by Rowe, Brian
“I’m such a jerk!” Nathan put his hands over his face.
“You’re not a jerk. Come over here.”
Nathan confusedly took a few steps closer to Vivien. He didn’t seem to know what to do or say.
Vivien looked down at his beautiful headshot, perfectly lit, bearing his gorgeous smile at the same time it hid the scar.
His resume was another sad beast entirely. He had some short film credits, but no TV credits. Half of his resume listed commercials, which was usually the sign of death to an actor looking to break into the film and television world.
“Nathan?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask why you haven’t pursued very much film or TV work before?”
He laughed and leaned against Vivien’s desk. “That’s all I’ve been doing, actually. For the last two years. I want to work in movies and TV, I do. My agent tries, but it’s been really difficult.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Vivien crossed her legs and clasped her hands together, trying to look as sexy as possible in her work attire.
“I’ve been tested a lot and have made it to some callbacks,” Nathan said. “I almost got a small part in a Russell Crowe movie last year, and last December I tested for a role with Ron Howard in the room.”
She nodded. “Impressive. But no luck?”
“None.”
“Why do you think that is?”
Nathan smiled at Vivien again. He seemed surprised to have a casting director chatting him up so much, especially one who wasn’t a gay male. He didn’t answer right away. He stood there, hovering over her, as if he knew at any second she would make the assumption.
She did. “Let me guess. Your scar.”
He nodded and turned away.
“It’s not that bad,” she said, even though she knew it distracted from his pretty face more than a little.
“The last doctor I went to told me it would heal with time, but it seems to have gotten worse as the years have progressed.”
“Years? How long have you had it?”
“About two years now. I fell when I was on a hike.”
“Fell? On what?”
“The sharpest rock in Los Angeles, apparently.”
Vivien shook her head and sighed. “That sucks. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s just hard, you know?”
“I know.”
“I’ve been trying to make it work. I keep feeling like I’m so close. And then it’s another rejection. And another. And another.”
“That’s the thing about this business, Nathan. Actors get beaten down so much year after year that many give up and go home. It’s the ones who truly love it and stick with it who eventually find success. How old are you? Twenty-four?”
“I’m twenty-five.”
“Twenty-five years old. You are a baby. With time, with persistence, and with luck, you will find success. I promise you.”
He stared into Vivien’s eyes, and she stared back into his. The two shared a tender silence.
Finally, Vivien looked away. “Anyway, that’s a little lesson of the day from a casting director who’s been around the block more than a few times.”
“Thank you,” he said. “It means a lot.”
Brandon poked his head in. “I think I got it. Just another minute.”
“All right, take your time,” she said. “I don’t want the rest of Nathan’s audition here to be out of focus. He’s too cute for that.”
Vivien worried the comment was too forward, but Nathan didn’t seem to mind.
From this angle, with the harsh light hitting Nathan’s chin, Vivien was able to get a closer look at the boy’s scar. It didn’t have the vibrancy and character of Harry Potter’s. This one was in the droll shape of a line, and it was diagonal, traveling from just below his lower lip on the left all the way down to the bottom of his chin on the right. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t so thick; it looked to be more than a centimeter wide.
“Have you ever thought about going to a plastic surgeon?” she asked.
His smile evaporated. He turned his gaze away from the blank wall.
Vivien stood up and walked over to Nathan, just as he turned back toward her.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s OK.”
“No, that was a stupid question. You don’t have the money for a plastic surgeon. Of course you don’t.”
He turned around and in seconds the actor and casting director were within kissing distance.
“I just need one break,” he said. “I just need one person to believe in me.”
“Do you want this part, Nathan? The role of Ryan? Do you really, really want it?”
“Ms. Slate, more than you’ll ever know.”
She studied him. She could tell he wanted the role more than oxygen, and that he would do anything to get it.
Vivien smiled big, sauntered back over to her desk, and sat down. “Nathan, do you know who the producer of this movie is?”
“No, I don’t.”
“It’s me. And as both casting director and producer, I have final say who gets this role.” She looked as proud as when she decapitated the snake.
“That’s so cool. I know you’ve been casting for like twenty years, but I had no idea that you produced movies, too.”
Vivien pursed her lips. “You’ve researched me, haven’t you?”
“I have. I know you grew up in Ellsworth, Maine. I know you are one of the most well respected casting directors in the business. And I know I will do anything, and I mean, anything, to get this part.”
Nathan had taken a 180-degree turn from a glum loser to a master manipulator. He got closer to Vivien. She didn’t stop him. He supported his arms on the desk and he leaned into her as if this moment were the end of a promising first date.
“Anything, Mr. LeMille?”
“You name it. It’s yours.”
She studied his face. Despite the scar, she found it to be the closest to perfection she had seen all day. She put her hand out and rested it on his upper chest. Nathan didn’t stop her. She took the deepest breath of her life. She thought they might even kiss.
