“Stop that shit. You trying to find a reason to drop that fine ass woman of yours, go ahead and let her go. ‘Cause the girl in that picture,” he pointed to the manila folder on the desk and Logan pulled it closer, “don’t need that bullshit you ‘bout to bring to her.” Iggy stood, but stopped at their cell door. “Yeah, my home was dangerous. People was always getting shot over bullshit feuds and drugs.”
Logan looked him up and down. He didn’t sag his pants in prison for obvious reasons, but Logan could imagine him doing it. “So you acted like a thug in order to survive?”
Iggy shook his head. “No, I am a thug. Thug ain’t a skin color, it’s a way of life. I do all the bad shit mommas warn they babies about. Being a thug and living in the hood ain’t about color, you get me? It’s all ‘bout the finances. If you rich, you live up on a hill, looking down at the city below and wondering how you can get richer. If you po’ you sitting in the hood, looking up that hill and wonderin’ who you gots to rob to get there.”
Logan didn’t agree, but being in prison for armed robbery and disagreeing with Iggy on this point would make him look like a fool. “When I was poor . . . not po’— poor,” he gave Iggy a withering glance, “I never wondered who I could rob to be rich. I just worked my fingers to the bone. I’m in here because I was too fucking stupid to say no to a woman who wanted drugs. We went to pick some up with her brother—I stayed in the truck—and next thing I know they got him at gunpoint, shoving him into my truck.” Logan remembered that night all too well, and every time he told the story he felt like a damned fool.
Iggy raised a brow and leaned against the cell door. “So, it ain’t your fault?”
Logan chuckled. “Hell yeah it was my fault. I wanted a piece of ass, and she wanted some grass, and now here I sit.” Logan held his arms out in a wide gesture. “My choice, my fault, and I don’t even smoke weed.”
Iggy nodded. “Yeah, I get you. Maybe there are some of us out there happy with having less. But that girl in that pic ain’t. She been having you smiling like a fool for the past few months, and I know you didn’t take that ass beatin’ for nothin’.” He winked and pushed away from the frame. “Sheeeet, if that was mine, I’d take her ass and—” Iggy stopped when Logan growled. “Shit, man. You ain’t no damned dog. I meant to say, I’d make her mine if I was you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.
Logan stood and limped to his bunk to lay down. His chest hurt, his face hurt, but all that shit didn’t matter. When he woke up, he planned to call Katie and tell her that she was safe . . . and he was falling in love with her.
Katie peeked out the window for the hundredth time. With Teal working overtime for the past week, she hadn’t been able to stay with her the night Logan asked her to stay with a friend. However, she’d promised to come over after work tonight. Logan called every day just to check up on her, and though it was supposed to make Katie feel better, it only worried her more.
Logan didn’t think Jake would come back, but after Logan had fired him, it left Katie wondering if he had more shit planned for them. It took a sick jerk to have a man beat up in prison over a woman from years ago, however when he told Katie that he’d gotten Jake to take his case by threat, Katie realized that Jake most likely had more to prove. Now, she waited for Teal to come over so that she could explain the shit she’d gotten herself into.
When the phone rang, Katie realized that she’d spent the last few months on the phone, or with pen to paper, talking to Logan. Luckily, he only had two more weeks left until his parole hearing. Katie answered the call with a wide grin. It was easy to forget the danger that surrounded Logan when she spoke to him. His warm voice filled the line, and the fear and stress Katie had been living with was gone . . . at least for the moment.
“Hey, baby,” he said, his voice low and gruff as if he’d just woken up.
“You sound tired.” Katie went into her bedroom and sat in front of her laptop. She’d left it open and needed to talk to Logan about what she’d been searching for earlier that day.
Logan yawned, confirming her thoughts. “Nah, not at all.”
“Yep, because I yawn when I’m not tired all the time, baby.” Katie laughed. “Hey.” Her voice turned from playful to serious, and she hoped Logan noticed.
His tone was worried, and Katie thought it should be. “What’s going on?”
