It was the way he liked it, but with the saying of an “I do,” all of that was changing. His wife was making all of that change. All week, it was like an unwilling game of finding Big Foot. People hiding out behind trees trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive black woman, who wasn’t so damned elusive considering she’d been seen all over town. In less than a week, he would be lying if he told people that his wife met or talked to at least a fourth of the sixteen hundred families who lived in Meredith. To Evan, if felt like a fourth of those people had come to his home, knocking on his door, disturbing his fucking peace. He fancied himself loading up his favorite Winchester with buckshot and filling a few flat asses full of lead. How he managed to maintain a level of civility amazed even himself, starting that Sunday and with Coraline who stood in his driveway when he and Leta returned from church offering that let me fix it smile.
She had way too many questions for his liking and he wanted the woman gone. The part that irked him beyond measure was when the conversation turned to childbearing, a topic which he was uncomfortable to have, but even more painful to endure.
“Leta, I know you and Evan are planning to start a family right away,” Coraline said. “I think I may be of help.”
“This should be worth the price of an admission ticket,” Evan grumbled under his belt.
“Evan!” Leta said, surprised at his snarkiness to the matchmaker.
“How the hell does she plan on helping? Is she going to be my fluffer before we go at it?”
Coraline’s eyebrows arched in shock at the mild mannered man, not being so mild and not being so mannered. “No, Mr. Eaton. My family has been working as match makers since the first wagon trains rolled West,” she told him. “Over the years, there are certain things the women in my family mastered to ensure success in the matches we made.”
“I assume your little computer test and pooping in a cup wasn’t enough to ensure that my potential bride didn’t think that leaving me in the lurch and heading to Cabo with Kevin was factored into your skillsets,” Evan said, squinting at her.
“Maybe what was factored into my skillsets was the realization that she wasn’t the right woman for you as a wife, and I stirred my pot of eel eyes and newt tongues and got Leta to you just in the nick of time,” Coraline said. Evan opened his mouth, and Coraline held up her hand. “The energy in the room is good. Your negativity is going to shut it all down.”
“My negativity?” Evan said.
“Yes, and stop being such a man and let me work,” Coraline said, sshing him.
“Who the hell you shsshing?”
“Evan!”
“She ain’t gonna sssh me in my own house Leta. Plus, she creeps me out,” he said, frowning at his wife.
“Darling, let’s hear the lady out,” Leta said, turning back to Coraline, “I’m sorry, you were saying?”
Coraline was through talking. The energy between Evan and Leta made her fingers tingle. A good match. A strong match. She would bring balance to his life, but they needed to start a family right away in order for Evan to keep the land. Bending down, she reached into her bag, removing a small vial of oil. Pouring a little in the palm of her hand she rubbed it, coating her whole hands.
“Leta, come to me,” she said, “Pull up your blouse so I can reach your belly.”
“The hell you say,” Leta replied, “you aren’t pulling any witchcraft shit on me, lady. Get your magic bag of tricks and get out of that door.”
“Listen to me Leta, trouble is coming this way,” Coraline said, “and if you want to have children and guard you against what’s coming, get your ass over here and let me get this done.”
“What do you mean trouble?”
It was then that both Evan and Leta noticed the difference in the shade of green of the woman’s eyes. The eyes almost glowed in brilliant emerald green as she looked at them. They both gasped and drew back, clinging to each other. Coraline wasn’t put off. She proceeded to say what needed to be said without tipping the balance of the scales which held life.
“Claudia doesn’t know you married him and when she finds out, she’s going to try to end your marriage,” Coraline said. “You know how she’s always been about you, Leta. The idea that you’re going to have what should have been hers is going to change how she sees you.”
“Wait...how do you know I know Claudia?” Leta said, looking at Evan. Neither of them had given any of that away to the matchmaker.
“You took her place so Evan wouldn’t lose everything, but you haven’t consummated the marriage,” Coraline said. “Get over here now!”
Leta reluctantly shuffled her feet, moving closer to Coraline. She raised her blouse, exposing her belly. Scared, but fascinated, she allowed it all to play through as if the putt she needed to sink was only a hole away. Warm hands touched her abdomen, running low into the top of her skirt, heating up under the pressure of Coraline’s hands.
“You’re ripe. Ready. Tonight,” she said, looking at Evan, whose eyes were wide. “Rudy, we need to leave.”
Rudy, the assistant, didn’t question, but quietly got to his feet. He collected their things, passed Evan an envelope and one to Leta. He offered a smile to them both before opening the screen door to let himself and his boss out of the front of the house.
“Evan and Leta, don’t wait. Do it now and you shall conceive today. If you wait past this week, your chance of having a family will be greatly reduced,” she warned. “Soon as I leave, Evan.”
“This is too weird,” he said, looking at his wife.
“The distractions will be great this week, on top of the number of guests which are going to show up plus the arrival of Leta’s household items and...,” she looked at the sky and grinned. “Well, that’s going to be a challenge. Go. Make a baby.”
Rudy passed his boss a wet nap which she used to wipe the oils from her hands. Coraline waved and walked away. Leta’s phone began to ring as well as Evan’s. They stared at each other.
