She moved to stare out the window of her father’s room. “Daddy’s had a stroke.”
“I’ll be there in thirty.”
She sighed in relief. She hated asking him for anything, but she really needed to feel his arms around her right now. “I love you, Jacob. Be careful. There’s nothing that can be done for now, but I need you with me.”
“I love you too, darlin’. Hold tight. I’ll be right there.”
She closed the phone and returned to her father’s bedside. “He’s on his way back. He was almost home from dropping me off at the house this morning.”
“What was he doing dropping you off at home in the morning?”
Oh shit. “Well you see, his brothers thought it would be funny to kidnap me and take me out to their ranch last night, but they were drunk off their asses—oh excuse me—butts, so I drove them home.”
“And?”
Heat crawled up her neck. Telling her father about her sex life wasn’t the most pleasant thing to do. “Um, I stayed with Jacob instead of coming home right away.”
“I’m glad you’re in love with him and he loves you, otherwise I would be having a shotgun discussion with a certain young man about how he’s treating my daughter.”
She laughed as she took the seat she’d vacated to make the phone call.
“I don’t think this situation is funny, Paige.”
“The reason I laughed was because I had the shotgun out last night when his brothers broke in.”
“They broke in?” he asked, his eyes wide with alarm as he fiddled with the blanket beneath his hands.
“Not really. The door wasn’t locked yet.”
“This family sounds like a pretty rowdy bunch. Are you sure you want to get involved with them?”
“Do I have much choice? I love him.”
“I guess I have to deal with a rowdy bunch of rednecks being my in-laws?”
“There’s no wedding planning going on yet, Daddy. Besides, you met his mother and father at the barbeque. They weren’t a bunch of rowdy rednecks there.”
“No, but it was a church picnic. I would hope they were on their best behavior in the house of the Lord.”
“I’m sure they were.” She stood back up. “I’m going to get some coffee and some breakfast. I’ll be back in a bit.” She wanted to head Jacob off before her father got ahold of him anyway, so she figured it would be best to hang out down by the front doors.
About thirty minutes later, Jacob came skidding in on his cowboy boots through the front door. “Paige, what’s wrong?”
She sat him down on the bench so she could brief him. “Daddy’s had a stroke. They called me right after you left me at the house.”
“How’s he doin’?”
“Okay, but he’s got some weakness on the right side. He’ll have to go to rehab for a while to regain his strength.”
“I’m sorry, darlin’. I wish I could have been there when you got the call.”
His arm went around her as she placed her head on his shoulder. “It’s okay. We didn’t know this would happen. There isn’t anything you could have done anyway.”
“Except be here for you.”
“You’re here now. That’s what counts.”
They sat together for several minutes before he shifted to the side to look into her face. “So why didn’t you let me come up to the room?”
“Busted, huh?”
“Yeah. I didn’t expect you to be down here.”
She caught her lip between her teeth for a minute as she sighed. “Daddy knows about us.”
“I knew that before. He didn’t like me very much.”
“No, what I mean is he knows about us. I told him the truth about the bar.”
“And?”
“He understands, sort of. He also knows I love you and not being with you isn’t part of the deal. He’ll just have to get over his feelings or whatever is the problem, but I think he’s okay with everything.”
“Shall we get this over with then?” he asked, getting to his feet and dragging her up with him.
“I guess.”
He kissed her quickly on the lips. “It’ll be okay, darlin’. I love you. That’s all that matters.”
With heavy steps, she led Jacob back to her father’s room. She wasn’t sure how this meeting would progress and she wasn’t ready to find out. They reached the door to his room and she hesitated.
“Paige?”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
He brought her hand to his lips. “We’ll face him together, baby.”
A heavy sigh escaped her lips in a rush. “Okay. I can do this.”
They walked through the doorway together only to find her father with his eyes closed lying in the bed.
“Daddy?”
Her father didn’t move.
She walked closer, picked up his hand and stroked the back with her fingers. His eyes never flickered.
“Daddy?” Her voice trembled as she shook her father’s shoulder. When she turned to look at Jacob, the concern in his eyes drove terror through her heart. “Jacob?”
“I’ll get the nurse.” He grabbed the door as he shouted for a nurse, his voice clear with panic.
“No, Daddy. Don’t do this.” She shook him harder.
A nurse came rushing through the door calling her father’s name. She ran her fingers along his neck to check for a pulse. “You’re going to have to move, Ms. Tyler.” The nurse hit an alarm on the wall and within seconds, it seemed like a hundred people rushed through the doorway.
One nurse pushed in a cart. A doctor shoved her out of the way as another nurse pushed the bed flat. They lifted him up to stick something beneath him. The moment he was flat again, another nurse started pressing on his chest.
“Jacob?” she asked moving toward him.
“Come here, darlin’. Let them work.”
“It would probably be better if you took her out in the hall. This could get messy.”
Jacob nodded as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed her face against his chest.
