by Nicola May
Being honest, she admitted to herself that she had never, ever felt truly happy. Wasn’t even sure what she was looking for to make her so. Money really held no value to her. Men ditto: the only use for men was to satisfy her need for being held and for sex. But, at the moment, Rosa told herself with some surprise, she was all right. She loved the beach and the elements. Loved her new little home and the excitement of running her own business.
Once on the beach, she wound her scarf up around her mouth: it hadn’t seemed so cold with the shelter of the terraced houses along the narrow streets. The stars lit the midnight sky and the waves crashed hypnotically on the shore. Apart from that, the night air was still and silent; even the gulls had gone to their clifftop beds until morning.
Letting Hot off his lead for a quick run-around, she looked back to the Ship. It was in complete darkness, aside from a front-bedroom light. Quite early for a Friday night for it to be shut, she thought. But then again it was mid-January and freezing cold. She would go back in there one day, she decided, but not just yet. She hadn’t heard a word from Luke, but then why would she? They had both got what they wanted - an hour of no-strings-attached, pure unadulterated lust. However, Rosa did have flashbacks to that moment, as it had been bloody good - and despite what he had done, she did fancy the pants off of him.
It had all gone very quiet about the hit-and-run too - well, apart from Joe seemingly making his own inquiries. Luke had to be guilty, although his drink-driving story had seemed plausible. Her supervisor at the pound shop had always used to say, in his rich, northern accent, ‘The truth will out.’ Only time would tell, Rosa thought, as she certainly wasn’t going to say a word. Just recalling her awful time working at that shop made her realise again how lucky she was. To be able to choose to work part-time at the moment was like a dream come true.
She suddenly realised that she hadn’t heard from Josh in a while. She looked at her phone. It had been a whole week. So unlike him not to send her a text every other day at least. It was late on a Friday, but she guessed he would still be up. Smiling as she prepared a cheeky opening gambit, her face fell on being met with the empty sound of his answerphone.
She was just about to call Hot and go home, when she noticed a lone figure slumped on the bench at the top of the beach. Strange, at this time of night. With Hot by her side, she started to walk back towards it. Flashing her torch towards the bench, she saw that the figure had knees to chest and their head in their hands. And as she got closer she could hear muffled sobs.
The tiny figure was just wearing a skirt, thick tights and a jumper. No coat or scarf.
‘Titch? Is that you?’
The girl made an opening between her fingers to see who it was as Hot began to jump up at her, barking.
‘Ssh, Hot, come now.’ Rosa put him on his lead and shortened it.
‘Rose? What are you doing down here at this time of night?’
‘I could ask the same thing of you. What’s the matter – what’s happened?’
‘I’m a bit drunk.’
‘Well, that’s not a crime, is it, nor is it a reason to be sitting out here sobbing and freezing to death. Look, how about you borrow my coat for a bit and I walk you home.’
On saying that, Rosa realised she actually had no idea where Titch lived. In fact, she knew nothing about her apart from the fact that she worked in the pub and the coffee shop, and Seb Watkins thought she had great tits.
Titch started to cry again. ‘That’s the whole point. I have nowhere to go and Sheila Hannafore has fired me as I was drinking on duty.’
Rosa clumsily held her in her arms. She was no good at showing or giving emotion. In a situation like this, her practicality kicked in instead.
‘Right, get this on you.’ She took off her bomber-jacket. ‘Come up to mine, I’ve got either hot coffee or cold JD – either one will sort you out.’
‘Who’s that, calling you this late on a Friday night?’
‘Er . . . just one of the lads, pissed up at his brother’s stag do,’ Josh called through from the bathroom. Lucy propped herself up provocatively on a pillow and arranged her long, blonde hair so that it flowed all over it.
‘Well, turn it off now and get back in bed, big boy. I’ve got a surprise for you.’
Josh appeared in the doorway and smiled. ‘Have you now.’
