I walked back to his room where he had disappeared to, and sat on his bed as he rummaged through his closet. He was pushing the hangers excessively hard while he looked for something to wear.
"I'm sorry." I said in a cracked whisper.
He froze and dropped his head with his back still to me. "I know if something happens to you…and I can't save you for some reason, that it will be my fault. But I've built up so much hatred for your God that I can't do it." When he turned to me, he had tears in his eyes; he didn't turn away from me this time. "I want to…for you, but I can't. How does a God, that's supposedly so good, hold you to a deal like that when you were tricked? Answer me that."
"It wasn't made through God. I made the deal with your guardian angel. The main guardians are holding me to that deal. They aren't so lenient."
"And God is? I was thirteen, Kendra…thirteen when I lost my whole…damn…family." He crumbled to his knees in front of me. My hand went to my mouth and I touched his shoulder with my other one. He didn't pull away from me, so I dropped to the floor and hugged him tight. He grabbed a hold of me and sobbed.
"I'm sorry, Adam. I'm just trying to figure this out. I won't bring it up again. Can we still have a good night?"
He pulled back and blew a big gush of air out through his lips. He wasn't looking at me, but I hadn't expected him to. He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah…we can have a good night." I regretted ever bring it up, and I would give anything to wipe that sad look off his face.
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Chapter Forty-three
We arrived at The Villa. I'd suffered most of the ride in silence. Adam didn't look angry anymore, but I could still see the sadness in his features. It looked like he was finally realizing that he might not be able to save me when the time came. I hated that I'd even brought it up, because I didn't know how to make him smile again. I didn't know what to say to make things better between us.
We got right in, but I wasn't surprised, Friday and Saturday nights were the busiest nights for The Villa, and it was only Thursday. The hostess seated us, then Adam ordered my favorite White Zen.
He surprised me when he spoke, but any conversation was good conversation right now. "Do you have any siblings?"
I nodded. "Haley is thirty-three. She's married to Mike Lebrowski. He's an architect here in town and he's considered to be one of the best. They have two children, Shelby and Brenden." His facial features relaxed a bit. Good.
"I know Mike. One of his employees took a nasty fall last year. Mike was at the trauma center with him the whole time. He's a good guy." I wanted to say that he'd said the same thing about Mason, but I didn't. I knew Mike was a good guy.
"Yeah, he is. He treats my sister and those kids like they're his whole world," I said, then took my glass of wine from the waitress. I ordered the lasagna with meat sauce, and fettuccini alfredo. Adam ordered the same. I didn't know if that was what he would have ordered if I hadn't gone first. If we ate anywhere else before I died, I would insist he order first. I shook my head. I didn't know why I was fixated on the coincidences in our tastes and preferences, but I just thought it was neat that we did everything the same way.
"That's how I feel about you. You are my world now, Kendra. I know how Mike feels and I can relate to that," he said then took a sip of wine.
If anyone had said that to me only a week ago, I would have bolted from the room. But sitting across the table from Adam, I found that I could relate to that as well. Adam was my world now, and that made me happy; I wanted to make him happy.
We got our meals, but we were actually doing more talking than eating. He wanted to know all about photography and my life. I could talk about photography, but when it came to talking about me, I drew a blank. Have you ever tried talking about yourself? He asked a few questions and we fell into a natural conversation.
I asked him about the worst cases he'd encountered in surgery. His eyes lit up as he spoke about some of them. I realized he actually loved what he did. It was a good thing I didn't have a weak stomach, because he didn't spare any of the bloody details.
When I talked, I noticed that he looked at me with a sort of fascination. I had succeeded in wiping that sad look off his face. Hal-le-lu-jah.
"Can you try to avoid making him sad again? His thoughts are really dispirited when he's like that. It's easier for Murry to gain control of him that way." Rhyan said, and I smiled.
"I won't bring it up again. You knew I had to learn my lesson the hard way,"
When Adam asked for the check I got nervous again. I closed my eyes as my stomach did a little roll.
"Cheer up, Kendra. If your dad kills you, it means you get to come to heaven with me." I laughed, despite the nervous bugs in my tummy.
Adam raised an eyebrow at me. "I miss something?"
I shook my head. "Rhyan was trying to help by making me less nervous about you meeting my parents."
His other eyebrow went up and did a high-five with the one that was already raised. "And how does Rhyan feel about me proposing?" Adam's head shot up instantly, like he was listening to something in his head, and was surprised to hear it. I saw him nod then shake his head like he was clearing his mind.
He wasn't upset so I asked. "What did he say?"
He shook his head and laughed lightly. "It freaks me out when he does that." He cleared his throat. "He said, as long as I'm treating you right and keeping you happy, he's fine with it." he frowned. "Does he do that to you all the time?"
I rolled my eyes and nodded. "All the time,"
"Awe, Kendra, you act as if you don't like my company."
I laughed. "You know I do. I was only trying to keep Adam from getting jealous."
"Understood," he said, then he was silent after that.