“Don’t answer it,” he said, looking at his phone and seeing his mother’s face.
Leta glanced at her phone and saw several missed messages, one from her mother, three from Claudia, and another from her brother. Her focus centered on Coraline and the eerie command to go and make a child.
“That was creepy as hell, but I dunno. You think she’s clairvoyant?”
“I don’t know, but I have three missed calls from Claudia, two from my mother and one from my brother, which means I can expect to see one or all three this week,” she said.
Evan sighed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He had planned to romance his wife, then seduce her with his A game. It had been his intention to woo her to his bed. All that shit was chunked out the window. He bent over and unlaced his boots, kicking them off one by one.
“I had planned to woo and romance you, but at this point, as weird as all this is, I’m just going to go with it,” he said, getting to his feet and removing his shirt. “I’ll be as romantic as I can, but I got to put a baby in you today before whatever oil of batwings wears off on your belly.”
“You don’t actually believe any of that stuff she said, do you?”
“Hell, I never thought I’d be married to a random black woman that showed up fifteen minutes before I was due to lose the shirt off my back, but here you are,” he said. “I’ll learn all the stuff you like later. Let’s get in there and get this done.”
“Good grief, man. You’re not about to stuff the Thanksgiving Turkey, Evan!”
“Pretty damned close,” he said with a wink and a smile. When he smiled, the entirety of his whole face changed. Leta’s belly wasn’t the only thing feeling a bit of warmth. She kicked off her shoes and waited for his next move.
Evan slipped his hand into hers and they walked past the front door, where he ensured it was locked, and pulled her into the master bedroom. The sound of the door closing seemed like the loudest sound she had ever heard in her life. It was real. Her husband was claiming his rights. Based on
what Coraline said a few minutes prior, she was ripe, and this act in its entirety was going to make her a mother.
“Lord Jesus,” she said, leaning back on the bed.
“Hold that thought,” Evan said, joining her on the bed and pulling his wife into his arms.
CLAUDIA’S FURY ESCALATED each time Leta didn’t answer the phone. She’d placed four calls in the past two days, resulting in a hissy fit after her longtime friend’s voice didn’t come through on the other end. It befuddled her to no end that Leta was possibly unavailable to take her calls so she could go over every moment of weekend with Kevin that was not going according to plan.
“Oh, my God! Where is she?” Claudia said, throwing her phone on the bed. “Leta’s not taking my calls.”
“Maybe she’s tired of listening to you whine,” Kevin said under his breath.
“I don’t whine,” Claudia protested in a high-pitched squeal. “It’s not like Leta to miss my calls. It’s not as if she suddenly has gotten interesting.”
“Or she could be hurt in an accident, or someone broke into her apartment and slit her throat,” Kevin said, “Lord forbid she’s just not interested in listening to you.”
“Wait, you think something may be wrong is why she’s not taking my calls?”
Kevin watched Claudia with sincere concern that the woman was the biggest narcissist he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting. Sexually, she was good for what he needed, but the connection wasn’t real. It satisfied the need but the mental aspect of it all was sorely lacking. He was ready to get back to Georgia and go his separate way.
“Hey, maybe you can call a family member and see if they’ve heard from your friend,” Kevin suggested.
“Great idea. I’ll call her Mom.”
“No, what if something is wrong or nothing is wrong, then you’ll upset her parents for no reason,” Kevin said. “You said she has a brother, right? Call him and ask him to go by her house or her job tomorrow. In the meantime, you need to start packing.”
“Packing? I thought we were here until Wednesday,” Claudia replied.
“I’m here until Friday, but you’re going home now,” Kevin said, “Babe, it just ain’t working out. The constant negativity and incessant need to be the center of attention is really cramping my chill time. You’ve got to go.”
“Kevin, are you...dumping me?” Claudia asked, shocked at the clarity of the speech of the running back with one too many sacks.
“Claudia, in order for me to dump you, we’d have to be together. We aren’t together as a couple. We’re just kind casual, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know. I thought you brought me here to propose!”
“Why in the hell would I want to marry you? You are the worst,” Kevin said, chuckling. He felt his words were funny, but Claudia saw no humor in it at all. She’d let go of a good option for a husband and a family. She could have easily convinced Evan to move to a warmer climate and now this rejection from Kevin became nearly too much to bear. Kevin wouldn’t get off so easily.
It happened so quickly that Kevin didn’t see it coming. Claudia grabbed for the knife on the counter, dropping to the floor behind the mass of man. The cut was quick and clean, coming across his Achilles tendon, slicing right through skin and muscle.
“What in the hell, Claudia?” Kevin said, dropping to the floor, holding his calf, and screaming in pain. “You cut me! I can’t believe you frickin’ cut me! You cut my Achilles.”
“You thought you’d dump me? Let’s see how well you do in life when the team dumps you and your idiotic, muscled bound mass can no longer run up and down a football field,” Claudia said, “so, yeah, fuck you, Kevin.”
“You’re insane, Claudia,” he screamed at her, crawling to his phone to call for help.
