by Lily Zante
“Who?”
“You know who,” said Elsa, irritated that another daughter of hers was trying to pull the wool over her eyes.
She’d been unable to sleep again and had tossed around for most of the night as sadness and worry lingered in her mind.
For her, sadness was now a part of Verona. Gone were the happy memories she’d stored from her times with Edmondo. The sadness had wiped the good times away and it surrounded her wherever she went—in the cool of the pensione and here in the genteel and exquisite Casa Adriana. She dared not face the garden just yet, even though her heartstrings tugged at her.
Memories of Edmondo were in every nook and cranny of Verona, in every fiber of her being. He was a hard man to forget—not that she ever intended to forget him. Just like her husband. Gone, but still there, in her heart and mind. Edmondo too would become a treasured memory as the years passed. But in her dark moments she was reminded of the man she would never see again and she would question the unfairness of life, even knowing, in her wise years, that life was anything but fair, and that whatever happened was out of her control.
Such had been her thoughts as she’d waited at the airport for Nico to pick her up. This was her third trip to Verona in six months and she felt sombre about it, even though she was coming for a happy occasion.
Seeing Rona and Carlos looking at one another as though they couldn’t stand being together had not helped. Only a fool would not see the veil they had put over their relationship just for her benefit. She was old, but she wasn’t stupid. What did they take her for? She hadn’t talked about it further and had focused her attention on Tori instead.
It was obvious that things were clearly no better now than when Carlos had left.
“You mean about Rona and Carlos?” Ava asked innocently. And you too, thought Elsa, scrutinizing her daughter’s face as Ava averted her eyes and fiddled with the papers in front of her.
“Of course I mean Rona and Carlos. They’re not talking properly to one another.”
Ava opened her mouth, and then paused. “Aren’t they?”
“No, they are not.”
Ava shrugged. “Maybe they had a minor disagreement. You know how loose tongued Rona can get when she’s had a few glasses of wine. She said they’d been out to dinner. I wouldn’t worry too much, Mom.”
But Elsa did worry.
“Where is she?” Elsa had already been here a while catching up with Ava and hadn’t seen Rona at all.
“She’s gone to Montova—to see Andrea about ordering new products.”
“More products? Your place looks like a warehouse as it is,” said Elsa.
Ava winced. “Did you manage to go by my apartment and see Kim before you came?”
Elsa nodded. “That girl is a godsend. I’d trust her with my apartment.”
Ava raised an eyebrow. “She’s a single mom. She’s busy as it is and I need her. I can’t afford to lose her.”
“It’s a miracle you found her,”
“It’s a miracle I found her and she’s local. Otherwise I don’t know what I’d have done.”
“It’s a pity. I thought Rona coming here would help.”
“She has helped me,” insisted Ava. “And she’s out of Kim’s way—she seems to be handling things just fine by herself.”
“I thought her being here might help her to see things with a bit of perspective—appreciate Carlos a bit more.”
“I thought the same. You said she was happy here. I didn’t realize how happy,” Ava muttered.
“What was that, Honey?”
“Nothing. She has helped, she’s been dealing with inventory and lots of other things.”
“How are you holding up?” Elsa asked, looking at her daughter who’d filled out some more; a smile crossed Elsa’s face. “You’ll be married in a week, Honey. Are you ready?” In the Fall Ava would have Edmondo’s grandchild; her grandchild also and her heart ached for all the things he would not see.
“Ready to marry Nico? Of course I am. As for everything else, I don’t know. I have so much to do.”
“Leave the work, it’s not important, not really. Not in the grand scheme of things. You only get married once.”
“I know what’s important, Mom. I’ll stop working in a few days’ time, I promise. I have a dress fitting this afternoon. Why don’t you come with me?”
Elsa shook her head. She was feeling tired again, tired and couldn’t summon up the drive to do anything. “I think I might go back and lie down for a while.”
