by Lizzy Ford
“One step at a time,” Summer said.
Morgan blinked and realized she was standing dumbly in the middle of the room. “Sorry. Just …” Flustered, she started forward again.
“I understand.” Summer’s smile was genuine.
Morgan studied the quiet girl. The last time they’d seen one another, they were locked in a stone coffin and left to suffocate by Dawn. Summer had been hurt. “You look really good, Summer. I wondered how … how everyone was.”
“We’re all healthy,” Summer replied. “Connor, too.”
Morgan’s spirits dampened at the mention of her brother. She pulled away from Summer to finish the unexpectedly taxing trek to the bathroom. She was exhausted, weak and hungry – and the last thing she wanted to deal with was how she was going to tell Beck and Connor why she’d left.
And why she had to leave again in order to protect them, the Light and all the witchlings from the soul stone Dawn wanted to use to destroy them. She had to find a way out of the hospital, to bypass the edgy twins in the hallway outside and Summer in her room.
Closing the bathroom door behind her, Morgan leaned against it briefly to rest. I’m in no shape to run anywhere. Desperation unfurled within her, and she swallowed the urge to cry. If Dawn had drowned her in her apartment, she’d quickly figure out to check the local hospitals.
“I’ll get you some clothes!” Summer called.
With irritation, Morgan realized she needed something more than a hospital gown if she was going to leave. “Thanks.” She tested her body, relieved to discover she was healthy, just fatigued.
Twenty minutes later, she emerged after a hot shower, the scrubbed soul stone in hand. Her body temperature stabilized without it to mess with her system, and she sat down on her bed in a towel with a sigh. Summer had left clothing folded on her bed next to a baggy of homemade cookies. Morgan couldn’t stop the smile that started to form when she touched the warm treats, knowing full well who had brought them. Beck could survive off cookies. While she liked them, she needed real food.
Still, the offering touched her. If anything, he should hate her for almost killing him then lying to him about what happened.
Maybe he does. She toyed with the cookies. Maybe he was concerned for her the way he was for every witchling, because he was a good person and good people didn’t run away and hurt those who cared about them.
The idea that Beck was there as a friend, that he had gotten over her or worse, was unable to forgive her, struck her hard enough that she doubled over with invisible pain. Morgan forced shallow breaths through her tight throat, unable to straighten until she had calmed some of her emotions. There had been a time when she trusted him, and for the most part, she still did. What she couldn’t trust: herself and her ability to protect him from the stone when she knew without a drop of doubt it was bad for him.
Which meant she was, too.
Why, then, did the sight and thought of him after so long still hurt and fill her with such exhilaration, she wanted nothing more than to let her fire tangle with his calmer earth magick and for their bodies to tangle with one another the same way?
She nibbled on a cookie then set it aside and got dressed. Summer had guessed her sizes correctly. The designer jeans, top and cardigan felt soft and expensive while the booties were comfortable and trendy. Morgan felt one step closer to normal with the nice clothing. She wrangled the tangles out of her hair and managed to subdue the wild curls with a little water then tucked the soul stone into her pocket and glanced towards the windows.
With any luck, she was on the ground floor and could jump out and run. The fleeting hope was crushed the moment she peered out the window to see she was on the fourth floor of the hospital.
She leaned her hips against the walls below the window with a sigh and nibbled on another cookie.
“Can I come in?” Beck’s muffled words were accompanied by a tap at the door.
Her heart skipped then raced. Morgan started to panic and drew a deep breath. “Yes.” She prepared herself mentally as much as possible before turning to face him. She needed to push him away, to let him know in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t welcome in her life and she was leaving.
The moment the door opened, her courage melted, and all she could think about was taking away the hurt she saw in his gorgeous teal eyes.
Beck closed the door behind him it, studying her. He wore a goatee, and she inadvertently recalled how sexy he had looked with a day of scruff on his features after the night they’d spent cuddling. She could almost smell the cookies on him, feel the soothing warmth of his magick and his body heat. The memories of their kisses, of how he’d held her, rendered her breathless, aching … scared she’d lost everything.
She crossed her arms, unable to stop her fire’s reaction to his presence. Her magick adored him and how he fed her passion and emotions, how he managed to soothe her, too, the way no one else could. She’d always experienced a sense of safety in his arms, something she’d never known anywhere else.
He walked towards her deliberately, holding her gaze as if aware she wanted to flee. This part of him she had forgotten, too, the confident, self-assured man who never suffered from her problem of constant instability. His earth magick was touching her ahead of his step, and she eased back. If he were anyone else, her father or uncle or even Connor, he’d be furious.
She couldn’t read him. “Don’t be angry,” she whispered. And don’t hurt me. She hated this thought most, the fear instilled in her by caretakers who went off in rages whenever she upset or disappointed them.
“I’m not angry,” Beck said and paused two steps before her. “And I’d never hurt you.”
