by A. M. Myers
When I start singing along to The King of Wishful Thinking by Go West, she laughs and peeks up at me. “Still not totally convinced, sir.”
“Just wait.”
Cuddling together on the couch, we watch the movie and by the time Julia Roberts is singing in the bathtub, Quinn admits defeat.
“All right, so you’ve seen the movie a time or two.”
I shake my head. “Try ten or twenty, at least. Insomnia, remember?”
“What kept you up when you were a kid?” she asks, her voice soft as she plays with the hair at the base of my neck and I suck in a breath, fighting back painful memories. Before I can answer her, my phone rings and she pauses the movie to allow me to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Luke?” Clay’s disoriented voice answers and I sit up, offering Quinn an apologetic look for jostling her.
“Clay? What’s going on?”
There’s music thumping in the background and he moves somewhere a little quieter. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m wrong about what?”
“Dad is innocent. I know he is.”
I drop my face in my hand and release a breath. “Clay, no, he’s not.”
“No! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“How the fuck do I not know what I’m talking about?” I snap before remembering that Quinn is still behind me but when I glance back at her, the only expression on her face is a supportive one.
“You were just a kid and you have no idea what was really going on. I’ve been searching for evidence and I’m going to find it. I’m going to get Dad out of jail.”
“Clay,” I whisper, tears springing to my eyes as I think about our mother. “Don’t you think if there actually was evidence to find, someone would have found it by now?”
“They set him up, Luke! The police and the judges and the lawyers, they all set him up.”
“Why would they do that? Think about what you’re saying, Clay. It doesn’t make any sense.”
He scoffs. “Then how do you explain it all?”
“Look, can we meet and talk about this? I’m worried about you.”
“No. I’m not meeting you until I have the proof I need.”
“Clay,” I snap but the dial tone greets me. I grip the phone in my hand as I grit my teeth and let out a roar of frustration.
“Lucas,” Quinn whispers and I glance back at her, expecting to see fear and feeling like shit for not being able to control my temper, just like my father, but instead, she scoots closer with furrowed brows and lays her hand on my back. “What’s going on?”
“Shit,” I hiss, turning back to look at her and this time I’m not even trying to hide the riot of emotions controlling my body right now. “There are things I haven’t told you, Quinn.”
She nods, vulnerability flicking through her eyes for a second and I hate to see it. “Okay. Tell me now.”
“I don’t…”
“No, Lucas. I can tell by your side of the conversation that this is serious and you’re going to tell me what’s going on.”
I sigh. “Babe, I lied to you.”
“About?” she asks with an edge to her voice that I’ve never heard before and my stomach rolls. Fuck, what if she doesn’t want to be with me after I tell her everything? My past is dark and I couldn’t blame her for not wanting this crazy in her life or her daughter’s.
“About my past, my parents.”
“They’re not dead?”
I shake my head. “My mom is dead… and my dad is serving life in prison for murdering her.”
“Oh, God,” she gasps and when I look back at her again, there are tears in her eyes. I scoot back to her side and kiss her softly. When I pull back, she yanks me back to her and presses her forehead to mine and my fear subsides. “Will you tell me what happened?”
“Only if I can do it while holding you,” I answer and she nods before climbing onto my lap and straddling my hips. I suck in a breath as I wonder where to start this story but before I can, she lays her hand flat against my chest, right over my racing heart and the same peace that I’ve felt since the moment I looked into her eyes settles inside me.
“You okay?” She grabs my other hand and holds it tight. I nod.
“Yeah, I’m good now.”
She waits patiently for me to begin my story and when I’m finally ready, I take a deep breath and look up at her.
“I was ten years old when it happened and Clay was five. Dad had lost his job a few months before that and he and Mom had been fighting a lot. I used to lay in bed at night and listen to them scream at each other until the sun started coming up.”
“Is that when the insomnia started?”
I shrug. “I always blamed it on the night she died but I guess it makes sense that it started even before that. Listening to the way they would go at it terrified me but I knew it scared Clay even more so I had to be the big brother. It was my job to protect him and tell him everything was going to be okay.”
She nods and for the first time in my life, I don’t question if she really understands because she’s always understood Clay and my relationship more than anyone else.
“On this one stormy night, I remember that I just couldn’t shake this feeling that something was really wrong and when Mom and Dad started fighting that night, something in me was telling me to run but I didn’t listen to it. The screaming got louder and it woke Clay up. He laid in bed and cried and I tried so hard to keep him quiet because I didn’t want Dad coming after us. And then there was this deafening bang and the whole house went silent, too silent, you know?”
A steady stream of tears pour down her face and I reach up, wiping them away before pulling her down for another kiss, this one a little salty.
“What happened after that?”
My hands shake as the memories flood my mind and she moves in closer, offering me her silent comfort. “Clay was damn near hysterical but I got him to cry into a pillow so Dad wouldn’t hear him as I crept to the door and peeked down the hallway.”
My voice breaks and a tear slips down my cheek as I stare down at our entwined hands.
