by Clara James
“What do you think was going on?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “because you won’t tell me.”
“Hmm,” she nodded. “So, what do you want to know?” she offered, the rush of adrenaline making her slightly more abrasive than she meant to appear.
“Are you all right?” Reece asked simply.
“Yes,” she replied, curtly.
“And clearly you don’t want to talk about it,” he added for her. “So, that’s all I need to know.”
“Good,” she stated, pushing herself away from the door.
The truth was Reece didn’t quite know what to make of the situation. He’d initially figured that Allie was in trouble. However, her unwillingness to discuss it, coupled with the fact that she seemed perfectly civil to the guy who left, made him wonder if he’d read the scene wrong. She’d made no secret of the fact that she’d seen a number of men in the previous weeks, and although that bothered him, he understood her craving for the things she felt she’d missed out on. Of course, he didn’t entirely agree with the notion himself, but he’d accepted that it was her choice.
It didn’t take a genius, therefore, to work out that the guy in her apartment was one of the men she’d been involved with during that time, or maybe one who wanted to be involved with her. Was she regretting her choice to be with him in the last few months of her life? Was she still harboring a desire for casual sex with men she’d turned down in the past? Those were question he didn’t dare ask her, because he was frightened of the answer.
Meanwhile, Allie was still staring at him, as though she was waiting for something. She noticed in the hallway that he smelled clean; he’d obviously taken a shower while back at his home. He was also wearing clean clothes: a plain black T-shirt with light blue jeans and a pair of Nike running shoes.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Like what?” she replied, jerking one shoulder dismissively.
“Like you’re mad at me,” he responded.
“Just wondering where you’ve been,” she offered calmly.
“Home,” he stated, pointing at the bag behind her. “I told you I wouldn’t be long. You’re not seriously still upset about that are you?”
Allie opened her mouth to say, ‘yes’, but something stopped her. How would it end? If she started a fight with him now, where would it lead? There was only one possibility, they’d argue, he’d leave, and then he’d spend the next few months making awkward calls to make sure she was okay, until she wasn’t okay any more. “No,” she quietly said, her lips barely moving. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she told him. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she added, the words spoken more to herself than to him.
“Yeah,” he nodded, although he didn’t smile as he agreed. “You’re right, I guess it doesn’t.” As he echoed her sentiment, his mind was on something very different; the man who had just left. Did it matter that he wanted Allie? Did it matter if Allie wanted him? Did it even matter if she’d slept with him that night? Given the number of times they’d made love over the preceding five days, Reece felt it highly unlikely that she’d have the energy or inclination to have sex again. However, how much about her did he really know now? The young woman he fell in love with, would never have entertained the notion of a one night stand. But did any of that matter? No, he concluded. It didn’t. All that mattered was spending every moment he could with her, before it was too late.
“So,” Allie sighed. “What do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know about you,” he responded softly. “But I’m pretty tired.”
Silently, Allie nodded. Stepping forward, she offered her open palm to Reece. He glanced down at the soft, pale fingers, before slipping his own between them. With a sleepy smile, Allie tipped her head towards the bedroom and tugged her behind him. This time, as they slipped into bed, thoughts of lust were far from either of their minds. Without a word, they both slipped off their clothes and climbed into bed. Curling up together, the pair fell asleep almost as soon as their heads hit the pillow.
CHAPTER FIVE
DATE NIGHT
They passed the next three days in a morose haze. Reece couldn’t quite shake the thought of Patrick with Allie and Allie was constantly brooding over the woman she felt sure was the love of Reece’s life. They made love just twice over those days; once it was a wild and angry passion that swept them both up. The second time, Reece was settled on the bed, with Allie sitting on his lap. They remained that way, joined but barely moving for hours. They didn’t talk, but exchanged looks and kisses, each trying to express something that they could not explain with words. It was a highly charged and emotional period of time that caused Allie to sob uncontrollable tears. Reece hadn’t been sure what those tears were for; because she was sick, because she missed Patrick, because she wanted something more?
Allie, on the other hand, could feel that Reece was distant. His body was with her, and God knows she loved his body, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. And while it was, she couldn’t help but wonder whether he was having second thoughts about the doomed relationship they were embarking on.
Eventually, something had to give. “Hey,” Reece said as he wandered into the living room and scooped Allie’s feet up from the couch. Sitting where her legs had been, he draped them over his lap before continuing. “I’ve been thinking,” he sighed, “maybe we could go out?”
“You want to?” Allie wondered, sprawled flat out on the couch. Propping her head up on her hand, she peered at him. “Getting bored?” she asked.
“No,” he replied, good-naturedly shaking his head. “It’s just that we’ve hit a bit of a funk, and I wondered if getting out of the apartment would do us both good.”
Her bottom lip pouting in thought, her eyes drifted to the carpet, as she began to nod her agreement. “Yeah, it might,” she echoed. “What have you got in mind?”
“Nothing too crazy,” he assured her with a grin. “Just some dinner or something. A movie?” he suggested, hopefully.