“Yeah, yeah. All I asked for was a modicum of civility and this is what you do,” she said, walking past him, kicking the phone out of his reach. “I’m going home and leaving you to your wonderful life. Oh, and Kevin, you’re an ass hat.”
The items she’d brought with her to Cabo included six bathing suits, two pairs of high heels, and one red dress which had seen better days. None of those items she would need in her life in New Hampshire with Ethan...Evan. “What is his damned name?”
It didn’t matter. She was going to New Hampshire and convince the man in person that she was sorry for not showing up for the wedding and ready to be his wife. The whole spitting out the kid thing would be the compromise. Claudia would give him the child, leave the wee babe with its father and head somewhere warm. Hopefully, if she could convince him to sell the land, there would be enough money to live comfortably away from six months of frigid temperatures.
“This could work,” she said aloud, leaving Kevin on the floor bleeding. For good measure she took his credit card to change the return flight to Atlanta. Then she’d call Trevor Feldman, Leta’s brother, to find out why her bestie Leta hadn’t taken the call. For a brief second, she prayed all was well for Leta. Claudia didn’t know what she would do if anything ever happened to Leta.
“I hope you’re okay, my friend.”
Chapter Nine- Sweetness & Light
Evan wasn’t embarrassed in the least. In his forty years of living, and twenty-four of those being sexually active, he’d never come into personal contact with a gripper. Oh, he’d heard about them and even saw one or two in porn movies, but to physically interact with one that he was blessed to get awarded with for the rest of his life, he just didn’t know how to handle such a moment of utter bliss. Admittedly, he wasn’t the greatest lover to step foot on the track, but he could get the horse out of the gate, lather that baby up, and get it across the finish line out of breath and feeling victorious. He looked over at Leta, who by all accounts was breathing hard with a bit of a glow. At least he thought it was a glow.
“Leta, I’m not ashamed to admit this to you, but that was possibly the best seven minutes of my life,” he said, chuckling. He’d almost curled himself into a ball, crawling two steps from calling his mother and sucking his thumb, waiting for her arrival to rub his chest down with eucalyptus salve. For the damnedest reason, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. “What are you doing?”
Leta, in a fugue of her own from such an intense interaction with her husband that she swore would have to woo her first, lay on her back, her knees to her chest. “I read somewhere that if you’re trying to conceive, after intercourse you should do this to ensure the tadpoles can swim easily across the pond,” she said, turning her head to look at her husband.
“Baby, I loaded that damned pond up with six months’ worth of backed up tadpoles, so one of them little bastards is going to hit the target,” Evan said, still chuckling at the ridiculousness of it all. “Don’t worry, I’m still going to court you and bring my A-game. However, you have to admit, that was pretty flipping amazing, even though it only lasted seven minutes.”
“What’s with you and the seven minutes? You do realize that is the average time. Anything under two minutes is considered too short and anything over ten minutes is way too long,” Leta added with a smile, “so we did great. The goal is to make a child.”
“No, my goal is to ensure you keep a smile on your face so you’re not ogling Phil the mailman, who by rumor, happens to be this great lover,” Evan said, scowling at knowing that bit of information. “Personally, I can’t see it. The man wears socks with sandals to the beach.”
“Wearing socks and sandals precludes him from being a great lover?”
“A man who doesn’t pay much attention to his fashion needs can’t truly be expected to pay a great deal of attention to the needs of a woman in bed if he thinks wearing socks with sandals to the beach is cool,” Evan said, placing a hand on her abdomen.
“Or he could have a really big dick and know how to hit that G-spot in three strokes or less,” Leta said, arching her brows. “You and Hercules seem to have mastered the task. You were right, he is an impressive fellow.”
“That is not
even remotely fair,” Evan said, “and in my defense, it has been six months. Plus, the weird matchmaker lady said we had to get it done, so me and the Champ got in there and got it done.”
“In seven minutes.”
“In seven, glorious, breathtaking, ‘Oh My God Evan,’ minutes,” he said, laughing, a deep throaty chuckle which rumbled in his chest.
Evan watched her on the bed, the skirt around her waist showing off her bare bottom which was exposed to the coolness in the room. He’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
“I tell you what wife,” he said, planting a kiss on her cheek, “I’ll make up the performance at another time. Right now, I’m going to impress you by making your lunch or dinner. Food. We need food.”
“Here I am, silly me, thinking you were going to impress a girl by buying me flowers and chocolates,” she said, pulling her knees up higher.
“No, my dear. Tomorrow, I’m going to buy you half a house. Attach it to the outer wall, knock out the side window to make a door to our new master suite with an amazing walk-in closet,” he said, bending to pick up his underwear.
She observed his nude form. His body had no fat and there were tons of muscle definition, even for a man who worked behind a desk. The thighs were firm as if he rode a bicycle or did a great deal of running. The calves were the right shape for those kinds of exercises, but he did some form of exercise to stay in shape.
“I row,” he said, noting her observation. “I have a boat that I put on the lake on three mornings of the week in good weather. What about you? How you do maintain that sexy body?”
Maple Sundaes & CIder Donuts Page 8
