“Sounds nice.”
“It was.” Avery picked up his tea again, and it was cool enough to take a big gulp. “We fought, of course. Sometimes we’d go hours without speaking to each other, but it never lasted long. One or both of us would apologize, and we’d move on. I—” Avery sat up so suddenly that some tea splashed over his hand.
Jameson was instantly on alert. “What?”
Avery shook his head. He couldn’t speak. In the past, on the rare occasions he spoke about Luke out loud, the pain in his chest had been too much to handle. But instead it was like a comforting blanket—wonderful memories shared with someone important. What the hell?
“Avery?” Jameson’s tone was all concern.
“I’m okay. Just got lost in thought for a minute.” That was all he was willing to say on the subject. As close as he felt to Jameson—and surprisingly, he did—he wasn’t ready to share that revelation, not until he had lots of time to mull it over. He just couldn’t.
“You sure?”
When Avery nodded, Jameson blew out a breath. Avery watched him out of the corner of his eye. A myriad of emotions played over Jameson’s expressive face. He was really very handsome. A little young, perhaps, but he had strong features that suited him well—a long straight nose, dark thick brows, and a wide, generous mouth that made Avery think of wicked things.
Where had that thought come from?
Avery couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sexual thoughts. He hadn’t even entertained the idea since Luke got sick. It had taken months after Luke’s death for Avery’s dick to even start working again, and even then, he just took care of it himself. He hadn’t been able to look at another man in any way but platonic for the past fourteen years. Why now? Why Jameson?
“Avery? What’s going on? You look a little lost.” Concern had given way to outright worry in Jameson’s tone.
“Is there any peanut butter in the cupboards?”
Jameson blinked, mouth open, at Avery’s question. Then he shook himself.
“I can check.”
“And saltines. It’s my favorite snack.”
Jameson’s expression softened. “Let me go look. And if there isn’t, I’ll get some from the cafeteria.”
“Thank you.”
Avery watched Jameson walk toward the kitchen, but he didn’t turn all the way around. He needed a moment to sort out his thoughts. Christ. He didn’t need this. He didn’t want this.
Did he?
He missed Luke… loved him. But his mind and body didn’t rebel anymore at the thought of another man touching him, as long as that man was Jameson. And that didn’t make any sense. When he lost Luke, he thought he’d be alone for the rest of his life. And sure, he had ninety or so years left to his considerable life span, but after being bonded, it seemed like a small price to pay. Maybe he didn’t think that anymore.
Jameson returned with a small plate of peanut-butter-covered crackers, a box of saltines, and a jar of peanut butter tucked under his arm. He handed the plate over and set the rest of his wares on the table.
“You start on that, and I’ll get you more tea. Then I’ll make you some more crackers.”
Now that, Avery could handle. He was used to being cared for, and the part of him that made him a ghostwalker also craved it. Everything else, all those other thoughts, could wait.
Besides, just because he was suddenly attracted to Jameson didn’t mean he had to act on it.
Was it sudden, though? Or was he just finally acknowledging his attraction? Had his mind and heart finally caught up with his body? Avery shook his head and picked up a cracker. He was still too raw, too emotional. He’d think about it later.
“Can you bring me my tablet on your way back?” Avery called. “We need to write our reports.”
“You got it.”
Avery settled back and ate his crackers. Focus on the now, worry about everything else later. Yes.
Chapter Twelve
JAMESON loved listening to Avery talk about Luke. The passion in Avery’s voice, the fondness and affection, was wonderful to hear. He could have sat there on the couch and listened to Avery for the rest of the day, if that’s what Avery wanted to do.
He also hated it in equal measure, because there was a part of him that was jealous. He’d been attracted to Avery from the moment he saw him, and to hear about Avery’s great love was like a knife in the gut.
But Luke was a part of Avery. His relationship with Luke had helped to shape Avery into the man he was, and that man had Jameson’s entire attention. So he couldn’t begrudge the time Avery had spent with Luke, even if he wanted to. Besides, he wouldn’t take that kind of love away from Avery. No matter what, there was a piece of Avery’s heart that would always belong to Luke, and that was how it should be.