Still wearing her thoughtful expression, Allie pushed herself up, drawing her legs away from Reece until only her feet rested on his lap. “Dinner sounds good,” she smiled, resting her arm on the back of the couch. “Do you know anywhere good?” she asked.
Reece picked up on the hint of challenge in her voice, and smiled. “A few places spring to mind,” he hummed. “You still like Italian?”
“Love it,” she responded.
“All right,” he suddenly said, carefully lifting her feet, before jumping to his own. Tugging his cell phone from the pocket of his jeans, his eyes focused on the screen as his thumb flew quickly over it. “I’ll book somewhere,” he told her.
***
Later that night, Allie found herself wined and dined at a romantic spot on Jefferson Street. Throughout the meal, it was almost like old times; they both managed to talk animatedly, even arguing over which of them won a game of cards nine years previously.
“You think you won,” Reece told her, “because you were fiddling the scores.”
“Are you accusing me of cheating?” she asked with faux indignity.
Beaming broadly, he nodded defiantly. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m accusing you of.”
“I do not cheat,” she insisted, unable to keep a straight face. “You, my friend, are a sore loser.”
“Ha,” he blurted. “Me a sore loser?”
For a short time, it seemed that all was well. Both of them were able to exist in the present, with no thought for what the future might hold. After dinner, Reece coaxed Allie into a walk along the short stretch of beach and then up to Hyde Street Pier.
“You know,” she hummed, as she shuffled closer to his side in an attempt to use him as a human radiator. “I’ve lived in this city for nearly six years and I’ve never been down here.”
“Are you serious?” he asked, instinctively wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“Ah, no,” she quickly
corrected herself. “That’s not quite true, there was this time I followed a drug dealer down here.”
“Oh,” he replied, with a laugh. “Well, nobody could accuse you of not having a sense of the romantic.”
She quietly laughed, as she leaned closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “It was one in the morning,” she mumbled, reminiscing. “And it was freezing,” she added. “The place was pretty much deserted.
“And you came down here on your own?” he asked, alarmed.
“Yup,” she confirmed with the slightest of nods. “It was my first year on the paper and I was trying to make a good impression.”
“I don’t know about a good impression,” he countered. “But you could have got your head blown off.”
“I know it doesn’t make much sense,” she uttered, lifting her head from his shoulder, so that she can turn and look at his face. “But I wasn’t scared at all. I just wanted the story and wanted to nail the asshole that was selling drugs to high school kids.”
“And did you?” he wondered, looking deep into her eyes and already knowing the answer.
Smiling, she straightened her posture. “What do you think?” she countered, tossing him a glance that said, ‘was there ever any question?’
“I think you’re one of a kind, Allie Mclaren,” Reece whispered, as he slipped out of his jacket, when he realized her lower arms were covered in goose bumps. Easing it around her shoulders, he wrapped her up in it. “I’ve never met anyone else quite like you.”
“Well, I’ve never met anyone quite like you either,” she echoed, smiling gratefully, as he slowly withdrew his fingers from the soft fabric of the jacket. A moment of silence passed between them. It was content, it was sweet; it was one of the most pleasant experiences of Allie’s life. But it, like so much else that had been good recently, didn’t last anywhere near long enough.
Allie sucked in a sharp breath, as she felt a stab of pain in her lower abdomen. Reece heard her intake of air and felt her tense. Instantly, his arm was around her waist and his free hand was pushing the hair away from her pale cheek.
“Are you all right?” he asked, concern knitting his brow with dozens of tiny wrinkles.
“Ahh,” she breathed. “Yeah,” she replied, her own features taut with discomfort. “I’ve just got a bit of stomach ache.”
“You sure?” he probed.
“Yeah,” she mumbled, her face relaxing as the sharp pain faded to a dull niggling. “Must have been something I ate,” she dismissed.
Reece’s concern was still apparent in his voice, face and whole body. “Maybe,” he reluctantly muttered. “But we should probably get you home anyway,” he insisted, the arm at her middle, guiding her in a 180 degree turn, so that they could begin retracing their steps.
Under other circumstances, Allie would have argued; told him that once again he was behaving like an old mother hen and that she was quite capable of monitoring her own well-being. However, on top of the pain, she was beginning to feel extremely tired and the thought of getting back home and curling up on the couch was incredibly appealing.
When the pair got to the end of the pier, and back onto Jefferson, Reece immediately began looking for a cab. There didn’t seem to be one nearby, so he fished out his phone and called for one.
“We could walk some of the way,” Allie suggested, knowing as the words came out of her mouth, that they weren’t true. She didn’t think she’d be able to walk more than a few paces.
The taxi ordered, Reece slid the phone into his back pocket, and shook his head. “You look really pale,” he told her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sick of being asked if I’m okay,” she quipped, tempering what could have been seen as a slight by smiling good-naturedly at him.
Apparently, Reece wasn’t in the mood for humor. “You know what,” he said. “I worry about you, all right? And I’m sick of apologizing for it.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she stated, her eyes widening as she was wrong footed by the suddenness of his mood swing.
