability to not only entertain, but to motivate. He has worked for several years as a graphic designer at a Pittsburgh-based university and currently lives with his wife and two children in Clairton, Pennsylvania (otherwise known as the Sooty Stoops of Western PA).
Learn more about The Royal Perfects at
https://www.theroyalperfects.com
Sincerest thanks and gratitude to:
Taylor, Rose, Megan, Terry, Karen, Larry, Mom, and my countless friends and supporters. Each one is truly Perfect.
And to my inspirations and loves,
Amanda, Libby and Abby
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