by Marla Monroe
Nothing made sense now. Always, he’d been able to find the true problem amid any jumbled mess he and his brother found themselves in. Together they would work out the best course of action and act on it. Now, with their attentions divided between the ranch and themselves, their parents and their future, Laredo wasn’t sure the answers were out there for them.
A flash of light caught his attention. Laramie had pulled his truck out of the parking lot but wasn’t heading in his direction. Instead, his twin drove down the road to an old barn they’d converted into a gym. Right now, it was only for them and the crew, but later, they planned to build a new workout building for guests. He knew what his brother was doing. When he had demons to fight and decisions to make, Laramie tended to work out to relieve the stress and tension. He didn’t lose control and lash out at someone when he was stressed out. It was one of the reasons he and his brother had been so successful in the armed forces, their constant ability to remain in control. And that control was slipping now. For both of them.
He turned away from the knowledge that his brother was struggling as much as he was. This wasn’t something that was going to go away anytime soon. Neither was it something they could fix in their normal stoic way. Laredo didn’t have a clue how they were going to overcome this challenge. All he knew was that they had guests coming tomorrow and their satisfaction was the key to the ranch’s continued viability.
He didn’t bother locking the door. Laramie would be home in an hour or so. He headed straight for the shower, peeling off his clothes as soon as he reached the bathroom. The stinging spray peppered his aching muscles as he stepped inside. He’d adjusted the water until it was almost too hot to withstand, in hopes it would help burn away the sight of Billy in Laramie’s arms from his mind.
After lathering up, he rinsed, but even trying to project his worries into the soap as it washed down the drain didn’t help. Instead it left behind the truth of what was bothering him more than anything, the fact that he’d gotten hard at the sight of Laramie kissing her.
Laredo dropped his head to the shower wall and banged it twice for good measure. What the hell was wrong with him that he’d sprouted wood seeing his brother with the woman he was falling in love with? He’d beat around the bush with worry about how he could live knowing his brother was with his woman when all the time, he’d been scared to acknowledge that the thought of them together turned him on.
It was no surprise to him that he was a voyeur at heart. He’d always been like that, enjoying the view almost as much as he enjoyed the act. Seeing someone lose all control and abandon their proper behavior to scream in pleasure, as their bodies writhed with it. He’d watched many times when his brother fucked another woman. Hell, in the service, it wasn’t often that they had any privacy at all. If the woman was willing, a soldier took his pleasure when he could get it. If that meant giving others a show, hell yeah.
But to feel this way when the woman he’d begun to have feelings for was being touched and savored by his own brother, seemed—well, wrong. It didn’t make him think less of Billy at all. Instead, it made him want her more, care about her more, deeper.
Laredo realized he’d started cupping his balls with hand and palmed his rigid dick with the other. He gave the shaft a long hard pull before stroking it with a tight grip. An image of Billy’s kiss-swollen lips gripped his balls like a vise, and he squeezed them in his hand. She’d be a goddess on her knees with her hands resting on his thighs as she looked up with those amazing blue eyes.
Fire shot up his spine as he imagined her licking her lips before slowly taking his rock-hard cock between those bee-sting lips, all rosy red from his brother’s kiss. Her tongue would tease along the underside of his cockhead, tasting and stroking as she slowly sucked him down.
Groaning, Laredo closed his eyes and breathed deep as blood filled his cock, making it even harder if possible. Her soft hum as she slowly took him to the back of her throat vibrated along the shaft, tingling his balls even as he ached to force her to take more. He shouldn’t have worried. Billy relaxed her jaw and tongue to glide farther down his dick, all wet from her saliva. The spongy tip tapped against the back of her throat.
A growl escaped from his throat when she swallowed around him, sending sparks of exquisite pleasure straight to his balls. Cum boiled, already threatening to erupt. He fought to prevent it. He would not shoot his wad so soon like an untried boy. He was in control, dammit.
Only he wasn’t so sure about that anymore. The moment Billy had come into their lives, he’d slowly started losing some of his famous control. If he were honest, the moment he’d first heard her voice over the phone, Laredo had felt the pull. The attraction between them had been that strong, and it still was. The only fly in the ointment being that evidently it was just as strong with his brother as well.
Laredo tugged on his cock with increasing desperation, pumping it with his fist in an almost painful grip. This wasn’t rubbing one out to get some relief for sleep, this was a desperate bid to exorcise the demon inside of him that wanted to watch his brother fuck the woman he was growing to love, maybe already did love.
As her imagined mouth sucked him deep, Laredo jerked with the first spurts of cum that exploded from dick. He milked the stalk over and over as shot after shot of cum coated the back of his hand and the wall in front of him. His ass cheeks ached with the force of it as the muscles contracted and he stood on tip toe from the intensity of his orgasm.
When he’d emptied his balls, Laredo collapsed against the shower wall, nearly sinking to his knees in the aftermath. His breaths came in spurts much like his cum had earlier. The pounding of his heart in his chest was echoing in his ears. For a split second, he wondered if he were having a heart attack but quickly tossed that thought away.