So the jealousy was there, but it was low-level, and Jameson would ignore it. He couldn’t compete with a dead man, and more than that, he didn’t have to. Nothing would come of his feelings for Avery. But even on the slim chance that something could, Luke was part of Avery’s past and he couldn’t dismiss him.
After the crackers, Avery’s appetite came back full force, so Jameson made sandwiches and they sat at the small table to eat. Avery’s color had brightened, and though he was still a little unsteady and winced if he moved too fast, he looked a lot better.
“Tell me about your family,” Avery said around a mouthful of potato chips. A little piece flew out, and Avery looked embarrassed, but Jameson laughed.
“Classy.” Jameson wiped it up with a napkin. He shook his head, still chuckling. “My family?”
Avery nodded. He swallowed before he spoke again. “Sure. Are you close?”
Jameson’s heart gave a painful thump. “Ah, no. Not really.”
Avery’s expression sobered, but Jameson waved a hand in a dismissive gesture.
“No, don’t look like that. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Jameson blew out a breath and ate the last two bites of his sandwich. Then he took a long swallow of water. “We were never close, really. I mean, it was just me and my dad. My mom took off when I was a kid, and my dad worked long hours just to keep me fed and in clothes that fit. I grew like a weed.” Jameson glanced down at his body meaningfully, and Avery gave a tiny laugh. “It wasn’t bad or anything. And we still talk every once in a while, but… you know. He doesn’t understand why I want to do this. He’s a mechanic, and working with his hands is the thing that makes sense to him. He doesn’t care that I’m gay, but I think that’s only because he’s never had to see it.”
Avery blinked. “Jameson, I’m sorry.”
Jameson shrugged. He’d come to terms with it a long time ago. “Really, it’s not a big deal. I’ve made some great friends in the program, so I’ve got support and—”
A loud bang at the door cut Jameson off, and they both whipped around to stare at it in surprise.
“Avery Wagner, open this door right now.”
Avery’s startled expression turned into one of amusement. “Christ, that man,” he grumbled. He stood up and wobbled a little, so Jameson gently pushed him back into the chair.
“I’ll get it.”
Jameson crossed the room quickly and opened the door to find a worried and angry-looking Michael King. Mr. King didn’t even spare Jameson a glance. He just pushed by him, glanced around, and headed straight for Avery.
“Are you okay?”
Avery chuckled and took the hug, but then he pushed out of Mr. King’s embrace.
“I’m fine.”
Mr. King arched an eyebrow, and Avery smacked him on the shoulder. “Really. Jameson’s been taking the best care of me. You interrupted dinner.” Avery motioned to the table.
Mr. King didn’t look. “Tyler was trying out a new anchor, and it wasn’t going well, which is why I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, Avery. I know—”
“Stop.” Avery held up a hand and then reached out toward Jameson and motioned him back over.
Jameson approached them carefully. Th
ere was an air about Mr. King that Jameson didn’t like. Oh, it was clear that he cared about Avery’s well-being, but that rankled too. Jameson was the one taking care of Avery. He had it under control. And it bothered him to have it questioned. He wanted to say as much, but he knew it wasn’t the time or place, so he held his tongue.
But it was a challenge.
“Okay.” Mr. King blew out a breath. He threw a glare over his shoulder at Jameson, and Jameson met his gaze steadily. Then Mr. King turned his attention back to Avery. “Well, if you’re ready to go home, I’ll take you.”
“Jameson will take me.”
Jameson’s jaw started to drop, but he caught it and snapped it closed. That was the last thing he expected. He thought Avery would jump at the chance to have his friend take him home. But he was pleased. It showed that Avery really trusted him. And that meant more to him than he could verbalize.
“Of course.” Jameson had to clear his throat. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Avery, you sure?”
Avery scowled. “People need to stop asking me that. If I say I am, then I am.”