Lucy looked hot, Lucy was hot, but as he made love to her all he could think about was Rosa’s missed call and whether she was OK.
CHAPTER 24
Rosa could deal with most things, but vomit wasn’t one of them. As Titch threw up the contents of the Ship Inn’s bar, the best she could do was take in a pint of fresh water and a towel. She recalled how Josh would always hold her hair away from her face and rub her back when she had been sick before, but there was no way she could get within ten feet of Titch. At least her elfin crop was a saving grace.
She turned the heating back on and checked to see what Hot was up to. He had crashed out on the bed, where she’d put him, and was whiffling softly in his sleep, worn out after his play-date. She dug out the spare duvet and pillow that Josh had brought and put them on the old sofa. If Titch was sick again in the night, it probably wouldn’t even show.
Titch appeared looking very white and a little sheepish.
‘That’s better,’ she said weakly.
‘Good.’ Rosa handed her more water ‘Here. Now drink this and wrap that duvet around you.’
‘I’m sorry, Rose.’
‘Rosa.’
‘I don’t know why, but I can’t stop calling you Rose. It’s stuck in my head.’
Rosa laughed. ‘It’s fine. I’ve been called a lot worse, I can assure you. And don’t say sorry - we’ve all been there.’
‘But I hardly know you.’
‘I’ve just seen the inside of your stomach, so we’re doing OK.’
Titch smiled with trembling lips and took a gulp of water. She then started to talk.
‘I’m probably not as old as you think I am.’
‘OK.’ Rosa had learnt that sometimes it was best to stay silent and let somebody talk rather than butt in. As it happened, she was quite keen to find out more about Titch, since she secretly saw a lot of herself in the girl.
‘I’m eighteen, which makes the whole thing a lot, lot worse.’
‘Makes what worse?’
‘I’m bloody pregnant.’ Titch closed her eyes. ‘And now I’ve told you. So that’s two people apart from me who know.’
‘And that’s how it will stay, unless you tell me otherwise.’
‘Do you mean that, Rosa?’
‘Look, Titch, I’ve had a lot of shit happen to me too. I see no point in bloody gossip. I’ve got better things to do with my life.’
Titch began to cry again. Rosa brought her some soft loo paper and sat back down next to her, as the young girl blew her nose noisily.
‘Promise me, Rosa, you won’t say a word?’
‘Look, Titch, either trust me or fuck off - and I mean that.’
‘OK, I’m going.’ Titch shakily stood up, then promptly sat down again. ‘I don’t even know who the father is.’
‘Shit.’
‘It could be one of two blokes I slept with on the same night.’
‘And do you know them?’
‘Of course I bloody know them,’ she reared up. ‘I’m not that much of a slut.’
‘Do I know them?’
Titch laid her head back on the sofa. ‘I don’t want to say.’
‘OK, OK, but bloody hell, Titch. Who is the other person you have told already?’
‘Just my mum. She went crazy, has chucked me out - said I was a complete disgrace and that she didn’t want me anywhere near her. That I’d ruined my life and she didn’t think that she could bear the gossip that would ensue. So, I just left the house, went to the pub and got drunk, and the rest is history.’
‘Titch, you really should be on the Pill.’
‘Hark at Mother Teresa here. I am on the ruddy Pill.’
‘Well, have you done more than one test, then? Maybe you’re wrong. The Pill rarely fails.’
‘Hmm. I sometimes forget to take it.’
‘Oh, Titch.’
‘I know. Tell me about it.’
‘You have options, and the fact you just got so drunk makes me wonder: do you
really want this baby?’
‘That’s harsh, Rosa.’
‘That’s reality, Titch. My mum was a drinker who couldn’t cope, so I was
brought up in care. It wasn’t much fun, I can tell you.’
‘Bloody hell.’
‘Would your dad be easier to talk to?’
‘He’s dead. It’s just Mum and me.’
‘OK. I can see why she had that reaction then.’
