Then she noticed a man standing over her holding a bottle of water, and in an instant remembered what had happened. Oh God, she’d fainted, she realised, mortified. Fainted in front of some guy who was convinced he knew her, and whom she had never seen before in her life!
“Are you OK?” the man asked, his dark eyes full of concern. “I tried to catch you, but you slid off the bench and onto the ground before I even realised what was happening.”
“Sorry,” she said, trying to stand up and put herself a million miles away from the terrifying mutt.
“Here,” He held out his hand and still keeping a wary eye on the dog, Abby took it, glad of the assistance. “Now, just sit there and take it easy for a while,” he said, helping her onto the bench. “Do you want a drink of water or anything? I used a few drops on your face to try and wake you up, didn’t have any smelling salts on me today sorry,” he added with a slight smile in his voice. “Or if you want to wait there for a minute, I can always nip across the road and get you some hot chocolate?” He smiled. “I know it won’t be half as good as that stuff we had at New York, but …” he shrugged easily.
Abby was terrified. This was all so … so surreal having a complete stranger come up to her in the park and start chatting to her as if he knew her well, talking about things they’d done together a few months before, things about which she had absolutely no recollection! Could it be some kind of joke? Or worse, she realised now, her stomach plummeting, was it simply proof that the doctors had been right all along, and her memory really was beginning to fail?
The thought of this was way too much for her to bear and then without warning, Abby put her hands over and her eyes and began to sob. As she did, the dog moved closer and rested its large head on her lap. Abby jumped back quickly, terrified.
“Don’t be afraid, Lucy’s only trying to trying to comfort you.”
Abby was frozen to the spot. “I’m sorry, I’m just not … I’m kind of scared of dogs actually …”
“Oh, OK.” With that he instructed it to move away, and to Abby’s relief, the animal did so. But even so, she still couldn’t stop sniffling. “It’s OK, she won’t go near you, I promise,” he went on, now looking completely at a loss.
Brushing away tears, she eventually found her voice.
“I’m sorry,” she said, with a shake of her head. “You must think I’m some kind of psycho, fainting and crying for no apparent reason, but the thing is, I really don’t remember any of what you’re telling me. I don’t remember you, or meeting you in New York. To be honest, now I’m not entirely sure if I actually remember being in New York.” With that, the tears, started again.
He frowned, perplexed. “I don’t understand …”
“I’m not sure if I really understand myself,” Abby went on. “I mean, I think I do but …” She bit her lip and shook her head, refusing to let more tears come. The realisation that she really was losing her memory was hard enough; let alone having to deal with it all in front of a complete stranger!
Although as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t a stranger at all, was he? God almighty, Abby thought, temporarily putting her own worries aside and wondering what in the name of God he was making of all this. Imagine someone you’d met and spent time with, bawling and crying about how they couldn’t remember a single thing about any of it, including meeting you? How weird was that? Abby took a deep breath, supposing that she could maybe try and explain it all, but then again, chances were he’d run a mile if she even tried. Who wouldn’t?
But strangely enough, the guy seemed to have little intention of running anywhere, and to Abby’s great relief, wasn’t looking at her as if she belonged in a mental home. Instead, he seemed genuinely sympathetic, while at the same time, she knew, totally bewildered by her carry-on.
“Look, you’ve obviously had a bit of shock,” he said kindly. “Why don’t I go and get us a couple of coffees, and when you’ve calmed down a little maybe you can tell me all about it?”
Which was how, in the middle of Stephens Green with a strange but gentle Labrador at her feet, Abby spent the rest of the afternoon spilling her heart out to a man she was absolutely sure she’d only just met, but was so understanding and sympathetic about her situation it felt as though she’d known him for years.
Finn’s head was spinning with all that she was telling him. It was a crazy story, and while it certainly didn’t seem as though Abby was lying about her injury, it was incredible and in fairness, a bit disheartening that she could have forgotten him completely.
Disheartening because in direct contrast, since that time in New York, he’d hardly been able to forget her.
He’d been there attending a three-day training seminar in Brooklyn held by the Guide Dogs of America (with whom the Leinster Centre had strong connections) and recalled how pissed off he’d been about his early-morning flight to Dublin being cancelled. And while he’d been able to arrange another one for later that evening, it wasn’t much fun having to wait at JFK for seven hours, especially on Christmas Eve, not to mention that he hated having to put his father out by having to leave Lucy with him for longer.
So instead of hanging around the airport, he’d decided to take a cab back into central Manhattan and spend a few hours killing time there, maybe arrange to meet up with an old friend of his who worked on Park Avenue.
In a way, it had been a bit of blessing in disguise seeing as Finn loved Manhattan– had worked there for a couple of years while on his travels–but hadn’t had a chance to do much during his visit, what with the seminar being held out in New Jersey.
So while his mate had originally been all for meeting him for lunch in the Central Park Boathouse, at the last minute he’d had to cancel which was how Finn had eventually ended up having lunch with Abby, the girl whose sandwiches had been stolen by a couple of thieving squirrels and who for some reason, thought his name was Phil.