Jameson was shocked when Mr. King chuckled. He stared at them both, and Mr. King smiled.
“There’s the Avery I know. Okay, then. I’ll see you later.”
He shot Jameson another look, one that clearly said, “You better take care of him,” and then turned and strode from the suite. Jameson stared at the closed door for a long moment. When he turned back to Avery, he was smiling.
“Are you, uh, ready to get out of here? Or do you need some more time?”
“I’m ready,” Avery said. “I need to sleep, but I’ll do it much better in my bed, even if it’s my temporary one.”
“Then let’s go.”
Jameson made Avery sit back down while he cleaned up, and then together they headed for the seventh floor. Avery’s things were still in the conference room, though someone had thoughtfully packed them up. Jameson picked up Avery’s bag, and they took the elevator down to the first floor.
Jameson’s car was in the lot next to the newly built dorm building, where he was staying for the duration of the training. It wasn’t far, but he still didn’t want Avery to walk the distance. It took a little coaxing, but finally he got Avery to sit in the plush and well-appointed lobby while he retrieved his car. When he pulled it to a stop right in front of the main doors to the building, Avery was already walking toward him.
Avery had to give him directions to where he was staying, and though it only took about fifteen minutes, Avery was fading with each one that passed. He actually had to nudge Avery awake when they got to the community full of condos, because he didn’t know which was the right one. Avery sat up a little, rubbed his eyes, and then pointed down the street.
“I hope Blake and Derek are home, or else I won’t be able to get in.” He pointed to the condo, and Jameson slowed as he rolled up to the curb.
“It’s pretty late. I think everyone is gone for the day.”
Avery yawned as Jameson turned off the car and then scrambled out and jogged around the front. When he got to the passenger side, Avery had pushed open the door, but that was as far as he got. Jameson reached in and unbuckled the seat belt. If he took the opportunity to inhale Avery’s scent, well, no one could blame him. Avery smelled wonderful. Then he helped Avery to stand, grabbed his bag, and put an arm around him to lead him up the walk.
The door was open when they got there, and a big African-American man gave them a warm smile as they approached.
“You must be Jameson,” he said in a warm, rumbly voice. “I’m Derek. Welcome to our home.”
“Thank you,” Jameson murmured. He readjusted his hold on Avery when he stumbled.
“Right to bed, I think,” Derek chuckled, and he moved aside to let them through. “His room is upstairs. First door on the right.”
“I want waffles in the morning,” Avery mumbled and then yawned widely.
“Then you shall have waffles,” Derek agreed, and he took Avery’s bag from Jameson’s shoulder as they passed.
Jameson gave a nod to the other man he saw standing in the living room, and the man smiled back. He looked a lot like Sam Jones, and Jameson’s brain put two and two together. He knew Sam’s brother Blake was a ghostwalker too, and that he worked under Mr. King, which meant Derek was his anchor.
Avery stopped when they got to the stairs, and his eyes went wide as he took them in. “I think they added extra stairs.”
Jameson chuckled. An overly tired Avery was an especially adorable Avery.
“You can do it. I’m right here. I’ll help you.”
Avery sighed, but he sounded happy. “Of course. You’ve been right there for me the whole time.”
Jameson’s heart leapt at the confidence in Avery’s voice. He stepped in behind Avery as they started to climb the stairs, and kept his hands on Avery’s hips so he was steady. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he looked down and checked out Avery’s ass and swallowed hard.
They made it to the top, and Avery listed to the side as Jameson steered him through the door. Once they were inside, Avery pushed away and sat down hard on the edge of the bed. He looked down at his feet, and Jameson immediately dropped to his knees to remove Avery’s shoes and socks—Avery even had gorgeous feet—and then straightened up to help Avery pull off his shirt.
“Pants too?”
Avery nodded and pointed to the dresser. “Second drawer. Sleep pants and a T-shirt.”