Once he’d regained enough strength to stand without using the wall as an anchor, Laredo rinsed off again and cleaned up the mess he’d made. Then he stepped out of the shower and dried off. Nothing had changed and nothing was settled. He still didn’t know what the answer was, but at least he’d accepted that he was a sick bastard on top of everything else. Now all he had to do was figure out what that meant in the big scheme of things. He had long ago learned that nothing was a coincidence. Everything had a part to play in the final picture, even his realization that he enjoyed the idea of watching his brother screw Billy, the woman he was planning to make his. If that didn’t suck, what did?
Chapter Eight
Billy checked the biscuits one more time. They were nearly done. She hadn’t slept well at all that night. Her head was a war zone of inner accusations and self-deprecating comments. How could she have allowed herself to get involved with not just one of her bosses, but both of them? What was wrong with her? Hadn’t she learned her lesson with Gregg?
As soon as the biscuits were done, she pulled them out and popped the next batch inside. The gravy was done and warming on the stove. She would scramble the eggs once she heard the first of the men arriving in the dining room. She’d already set up the coffee and juice for them. It was a damn good thing she could cook breakfast on autopilot because concentrating on anything more complicated was impossible at this point. She had to get her head in order before the guests arrived and it was time for dinner.
The soft swish of the kitchen door opening had her back stiffening even as her hands began to shake. She nearly dropped the hot pad after setting the biscuits on the top of the stove. Without turning around, she knew it would be one of the brothers. Her body seemed attuned to them now as if an invisible wire connected them.
When he didn’t say anything, she slowly turned around to find Laredo standing there watching her. His expression was as controlled as ever. She had no idea what he was thinking. It unnerved her to not know where she stood with the man. Did or didn’t she have a job after today? Or would they wait until this batch of guests were gone to give her the boot. She bit her lip, trying to figure out what to say. In the end, she said nothing. As she turned back to
the stove to start the eggs, he cleared his throat.
“Billy.”
She froze, and then when he said nothing more, she turned back around to face him. For an instant, she thought she saw worry in his eyes, but when it disappeared she was sure she’d imagined it.
“Don’t worry about your position here on the ranch. I’m not going to fire you over personal issues unless they interfere with your duties. No matter what happens, in the future, I’ll stand by that.” He started to turn away but stopped.
Billy wasn’t sure what she should do or say, if anything. While it was an immense relief to know she still had a job, the insinuation that there might be a repeat of the incident worried her. She’d already had a long talk with herself about making sure it didn’t happen again. She had no business, much less time, to indulge in an affair with anyone, especially one of the bosses.
She opened her mouth to tell him that when he surprised her, moving so fast she didn’t have time to step back. He bent down and cupped her face with his hands before kissing her on the lips. It wasn’t a quick kiss, but neither was it a passionate attempt at surpassing his brother’s from the night before. When he pulled back, he winked then turned around and left just as quietly as he’d come in.
The sound of rambunctious laughter coming from the dining room reminded her that she still had eggs to cook. Without allowing herself to dwell on the kiss or the wink, Billy scrambled to finish the eggs and get everything out before it was all ice cold. She wanted to escape back into the kitchen after that, but knew if she did, they would want to know why she wasn’t eating with them. Thankfully, Laramie and Laredo were deep in conversation with Shakespeare, who was coordinating the airport transportation for the day. She slipped into a chair between Shelby and Rusty in hopes she could finish eating and retreat without them paying her any attention at all.
“The food last night was great, Billy,” Shelby offered.
“Yeah, it was. I haven’t tasted anything that good in a long time,” Rusty agreed.
“Thanks. I’m glad it went over well.”
“What do you have on the menu for tonight?” Rusty asked.
Before she could answer, Laramie walked over with a stack of dirty plates and utensils. He stopped next to her chair.
“I’ll help you clean up,” he said. It was a clear sign that he wanted to talk to her.
She gave him a shaky smile and stood up, gathering the now empty plates around her. Rusty stacked his and Shelby’s plate for her before she followed Laramie to the kitchen to retrieve the cart. They worked silently clearing the table until everything had been moved to the kitchen. Billy started rinsing and loading the dishwasher as soon as she had the cart cleared off.
Laramie took the plate she was rinsing out of her hands and turned off the water. Then he handed her a cloth to dry her hands.
“We need to talk, Billy Jean,” he said.
She dried her hands, but didn’t look at him. This was one conversation she really didn’t want to have. The one with his brother earlier had been uncomfortable enough as it was, and she hadn’t even had to say anything. Laramie wouldn’t allow her to get away without saying anything this time. He was much more verbal compared to his brother.
“Let’s go sit in the bar. No one will be there right now,” he said.
“I’ve got to work on lunch and start some things for dinner,” she began.
“You have time.” He took her hand in his and tossed the cloth to the counter.