She lifted her chin without looking away from his green-blue gaze. How he heard that, she didn’t know. Any hope she had of them not being in the middle of a relationship she couldn’t define was gone. He had once told her they were meant to be together. She had fought the idea, the feeling, the instinct.
But it was impossible. She was already falling into him again, and she wanted to let go and fall the rest of the way.
“I, uh …” Beck cleared his throat. “Wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Yeah.” There were no signs the soul stone had left permanent damage after he touched it. If anything, Beck radiated with Light and warmth far greater than he had before. She almost didn’t believe the witchling capable of wielding all the Light in the world had remotely cared about her. She was unimportant, insignificant in the world. It didn’t seem possible, given her horrific lot in life thus far. “You?”
Beck reached out to her. She winced instinctively as his warm palm cupped her cheek. Instantly, his earth magick moved through her with the warmth of a comforting, hot bath. Her tension melted, and her fire rejoiced. As the Master, he was able to take it a step further and suppress her sparking fire magick.
Morgan’s shoulders slumped. With her internal struggle to contain the magick stilled, she could focus on him, his earthy scent and the warmth that sent desire spiraling through her.
“Better?” he whispered.
She nodded. “How can you be so concerned about me after what I did?”
“Decker … explained a few things.” Agitation crossed his features briefly, and the Light around him pulsed brighter in response to his emotion before it faded. “I understand. Mostly.” He was trying hard not to let it show – the pain she had caused and desperately wanted now to burn away.
“I’m so sorry.” Ever sensitive to the suffering of someone else, Morgan placed her hands on his chest and pushed candy flames into him, the only thing she could think of doing to comfort him.
He cupped her other cheek. This time, she didn’t flinch. It was too natural for him to be touching her, a state she had missed for months.
“Why couldn’t you come to me about the stone?” he asked. The Light flared around him again to counter what she suspected was worry. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you didn’t have the right to keep so
mething like this from the one person who could help you.”
“Don’t judge me,” she said, almost grateful for the surge of anger that managed to edge aside her attraction. “You don’t get to do that, Beck.”
“I’m not. But I do get to ask why you couldn’t say goodbye, why you let your own brother … and me … believe you were dead?”
“Because it was safer for you this way. The soul stone damages the Light. It hurts you, Beck, just being near it. How was I going to let that happen?”
He rubbed one thumb along her jawline. “I can help. Somehow.”
“No, you can’t.”
“I can.” The determination in his features was new to her. Beck had been uncertain of himself when she last saw him. He retained some of the conflicted sense of self, but she sensed he’d toughened up a little, too, as had she after spending three months on her own for the first time in her life.
Not that it mattered. All the good will in the universe wasn’t going to convince her to let him help when being in the same room with her could cause him pain.
“You don’t believe me,” he said, reading her expression. “Morgan, I thought you were dead.” His raw emotion, and her suppressed fire, left her vulnerable to emotions she didn’t want to feel. Her magick clamored to help him, but he was controlling it.
Morgan’s eyes watered. “Beck, I did it for you.”
“I know. I love you more for it. But Morgan …” His voice broke. He wrapped his arms around her.
Morgan pressed her face to the soft material covering his chest and breathed in his scent. His athletic frame was hard and muscular though a tad leaner than she recalled, as if he hadn’t been eating well since she left. His earth magick calmed her, and she worked hard to suppress the desire provoking her fire.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you with the stone,” she added. “I will never let it happen again.”
“My angry little guardian angel,” he whispered and kissed her on the top of the head. “Come home with us. We’ll figure it out.”
Home. The word hurt more than anything else. For a very short time, he had become the only home she had ever known. As always, it didn’t last. Nothing good in her life did. She destroyed her chance at happiness, and almost him, the moment he touched the soul stone, and she witnessed just how dangerous it was to the person she cared about. “I can’t, Beck. You have to know this,” she murmured, troubled.
“You can’t stay on the campus with the stone. But you don’t have to. You can stay nearby.”
“And wait for Dawn to find me? Weaken you and the Light every time you’re around?” She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “I can’t … I won’t hurt you, Beck.”
“Losing you is more painful than anything the soul stone can do.” He touched her cheek, the desolation she had caused in his gaze.
Heat rose to her face. For a moment, she struggled with the sense of triumph in learning he did still care before plummeting into devastation once more knowing it didn’t matter. She had to stay away. “I almost killed you.”
“But you didn’t. You warned me not to touch it. I’m like a kid who touches the stovetop and learns the hard way not to do it again,” he joked. “You saved me. Amber said if you hadn’t used your fire magick, I’d be dead.”
“Don’t you see, Beck? I’m dangerous to you.”
“You aren’t. The soul stone is,” he replied.
“And I’m charged with protecting it.” She had inherited the duty of protecting the small piece of Dark capable of destroying the Light source and its master on her seventeenth birthday from her mother.
“I doubt you were meant to do it completely alone.”
The response crippled her defenses for a moment, and she recalled how many times she had thought the exact same thing. Protecting a piece of solid Darkness from the Dark should not have been a mission for one lowly fire witchling who had never really done anything worthwhile in her life.