“You don’t want to let me know how you’re feeling?” he asked rhetorically. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me about this Patrick guy, that’s fine too.” he stated. “If you don’t want to let me in though, I don’t understand what we’re doing.”
Allie felt another wave of pain, this time accompanied by a strong sense of nausea. However, she refused to let it show. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” he blurted. “Apart from the sex, what exactly do you want me in your life for?”
“If we’re talking about letting someone in, let’s talk about you,” she shouted, unaware and uncaring that they were starting to draw the attention of passersby. “You don’t even want me to come to your home.”
“That’s totally different,” he yelled.
“Is it?” she countered. “Because from where I’m standing, it isn’t that different at all.”
“There are things that aren’t easy for me to talk about,” he insisted, his eyes darting to the concrete and his hand running anxiously through his hair. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, I’m just afraid that it will change things.”
Allie wasn’t prepared for that small confession and her anger drained almost instantly. “If there’s someone else,” she sighed, a teardrop spilling onto her cheek. “Just tell me,” she pleaded, swiping the back of her hand across her face.
With something that looked like horror, he turned to face her. “What?” he asked breathlessly. “You think that I’m seeing someone else?”
“What am I supposed to think?” she reasoned.
“I-” Reece began, but he was cut off sharply, by the blare of a car horn. His eyes moved in the direction of the sound and he noticed the car parked ten feet away. “I...” he blustered, his head moving frantically between the taxi and Allie. “Come on,” he eventually muttered, when the cab driver honked his horn a second time.
Accepting his hand, Allie allowed herself to be led a little way down the sidewalk. Reece opened the rear door of the cab and gestured for her to get in first. He followed quickly behind her, giving the address of her apartment to the driver while he slammed the door closed.
Reece sighed, resting his elbow on the inside of the door, he rubbed nervously at his forehead. Allie watched him, examining the way his eyes were fixed on the floor. She didn’t know what to make of his silence. Did that mean she’d been right or wrong? He was giving nothing away.
“Reece,” she mumbled, placing her hand on his knee. “I’ll understand,” she mumbled. “I mean-” she paused, biting her lower lip, as she felt the stabbing sensation once more.
His eyes darted up and this time she could not disguise the pain on her face. “Your stomach again?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she replied through gritted teeth. “I’ll be okay, though,” she assured him.
Twisting in his seat, Reece reached forward sliding his hand inside his jacket and pressing lightly on the dress that covered her belly. He didn’t know why that was the instinctive go-to in matters of pain, but it was something his mother had always done, so he didn’t question it. Slowly, he rubbed his palm from left to right, doing the only thing he felt was in his power to soothe her discomfort.
“Thanks,” she whispered, managing a half-smile as she slid her own hand over his. “It’s probably just indigestion,” she shrugged. “I’ll be fine in a little while.”
“I’m not so sure,” he muttered grimly. “You don’t look good,” he stated.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
Despite himself, Reece laughed. “You know what I mean,” he said warmly. “Do you want to go the hospital?”
“No,” she quickly stated. “Really, I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s no big deal. Keep doing what you’re doing,” she urged, pressing down on his hand. “I’m feeling better already.”
Reece wanted to argue with her over the hospital, but couldn’t bring himself to distress her.
“Okay,” he unwillingly accepted. “Allie,” he added on a whisper. “There’s no one else.”
Turning her face to him, Allie’s eyes found his nothing but sincere. With a half-smile, she nodded. “I believe you,” she told him quietly. There were unanswered questions, but they went unasked too. Allie was quiet throughout the rest of the journey; the only sound coming from her the occasional wince as she experienced spasmodic bouts of pain.
As the car pulled up and Reece began to reach for the door, Allie stopped him. “There’s no one else for me either,” she told him, as earnestly as he’d told her. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I wasn’t totally sure,” he responded honestly, “but I am now.” Leaning into her, he kissed her lips, before digging into his pocket for his wallet. He handed the cabbie a couple of bills, before pulling the door handle. His hand carefully left Allie, as he slipped out of the backseat and jumped to his feet. He swiveled offering her his hand, and helping her to do the same thing.
Allie breathed deeply as she did, the pain becoming increasingly worse. However, she tried to force a brave face, determined not to worry Reece enough to cause him to insist that she see a doctor. As the car pulled away from the curb, the pain overwhelmed her and she gripped Reece’s hand hard.
“Allie?” Reece said, looping his arm around her waist, as she seemed to have trouble carrying her own weight.
She slumped into him, her legs giving out. “Oh, God. It hurts,” she gasped. Her eyes clamped shut and she began to lose consciousness.
As she started to black out, Reece struggled to keep her standing and slowly lowered her to the sidewalk. “Allie?” he called, trying to rouse her. “Allie!” he yelled, desperately.
Allie was unaware of the panicked look on his face, or the way he hurriedly glanced over his shoulder and found a middle-aged couple passing by. They stopped and the man fell to his knees, instantly checking Allie’s vital signs. Her pulse was rapid, but her breathing was steady. The man’s wife, dug into her purse and found her cell phone. It was she who called the ambulance, while Reece continued to cradle Allie in his arms.