Billy reluctantly followed him, feeling as if she were going to the gallows, though that wasn’t being very kind to him. She knew he wasn’t going to yell at her or fire her after what his brother had said, but just talking about emotional stuff made her nervous and shaky inside.
When he’d seated her at a table, he took the chair next to her and sat down. She still didn’t look at him. If she saw regret or pity on his face, it would kill her.
“Look at me, Billy Jean.”
She sighed and slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. There was no pity or regret in them, only a warm smile. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was smiling about. His brother had caught them kissing when she’d just been kissing Laredo the day before.
“Laredo said he told you earlier that you don’t have to worry about your job. It never even occurred to me that you would worry about it. I’m sorry about that,” he said.
She shrugged, still unable to think of anything to say. They had to know about her past, at least the part that Gregg had spread around. It only added to the humiliation and worry that still plagued her. But at least he recognized that she had been uneasy about where she stood with things left as they had been.
“I’m not sorry for kissing you, Billy Jean. Nor am I going to promise it won’t happen again, because it will.”
Her eyes snapped back to his, her mouth falling open at his statement. She snapped it closed again. Before she could gather her wits enough to tell him to think again, he dropped another bombshell.
“I think you can expect both of us to actively pursue you, baby. We’re both attracted to you. This isn’t just some hot and heavy lust attack that’s going to fizzle out in a few days or weeks. We’re both serious about you and want the chance to get to know you.” His eyes seemed to search hers for some indication of how she felt about that.
She’d like to know how she felt about that as well, because right then, she was speechless and had forgotten everything she’d been planning to say to him. She worked her mouth several times to try and get the words out, but nothing would come out. Finally she managed a hoarse no and stood up.
“N–no. We can’t do this. You’re my bosses. In the end, I’ll be the one who gets hurt, not you or Laredo. I’ll be without a job and a place to live. I can’t do this.” She stepped back and nearly fell over the chair before she managed to get her feet under her again.
Billy ran from the room, nearly running over Rusty as she raced across the living area to the front door. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She needed to get away, get some air. As soon as she made it outside, Billy ran down the steps and across the yard. Before she knew it, she was across the road and outside one of the barns, her hands already pulling open the door to go inside.
Panic laced with fear paralyzed her. What was she doing? There would be horses there. She couldn’t get near them. Overwhelmed and hurting, Billy had reverted to her childhood habit of going to the barn to talk to the horses when things got too much for her. They’d always been her confidants and friends when she had a problem.
Now though, she was caught between her new worries and her own personal demons with nowhere to go. She managed to back away from the barn but couldn’t force her feet to carry her any farther. She began to shake as a horse inside the barn called out to those in the corral, their answering whinnies sending chills down her spine.
“Hey there, Billy. What are you doing out here?”
At the sound of Dalton’s voice, she started to calm some until she turned toward it and found him sitting atop a horse next to her. Her bowels turned to water and scenes from the past flashed before her eyes.
“No, no, no. Not again. I can’t do this again.” She chanted it over and over while everything faded away.
* * * *
“PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder,” Reed said, nodding his head. “I’ve seen it a lot with some of the wounded warriors we used to get at some of the other ranches.”
“I should have realized it, but I guess wasn’t thinking of that with Billy Jean,” Laramie said. “Thanks, man. I didn’t know what to do at first.”
Laramie picked Billy Jean up and started toward the road. His brother came running out of the lodge toward him, stopping at the road to wait on him to cross.
“What happened? What is she doing out here?” he asked, concern marring his normally stoic expression.
“I’m not real sure. We were talking and she jumped up and left. Ran outside to the barn then when Dalton asked her what s
he was doing out there, she wigged out. Started saying no, no, no over and over again and just curled up in a ball on the ground and started rocking.” He carried her up the steps of the lodge and inside, when Laredo held the door for them. “Reed heard Dalton call for help, and got to her before I did. Said it was PTSD, and I agree.”
Laredo followed him up the stairs to her apartment and opened the door for him. He crossed the small living area in two strides on his way to her bedroom. When he gently laid her on the bed, she curled up once again, rocking herself as if nothing else could comfort her.
“Why? What in the world could have happened to her to cause this?” His brother stilled as Laramie pulled off her shoes. “What did you say to her to trigger it?”
“I didn’t say anything. I don’t know what happened.” He grabbed the blanket at the foot of the bed and covered her with it.
Turning to his twin, he nodded toward the door, indicating that he wanted to talk outside the room. With one last look at her, they left, leaving the door cracked in case she needed help. He followed Laredo to the kitchen.
“What were you talking to her about in the first place? I told you that I’d assured her that no matter what, her job wasn’t an issue,” Laredo said.
“I wanted to tell her I was sorry that I hadn’t thought of that and that we let her worry about it all night. I felt bad about it. After I worked out some last night, it hit me that she was probably thinking you’d fire her, but it was too late to go over and tell her otherwise by the time I thought about it.” Laramie rubbed his face.
Seeing Billy Jean on the ground rocking like a terrified child had left him shaky. He never wanted to see her like that again. They had to find out what triggered it in the first place.