Noise. Too much noise. The loud beeping, shouting, calling out of things she didn’t understand pierced her being with terror. He’s dead. He’s dead.
They took a seat on a small couch down the hall from her father’s room. “What’s going to happen, Jacob?”
“I don’t know, honey. We’ll have to wait and see.”
“He’s dead, isn’t he?”
“Baby, I’m not a doctor, but things don’t look good. I don’t know what happened so I can’t guess what’s going on in there.”
“What’ll happen if he is dead? I never got to tell him about other things going on with me. I mean he doesn’t know about the motorcycle or the clothes. I told him about the bar, but we didn’t really discuss who I really am.”
“It’s God’s will. Whatever happens, it’s how things are supposed to be.” He ran his fingers up and down her arms.
Hot tears streaked down her face as she tried not to think about what was going on in her father’s room. She didn’t want to know. How would she deal with not having either parent? What would her life become without her father there to guide her?
“Don’t think about it for now.”
“I can’t help it. What’ll I do if he dies?”
“You still have me.”
“I know, but how will I cope not having a parent?”
“We’ll get through this together.”
“Thank you for being here with me.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
After what seemed like hours, the nurses and doctors filed out of her father’s room. One of the men walked toward her with a solemn look on his face. Her heart plummeted. No!
“Ms. Tyler?”
“Yes?” She stood with Jacob’s help, clinging onto his arm for dear life.
“I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything we could do.”
“No!”
“Since he’d had a stroke this morning, we fear anot
her one took his life. I’m so sorry.”
She slowly slid to the floor as racking sobs shook her frame. Jacob picked her up like she weighed no more than a child, to cradle her in his arms.
“Where can we go?”
“Follow me. The chapel is down the hall.”
Numbness enveloped her in its grasp. She felt nothing, heard nothing. She clung to Jacob’s shirt with a death grip. She couldn’t let go. It isn’t true. It can’t be true.
Jacob took a seat on the bench with her on his lap. The feeling of his arms around her held her together even though she felt like a piece of glass shattered into a million pieces.
“Take your time. We won’t move him until she’s ready.”
“Thank you.”
They sat that way for what seemed like hours. Jacob holding her while she cried into his shirt. The wet material clung to her cheek where she pressed it to her face. She needed his strength. He didn’t say anything, just held her.
“I’m sorry. I got you all wet.”
“No problem, darlin’. It’ll dry in no time.”
She sat up, but didn’t move off his lap. “We should make arrangements. Tell the church.”
“In time. There’s no rush.”
“I don’t even know his wishes. I’m assuming he wants to be buried next to my mother.”
“I expect so.”
She slowly got to her feet, wobbling slightly as she stood. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? You don’t look okay. You look pale and drawn.”
She saw red. “I just lost my father. What the hell do you think I’m going to look like, some fucking fashion model?”
“I know you’re upset, darlin’, but don’t take it out on me.”
“You don’t understand! I killed him!”
“What? No you didn’t. He probably had another stroke. The doctor said so.”
“But if I hadn’t told him about you and the bars, he might not have had the stroke in the first place.”
He cradled her in his arms as the tears came again. “Baby, strokes aren’t caused by stress. God called him home.”
“I hate God! I hate this whole thing! He took my mother and now he’s taken my father. I have no one!”
“You’ve always got me.”
“Do I really or will you leave me too?”
“I’m not going anywhere, darlin’.”
“How do I know that? What if you decide you don’t love me or you find someone else?”
“I do love you, Paige. I’m not going to find someone else. Stop talkin’ crazy.”
She stepped back, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She loved him. He looked hurt and confused. How could she do this to him? “I don’t know, Jacob. I need to get things taken care of for my father. Maybe you should go.”
“Go where?”
“Home. I’m sure you have work you need to get done on the ranch. I’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want to leave you, baby.” He reached for her, but she stepped out of his grasp. He dropped his arms to his side with a dejected sigh. “I’ll go because you asked me to, but know this, I love you and I’m not going to stop loving you any time soon.” He walked out of the chapel as she sank to her knees and cried.
Chapter Fourteen
The funeral was well attended. Everyone at the church came, even some of the new members including Jacob’s family. Jacob arrived with his parents, sitting in the back of the church, but she saw him just the same. Her heart ached for him to hold her, but she sat alone in the front pew dabbing her eyes as a friend of her father’s led the service. Several people got up to say a few words about how wonderful he was, how caring he was, and how thoughtful of each of his parishioners he’d been over his time at the church.
Soon afterward, they all filed out to the small cemetery at the back where they laid him to rest beside her mother. Once the service had concluded, the ladies of the church put on a small reception where they fed everyone.
Paige stood alone in the corner hoping no one would approach. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She didn’t want to see anyone. She only wanted one person, but he kept his distance even though his gaze never left her. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She didn’t want to give him the power to hurt her or leave her like her parents had done.