She stared at the screen. The guns all looked the same to her: dangerous, but necessary.
“I’m thinking of buying a weapon.” Katie had never considered this before. The need for protection seemed so out of her realm, but maybe she was just as naïve as her father claimed her to be.
Logan’s words were soothing and reassuring when he said, “I can’t imagine my baby with a gun, but it’s a damned good way to protect yourself. Have you ever used one before?”
“Nope,” Katie had never even held one, “but I can take a class. It’s called Gun Safety, and I don’t even need a permit to buy a gun in this state.” That both excited and worried her. While some states had stricter gun laws, Vermont seemed pretty lax in that area.
“I hate the idea of you feeling so unsafe that you feel the need to buy a gun. If I was out, I could be there.”
“Yeah.” She’d thought of that too, but even that was scary. She wasn’t afraid to meet Logan, more like scared out of her damned mind and nervous. “Right now that’s not an option, but I do want to talk to you about that day, too.”
Logan groaned like a child who was told to clean his room. “When a woman says she wants to talk about something, every man in the world cowers in a corner, thinking of everything and anything he could have done wrong.” He let loose a nervous chuckle.
She ran her hands through her hair and smirked. “You’ve done a lot wrong, but you’ve done even more right. You should be thinking about your reward when you get out.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized their meaning.
“Reward?” As if on cue, the tone in Logan’s voice dropped a couple octaves, causing heat to bloom in Katie’s chest. “What’s my reward, baby? And remember, I used to be a bad boy, now I’m reformed. That should get me two rewards.”
Katie laughed. “Greedy! Maybe you can have three or four. Keep up the good behavior and we’ll see,” she purred. Guns and danger instantly forgotten, Katie could only think about how badly she wanted her man free and clear. She didn’t care how hard it would be or what people would say.
“Hell, baby, I’ll be good for the rest of my life if it means I get to keep you.”
“Really?” Her question was real; the flirting was over. She wanted to know where this was going because they could talk all day long, but in a month when Logan was released, all of the talking they’d done would be just that—talking. Katie wanted to know exactly what Logan wanted. “Can we talk about this? I mean, I know we’re together, but what’s next? We haven’t really discussed it. When you get out, what are we going to do?”
Logan’s voice lowered. “You mean privately?”
“No! I know what happens privately.” She covered her face with her free hand and sighed. “I mean, where will you live, work, and all of that? Are you moving back to Kentucky?” The thought made her sick to her stomach. They’d turned a pen pal situation into a long distance one, and Katie didn’t want that, but she knew Logan’s life was there.
“Katie, I’ll have to go back to Kentucky for a while, but not forever. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but if I’m going to be with you, I need to get my shit together.”
“I know,” she said unhappily. “I just hate the idea of you being so far away. But it’s worse now. You’re right up the street and I can’t even visit you. Which reminds me!” How could she have forgotten? “I got your picture!”
“Damn, am I that ugly that you forgot to mention it?”
His joke made Katie laugh out loud. The man was far from ugly. She could picture his lips on her, and his tattooed arms around her, protecting her. While she had fou
nd a new independence, there was still a part of her which enjoyed the safe feeling that being in strong arms gave her.
“Logan, you know damn well you aren’t ugly.”
“You saw me pre-broken nose. I’m going to end up with a lump on the bridge of my nose.” He laughed and Katie did as well.
She leaned back on the bed, tempted to imagine Logan there with her. He was definitely sexy and he knew it. He took pride in his body and stayed fit—two qualities she appreciated about her man. Katie would consider him branded by their love, and his broken nose would forever remind them of the battle they’d won. And she did think of it as a battle in a war they were still fighting. She knew the real war was still to come, but she was ready. While in prison, there was something akin to segregation, and in most cases it was for survival. Logan still had a war to fight against his prejudices when he got out, but Katie wanted to be at his side as he fought them. A bump on his nose wouldn’t stop that.
“I’ll still love ya’ crooked nose and all.”
Logan’s laughter stopped.