Initially, he’d been so busy on the phone explaining to Pat about the flight delay that he hadn’t even noticed the girl sitting alongside him on the bench. It was really only when the squirrels had made away with her sandwich and they’d struck up a conversation that he’d taken any notice of her at all, let alone the fact that she was Irish and (there was no denying it) a bit of looker.
Then when shortly afterwards they’d bumped into one another again at the Boathouse, and Abby confessed that it was her first visit to New York, he’d decided that showing her around the city was as good a way as any to spend an afternoon.
And Finn had really enjoyed wandering around showing her the city at Christmas through his eyes. There was something almost childlike in the way she marvelled and enthused at the things he showed her and the stories he told, and he found himself enjoying her company in a way he hadn’t done in years with anyone, let alone another woman. Despite her getting his name wrong, but at the beginning, Finn hadn’t wanted to correct her and make a big deal out of it.
But when he’d eventually ended up walking her back to her sister’s place, and they’d shared a very nice moment outside the house before going their separate ways, he felt the need to let her know that she’d got it wrong.
He’d been attracted to her then, there was no denying it, but at the same time, he hadn’t anticipated it developing into anything more, especially when he was flying home that same night, and they hadn’t even exchanged contact details, let alone arranged to meet up back home.
In fairness, neither of them had learnt little or anything about the others’ lives. Abby certainly hadn’t volunteered a whole lot and Finn didn’t push it, sensing her to be a bit fragile for some reason. Why, he wasn’t sure; there was just something guarded about her whenever the conversation strayed to anything other than what they would do that day.
So back then, he’d taken that afternoon exactly for what it was–two complete strangers brought together unexpectedly amidst the charm of a New York Christmas Eve, a sort of very short-lived holiday romance, if you like.
But sin
ce his return, he had to admit that his thoughts had more than once strayed to the girl he’d bumped into that day, the one who’d laughed at his jokes and had been almost childishly impressed by everything he’d shown her.
Having discovered his father’s admittedly embarrassing opinion about his life, Finn had since decided to get out more and had been on a few other blind dates, each more disastrous than the last. But for the first time ever, he found himself comparing these women’s over-anxious personalities to Abby’s easygoing and fun-filled manner, rather than comparing every woman to Danni like he had before.
There had definitely been a connection between them that day, no doubt about that, but in all fairness Finn had never expected their paths to cross again, and in retrospect, cursed himself for not making some kind of attempt to contact her again.
So when today they’d run into each other in Stephen’s Green, and the girl who’d occupied his thoughts so much hadn’t the faintest iota who he was, well there was no doubt it had an effect on the old ego.
Although any disappointment he might have felt couldn’t have been anywhere close to the anguish and worry the poor thing was experiencing now. She’d obviously spent the last few months convincing herself that her memory was fine, and that the great lengths she’d gone to in the hope of ‘fixing’ it, were working beautifully. Finn had been fascinated by the way she’d managed to cram so many things into such a short space of time, and equally intrigued by her notion that this could somehow halt her memory decline.
So meeting him today had in one fell swoop, sent all of Abby’s hopes crashing to the ground, and who the hell wanted to be responsible for that?
“Anyway, none of it matters now, the doctors were right in the end,” Abby said finally, having relayed to Finn the events of the past six months. The defeated look on her face and utter hopelessness in her tone almost broke his heart in two. “I was an idiot to think I could have prevented this.”
“Look, you don’t know that for certain,” he replied, not entirely sure how to handle this but at least wanting to try. “You’ve remembered everything else that’s happened since then, haven’t you?”
Abby crumpled up her empty coffee cup and shook her head sadly. “I don’t know …I think I have, but at the same time I’ve been keeping diary records of everything that’s happened and saving photos…so now I can’t tell if it’s my own memory, or the computer’s memory that’s storing them for me.”
Finn sat forward on the bench. “Well, does it really matter?”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I’m not trying to be flippant but at the end of the day does it really matter how or where these memories are stored as long as they’re kept somewhere? If your own memory is fading, but you’re backing up everything anyway, then you’ll still be able to recall things whenever you like, won’t you? You can hold onto them for as long as you want.” He shrugged his shoulders. “To be honest, I wished I’d thought of doing something like that, keeping a diary of my experiences as they happened. I’ve travelled all over the world, but I can only really recall some things now–things that for whatever reason stand out from the others, like those monkeys in Thailand.” When Abby looked blank at this, he quickly realised that as she couldn’t remember meeting him, she’d hardly remember his thieving monkeys story. Woah, this was a bit weird! “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that by keeping an account of all these things, you do indeed get to hold onto them forever.”
To his great satisfaction, Abby seemed a bit heartened by this.
“I suppose I’ve never thought of it that way,” she sighed. “But maybe that’s exactly why all these experiences still feel so vivid in my mind. It’s also why I got such a shock when I met you. As far as I was concerned, New York was also still fresh in my mind, but now it seems it’s only the bits I put in my diary.” She looked away, trying to blink back tears.
