Ryan pulled at the hoodie, and as it fell back I yanked my head to the side so he wouldn’t see my face, almost giving myself whiplash.
“I beg to differ. You, my dearest Aislinn, are.” He was laughing now, and I was as red as I could get. Poor Sid had to be suffering from the worst heat wave ever.
“You don’t need to laugh at me,” I scolded.
“I did not mean to laugh at you. I was actually appreciating the beauty of it; the color lights up your face.”
“Yeah, me and Rudolph,” I grumbled.
“Who is Rudolph? “
I looked into his confused eyes and shrugged. “Forget it. “
He continued, “I have a surprise for you.” Ryan’s smile crept slowly across his face as he delved into his pocket. He took my hand, and placed a small cluster of gems and crystals attached to a string into my palm.
“It’s so perfect.” I had to swallow back the tears that were forming. This was the first time anybody had ever given me anything. “You hardly know me. Why would you give me something so nice?”
“Call it a friendship gift. May I help you put it on?” Ryan’s voice was calm but persuasive. I couldn’t say no but, considering it was me, I had to try.
“I can’t accept this.” I looked at him.
He nodded. “I understand how you feel. You are very gracious. But I still need you to accept this choker. Please, it will definitely look better on you than on me.” We both laughed at the same time, though my laughter dried up fast when he fastened the clasp around my neck. His fingers touched my skin lightly, sending sparks racing down my spine. I had to close my eyes to try and calm myself and keep some small amount of self-control.
His hands lingered on my shoulders as he whispered in my ear. “It will protect you when I cannot.” His intense eyes bore into mine as he continued, “Just call out to me when you are in need and I will be there.” The strange gleam left his gaze as he turned back into the Ryan I knew. I couldn’t help but feel as if something more had happened between us just then, like an unseen bond had been formed.
Yeah…right! Now I’m dreaming, Sid. Next I’ll be seeing ghosts.
“Thank you. It’s beautiful.” I felt the warmth of the necklace against my skin. “I know a bit about the magical properties of the stones.” I knew a lot about gems and crystals, as I already used them in my ‘freaky’ everyday life.
Ryan gave a knowing smile. “Tell me about them.”
I looked at the cluster of seven. “The hematite, emerald, obsidian, and lapis lazuli all carry similar properties. They’re all about improving memory and mental clarity…you know, crap like that.”
He grinned.
“The amethyst is about stability and strength, where the opal is a stone of protection. I know it shields the wearer from physical and emotional harm.” I rolled the seventh stone between my fingers. “I’ve never seen this one before.”
Ryan cleared his throat, gazing down at the peculiar gem. “It is called the azurite - also known as a ‘stone of heaven.’ Azurite was a sacred stone for the Native American Indians and the Mayans, who used it stone to awaken psychic abilities. Opal, by the way, is also known as a stone of ‘happy dreams and changes.’ The Australian Aborigines used the opal to invoke visions.” Ryan’s eyes held mine as he spoke, as if he was waiting for some kind of reaction. I kept my face as neutral as I could before I changed the subject; I wasn’t ready to talk about my dreams. Not yet.
“Of all the places in the world, why did you transfer here?”
“I had to be close to a friend who needed my help,” Ryan said strongly, as if ending the subject.
He smiled. “My turn. Why do you not have any friends?”
“Next,” I groaned.
“Indulge me.” Ryan looked at me so intensely, as if he was willing me to answer. With that perfect face and piercing eyes, he was definitely not playing fair.
I sighed heavily. “People think I’m weird. I was found by the local clairvoyant and she took the liberty of naming me. Aislinn means a vision or a dream and Calder means keeper of the key.” I laughed just then, realizing how ridiculous it sounded even to me.
“I don’t know what key I’m supposed to be holding and what she thinks I’m supposed to dream about. She says I will have visions one day. Can you believe how stupid that sounds?” I looked up at Ryan, actually expecting an answer, but he listened intently, remaining completely quiet. “So that’s how I got labeled weird, because she’s quite the loony one herself. Everyone avoids me because they’re either scared or they don’t want to ruin their reputation by being with the ‘freak’.