Adam was still frowning when he stood up, but he didn't say anything more about Rhyan talking to me. I was sure it bothered him because he had saw, with his own eyes, Rhyan and I going at it all hot and heavy. I assumed he and Murry left before Rhyan got the good news that we weren't allowed to touch each other. Would telling him that we didn't have sex make him feel better, or would he think I was lying to him?
"I already told him that we didn't have sex, Kendra. Let it go." I nodded, then stood when Adam offered me his hand.
I was physically shaking when we got in the car. He looked at me with concern in his brown eyes. I did notice that they were a whole lot lighter than they had been only this morning. They were sort of a caramel color and very beautiful. He took my wrist in his hand and checked my pulse. "Are you going to be sick? I won't make you do this if it's not what you want to do."
"I'll be fine." I had a thought. "What if you meet my family a few times before you ask to marry me, let them get to know you first? I know they will love you, and my mom would be ecstatic with you asking permission tonight. She wants me married with children so bad she can hardly see straight. My sister will think I'm jumping into things and that our marriage won't last. My dad…my dad is another story all together. He doesn't care if I ever get married. He isn't against it, but he thinks I should be with Aven. He hasn't ever said it outright, but I know how close the two of them are. Aven goes fishing and hunting with my dad, they talk cars and baseball. It will take a while to convince him that you're the right man for me. That won't happen tonight; I can promise you that."
Adam sighed as he started the engine. "All right, I'll only introduce myself tonight." He looked at me and I was smiling at him. "Do you feel better?"
"Much better."
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Chapter Forty-four
When we pulled up at my parent's house, my heart jumped up in my throat. "Adam, I think we need to do this some other time."
The car came to a stop in front of the house and he turned and looked at me. "What's wrong now?" he asked, with confusion written all over that beautiful face of his.
I couldn't think of a good enough lie to tell him so I huffed and settled for the truth. "Aven is here."
&n
bsp; He shrugged. "So…I never got a chance to thank him for getting me out of that cave."
How did I explain this to him? "Aven was to me like Sherri was to you. We have been seeing each other intimately for a little over a year now, but it was casual, nothing serious." I took a breath. "It was Aven who called me Monday when you were at my house. He wanted to make things more than casual with me. When I almost died the other day, it made him realize that he wanted us to be more than friends with benefits."
Adam closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingers. He looked at me and shook his head. "You want to hide our relationship?"
I thought about it a moment. I didn't want to. I wanted to let the whole world know that I was in love with the man beside me, but a little at a time. I wasn't sure how two very important people in my life would react. If I didn't do it tonight, and I died tomorrow, then I wouldn't have to do it at all. I'm a coward, I know.
I looked at him. He had told Sherri that he was in love with me, and I had told him that I would do anything for him. Yet, here he sat, looking like he was being rejected, like I was too embarrassed to introduce him to my family, like he wasn't good enough for me. "No, we can do this now. I'm acting like a coward, and I'm sorry for that."
He smiled a little. "A coward is someone who runs from a challenge, Kendra. You are far from being a coward."
If he only knew how bad I wanted to run that moment, he wouldn't think so highly of me. He pulled in the drive and cut off the engine. I could see there was a ball game on my parent's big screen through the picture window. I'd grown up in that house and could remember very clearly breaking that window with a baseball when I was ten. It was the same year that Adam lost his whole family. Back then, I didn't even know Adam and was only worried that my dad would be mad when he saw that broken window. He hadn't been angry. I sighed and got out of the car.
Adam took my hand and led me to the door. I was shaking again, and he squeezed my hand for reassurance. I gave him my best fake smile then walked in the door.
"Mom?" I shouted.
"In here, honey!" she shouted from the kitchen. I glanced in the living room. My dad and Aven were watching a baseball game on T.V. It was probably a rerun, or we were losing, because they weren't all excited like they usually were when a game was on. Aven looked back at me with a grim look then glanced at Adam. His expression didn't change before he looked back at the screen. I sighed and walked to the kitchen where my mother was.
She met me with a big hug then looked at Adam. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh…" She glanced back at me, her face about to split in two with extreme happiness.
"Mama, this is Adam Chamberlain. He's the surgeon who saved my life a week ago." I looked at Adam. "This is my mother, Diane Larkin."
He shook her hand with a genuine smile on his face. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Larkin."
She was flustered, and I could tell instantly that she liked him. "Oh, call me Diane. Kendra hasn't ever brought anyone home to meet us before. I was beginning to think she was embarrassed by us."
"No, only dad," I said as I munched on one of the chocolate chip cookies my mother had just taken from the oven. She smiled.
"Well, I'm very happy she decided to bring you to meet us." she looked at me a little nervously. "Your dad and Aven are in the living room. Shall we introduce Adam?"
I knew what she was thinking. I think my mother suspected Aven's feelings for me long before I had. Why hadn't anyone told me? I nodded. "If we must."
We passed Aven in the hallway. He was going to the kitchen to get my dad and himself another beer, no doubt. He gave me a cold look but I ignored it and walked into the living room.
"Dad,"
"You sorry son of a bitch! I could have hit that damn ball, and I'm half blind," my dad said to the t.v.
I rolled my eyes. "Daddy." I said a little louder and he looked around at me, startled. Then he caught sight of Adam.
