“That's one way to look at it,” she said quietly. But Taryn was smiling with relief.
“How's his mother?” she asked, looking concerned.
“Collapsing, but fine. I took her to the gatehouse.”
“You'd think she'd rather stay at a hotel, with some service, at her age,” Coop said grandly. As always, he looked as immaculate and as elegant as he had that morning, when he left to do the commercial.
“Maybe she can't afford it,” Alex said practically, “and she's not as old as we expected.”
Coop seemed surprised though not particularly interested in the entire drama. He'd had enough of it. “How old is she?”
“I don't know. She looks about forty-two, forty-three, forty-five tops maybe… but she must be in her early fifties.”
“She's fifty-three,” Taryn supplied. “I asked her. She looks amazing. She looks more like his sister.”
“Well, at least we don't have to worry about her falling and breaking a hip at the gatehouse,” Coop teased. He was happy the entire story was over, and relieved for Jimmy of course, but he disliked melodrama. Now they could all go back to normal. “Well, what are we all doing tomorrow?” he asked happily. He had made some money, and he was in fine spirits. And now Jimmy was going to be fine too. Even Coop was pleased for him, and Alex was relieved to see that he cared.
“I'm working,” Alex said, laughing.
“Again?” He looked disappointed. “How boring. I think you should take a day off and we'll go shopping on Rodeo.”
“I'd love that,” Alex smiled at him, he was so loving and boyish at times, it was hard to stay angry at him. She had been upset with him over the whole incident with Jimmy. It was a side of him that had surprised her, and recognizing what he couldn't handle and didn't feel really hurt. “I think the hospital would be a little upset if I didn't show up for work because I went shopping. That would be a tough one to explain.”
“Tell them you have a headache. Tell them you think there's asbestos in the place and you're going to sue.”
“Maybe I'll just go to work,” Alex laughed at him. And at midnight they all went to bed. She and Coop made love, and she kissed him as he slept when she left for work the next morning. She had forgiven him his lack of sympathy for Jimmy. Some people just couldn't handle emergencies or medical problems. They were so familiar to her that it was hard for her to understand it. But not everyone could do what she did, she told herself. She felt a powerful need to make excuses for him. She was willing to give him a break on this one. In fact, for her own sanity, she needed to. Love, in her eyes at least, was about compassion, compromise, and forgiveness. Coop's definition might have been a little different. It was about beauty, elegance, and romance. And it had to be easy. Therein lay the problem. In Alex's mind, love wasn't always easy. But it had to be for Coop. It was a serious glitch.
She stopped in to see Jimmy during lunch that day. His mother had just gone to the cafeteria for a sandwich, and they chatted for a minute about how great she was. Alex said she loved her, and Jimmy agreed with her. He was lying quietly on his bed, and they were going to move him out of the ICU by the next morning.
“Thanks for hanging around while I was out cold. Mom says you were with her all day yesterday. That was nice of you, Alex. Thank you.”
“I didn't want her to be alone here. That's pretty scary for anyone,” she said, looking at him, and then decided to brave it. He was well enough for her to ask the question that had been tormenting her since it had happened. “So what was with the accident? I assume you hadn't been drinking.” She was sitting very close to him, and he took her hand in his without thinking.
“No, I hadn't… I don't know, I guess the car got out of control. Old tires… old brakes… old something…”
“Is that what you wanted?” she asked softly. “Did you make it happen or did you let it?” Her voice was almost a whisper as he paused for a long moment and looked at her.
“To be honest with you, Alex, I'm not sure I've asked myself the same question. I was in a daze… I was thinking about her…it was her birthday on Sunday…. I think for just a fraction of a second, I let it happen. I think I started to skid, and I just let it go, and when I tried to stop it, I couldn't, and then it was all over, and I woke up here.” It was exactly what she suspected. And he looked as horrified as she felt as she listened. “It's a hell of an admission. I wouldn't ever do it again, but for that one second, I just threw it to the Fates… and fortunately, they threw it right back at me.”
“You took a hell of a chance,” she said sadly. It hurt her to think that he was in that much pain, and had been for a long time. It was a terrible way to learn a lesson. He had confronted all his own miseries and terrors, and lived to tell it. “I think some good therapy is in order.”
“Yeah. So do I. I'd been thinking that lately anyway. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I felt like I was drowning, and I couldn't come back up to the surface. It sounds crazy to say it,” he said as he looked at his casts and the monitors, “I actually feel better now.” And he looked it.
“I'm glad to hear it,” Alex said with relief, “I'm going to keep an eye on you now. I'm going to ride your ass till I see you jumping for joy all the way down the drive from the gatehouse.”
He laughed at the vision she'd created. “I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of jumping.” He was going to be in a wheelchair for a while, and then on crutches. His mother had already volunteered to stay and take care of him for the duration. The doctors thought that in six or eight weeks he'd be walking. He was already fretting about going back to work as soon as he could manage, which was a good sign. “Alex,” he said cautiously, “thanks for caring. How did you know what happened?” he asked, impressed that she had figured out the part he himself had played in the accident. She was a very caring person.
“I'm a doctor, remember?”