Brandon thrust the door open. “Got it! Sorry for the delay. There’s like forty actors out there right now, just FYI.” He focused his eyes toward his camera and walked over to the tripod.
If Brandon hadn’t been looking away, he would’ve witnessed a moment of sexual tension never before seen between an actor and a casting director.
“It’s fine,” Vivien said.
She pulled Nathan close to her while Brandon’s head was still turned away. “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”
“OK.” He had a look of both excitement and fear on his face.
“Write your number on your headshot.”
He scribbled his number under his agent’s information and handed her the headshot.
Vivien moved her attention toward Brandon. “This one doesn’t need to read any more of the scene.”
“Huh?” He was still trying to get his tripod steady.
“While you were fixing the camera, I had Nathan here read for me. He’s good to go.”
“OK. I’ll get the next actor. Just one sec.”
Vivien looked at Nathan one last time. She took her right thumb and brushed it over Nathan’s scar. He didn’t push her away. Instead, he closed his eyes.
“OK, I’m ready,” Brandon said. He looked across the room and cleared his throat again, this time even louder than before.
Vivien snapped out of her hypnotic state. “Anyway, that was a very good read, Mr. LeMille. It was really nice to see you again.”
“Same to you. Thanks for the opportunity.”
He nodded at Brandon and stepped out of the audition room.
Brandon laughed as he powered up his camera. “I think someone’s got a crush.”
Vivien sat down in her chair. “Yeah? You think he’s into me?”
“I wasn’t talking about him.” He check
ed the focus on his camera and walked to the door. “You ready for the next one?”
“You betcha.”
He promptly brought in the next actor, a super tall redhead who looked like he belonged in a basketball court. She thought he was cute. But she didn’t really pay attention to his audition.
Vivien looked down at Nathan’s headshot and memorized the phone number written at the bottom.
As soon as the session reached its end, she placed a call. Nathan picked up the phone after the first ring.
-32-
He took her hand and kissed it, even before they were seated.
“Was that inappropriate?” he asked.
Vivien looked at Nathan with bewilderment. She was surprised that he had even made an appearance at the little Italian restaurant in Encino, but she was even more astonished at the way he had cleaned up. At the session earlier, he was a cutie in dirty gym shorts. Tonight, he was wearing a collared shirt with black slacks, and his hair was slicked back to reveal more of his face. Even his scar looked more refined.
She adjusted her posture and started getting lost in his smoldering blue eyes. “No. Of course not.”
“Good,” he said. “I’ll kiss it on my way out then, too.”
She tried to keep herself from giggling. “I’m just going to use the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”
“OK.”
Vivien got up from her chair and walked through the restaurant toward the tiny bathroom in the back.
A few minutes passed, and she was still applying more make-up to her face, desperately trying to look as youthful as possible. She felt relieved that she had put on a casual dress. Before she left the house an hour earlier, she had toyed with the idea of wearing more of a business suit to make the dinner with this young gentleman seem more like a meeting than a date.
She returned to the main lobby, where she found Nathan already sitting at a booth. There were two menus, two waters, and two alcoholic drinks already on the table.
“Please. Sit.”
“Wow,” she said, noticing the drinks. “You’ve already got the party started, huh?”
“You better believe it.”
She took a sip of the beverage. “Is that what I think it is?”
“I believe so,” he said with an infectious smile. “How does it taste?”
“It tastes like a Cape Cod.”
“Uh huh.”
She took another sip. “This is my favorite drink.”
“I know.” Nathan took a sip of his gin and tonic.
She waited for a response, but he wasn’t giving it to her. “How the hell did you know my favorite drink? Have you been stalking me, Nathan?”
“Close. I Googled you. You said it was your favorite drink in an interview you did back in 1997 for Movie Insiders Magazine.”
“I beg your pardon?” She couldn’t remember such an interview.
“The magazine interviewed you for a cover story about casting directors in the August ‘97 issue. It’s online. If you type your name on Google, it’s one of the first things that comes up.”
“Oh my God,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “The Internet is such a scary place, I tell you. Everything about everyone is on there.”
“Not me.”
There was a pause. He looked down.
“What do you mean?”
“My name is really specific,” Nathan said. “I mean, very few others out there have it. But you Google me, and there’s nothing.”
Vivien frowned as their waiter stepped up to the booth. “Have you two had enough time to decide?” the man asked.
“Yes,” Vivien said. “I will have the chicken picatta with the mixed veggies. Easy on the white wine sauce.”
“Nice choice.” He turned to Nathan. “And you, sir?”
“I’m trying to decide if I should be bad or not.”
Vivien handed her menu to the waiter and nodded at Nathan. “Oh, come on. Be bad.”
He smiled. “All right, I’m going to have the raviolis. Is there a small portion, or do you just have the one size?”
“We just have the one size, sir. Did you want meat or marinara sauce inside the ravioli?"
“Oh, gosh. Let’s go with meat. We like meat, right, Ms. Slate?”
“I looooooove meat.”