For the very first time I felt embarrassed about who I was. And for the first time, I broke eye contact with him; I just couldn’t look into his intense gaze without knowing what he saw when he looked at me.
Did I dare tell Ryan about the palm readings? No. Would it all be too much? I would destroy our new fragile friendship, and for some reason it already meant too much to me.
“Why are you so quiet?” He nudged me with his shoulder, while asking the million dollar question. I was still wrestling with myself whether to tell him or not. It didn’t really matter if I opened up. After all, we lived in a small town and he would hear all about me sooner or later. It was inevitable.
“I’m just thinking silly things.”
“How about we have that talk now?”
“What talk?” My heart began to hammer in anticipation of what was coming. I was so hoping that he’d forgotten.
“What happened in class?”
I waved my hand in the air, as if brushing off the incident. “Oh, that.” Truth was, I really wanted to keep Ryan. Truth was, I was enjoying having a real friend besides Sid for the first time in my life.
“It was nothing. I was daydreaming.” The words came out in a rush.
“It did not come across as a daydream, Aislinn. I called you a few times before you answered me.” He looked directly into my eyes. If I had been standing, my legs would’ve given way under his powerful gaze.
I searched for an answer. “I didn’t sleep well last night, that must’ve been it,” I whispered in a pathetic attempt to avoid answering him.
He looked away and sighed. “You can trust me, Aislinn. I can see you are not telling me everything. Something happened.” His voice turned more serious. Taking my hand, he slowly caressed each finger.
Maybe I should tell him, Sid. It would be such a relief to share it with someone.
Ryan’s fingers interlaced with mine. He was so gentle in a world full of morons and tough-guys that my tears rose to the surface and quietly fell on the dead grass.
“You have the most beautiful hands, such small fingers.” Ryan took a deep breath before lifting my hand to his lips. “If you trust me, you will find I can understand a lot more than your average person. I am very open minded Aislinn, and I do believe there are some of us out there blessed with talents we do not understand. I know I am new in your life, but I wish you would have a little more faith in me.”
I tried to pull my hand away, but he just tightened his grip, all the while moving closer. He was now sitting with his one leg behind me; his face was right by mine.
“Is there the slightest chance you might open up to me?”
My breathing quickened. It felt like my chest was about to implode. How could he be so nice to me? Here I was, the crazy person, and Ryan wanted to help me. All I could do was cover my face with my other hand while I tried not to cry out loud.
“I…can read palms and see the f-future. It’s always been th-there, a part of me. I can’t t-turn it off. ” I stuttered through my words and my voice cracked at the end.
“I d-dream of d-disasters, of people being t-torn apart and d-dying. I…” I couldn’t anymore. The feelings were overwhelming, crushing my lungs, and leaving me with no air to breathe. I turned my head even further away, embarrassed by everything. No one had ever seen me like this.
But instead of getting up and walking a
way, Ryan pulled me into his arms and held me tightly against his chest. Rocking me gently, I could feel his lips moving in my hair, his breath blowing lightly against my hair. All I could do was cling to him.
“You do not have friends, because no one understands you. I would like to help you, if you would give me the chance, Aislinn. You are not weird - nor, crazy - you are just misunderstood.” Ryan whispered the words so softly I had to strain to hear him over my pounding heartbeat.
Leaning into him, I enjoyed the closeness of another human being for the first time in my life. Whether this was a dream or reality, I would figure out later. But, for now, I was going to savor everything he was offering me.
However as if the Devil, himself, controlled my fate, the bell rang and broke up our amazing moment.
“Come.” Ryan got up and held out his hand.
I took it and dusted off the dead grass as I stood. “Where to?” I was still a tad embarrassed about everything and tried to shove it aside. I just wanted to enjoy his friendship for now.