‘Can you really, Rosa? I don’t think so. You see, Ronnie - that was my younger
brother - he died too. Fell off a cliff. Mum’s convinced it was an accident – that he slid off
his bike. I know different. You see, I found the suicide note he wrote and hid it from her.’ Titch’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I couldn’t keep it to myself. Stupidly, I showed Dad - and the next day he was found hanging in the garage. Now, the only child Mum has left is not only responsible for her father’s death, but she’s also pregnant with a bastard child.’
‘Fuck me. You’ve trumped my sorry tale.’ Rosa managed a weak smile. ‘You poor cow - and as for your mum, that’s terrible. But you can’t blame yourself for your dad taking his own life. How could you have kept that all to yourself? You can only have been a kid.’
‘He would still be here now if I’d kept my mouth shut.’ Titch gave a howl of grief.
‘You don’t know that.’ Rosa put her hand uncomfortably on Titch’s heaving back.
‘You have to get on though, don’t you?’ Titch choked. ‘You get one shot at this thing called life. And at least Mum can die still believing that her son died of an accident and doesn’t hold the guilt of him committing suicide and thinking she could have helped him.’
‘But you’ve had to hold all of that big secret – and that’s hard, Titch.’
‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that.’ The girl blew her nose.
‘I hear you, but it’s still shit. The pair of us need to stop putting on brave faces, I reckon.’
The youngster rubbed her eyes and yawned. ‘I don’t want to talk about it any more. Are you sure you’re OK for me to stay here?’
‘Of course. And maybe go and see Sheila tomorrow, apologise and say it won’t happen again.’
‘No, she can piss off, the miserable old cow.’
Rosa sighed. ‘Look, things never seem as bad in the morning. Let’s have another chat then. And Titch?’
Titch nodded as Rosa got up and turned out the light. ‘I will help you as much as I can.’
CHAPTER 25
Rosa was awoken on Saturday morning by her mobile ringing next to her. Without even looking to see who it was, she said a very sleepy, ‘Hello.’
‘Blimey, you sound rough, girl.’
‘What bloody time do you call this to ring me?’
‘Rosa, it’s ten-thirty. I’m up and ready for rugby practice.’
‘Well, bully for you. I didn’t go to bed until around three.’
‘Ah, thought you must have been drunk when you called me.’
‘Actually, I wasn’t. I’d been working in the pub and . . .’ Just then, Titch appeared in the bedroom doorway. ‘Hang on a minute, Josh.’ Rosa put the phone against her chest. ‘Put the kettle on, I won’t be a sec.’ Titch nodded and made her way to the kitchen.
‘Sorry about that,’ Rosa apologised.
‘Rosa, have you got a man in? You have, haven’t you?’
‘I wish. No, it’s Titch from the Ship. She popped in last night and we had a drink and a chat, and she ended up crashing.’
‘That’s good. You need to make some friends. Was she wearing just a few clothes like before?’ Josh said in a leering voice.
‘I refuse to answer that on the grounds of sexual discrimination.’
Josh laughed.
‘Anyway, you all right?’ Rosa wanted to know. ‘You haven’t been bugging me like
usual.’
‘Yes, all good. Work’s been busy. Rugby in full swing.’
‘No ladies floating your boat then?’
‘How’s Hot?’
‘I take that as a yes then. Well, good, it’s about time someone made an honest man out of you. However, I doubt if they have the Rosalar Larkin BJ skills. ‘
‘I . . . er . . .’
‘Anyway, whatever, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.’ Rosa became animated. ‘Things are good this end. I am down to my last bunch of cash, but the pub money will see me through until I open.’
‘That all sounds brilliant. See - you can do things when you put your mind to them. Have you set a date yet for the grand opening?’
‘No. I need to suss out how much room all the stuff I’ve ordered takes up and go from there, I reckon.’
‘OK. Well, keep me posted and I’ll come down, like I said. Right, I’ve got to get to rugby. Give Hot a tummy tickle from me.’
‘And give your new bird a tummy tickle from me.’
