by Bonds, Javan
And when she's in her bikini on the river bank,
All the boys are out there looking for a god to thank.
We call her boy 'Big Mike' although he's six foot two,
And he likes to be the boy behind the barbecue.
It's a good time, and a big free-for-all...
Or it was until the moment that the zombies came to call.
So run for the river, run for the trees,
Run faster than the next guy, honey, if you please.
We came out to the lakeside for a holiday,
Now it seems we're in the wrong in 'predator and prey'.
We came out for the fish, we came out for the fun,
But we're captives now in the zombie river run.
Well, Dave was first to see them, took it for a joke;
He was standing by the forest sucking down a Coke.
When they grabbed and started chewing he was real surprised,
And that's about the time we came to realize
That the locals had decided to crash our soiree
Despite their state of fairly well-advanced decay.
It wasn't very social at all...
But that's the crap that happens when the zombies come to call.
We tried to hold them off, but they would not turn back,
It was another stupid clip from 'When the Dead Attack'.
Then Mike got real annoyed and started spitting flames,
While Suzy summoned demons by their secret names.
Bambi shed her skin and started to constrict,
And that's when all those zombies knew that they'd been tricked.
We aren't all that normal at all...
I guess this is the last time that the zombies come to call.
So run for the river, run for the trees,
Run faster than the next guy, honey, if you please.
We came out to the lakeside for a holiday,
Now it seems we're in the wrong in 'predator and prey'.
We came out for the fish, we came out for the fun,
But we're captives now in the zombie river run.
We're a simple little family, and we like our lake,
And if you want to make us cranky, that's a big mistake,
Because we bring the whole damn family out every year,
And we only want our peace -- I hope I've made that clear.
It's not hard to form a posse when you've got a brood,
And I only hope this warning won't be misconstrued,
Because if anybody bugs us at all...
You'll be wishing things were clear as when the zombies came to call.
Written on: 2006-07-26.
“Zombie River Run” Copyright © 2006 Seanan McGuire