“We are going to the cafeteria for food. I do not know about you, but I have a stomach and it is in protest.” He dragged me along, not letting go of my hand.
“I could wait here.” I heard the panic resound in my voice.
“No, I want the company. Besides, I might get lost - or, even worse - someone might actually try and hurt me.” He laughed, dragging me closer to him.
“Somehow I find that very hard to believe.” I tried to wriggle away.
His lazy smile was plastered on his face, as he leaned into me. It was unnerving as usual. “Does it bother you, holding my hand?”
“No.” I swallowed another lie. “I just d-don’t want anyone to…get the wrong impression.” Something deep inside me I didn’t understand needed him, and it scared me.
“What impression would that be, dear Aislinn?”
I was getting quite nervous. We were approaching the crowded areas. “You know. Don’t be difficult.” I took a deep breath and glared at him. “I don’t want them thinking we’re together.”
We could hear excited voices, girls screaming as guys teased them. Music played loudly from one corner. We passed the Goths, who actually greeted us. They were the only ones not fazed by who I was.
“Would it bother you if people thought we were…mmm…how did you say? Together?”
Damn, Sid! Get out here and help me!
“Yes. I’ve only known you for what? Two, three days now? I might be weird but that doesn’t mean I’m easy.” I tried to hide my self-consciousness, while he laughed at my answer.
“Yes, but we will only be doing this for the pleasure of seeing the shock on their faces.”
He was persistent, but always remained so damn polite! I didn’t want people thinking we were a couple. I lived with the school ‘gossip’ who would nag me unmercifully, and Ryan‘s reputation would be ruined. Not that he seemed to care.
My voice was a mixture of bitterness and anxiety. “You heard the whispers yesterday. Imagine what they’ll be saying today.”
It was at this point that he stopped right there, in the middle of the hall, and pulled me right up to him. For a second I thought he was actually going to kiss me in front of everyone. His face wasn’t even an inch from mine.
I think I heard the ‘thump’ as Sid fainted dead away.
Ryan grinned. “I did hear what they said yesterday, but I am going to say this for the last time, Aislinn. It does not bother me in the least what others think of me. However, I do care what you think of me. We are going to take a casual stroll into the cafeteria and, for once, you are going to hold your head up high. Smile and pretend. I know you can do this.”
I tried to take in everything he said, but all I could think about was the fact that if I turned my face slightly and leaned in, our lips would touch. Then the angels would sing in the background. I could reach up and let my fingers touch his smooth skin, and crawl into his silky soft hair. Oh, yeah…I could hear a whole symphony of winged creatures getting ready.
But Ryan suddenly turned away and started walking again. So, instead of getting my sweet dream, the angels were put on hold and the hoodie was wrapped tighter around my head.
After a few seconds, we passed a group of guys I didn’t know from a bar of soap and, of course, one of the idiots had to open his big bloody mouth.
“Let us know if the ‘freak’ is any good!”
They all burst out laughing as I cringed.
Another added, “Yeah, it’s the weird ones who go all the way.”
I tried not to show any reaction - tried to pretend the words didn’t cut - like everything else in life never bothered me. This time it didn’t work. My nails dug into Ryan’s hand as I clung to him.
Ryan tensed. I heard him grind his teeth, clenching his jaws to keep himself from responding. It was at that moment, even though I’d only known him for a few days that I realized something had happened between us. We did share a bond and, no matter what the future held, he would always hold a piece of my heart. It was at this point I knew he understood what I went through every day.
“I’m sorry you had to hear th-that.” My voice was filled with emotion.
“No!” He took a deep breath. “You do not ever apologize for humans like them. I should go back and confront them. How dare they even lay their eyes upon you! They should be blinded as punishment!” His voice dripped with so much anger I could only stare at him. I was surprised to see how dark his eyes were. They were almost purple, no longer the smoky blue-violet I had grown to like.