‘Rosa, really. Catch up soon, eh?’
Rosa found Titch in the kitchen pouring boiling water into two mugs.
‘Sexy Josh, right?’
‘He’s just a mate.’
‘Really? Well, I would.’
‘I hear you nearly did, New Year’s Eve.’
‘Oh, God. I’m sorry, Rosa, I was out of it. Kissed half the bay, I reckon. Maybe this will slow me down now.’
‘I don’t know why you are apologising. Anyway, how are you feeling?’
‘Like shit, been sick again already. I don’t know if it’s the baby or the alcohol. Anyway, I’ve got to go, I’m working at the café. And Rose?’
‘Yep.’
‘I know it’s a big ask, but could I stay here again tonight, just until I sort out what I am going to do?’
‘Yes, that’s fine, but maybe call your mum later - she may have calmed down by now.’
‘Hmm. I doubt it. She makes Mount Vesuvius out of a mole hill.’
Once Titch had gone, Rosa did a few chores to get the flat back in order, then sat on the sofa. Titch’s story really put life into perspective. There was always somebody worse off than yourself. That’s why it was important never to judge a book by its cover.
Rosa glanced down at her phone. Josh had sent her a Have a good day text. She couldn’t quite understand the niggling feeling she had, thinking of him with another woman. Surely it couldn’t be jealousy.
CHAPTER 26
Having missed the first bus out of Cockleberry to Polhampton, Rosa was late and not in the best of moods. Titch’s one-night stay had turned into five, and there had been no mention of buying any food or offering to do any chores. She really would have to talk to her when she got back as it wasn’t ideal, her sleeping on the sofa either.
Saying no would have to move higher on the agenda if this business was to be a success. When Joe had called out of the blue that morning, common-sense had nagged that she didn’t really have time to go over to Polhampton and meet him today. However, with his contacts, she knew that he would be a great help. And she did need a kick-start with regards to the launch day.
But why could Joe not just have met her at the Corner Shop? He’d surely have a car and it would have been so much easier for him. All the same, she felt strangely excited at the thought of seeing him again. She looked up to double-check she was at the right pub, and then taking a deep breath, she straightened her skirt over her knees and pushed open the glass door.
Joe was at the bar, talking to a couple of surf-type dudes as she approached him. He immediately said his goodbyes and g
reeted her with a kiss on both cheeks.
‘How very PR, sweetie,’ Rosa grinned.
He looked her up and down. ‘Look at you, dressing up for me,’ he teased her back.
‘When you get to know me, you’ll realise I dress up for no man, Joe. Anyway, how are you doing?’ She loved his horn-rimmed glasses and trendy blond quiff.
‘Needing a drink, that’s how I’m doing. Here.’ He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to a booth which overlooked the magnificent bay.
Rosa took off her coat and placed it along the back of the seat, noting, ‘It’s quite busy in here for a January lunchtime.’
‘Yes, Polhampton is full of the have-and-have-yachts crowd. There are lots of weekend homes for posh City types, plus many have retired down here. This place has got it spot-on for brunches, lunches and an esteemed dinner menu, all year round. They pride themselves on local produce too, which always helps. But enough of that. What can I get you, missy?’
‘I know it’s lunchtime, but sod it, a glass of red, please.’
Rosa was faced with a breath-taking view. Cockleberry had a beautiful beach, but this bay was something else, with its endless stretch of sand and crashing breakers. She could see why Jacob and Raffaele had bought a place here.
She noticed the gulls gliding between the imposing cliffs, using their wings to balance themselves on the winter winds. A couple of dog walkers braved the elements. She noticed their furry friends were coatless, which was encouraging.
Test one passed as Joe came back with a large glass of wine, without prompting. Rosa couldn’t abide meanness. He placed it on the table with his pint of local ale.
‘Thank you, and I’m sorry for being late,’ she told him. ‘I didn’t realise the bus would stop at every village it drove through.’