“Mom was laying at the other end with a pool of blood around her head and Dad was kneeling next to her, staring at the gun in his hand like he had no idea how it got there.”
“What did you do?” she whispers, cupping my cheek and wiping away tears as I work up the strength to continue my story.
“I knew we didn’t have much time and I didn’t know what he’d do to us once he snapped out of his daze so I snuck back into my room and just started throwing as much of our shit as I could into backpacks. Once they were stuffed full, we jumped out of the window and ran for it.”
She leans down and presses her lips to mine. “I’m so glad you made it out safely. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you.”
“Seems you were doing just fine before I came along,” I answer, slipping my hand into her hair and she shakes her head.
“I was surviving… barely. You saved me, Lucas.”
“No more than you saved me, babe. Being around you gives me a feeling of peace I don’t know if I’ve ever felt.”
“I love you,” she whispers, leaning in for another kiss and as her lips meet mine, I want to beat my chest and scream from the rooftops because she makes me feel like a goddamn king. Like I could rule the whole damn world.
“I love you more, gorgeous,” I say when she pulls away and she smiles as she lays her head on my shoulder.
“How did you end up with Iris?”
“Clay and I ran all night long because I was convinced that if social services got ahold of us, I’d never see my brother again. Around dawn, we found this old boxcar along the unused portion of a track in the woods and I always liked to read The Boxcar Children to Clay so he begged me to stay there. I was exhausted at that point so I agreed and we stayed there for two weeks before Iris found us. The boxcar was on her property line and she heard Clay crying in the middle of the night. The next day
she came searching for us and at first, I didn’t trust her but slowly, she won us both over and became our official guardian.”
“I knew I liked her.”
I smile. “She really liked you, too. I’ve already gotten three phone calls about when I’m going to bring you and Brooklyn by next.”
“What does all this have to do with Clay’s phone call?” she asks and I run my free hand through my hair.
“Our dad sent him a letter a little while back, claiming he was innocent and because I never let Clay see our mother dead at the end of the hallway, he believes him. Said he’s going to find evidence to prove our father’s innocence.”
I can feel her scowl against my neck.
“Why would he do that?”
“Clay?”
She shakes her head. “No, your father. What’s the point of putting your brother through all that pain?”
“Believe me, baby, I’ve been asking myself that question every damn day. He used to be a drug addict like Clay is now but I think there’s something else wrong with him. I think he likes watching our pain.”
She pulls back to look me in the eye. “I’m so sorry.”
“You, Darlin’, have absolutely nothing to apologize for. My life is so much better, so much richer since the day you crashed in front of me and I know that no matter what happens with my brother or my dad, I’ll be okay as long as I’ve got you.”
“You’ve got me, Lucas. Always.”
* * * *
Pulling into the last space in the parking lot, I turn off my bike and stare up at the clubhouse as my knee bounces and my mind drifts to my conversation with Clay last night. Quinn and I stayed up late into the night talking about what I could do to help my brother and the one thing that stuck out was the fact that I can’t do this alone. I have tried that route for years now and it’s only made things worse so it’s time to let go of some of this pain and guilt and ask my club, my family, for help. My stomach rolls as I climb off my bike and walk toward the door but I know this is the right decision. Clay is going to hate me for it but with any luck, he’ll be clean and I can worry about our relationship after that.
“Well, well, well,” someone calls as I step into the clubhouse and I glance in the corner where Ali, Storm, Chance, Carly, Kodiak, Tate, and Fuzz are hanging out on the couches. “Look who it is.”
“Hey. What are y’all doing?”
“The better question,” Tate says, studying me with narrowed eyes. “Is where the hell have you been?”
I shrug. “Busy.”
“Yeah?” Ali asks, grinning. “With a certain woman you met recently?”
“Maybe. What’s with the third degree?”
“Are you guys still taking it slow?” she asks, completely ignoring my question and I roll my eyes.
“Not exactly.”
“Ha!” Chance yells. “Pay up, suckers.”
Storm, Kodiak and Fuzz all pass money over to Chance and I shake my head. “Are y’all seriously betting on my love life?”
Ali nods. “Yes, and I had faith that you wouldn’t push that poor girl.”
“Hold up, I didn’t push her. She decided that she was ready for more.”
Storm snaps at Chance. “Give me my money back.”
“Hell, no,” Chance snaps, stuffing the wad of cash in his pocket. “The bet was that they weren’t taking things slow anymore.”
“No,” Kodiak growls. “The bet was that he would be just as pushy as you bastards and convince her to move faster.”
“Don’t sit here and act like you’re not exactly the same way, Lincoln,” Tate scoffs and he grins down at her.
“We’re not talking about me right now.”
“Maybe you should just give me the money and no one wins,” I suggest and they all laugh as Chance stands up and starts handing everyone their cash back.
“So,” Ali prompts. “If you’re not taking things slow, does that mean you’ll bring her to the shower?”