When Katie realized what she’d said, she tried to back track. “I . . . I mean, a broken nose won’t stop me from—””
“Katie?” Logan said softly.
Mortified, she covered her face. “Yes?” She was so damned simple. She and Logan weren’t ready for an admission like that, nor was she ready for an admission like that . . . no matter how hard her heart hammered in her chest.
“Calm down. I can’t see you, but I know you are panicking.” His calm tone reminded her that Logan wasn’t one of those men who would run at the idea of a woman earning a place in his heart. “I know what you meant.”
Did he? What did Katie mean? She wasn’t sure herself, but she sure wasn’t about to admit loving Logan. Wait, what was she thinking? They’d only been writing each other for a few months, she couldn’t possibly love Logan. Could she? There was still so much she needed to know about him. There were things a couple needed to discuss before they made it to the “love” portion of their relationship.
“Katie.”
She’d been so deep in thought that she jumped when he spoke. “Yeah?”
“Get out of your head.”
“Too late. I’m trapped in there now.” She couldn’t help but feel a little lost. Why wasn’t Logan as perplexed as she was? “Logan, I just told you I love you and you aren’t freaking out.”
“No, why would I? That’s my plan. I’ll make you fall for me, then I’ll marry you and give you some kids.” Logan paused, and Katie was too shocked to say anything. “Look, I’m thirty-five years old and I am looking to settle down. Fuck all the partying from college and the trouble with the law. I’m not that boy, I’m a man ready to start a life with you. I know it seems rushed, and there will be people along the way who will question our relationship, but we can deal with it . . . together.”
“Like my father?” She didn’t add Teal to the list because she figure it’d be easy to get her to come around. She was her best friend, so she knew Teal only wanted her to be happy.
Logan sucked in a breath, as if he had a damned long list, causing Katie to shudder. “Like your father, my best friend, Trent, my mother, and that’s just to name a few.”
“Your mom?” This was the war she was thinking about earlier.
“Not in the way you think, but yeah. She’s a pain in the ass and a handful.”
Katie could hear the voices of other inmates around Logan.
“She thinks every choice I make is a bad one, so she’ll see you as a mistake . . . I can guarantee it. See, this is what I am talking about, Katie. I’m a grown man, and I won’t let what they say change anything. I hope you won’t either.”
Her heart melted at his words “I won’t. I promise,” she whispered, meaning every word of it. While she wasn’t ready—just yet—to admit her love for Logan, she was ready to admit he was the man for her, the man she planned to make a life with.
She’d fight through the wall erected by hate and prejudices to live her life with the man she was falling in love with. “Baby, from here on out the words racist and convict are banned from this relationship. I’ll admit that I’m nervous about all this, but I’m ready.”
“That’s my woman.” And she was his, and only his, from today until forever. “I have to go, but I wanted to tell you that I need your address.” Without hesitation, she rattled it off, but he stopped her. “I don’t have a pen, just mail it to me, okay?”
Getting up, Katie went to her desk for pen and paper. She quickly jotted down her address on her yellow stationary and shoved it in an envelope. Rules and regulations about not sending her address be damned. While the inmates couldn’t ask for it in the Pen Pal Program, Katie was allowed to offer it. “Okay, I’ll get to it. I have to mail it from my house.”
She couldn’t believe what was happening in her life. For the first time since her mother’s passing, she was starting to feel whole again. There was nothing better than the feeling of freedom accompanied with love . . . it was amazing.
5643 Hanover Lane
The little blue house on the hill, lightly shrouded by trees.
Can’t wait to turn our phone calls into reality. I miss you, and am counting down the days until I can be with you.
Love,
Katie
Teal entered her office and slammed the door. “She is freaking insane!” she seethed. How could Katie be so naïve? Teal threw the letter on her desk and fell into her seat. She knew Katie was lonely, but she was taking this shit to a new level by sending Logan Whyte, a newly paroled inmate, her address.