“You didn’t think enough of me at the time to put in your diary?” Finn teased, and to his immense relief, Abby raised a smile.
“Well, I’m thinking now that maybe that might have been a mistake!” she said chuckling. “From what you’ve told me, it sounds like we had a great time.”
“We did,” he said, smiling wryly, “but here’s me thinking I’m a memorable sort of guy, when clearly I made no impression whatsoever!”
Then he stopped short, realising that flirting with a girl who’d just discovered that she was suffering major memory decline probably wasn’t the cleverest idea. Sitting forward again, his tone grew serious.
“Look, Abby you’ve had a big shock today, and I’m sure you have a lot to think about. But try not to be too hard on yourself or get too upset about all this. So what if you don’t happen to remember me, big deal. It was only something small, something trivial even, and certainly nothing compared to all the amazing things you’ve seen and done over the last while. So why worry?” He breathed out deeply. “I suppose what I’m trying to say is, don’t abandon all hope. There’s a very good chance that your memory could be working fine, no guarantees that this means anything. It could just be a tiny blip like those others you described, nothing major. So, go home, take it easy and have another chat with your doctor. But whatever you do, don’t let this set you back. From what you’ve told me, you’ve been having a whale of a time this last while and really enjoying life, what’s to stop that continuing?”
Abby smiled. “Thanks but maybe I knew deep down that something like this was going to happen. There were a couple of other things … little things, but I ignored them, I wanted to ignore them.”
“Maybe but at the same time, it doesn’t really change anything does it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, forgetting about me hasn’t really affected your life at all, has it?” His eyes twinkled. “My mates reckon I’m a complete pain in the backside anyway, so think of it as a lucky escape.”
“I doubt that,” Abby said, trying to raise a smile, but he could see the worry in her eyes. Then she looked at her watch. “Look, I really should be thinking about heading home,” she said distractedly. “I’ve already taken up enough of your time.”
“Not at all. I’m only sorry that meeting me was what brought all of this on.” As much as he’d wanted to bump into her again, Finn now had mixed feelings about doing so.
“Please don’t be. I’m glad I met you, honestly. You’ve been great, and probably the only person who hasn’t looked at me like I’m crazy for even thinking I could beat this.”
“Crazy is the last word I’d use to describe you,” he replied softly. “To be honest, I think you’re very brave.”
“Thanks.”
The two were silent for a moment before Abby spoke again. “Look, I know this might sound weird, seeing as you hardly know me and all that…” she said, her voice trembling, “and you can tell me to get lost but if you like … but the thing is I really need to know if– ”
Oddly, Finn understood immediately. “You want to find out if you can remember me again after today?” he finished.
“Yes.” She looked at him with guilty eyes “I’m sorry, I know I have no right to ask...”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course you do and for my part, I’m very glad you asked.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel as though you’re part of some weird experiment or something.”
“It’s not like that. Anyway, it cuts both ways because I’m really interested in finding out if I’ve made a lasting impression this time round!” he joked lightly, and this time she actually laughed.
“OK then, so how do you want to work it?” he asked, his tone growing serious.
This was important to Abby and he wasn’t going to minimise it. Hell, it was important to him, and he hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was eager to find out if he’d made an impression. Having been single for so long and then finally meeting a woman who’d roused his interest, wasn’t it just his luck that the next time they met, she might not know h
im from Adam?
Chapter 25
Despite Finn’s suggestion, Abby decided in the end not to tell Hannah or anyone else about this. She wanted to wait until she was a hundred percent sure that there really was a problem with a memory.
Like he’d said, there was still a chance that this was something isolated, maybe some temporary lapse she’d experienced while in Manhattan. The strangest thing about it all was that she was sure she could recall pretty much everything else about the New York trip, but had no recollection whatsoever of going out on her own and meeting him. As far as she was concerned she’d spent the majority of her visit at her sister’s, and since her return had been kicking herself for not seeing more of the city other than St Patrick’s.
For one thing, the very idea of Teresa allowing her wander around in a strange city on her own so soon after the accident was unimaginable, particularly as back then her mother had been watching her like a hawk. But as much as she desperately wanted to contact a member of her family and ask them if this were true, she couldn’t risk them knowing that she’d drawn a blank. All hell would break lose.
So only way Abby could really know for sure was by carrying out this experiment with Finn.
Still, it was taking every ounce of willpower she had not to diarise the events of that day, particularly when she’d really warmed to Finn–despite the shock to the system of learning that they’d already spent a considerable amount of time together.
But perhaps that was exactly why she’d warmed to him, because how on earth could she have absolutely no recollection of someone so gentle and lovely? Not to mention extremely good-looking, she thought with a smile, having no problems at all recalling from earlier those intense probing eyes and manfully handsome face.
For the umpteenth time, she cast her mind back to New York and tried desperately to remember something, anything at all that might jog her memory into action. But much to her dismay, there was nothing–nothing in the slightest resembling a jaunt around Manhattan, let alone with a good-looking Irish man.
Falling in Love in New York Page 22