Again, that ‘something’ that was so different about him stared me right in the face; it was on the tip of my tongue. I stared at those stormy eyes and that alluring mouth set in an angry line, and it hit me. It was how he spoke. Ryan’s dialect - his pronunciation - was so different from everyone else’s. It was almost regal - like a gallant knight now trapped in my crummy existence.
Ryan’s eyes flickered away from my steady gaze and he swallowed hard. He took two steps away from me, and then froze. I was being stupid now, thinking of things like that while he was upset about what had just happened. I closed the gap between us and tried my best to smile.
“I know how you f-feel. But it’s better t-to ignore th-them. Come on.” I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was my turn to drag him in the direction of the cafeteria. “Remember, you were going t-to t-torture me by pretending we were a couple?”
He was smiling again and had his arm around my shoulder, holding me to him. It felt good. I needed it.
“Yes, come, let us go and shock the rest of the school.” He held me really close; his lips pressed against my hair. The feeling was almost like a drug, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything except his closeness.
“Yes, but we aren’t a couple.” I reminded him. “We’re just friends, after all.”
His smile grew big. You could tell he was really enjoying this. “True,” he said, with a laugh. “Though they are all on a need to know basis, and they do not need to know we are just friends. You say they see you as the local freak. Well, it is time for them to see what I see. Come on, it is going to be most enjoyable.” He was excited; he was like a child in a candy store.
Sid, is it just me or did he go from angry to happy in two seconds flat? Maybe he was doing the happy thing to try and divert my attention away from what had just happened. I had to smile. That would be really thoughtful of him, wouldn’t it Sid?
He pulled my hood back and fluffed out my hair as we walked. I felt myself respond like any of the other girls’ would; my stomach fluttered while delight coursed through my veins. Any of the other girls would’ve killed to have Ryan give them the attention he’d given me. Molly could keep her heated floors and full closet, I decided, I’d take Ryan any day.
We walked deeper into the cafeteria - a.k.a., the den of morons - and almost every head turned in our direction. My heartbeat sped up so fast I was sure it was looking for a way out of my chest.
“I
don’t know what to do.” My voice trembled with insecurity, while beside me walked a guy with the most confidence I’d ever seen in my life.
Again, that reminded me of someone, but I just couldn’t place where I had seen him before. With his one arm still around my shoulder, he gave me a quick hug. His aftershave surrounded me like a cloak. I took a few deep breaths, savoring him, knowing it would calm me down.
“All will be well. All you have to do is smile.”
His lips were constantly moving close to my hair. I had to struggle not to close my eyes and just give myself over to the moment.
“Great. You lead me into the slaughterhouse and tell me to relax,” I mumbled. I could feel his body vibrating against mine as he laughed.
“Hi, Ryan.” It was Kate’s voice. Dear old irritating Kate. I tried desperately to pull away from him, but he just held me tighter. Kate’s eyes quickly jumped from Ryan to me, before she gave him her sweetest smile. Then she did her ‘thing’, she flipped her hair back and moved in on him like a cougar, ignoring the fact that I was standing right there.
“I’m Kate, the head cheerleader, and I just wanted to officially welcome you to our school.” She practically purred at him.
I, on the other hand, was going to gag. Ryan just gave her a polite smile that totally had to mess with her head. I tried to suppress my own smile which was going to turn into full blown hysterical laughter at the sight of her facial expression. She looked so pathetically smitten, it was hilarious. Crap, Sid, I hope I don’t look like that.
“That is very kind of you and thank you, but you will have to excuse us. We are on our way to get lunch.” And with that, he steered me towards the growing food line.
“I can’t believe you just did that. Did you see her face? She’s most likely in the bathroom crying while a whole squad of Barbie dolls tries to calm her down.” I stretched my neck to try and see over his shoulder, sputtering with laughter.
“Now why would she react that way to what I said to her? I declined politely, did I not?” He looked down at me; true confusion imprinted on the lines of his face.
Vaalbara; Visions & Shadows Page 4