As soon as Teal had realized that Katie was falling for the bullshit this Whyte guy was giving her, she started making sure Katie’s letters to Logan came past her desk. However, all she had found at the time was that Katie had sent him her picture. Now, the final letter to Logan—since he was pulled from the program due to his release in the morning—had her address. Teal wasn’t sure what to do, but she had to think fast. She’d even thought of telling Katie’s father, but then she’d definitely lose her friend. While they hadn’t been having their normal afternoon lunches together, Teal had assumed that Katie’s excuse for cancelling them to finish the edits on her book was the truth. Picking up the letter again, Teal re-read it. She now knew her friend had lied to her in order to keep up with phone calls from Logan.
Teal lifted her phone and started to dial Jan-Erik’s extension, but stopped. She couldn’t involve him and keep herself out of it. Hanging up, she tried to calm her nerves. This shit was insane. How was she supposed to protect her friend if she kept acting up? Then, an idea hit Teal. She stood and searched her file cabinet, remembering that she had the same yellow paper Katie had. They’d bought it together, but Teal couldn’t remember if she’d used it all or not.
After searching the cabinet again, she gave up and ripped a sheet of paper from her legal pad. It was yellow and had lines, whereas Katie’s paper was yellow without lines, but it’d have to do. Teal sat down at her desk and scrutinized Katie’s handwriting. It’d be easy enough to copy, but what was she to say?
She scribbled out a few sentences, testing and comparing her handwriting to Katie’s. When she was finally happy with the similarities, she wrote a quick sentence, hoping that it would push Logan away. Teal re-read the sentence, and decided it needed more.
If Katie ever found out what Teal had done, it’d be the end of a fifteen-year friendship, and that thought was enough to give her pause. She didn’t know if she was doing the right thing or not, but she was more afraid of losing Katie at the hands of Logan. She knew these men; she worked around them all day, and she didn’t trust any of them one damned bit.
Add to the fact, Logan was rumored to have ties with the KKK, and he’d been beaten up as an initiation just a few weeks ago. He’d denied it, but wouldn’t say why he’d been jumped. For that alone, Teal didn’t understand why the man was granted parole. Other than over population, the prison was equipped to handle a few
more bodies. However, Jan-Erik had said no. He wouldn’t keep these men squashed together.
At the last meeting, he’d explained that handling the prison meant making decisions that would affect everyone in and out of it, and he didn’t want to lose control of Capshaw. She wondered if he knew that he’d lost control of his own daughter.
Teal knew what she had to do. Even if Katie found out and hated her, at least she’d be safe and alive.
Logan,
I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I am not ready. I hope you understand. Please, don’t contact me again.
Kathryn
“Where you headed?” the cabbie grunted when Logan tossed his bag on the dirty, cloth backseat of the cab.
To hell, Logan thought, but said instead, “Rock Mountain Inn.” It was the closest hotel that had a mini bar and a diner close by. He threw his head back and closed his eyes as the cab started to move. He didn’t even watch the prison disappear in the background. His head was aching and his heart had settled in his stomach, creating a home there.
“I know you are glad you got out of there.”
Logan opened an eye to see the cabbie taking quick glances at him. The man was short and stout, with an unkempt beard taking up his entire face. He mulled over the fact that the man didn’t seem the least bit tense about picking up an inmate alone in his cab, but a quick glance at his hand showed one of the prison tattoos Logan was familiar with. They were illegal, so inmates sometimes used mechanical pencils or paperclips as tattoo guns. Uneven lines and shading, accompanied with the excessive scarring, normally gave prison tattoos away.
He didn’t answer the man’s question. If he’d served time and been released, then Logan was sure the man knew how he felt. The driver kept talking as Logan stared at the back of his eyelids.
“Most guys get out of there and have me take them to Jade’s.” The cab made a sharp turn, and Logan reached out for the door to steady himself. Opening his eyes, he gave the driver an annoyed glare. “Sorry, buddy.” Logan was sure that he wasn’t. “Like I was saying . . . Jade’s. You need me to take you there?”
Incarcerated: Letters From Inmate 92510 Page 12