She felt cold, so cold.
“Are you okay?”
She looked up into Jacob’s brown eyes. A quick nod was all she could manage.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets like he was afraid to touch her and probably was. The last time he tried, she backed away from him like a frightened child, which is exactly what she felt like these days.
“Thank you for coming.”
“You thought I wouldn’t be here for you?”
“We didn’t part on good terms a few days ago.”
“I told you then and I’ll tell you again. I love you. I’ll always be here for you no matter what, but you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that I’m never going away. Yeah, your parents are gone, darlin’. People die. It’s the facts of life. I can’t promise I’ll die after you so you won’t be alone, but I’ll do my damnedest to make your life the best it can be while we have the next seventy to a hundred years together.”
“I don’t want to risk it.”
“You’d rather be alone than risk lovin’ me?”
“Yes.”
“Then we have nothin’ more to talk about. I guess I’ll see you around.”
He turned on his heels and walked away.
Paige started to shake. Her whole body vibrated as she ran her hands over her arms trying to calm the chills racing through her. Her teeth even clicked together.
“Are you all right, dear?” Mrs. Johnson asked as she stopped next to her. “You look pale.”
“N-no. I need to go home.” Black spots appeared before her eyes. Dizziness engulfed her. She slumped against the wall to try to catch her breath, but darkness pulled at her, tempting her to give into it to escape the pain surrounding her.
The next thing she became aware of was the softness of the comforter beneath her on the bed. She didn’t want to open her eyes, didn’t want to face what life had thrown at her the last couple of days.
A soft voice whispered in her ear as she felt fingers stroking her face. “Paige, baby, wake up.”
She slowly opened her eyes to see Jacob’s concerned face hovering over her. “What happened?”
“You passed out, I’m guessin’.”
“I’ve never fainted before in my life.”
“When did you eat last?”
She glanced at the ceiling as she tried to remember.
“That’s what I thought. I’m makin’ you somethin’ to eat. You stay right there in bed. I’ll be right back.” He climbed to his feet. “Don’t move a muscle.”
“Yes, sir.”
He actually smiled at that.
A little while later, he returned with a sandwich on a plate and some chips along with a cold glass of milk. “You can’t go without eating, Paige. I know you’ve been under a lot of stress, but it’s not good for you.”
“I know. It’s just been so busy with arranging things for my father and such.” She sat up higher in the bed before he placed the plate on her lap. “Thank you for doing this.”
“No problem. How are you feeling now?”
“Better. I got dizzy before.”
“I’ll stay until you feel better.”
“I’m fine, Jacob. You can go. I’m sure it was from not eating.”
He shoved his hands in his pocket like he was afraid to touch her. Did she want him to? Yes and no. If he did, they’d end up in her bed all meshed in a tangle of arms and legs. If he didn’t, he’d walk out of her life again. Right now, she needed him to leave before she threw herself at him and begged him to make love to her.
“I’ll go then. You have my number. Call me if you need anything.”
“I thought you didn’t want to see me again?”
�
�I can’t stop caring in a few days time, Paige. I still care a great deal. When I saw you sliding down the wall in a heap, my heart dropped into my stomach. I didn’t know what was wrong. I scooped you up and brought you here.”
“Why did your family attend the service? I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I respected your father and what he stood for. He was a good man. We came to pay our respects like any good Christian would do.”
She glanced down at her toes. He’d taken her shoes off so the only thing she could focus on was the pink painted toenails on each foot. He hadn’t come for her. She should have known. He wasn’t happy when they parted the other day. She couldn’t blame him. Pushing him out of her life because of her guilt over her father’s death seemed trivial now, but she didn’t know what to do. So many things needed to be taken care of. She would have to find a place to live. The church wouldn’t allow her to stay in the home they’d lived in for fifteen years if her father wasn’t their preacher anymore. The house would have to be cleaned out soon.
He shifted from foot to foot.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He leaned down to gently kiss her on the forehead. The temptation to tilt her head up so she could capture his mouth overwhelmed her before she fought the urge. It would do no good at this point.
“Bye, darlin’.”
“Bye, Jacob.”
* * * *
Jacob stepped out into the bright sunlight of the summer day. His chest ached for the woman lying in the bed upstairs. He loved her, but she apparently didn’t love him enough to try to make a go of this relationship they’d started. Walking away wasn’t really an option. Did he have a choice? She didn’t want him. It was something he had to face even though it came with difficulty. He’d never been in a position like this before. He knew he’d never loved Veronica. Even though she’d been pregnant with his child, he would have married her to give his child a father and a mother.
His father came around the corner of the church followed by the dog who had friended Paige. “Is everything all right, Jacob? I saw you carry Paige out the door.”
“Yeah. I think so anyway. She passed out. I carried her back here. She’s awake and eating a sandwich.”
“What happened?”
For the Love of a Cowboy (Cowboy Dreamin') Page 17