Jameson retrieved the requested items, and when he turned around, Avery was standing there in nothing but his boxer briefs, and Jameson swallowed hard at all that exposed skin. Avery was trim and leanly muscled, and there was a light dusting of hair on his chest, stomach, and legs. Avery didn’t seem to notice his regard. He just took the clothes and clumsily began to pull them on.
Jameson stepped around him and pulled down the comforter and sheet so he wouldn’t stare at Avery like some kind of pervert. When he was done, Avery had finished donning his sleepwear. He slid onto the mattress with a surprisingly sensuous move, and then rolled over onto his stomach. Jameson pulled the covers up over him.
For an awkward moment, Jameson just stood there. Then he took a chance and slid his fingers into Avery’s hair, rubbed his scalp for a moment, and then pulled away. Avery looked beautiful lying there in bed, and Jameson wished he didn’t have to say goodbye.
“Sleep well, Avery.”
“Stay.”
Jameson froze. The word was so quiet, he wasn’t sure he’d heard it. But Avery’s eyes were open and he was staring at him, so Jameson took a step closer to the bed. With a deliberate if not entirely coordinated movement, Avery slid farther over on the mattress.
“Can you stay?”
“If you want me to,” Jameson responded, surprised he managed to get the words out of his suddenly dry throat.
Avery nodded as Jameson slipped off his shoes and then pushed off his jeans. He left his boxers and T-shirt on, and then slid under the covers. Avery reached out and wrapped a hand around Jameson’s wrist.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, his eyes closing. A moment later he was asleep.
Jameson couldn’t contain the grin. He stared up at the darkened ceiling and reveled in the closeness. Avery wanted him there, and Jameson was more than happy to give Avery whatever he needed.
Chapter Thirteen
AVERY’S warm weight against him made Jameson wake with a smile. Sometime in the night, they’d gone from sort of holding hands to wrapped around each other. Jameson so enjoyed having Avery tucked against his front that he thought about skipping training and staying in bed all day. But he knew he couldn’t, and a glance at the clock showed him he needed to get moving.
Jameson kissed the side of Avery’s head and slowly untangled their limbs. Avery had one of Jameson’s hands wrapped tightly in his own, and Jameson’s right leg was wedged between Avery’s knees. He moved the leg without issue, but when he tried to extricate his hand, Avery stirred
and clung tighter.
“Go back to sleep,” Jameson whispered in his ear.
Avery snuffled against his pillow, gave a tiny hum, and murmured, “’Kay.”
God, he was so cute.
Smiling, Jameson got carefully out of bed. He found his jeans and shirt, tugged them on, and then grabbed his shoes and headed downstairs. It was early yet, but he wasn’t surprised to hear noises coming from the kitchen. When Jameson stepped off the last stair, Derek stuck his head through the kitchen door and offered him a smile.
“Leaving?”
Jameson nodded. “I have to get back to the dorm and shower, and change before things start. Avery’s still asleep, though. I didn’t want to wake him.”
“He needs it.” Derek tossed a dish towel over his shoulder as he stepped into the living room. “I’m making waffles.”
“He’ll appreciate that.” Jameson sat on the bottom step to pull on his sneakers. “I don’t know what time he’s supposed to go in today. Do you?”
“I’ll find out,” Derek said easily as he leaned a shoulder against the jamb.
“Thanks. And you’ll make sure he eats and hydrates some more?”
Derek chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m pretty well adept at taking care of ghostwalkers.”
Jameson knew that was true, but it didn’t stop his worry—no, worry wasn’t the right word—concern. He wanted to make sure Avery had everything he needed. Yesterday had been intense for him.
He glanced up at the ceiling and wondered if he should wake Avery and let him know he was going. He didn’t want Avery to think he snuck out, because that wasn’t what he was doing. But he knew how much Avery needed the sleep, so instead he asked Derek for paper and a pen and left Avery a note, asking him to come find him when he got to the office.
Derek took it and assured Jameson he’d make sure Avery got it. Then Jameson accepted the travel mug of coffee Derek offered and headed out the door knowing Avery was in good hands until he saw him again.
Somebody to Die For Page 9