“We’re meant to be together, Morgan. I’ve always known this and I’m pretty sure you have, too.”
She said nothing. The words felt true and painful as well. It was just her luck that she’d meet the man who could accept her despite her flaws and calm her fire magick – and not be able to be with him because she was bad.
“Come home with me,” he said again, holding her gaze. “I’m much stronger than I was. I’ve learned a lot about the Light and how to expand and heal it. I touched you when you were unconscious and didn’t get knocked out again this time. I can handle an accidental brush with the stone.”
Her thoughts went to the boarding school where she’d never felt welcome by anyone but him, Summer and Biji, along with a couple others. She was expelled after being accused of setting a fire to burn down the community Christmas tree. She didn’t dare set foot on campus again, now that she knew the impact the soul stone had on the Light. If she dragged Dawn and her lot to the school … it’d cripple Beck even more.
“I don’t belong at the school, Beck, and I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you,” she said, resolve solidifying. “I’m sorry.”
“Not to the school. I want you to stay with me,” he replied.
Morgan couldn’t look away from his teal gaze. Her memories were of the incredible night they’d spent dancing in bonfires where the separation between her magick and their passion melted away.
The terror she often experienced at the thought of letting someone in, of trusting someone, piqued despite the steps she had once taken towards Beck. This time, it wasn’t her fear of being hurt that stopped her but the knowledge she was bad for him.
“I can’t,” she said again. “You don’t understand. The soul stone destroys Light, Beck. You are Light.”
“My world ended when I thought you were dead,” he whispered. “I don’t want a world without you.”
“Don’t do this to me.” Morgan’s eyes blurred. She rested her cheek against his chest once more, listening to his heartbeat. His beautiful words were all she had ever wanted to hear from anyone and yet, they stung as well knowing she could never coexist with him. She swallowed hard, aware of what she needed to do, however hard it was going to be. “Why … why don’t we do this?” she started in what she hoped was a somewhat cheerful response. “You go home and find a way to make this happen. To make us happen without me hurting you. I’ll stay in hiding to keep Dawn off balance. When you’ve figured it out, I’ll come home.”
She sneaked a peek at him to see if he bought it. The light of hope flickered in his eyes, and she saw how poorly she had hidden her real intention of getting him to leave so she could disappear again. Beck not only read between the lines, he read her with uncanny ability.
“You don’t think it’s possible,” he stated.
She said nothing.
“You won’t come back.”
Morgan shook her head.
“Even for me?” he half-joked, his hurt clear.
Her breath caught at the idea of causing him more pain. “It’s because of you I won’t come back,” she said before she could stop herself. “You are everything to me. You and Connor. I won’t ever, ever do anything to bring harm to those I love.”
Beck’s expression warmed.
Hearing her words, she pressed her face to his chest so she didn’t have to look at him. “So. Go home. Figure this stuff out,” she told him, regaining her composure as much as possible after openly admitting how she felt about him. She breathed him in again, not wanting to let go.
“If I push you, you’ll run anyway, won’t you?”
“Right now, yes. I’ll do whatever I must to protect you.”
He was quiet for an agonizing moment before he finally spoke with reluctance. “One condition from the Master of Light and two conditions from me,” he replied, his grip around her tightening. “The Master says, you won’t do this alone. You’re right. The stone weakens me. But I can choose someone to accompany you. You won’t be alone protecting the Light. I’m not, and it’s not right you are.”
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She rolled her eyes.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “As for my conditions,” he continued. “One, you check in. Daily. I’ll text you my new number in a few hours.”
She waited, relieved he was agreeing. She was on the verge of yielding to his pleas and returning home with him, even knowing the danger she posed.
“Two, did you just tell me you love me?”
Fire engulfed them and filled the air around them. Earth magick quieted it quickly, and Beck laughed. Embarrassed by her magick’s response to the question she didn’t want to answer, Morgan pulled away and snatched the phone out of his hands.
“That’s a yes,” he said, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
“Get out, Beck!” she snapped.
A slow smile spread across his face. “You are so beautiful, Morgan. I missed you.”
“And you are about to help me set this hospital on fire!” Any hope she had of him not taking her outburst the way she didn’t want him to vanished.
Beck touched her lightly. His earth magick swept through her once more, calming her. “Daily,” he repeated.
She sighed. “Fine. Tell your ass of a brother I need a new credit card.”
She waited for him to leave. She was ready to explode into flames as it was. If he lingered, she’d melt the both of them and everything in the vicinity.
“I will figure this out. I swear it,” he said quietly.
Come home with me. They were the most astonishing, humbling words she had ever heard. Her instincts had screamed for her to agree. Her magick had always whispered what was between them – a primal promise of belonging – that she tried hard to ignore. There was no denying it anymore. She’d put time and distance between them, and the instinct only became stronger. Her fire wept with the need to feel his gentle magick, and she had never wanted to curl up in someone’s arms and simply … stay. Let him protect her from her world, from herself.