Ava looked at her with concern. “I thought you might want to spend some time in the gardens now that you’re here. We could have lunch later and then you can go back and rest.”
Elsa feigned an interested smile. For now, the pensione appealed to her more than the gardens. She hadn’t been out there yet—knowing she didn’t feel ready. She was suddenly too afraid to step back into the memories. Because her memories of Edmondo were the strongest there, in the gardens he loved so much. Each time she revisited the gardens, each time she sat in the pergola or smelled the jasmine, or admired the lemon trees she was reminded of their moments of happiness. Except that now the past was seen through the veil of regret; regret for what might have been. She knew, in the thinking part of her mind, that this was no way to live the rest of her life—but she couldn’t help it.
And right now, she didn’t want to try either. After all, she knew—having been through this before—that grieving was a process that could not be sped up, rushed through, fixed, or discarded. Grieving was a passage that, like life, had to be lived through and experienced.
“Why don’t you take Rona?” she suggested. “It will give you the chance to find out what’s going on with her and Carlos.” Ava walked over to her, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Mom, I don’t want you to worry about Rona, or me, or Carlos or Nico or Tori. You look tired. I want you to rest and be prepared for my big day.”
“I’m not ill,” Elsa insisted.
“I know. But this isn’t easy for you, being here. I know that. I can see it. I know you’re in pain. I know it must be hard. But Mom, I need you to be well and to get through this for me, for Nico, for the wedding. I want you to feel happy, even though I know it must be the worst kind of torture for you to be here.”
Elsa patted her daughter’s hand. This would not do—she couldn’t upset her daughter like this. She had to be strong. It would pass, this feeling of detachment, of sadness and numbness. It would go. She was tired, that was all. With steely determination she gave Ava her best smile.
“I’m going back to the pensione to lie down a while and perhaps in the evening I’ll come back and we’ll go out to dinner somewhere? I know of quite a few good places to eat. Edmondo introduced me to all of his favorites. I think that would be a wonderful way to spend time together as a family. All of us.”
Ava’s face brightened. “That sounds wonderful. We’ll pick you up. I’ll take Rona with me for the dress fitting. I think Nico and Carlos have gone into town.”
“I like that the two of them get on so well,” she said, knowing that Carlos hadn’t exactly taken to Connor, Ava’s previous fiancé. Neither, for that matter, had she.
“I like it too.”
“How’s the baby?”
“The baby is going to make me look like a snow-covered mountain when I wear my dress.”
Elsa released a laugh. She knew that wasn’t even remotely true. Ava would dazzle as she walked down the aisle.
It was a tragedy that Edmondo wouldn’t be here to see his wish come true.
Chapter 32
“You don’t look that big,” Rona told her, yet again.
“And you’re lying. I was huge. I am huge. Humongous. Positively Titanic.”
“You are almost six months pregnant.”
“I wish Nico had just opted for a quiet ceremony, somewhere in the grounds of the hotel.”
“Did you say that the entire village was going to be there?”
“I
t’s a small church and we’re inviting close family and friends. Of course, he has a lot of extended family and they seem to know everyone within a hundred-mile radius of Verona. I’m scared to turn up.”
Rona looked at her sister. “Why? It’s your big day.”
“But I’m going to be huge.” And she was off again.
“You’re going to look beautiful. You’re pregnant, you can’t change that. It’s too late to postpone the wedding now. Why didn’t you think of that before?” Rona asked curious.
“Nico wanted to get married before the baby was born. And then my wrist was sprained, he’s been busy dealing with the new hotel and I had you and Kim and other issues to deal with.”
“I didn’t realize I was an issue.”
Ava shook her head and said nothing further on the matter. “What happened last night with you and Carlos? Nico said neither of you looked happy when he drove Mom over.”
Rona scrunched up her face. “She doesn’t miss a thing does she?”
“I’m worried about her.”
“You’re always worried about her.”
“Aren’t you?”