“Oh yeah, that. But preemies don't drive cars off cliffs, generally speaking.”
“I just figured. I don't know why, but I knew the minute Mark told me. I think I felt it.”
“You're a smart woman.”
“I care about you a lot,” she said seriously, and he nodded. He cared about her too, but he was afraid to say it.
Alex went back to work when his mother returned with her sandwich, and she sang Alex's praises to Jimmy. Valerie was curious about her.
“Mark says she's Cooper Winslow's girlfriend. Isn't he a little old for her?” his mother asked with interest. She hadn't met Coop yet, but she knew who he was, and had heard a lot about him from both his tenants and Alex.
“Apparently, she doesn't think so,” Jimmy answered.
“What's he like?” his mother asked, munching turkey on whole wheat. Jimmy was still on a soft diet, and watching her made him hungry. It was the first time in a long time that he actually remembered being hungry. Maybe what he had said was right, he thought to himself, maybe he had finally exorcised his demons. He had gone right to the edge and jumped off, and, no thanks to himself, had landed safely. Maybe in a crazy way, the accident would prove to be a blessing in the end.
“Coop is arrogant, handsome, charming, debonair, and selfish as hell,” Jimmy answered his mother's question. “The only problem is, she doesn't see it,” he said, looking annoyed.
“Don't be so sure,” Valerie said quietly, wondering if he was in love with her, or even knew it. “Women have a way of seeing things and not choosing to deal with them until later. They file them. But it's not that they don't see them. And she's a very bright young woman.”
“She's brilliant,” Jimmy defended her, which confirmed his mother's suspicions about his feelings, whether or not he was aware.
“I suspect she is. She won't make a mistake. Maybe he suits her for the time being, although I must say, they seem like an odd combination, from everything I've heard about him.”
But she was impressed the next day when they moved Jimmy to a private room, and Coop sent him a gigantic bouquet of
flowers. She wondered if Alex had sent them for him, and then realized she hadn't. It was the kind of bouquet a man would send, and not a woman. A man who was used to knocking women right off their feet and bowling them over. It didn't even occur to Coop to send fewer than four dozen roses.
“Do you think he wants to marry me?” Jimmy teased his mother.
“I hope not!” she said, laughing at him. But she also hoped Coop didn't want to marry Alex either. She deserved better than an aging movie star, Valerie knew, after talking to her for hours. She needed a young man who loved her and cared about her and would be there for her, and would give her babies. Like Jimmy. But Valerie knew better than to say anything to either of them. They were friends, and for the moment, it was all either of them wanted.
Alex came to see Jimmy every day, when she was working, and when she wasn't. She came down to see him on her breaks, and brought him books to keep him entertained, and told him funny stories. She even brought him a remote-controlled fart machine, so he could wreak havoc with the nurses. It wasn't dignified, but he adored it. And late at night, she would come down quietly, and they spent long hours talking about things that mattered. His work, hers, his parents' marriage, his life with Maggie, the agonizing way he missed her. She told him about Carter and her sister. About her parents, and the relationship she had wanted with them as a child, and never had, because both of them were incapable of it. Little by little, they fed each other their secrets and tested uncharted waters. They were entirely unaware of it, and had anyone asked, they would have insisted it was friendship. Only Valerie knew better. She was highly suspicious of the label they put on it. The brew they were concocting was far more potent, whether or not they knew it. And she was happy for them. The only fly in the ointment, as far as she could see, was Coop.
And that weekend, she got a look at the fly for herself. She hadn't met him until then. And she had to admit, he was very impressive. He was everything Jimmy had said he was, egotistical, self-centered, arrogant, entertaining, and charming. But there was more to him than that. Jimmy just wasn't old enough to see it, or mature enough to understand it. What she saw in Coop was a man who was vulnerable, and scared. No matter how youthful he looked, or how many young women he surrounded himself with, he knew the game was almost over. He was terrified, she realized. Of being sick, of being old, of losing his looks, of dying. His refusal to deal with Jimmy's accident in any form told her that. And so did his eyes. There was a sad man behind the laughter. And no matter how charming Coop was, she felt sorry for him. He was a man who was afraid to face his demons. The rest was just window dressing. But she knew Jimmy would never have understood it if she'd tried to explain it to him. And the nonsense about the girl having the baby was just food for his ego. Even if he complained about it, she sensed instinctively that there was a part of it which flattered him, and he brought it up to torture Alex, just to remind her subliminally that there were other women who wanted his babies. It meant he was not only young, but potent.
She didn't think Alex was genuinely in love with him. She was impressed with him, and he was the attentive father she'd always wanted and never conquered. They were an interesting group, Valerie decided. And she thought Mark and Taryn were perfect for each other.
But more than anything, she found Coop's complexities fascinating. And at first glance, he appeared to be unimpressed by her. Valerie was by no means the profile of the women he courted. She was old enough to be their mother. What he did like, he told Alex later, as they lay in bed and rehashed the evening, was Valerie's graciousness, her style, her simple elegance. She had worn gray slacks and a gray sweater and a string of pearls. There was nothing pretentious about her. And the fact that she didn't try to appear young, actually made her look it. There was a distinct sense of class and breeding about her.