He got to his feet and extended his hand. "I'm sorry," he said as he shook Adam's hand. "You check out fine at the hospital the other day?"
Adam nodded and smiled at my father. "Everything was fine." He looked around as Aven walked back into the room. "I'd like to thank you both for getting me out of that cave."
Aven handed the second beer to my dad, then went to the couch and sat down. He spoke to Adam without looking at him. "Kendra was the one who said you were in a cave. You should be thanking her."
"I have." Adam said.
Aven mumbled something, and it sounded a whole lot like, "I'm sure you have."
"This was a bad idea, Adam. Can we go now?" I said.
He looked back at Aven where he was planted on the couch ignoring us. "No…no, I think Aven here has something he needs to get off his chest. Am I right, Aven?"
Aven tensed then looked back at Adam with fury in his eyes. Oh God, please don't let them fight. Aven was notorious for starting shit, and my dad had seemed friendly enough, but I didn't know whose side he would take.
Aven picked up a cup and spit in it. He'd been dipping since we were in Junior High. It was a nasty habit, but it was his nasty habit, not mine, so I left it alone. He was just never allowed to kiss me until he'd brushed his teeth. He glanced at me. "Do you have time to talk to me now?"
I so did not want to do this tonight, but if talking to him would keep him from fighting with Adam, then I was all for it. "Sure, why not?" I looked at Adam. "Will you be all right for a few minutes?" he nodded, and I looked at my dad. "Try not to scare him too bad, will ya, Dad?"
He shrugged. "Gotta see if he's man enough to date my baby girl, don't I?"
"No, really you don't. C'mon Aven, let's go out back." He stood and kept eye contact with Adam the whole time as he walked slowly by him.
"What the hell was all that about?" I asked, in a firm tone, after he'd closed the back door and we were alone.
He spit his dip out into one of my mother's flowerbeds then took a big drink of beer before looking at me. "Like your dad said, just trying to see if he's man enough to date you."
"It isn't your place or my dad's to make that decision, it's mine. I thought you were better than this, but you're acting like a sixteen year old boy whose girlfriend was taken away from him by another guy."
"You were!" he shouted at me. "I may not be sixteen, but I figured that I'd be the one you eventually got serious with, Kendra."
"You were just like me. You never wanted anything serious, so don't give me that bullshit."
"I did with you, but I knew it would scare you away if I said anything about it. Now you get serious with some guy you've known for less than a week? You bring him home to meet your folks? We've known each other since grade school; I've loved you since Junior High."
My eyes got wide. That was a shocker. "You never acted like you were jealous of me dating anyone else."
"Because I knew you didn't want anything serious. I had to wait for you to change your mind before I could make my move. I picked your limp body up off the ground and I knew I couldn't wait any longer to let you know how I feel about you. Don't do this to me." He stepped forward, and I took a step back. He stopped and stared at me. "You're really in love with him, aren't you?"
"It isn't that simple, Aven."
"Either you are, or you aren't. How complicated is that?" he said.
I didn't say anything for a long while. I knew this night was going to turn out rotten. I finally looked back at him. "I love him, Aven." There, I'd said it. It was going to come out sooner or later. I'd said it last night at the hospital, but I was betting Aven thought I only said it so my parents would let me leave.
His face fell as he stared at me. "Please tell me it's not true."
I nodded. "It is…I didn't plan for it to happen. It was already planned for me." I pleaded with him to understand, but there was no way that he could. He was not going to understand anything right now.
"WHAT THE FUCK EVER!" he shouted as he kicked one of my mother's flower pots off the back porch
then stormed through the back door.
I stood there for a moment, shocked by his outburst. Then, I thought he might try to start something with Adam, so I went through the back door after him. I heard his truck start outside, then his tires peeled out on the street as he drove off.
My mother came rushing to me. "I'm all right, Mom; I'm all right." She wrapped me in a big hug and rubbed my back.
"I can't believe you didn't know how he felt about you, honey. He didn't try to hide it."
I shook my head. "I guess I just didn't want to see it."
She pulled back and gave me a smile. "Is this guy special?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, he's special."
"Well, he is very nice, and really, really good looking. The two of you will make very beautiful children."
"Mom, please…you wouldn't have a problem with me marrying him tomorrow, would you?"
"Of course not, dear. I only want you to be happy, and I want you to have children before I'm too old to play with them." Her smile faltered a little. "Are you getting married tomorrow?"
I rolled my eyes. "If it were up to Adam we would be, but it isn't, so no."
She frowned and followed me back to the living room. I walked in, but Adam and my dad weren't there.
"They're outside. Your father wanted to look at Adam's car." I should have known.
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Chapter Forty-five
My mother and I walked outside to join the men. I shot a questioning look at Adam, but he was too busy talking Car and Driver with my dad to notice. The hood was raised and my dad was looking at the engine like a kid in a candy store. I swear there was drool at the corners of his mouth. I knew how he felt, because I'd looked at that car the same way when I'd first seen it. Adam hadn't been as enthusiastic then as he was now. I could tell he loved this car with a mad passion. I smiled to myself, because I had seen an even more passionate look in those eyes earlier today.
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