The waiter took their menus, his look recognizing the couple’s weirdness, before he started chatting up a party at the adjacent table.
“And call me Vivien, please,” she said. “I sound like your mother. Ms. Slate. Christ.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I offend you?”
“I already feel like a relic,” she said. “Please don’t make it any worse.”
“All right, I won’t.” Nathan laughed and adjusted himself in his seat. “So you have a son, right?”
She nodded. She didn’t want to talk about her family tonight. But she answered him, anyway. “Yes, that’s right. Gavin.”
“And then your husband…” He paused. “How long have you been married? Eighteen years?”
She brushed her hand through her hair and faked a cough. “Enough about me,” she said, wanting to change the subject as fast as possible. “Let’s talk about why I brought you here tonight.”
“Oh,” he said, taking his elbows off the table. “All right.”
“As you know, Nathan, I am producing this movie and am putting together a cast of five actors. I am looking to mix and match name actors with up-and-comers. I saw a lot of guys today for the role of Ryan. And I wanted to bring you here tonight to get to know more about you.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because you are one of the main contenders for this part.”
He looked like he wanted to scream with joy, but he kept it in. “Oh my God, I am thrilled.” Nathan’s excitement turned to confusion. “Even though I only got through half of my audition?”
“Yes.”
“Even though I ruined your assistant’s camera?”
“He’ll live.”
“I mean, I’ll audition for you again. I’ll do it right here in the restaurant if you want me to.”
Vivien laughed. She put her elbows on the table and leaned in. He took the initiative and did the same.
“No,” she said. “I could see you had potential as soon as you walked through my door. We’ll have official callbacks in the coming weeks, and you’ll be able to audition a few scenes for me then. Tonight I just want to get to know the real you.”
“Thank you, Ms. Slate.” He corrected himself quickly. “I mean, Vivien. Your believing in me means a lot. I just know I’m this character. I know I’m Ryan. From the inside, out. He’s scared and fragile and worried about his appearance and his scar. I just—trust me—I really get this guy.”
“Yeah, that’s so wild you have a scar just like the character. Seems like it was meant to be.”
“Gosh, I know! My agent was breathing down your assistant’s neck for days trying to get me in.”
Vivien grinned. “You’d be surprised but Brandon actually likes guys breathing down his neck.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” She cleared her throat. “So. Nathan. Where’d you grow up?”
The plates of food came a minute later. Her chicken picatta looked cold and runny, but she didn’t care. Tonight wasn’t so much about the food but about the friction to be taking place between two naked bodies.
As Nathan started going into an endlessly complicated story about his upbringing, Vivien stared into his eyes. He looked like he wanted to tell somebody, anybody, his life story, but no one ever bothered to listen. She took in his every word, but in the back of her mind, she was already thinking past dessert.
Tonight, you are mine.
---
As he walked her to her car, she tried to figure out what she could possibly say to seduce him back to Lila’s house.
“Thanks again for dinner,” Nathan said. “That was sweet of you.”
“Of course.”
She
searched her purse for her keys, which were buried beneath gum wrappers, business cards, and torn-up headshots. She unlocked her car and turned to Nathan. “Well, this is me. Where are you parked?”
Nathan motioned to the other side of the lot. “I’m over there.”
“Which one?”
“The Toyota 4Runner.”
“Oh. Nice.”
“Yeah, it was a Christmas present from my dad. If I can book a role in something, I might finally be able to pay him back.”
Awkward silence ensued. Vivien wasn’t sure if she should open her car door and forget this night ever happened or wrap her arms around the boy and go in for the kill. She tilted her head down and moved toward her car.
Nathan took a step forward. “Wait! Before you go!” He lifted up her right hand and kissed it softly. “As promised.”
Vivien took a deep breath. “You’re quite something, you know that?”
He smiled. “Well, thanks again, Vivien. For everything. I await the callback.”
He started walking away. In seconds he would be gone.
“Wait!” she called out.
He turned around, his hands wedged in his pockets. “Yes?”
“What are you doing right now?”
He didn’t answer right away. “I’m sorry?”
She tried to think of a delicate way to put it. She tried to think of a weird reason or excuse or gesture. She had nothing. “I was just wondering if you wanted to come back over to my place?”
The joy that had been present all over Nathan’s face that evening started to drain away. He bowed his head and walked closer to her. “What for, exactly?”
She started to feel shy, as if she were fourteen again, trying to ask the cute eighth grader Thomas Reilly out on a date. “I enjoy your company, Nathan. Do you enjoy mine?”
“Of course I do.”
“So.” She leaned her head toward his. This wasn’t a question. This was an order. “You want to come over?”
She could tell he was mulling over his next few words carefully. “Yes,” he said. “I would love to.”
---
Lila’s home was pitch black when they arrived. As she guided Nathan in through the side door, she glanced to her right to see Gavin’s door closed but with some music blaring from inside. On any other night, she would’ve investigated to make sure that little bitch Kendyll wasn’t in there with him. But tonight, she had her own priorities.