“It's a shame she doesn't have money,” Coop said sympathetically. “She looks like she ought to have it. But then again,” he laughed, “we all should.” Alex was the only one in the group who did, in vast abundance, and it was wasted on her. She really didn't care whether or not she did. Just as he felt youth was wasted on the young, money was wasted on the overly philanthropic. He thought money was meant to be spent and have a good time with. Alex hid hers, or ignored it. She needed lessons in how to spend it. Lessons he could easily have given her, but hesitated to for the moment. His conscience again, damnably. He was still trying to overcome it. It was new to him, and becoming an infernal nuisance.
Coop saw Valerie again the next day, at the pool. She was sitting in the shade of his favorite tree. She had taken the day off from visiting Jimmy, and was going to see him that evening. She lay on a chaise longue in a perfectly simple black bikini, and did herself credit wearing it. She had a very reasonable body. Both Alex and Taryn were envious of her and hoped they looked half as good at her age. And when they'd said so, Valerie said she was just lucky, she had good genes, and did very little to maintain it. But she was grateful for the praise of the younger women.
Coop invited her up to the house for a glass of champagne afterwards, and she came, just to say she had seen it, and was surprised by how beautiful it was, and how restrained. There was nothing showy about the house. It was all in perfect taste, with splendid antiques and exquisite fabrics. It was definitely the house of a grown-up, as she put it, when discussing it later with Jimmy. And once again, she thought Alex was out of place there. But they seemed happy together.
She was actually beginning to think that Coop was serious about Alex. He was so solicitous, so attentive, so loving. He was obviously smitten with her, but it was hard to tell with Coop how much depth there was to anything. He kept everything in his life on the surface, particularly his emotions. But she could easily see him marrying her, even if for the wrong reasons, to prove something, or worse, to slide into the Madison money. Valerie hoped, for Alex's sake, that there was more sincerity to it than that, but it was difficult to determine. In any case, Alex didn't appear to be worried about it. She was perfectly at home with him, and happy staying at The Cottage, particularly with Taryn.
“You've got adorable friends,” Valerie commented to Jimmy that night, when she visited him at the hospital. And she told him how much she liked Coop's house, and even the gatehouse. “I can see why you love it.” She did too. It had a rural quality, and one had a sense of peace there.
“Did Coop put the make on you?” he asked with interest.
“Of course not,” his mother laughed at him. “I'm about thirty years too old for him. He's smarter than that. Women my age see right through him. It would do him good actually, but I haven't got the energy for a man like Coop,” she said, smiling at Jimmy. “It's too much work to train them.” She didn't have the energy for any man, or the desire. Those days were over for her, as she always said. She was content to live on her own, and to be spending time with Jimmy. She had promised to see him through his convalescence and he was looking forward to spending time with her. He hadn't done that in years, and he enjoyed her company. Aside from mother and son, they were best friends.
“Maybe you should give Alex a run for her money,” he teased her.
“Not likely, my darling,” she laughed, “she'd win hands down, and she deserves to.” Whether or not it was good for her was another question which remained to be seen.
Chapter 21
By June, the romance between Taryn and Mark was progressing nicely. They carried on as discreetly as they could. Neither she nor Mark wanted to upset his children. But both Jessica and Jason were extremely comfortable with her. So much so that by the end of school, they didn't want to go to New York to see their mother. She had only seen them once since they'd been there. And when Janet called Mark to talk about it, she was insistent that they come East. What's more, she wanted them to stay with her until after the wedding. She was marrying Adam over the Fourth of July weekend.
“I'm not going,” Jessica told her father stubbornly when they discussed it. And Jason had said he would do whatever she
did, or didn't. Jessica was still furious with her mother. “I want to stay here with you, and see my friends. And I'm not going to the wedding.”
“That's a separate issue, and we can talk about that later. Jessica, you cannot refuse to see your mother.”
“Yes, I can. She left you for that asshole.”
“That's between me and your mother, and it's none of your business,” Mark said firmly. But it was obvious to him that Janet had really burned her bridges, or damaged them badly. And Adam hadn't helped her. He had been outspoken and overbearing with the kids, and made it obvious to them that he'd been involved with their mother before she left California. If nothing else, it was stupid of them. And it had hurt Janet badly with her children. But sooner or later, Mark felt, they had to forgive her. “You still have to see her. Come on, Jess,” Mark wheedled, “she loves you.”
“I love her too,” Jessie said honestly, “but I'm mad at her.” She had just turned sixteen, and she was in deep conflict with her mother. Jason remained more of a bystander, but it was clear that he was disappointed in her. And in truth, he was happier living with his father, and so was Jessie. “And I'm not going back to school there.” He hadn't even begun to broach that, but Janet wanted them back with her as soon as possible, and in school in New York in the fall.
In the end, he had to call Janet back to discuss it with her.
“I can't sell it, Janet. I'm trying, but the kids aren't buying. They don't want to come to New York now, and they're adamant about not coming to the wed-ding.”
“They can't do that,” she said, bursting into tears as soon as she said it. “You have to make them!”
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