Rona didn’t like her sister’s accusatory tone. Ava might have the wedding, the pregnancy, her hormones, the online store, the suppliers and other things to think about but heck, she was in the middle of a marriage crisis. “She’s probably just tired from the flight, that’s all.”
“It’s hard for her, coming here. You have to put yourself in her shoes. It’s a delicate time for her. Don’t you think Edmondo would have loved the wedding? He’d been waiting for Nico to settle down.” Ava turned her head and stared out of the window.
Rona reached over and slipped her hand into Ava’s. “I understand that it’s a tough time for Nico, and for you too.” Okay, so maybe her sister had a lot more going on than she’d given her credit for. “I think the two of you make a great couple. You’re a great team. I love that he’s going to be a part of our family. I love that you’re going to have a baby of your own.” She hadn’t meant to sound so gushy, but the words tripped out without a thought and she meant every single one of them.
Ava turned towards her with eyes filled with tears and attempted a half-smile. “I’m happy,” she said, tearing up, and fighting it. “I just want everything to go okay on the day. I want mom to be happy, I want you and Carlos back to normal.”
She wasn’t the only one.
“We went out to dinner but it didn’t quite work out. Don’t you worry about it. I know Carlos. I know what he’s like. He’s had his time of camping out in his man-cave, and he’s starting to simmer down. I think he believes me, that it was a stupid mistake, what I did. It was crazy. I was…wrong to even go there.” She was going to say that she was all caught up in the moment, that the air in Verona had gone to her head, that she’d enjoyed having time to herself and that having a man pay her attention had caught her off guard.
But all these things weren’t really true. She’d gone along with it, taking each moment as it came, not stopping to think of consequences. She knew herself—knew that it wouldn’t have ever come to a second kiss, or another candlelit meal. She knew herself the error of what she’d done.
She only hoped that she could make Carlos see it too. She patted Ava’s thigh gently. “The only thing you’re going to worry about on your wedding day is your mascara. You’ll hope it won’t smudge because you’ll be crying tears of happiness.”
They had just walked back into the hotel when Carlos came rushing towards her. She almost didn’t recognize him. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead and his eyes bulged like a man possessed. She already knew it would be bad, the news he had for her. Instinctively she put her hand to her heart to protect it.
“Tori’s missing,” he choked.
Chapter 33
“Thanks for the lift,” said Carlos as they got out of the Nico’s car.
“You’re welcome,” responded Nico. Carlos had gone into town with Nico and while he had gone to meet with his bank manager, Carlos had enjoyed a Viennese cappuccino at one of the outside cafes in the Piazza delle Erbe. He’d left Tori with Lizzi and had therefore been able to sit and watch the world go by.
They walked back into the Casa Adriana to an empty hotel lobby. Nico shook his head. “Where is everyone?” he asked, his jaw clenched.
“Who’re you looking for?” Carlos asked. In his mind he was already making plans for the evening: he would fetch Tori from the gardens and make his way back home. He had ideas about setting the scene for a second attempt at an evening out for him and Rona.
“A receptionist would be good,” glowered Nico, looking around in consternation. “This is what happens when you take on new people. The whole system falls to pieces whenever Gina isn’t here.”
“Where is she?” asked Carlos. “She’s the only person I ever see here.”
“She’s away on a training course otherwise she’d be here to keep an eye on things.”
Carlos chuckled, understanding the dilemma perfectly. There was always one person, even in the kitchens of his father’s restaurants who seemed to know everything, and everyone else relied on this person.
“We have the same problem in the restaurant. There are some key people you can never afford to lose. I feel your pain. Excuse me while I check on Tori.” He left a visibly annoyed Nico and ventured into the gardens.
He’d been thinking things over as he sat drinking his coffee and watching the world pass by. He had decided that enough was enough. Things between him and Rona had to change. He had to make that change, since he’d been the one who had steadfastly refused to discuss the matter, despite Rona’s many attempts to put things right.
It wasn’t fair, either, to have this atmosphere around the time of the wedding. He’d listened to Nico talk excitedly about the day and his hopes and plans, and Carlos did not want his own problems to taint their special day.
He’d decided what he was going to do to set things right again and asking Lizzi to babysit tonight was the first thing. He would take Rona out again, only this time they would talk. Really talk, and resolve their problems.
With a head full of ideas he walked into the pergola and didn’t think anything of the pink plastic tumbler that he almost trampled on. Nor did he think too much of Tori’s baby bag that had fallen to the floor. But the sight of the baby stroller turned on its side, as if someone had knocked it over and run, that stopped him dead in his tracks.
There was no sign of Tori or Lizzi and even as he quickly glanced around the gardens, he didn’t see them. The hairs on his neck prickled his skin like briars. His brain froze as he looked around and saw what looked like Lizzi’s bag lying on one of the wicker chairs. There, underneath the chair lay one of Tori’s soft pink and orange toddler sandals.
Thump. It was the sound of his insides as they dropped onto the ground. A silent primal scream broke out in his head and he bolted straight back into the hotel.
“She’s gone!” he shouted, rushing in as a pain in his chest and throat took hold simultaneously. Everything around him suddenly took on a movie form. Nico broke away from his conversation with a staff member. “Who’s gone?”
“Tori,” Carlos murmured in a pained voice. His lungs were starting to squeeze together, and he couldn’t breathe easily. “The pergola…it’s a mess, her stroller, her shoe…” He blinked, seeing spots in front of his eyes. Nico looked at him in concern.
“Slow down, Carlos. What’s happened?”
“Tori’s missing. She’s gone. Gone!” He took out his cell phone and then put it back into his jacket pocket again. Agitation made it impossible to stay still, to do nothing. His nerves were a tangled mess of chaos.
“Call someone. The police. Call them. She’s only a baby.” He looked around the reception, his eyes darting everywhere, a feeling of restlessness pinching every inch of his skin.
“Calm down,” said Nico, softly. “Did you see Lizzi or Tori leave the hotel?” he asked the woman behind the desk. She shook her
head.
“This is why we never leave the hotel desk unmanned,” said Nico in a tight voice.
“I’m sorry Mr. Cazale. One of the guests was having problems with the—”
“You are not to ever leave the desk unmanned. Do you understand?” Nico’s voice was deathly quiet. He turned to Carlos. “There has to be a reasonable explanation. Come, let’s check the gardens once more.” Carlos didn’t need to be told twice. They ran back out and examined the pergola again before rushing around the gardens calling out their names.
“Tori! Tori, baby! Tori! Lizzi!” Carlos shouted, his head turning in all directions, his gaze darting at lightning speed on the alert for flashes of the bright green dress she’d been wearing.
His shoulders were tight, his whole body was tight as he raced around looking for her desperately. He was terrified by the idea that he had no idea where his baby was or whether she was safe or not.
Nico rushed back from the opposite direction, he shook his head. “She’s not here.”
“She’s been taken,” Carlos heard his voice say the words but it didn’t sound as though they came from his mouth. He felt as though he was observing these events from a distance. His whole body was in limbo and his mind fractured, leaving him helpless so that he could not think, or breathe, or be.
“Let’s go back inside. I’ll call the police. I’ll get the staff to look around the grounds. It’s not what you think. There’s a perfectly good explanation for this.” They walked back towards the pergola and stared at the baby bag strewn across the floor. Nico tried to make him feel better but he didn’t believe any of it.
As they rushed back into the hotel Nico raced to the phone and Carlos paced around, his thoughts scrambling into a thousand different directions. He got out his cell phone to make the dreaded call to Rona. But the sound of heels on marble made him turn his head and his fear turned to relief when he saw Rona walk in. He ran to her, and watched as her expression, unsure and hesitant when she first laid eyes on him, turned to abject terror when he said the two words no parent ever wanted to hear.