“I don’t know. I’ll ask her but she might not be able to find a sitter.”
Ali’s eyes go wide and I can practically see the maternal instincts pouring out of her. “Aw, she has a kid?”
“Yeah, a little girl.”
She presses her hand to her heart. “How old is she?”
“Like thirteen months, I think,” I answer, shrugging my shoulder. I’m pretty sure that’s how old Quinn said Brooklyn is.
“Fuck, dude. You’re in so deep if you know how old her baby is in months.” Chance laughs and Ali shoots him a look before sighing.
“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute. She’ll be able to play with Magnolia.”
“Absolutely fucking not,” Storm growls, shaking his head. “Fucking veto.”
“What?” Ali asks, rubbing her belly. “It’s a beautiful name.”
“We are not naming our daughter Magnolia.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and glares back at Storm, who shakes his head.
“No way in hell, Kitten. Think of another name.”
“You look different,” Tate adds, standing up from the couch and standing in front of me. I shake my head.
“No, I don’t.”
“Yeah, you do actually,” Carly says.
“He looks less sad,” Ali adds and I sigh as I step away from the couches.
“Y’all need to get control of your women,” I call as I turn toward Blaze’s office and the girls all laugh.
“Listen, brother. The sooner you realize that’s never going to happen, the easier your life will be.”
I stop and turn to face them. “Yeah? Well, then… Storm, I can’t wait to meet Magnolia.”
“Absolutely fucking not!” he yells and I grin as I turn around and walk to Blaze’s office, knocking on the door.
“Yeah,” he calls and I open the door.
“You got a minute?”
He glances up from the paperwork in his hand and nods before pointing to the chair across from him. “Have a seat.”
The yelling from the bar area is loud even after I close the door and he scowls. “What the hell is going on out there?”
“Storm and Ali,” I mutter and he sighs.
“You know, that girl is family now but I’ll be glad when she’s not staying here.”
I laugh. “Don’t let Storm hear you say that.”
“Boy, I wasn’t born yesterday,” he mutters before grinning. “Now, what can I help you with?”
Sighing, I run my hand through my hair and prop my elbows on my knees. “Um, it’s my brother… I need to find a rehab for him and I need help getting him there.”
“Wow,” Blaze whispers, his eyes wide. For years, I’ve refused the help of the club as I tried to fix things all on my own but I know now that I can’t do this by myself. “This is huge. Does it have anything to do with the girl Ali says you met?”
“Quinn?… Yeah. She’s opened my eyes in a lot of ways.”
He nods. “Sounds serious.”
I pull the two carat cushion cut diamond ring that I’ve been carrying around for the last two days out of my pocket and lay it on the table. Blaze’s eyes widen and he lets out a whistle.
“Damn, kid. You dropped some serious coin for that ring.”
I nod. “She’s worth it.”
“I don’t doubt that she is. Does she know everything about you, your past, and what’s going on with your brother?”
“Yeah,” I answer with a nod. “I told her everything last night and she lost both of her parents when she and her sister were little so she understands me in ways that y’all never could… no offense.”
He holds his hands up. “None taken, but you know we just wanted to help.”
“I do know that and now I’m asking for it.”
He turns to the filing cabinet and digs around for a second before pulling out a folder. As soon as he opens it, I recognize the rehab facility on top. When the club decided to go legit all those years ago, Blaze’s actions weighed heavy on him and there was a time whe
n we helped the people that we had once sold drugs to as some sort of penance. Blaze slaps his hand down on the folder and stands.
“Leave it to me and I’ll find the best place I can for your brother, okay?”
I grab the ring off the table and slip it back into my pocket before shaking his hand. “Thanks, Prez.”
“Your family is our family, Smith. Always has been, always will be.”
Chapter Sixteen
Quinn
“Are you nervous?” Lucas asks, reaching for my hand as we approach the clubhouse and I peek over at him, shaking my head.
“No. Should I be?”
He makes a face and holds his hand out in the air, pulling a giggle out of me.
“You’re supposed to make me feel better, not scare me.”
“Well, truthfully,” he says, adjusting Brooklyn in his arms as he stops and pulls me into his body. “Everyone is going to love you but… Ali has been dying to meet you for weeks now and she’s not someone who doesn’t get her way.”
I nod, casting a faux nervous glance toward the door. “So, what you’re saying is I’m about to be swarmed?”
“A little bit, yeah.”
Sucking in a breath, I turn back to the door and square my shoulders. “I think I’m ready.”
“You’re so fucking cute,” he teases, releasing my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders before pulling me into his body. “And have I mentioned that this little skirt you’re wearing makes me want to bend you over a table?”
My cheeks heat. “You know, I don’t think you have.”
“Oh, well it does.” He nips at my ear and I suck in a breath as goose bumps race across my flesh and my nipples pebble.
“Good to know.”
“One more thing…” he murmurs and I turn my head to meet his gaze. Our noses touch and he flashes me the kind of smile that can make me melt in an instant. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Right on cue, Brooklyn squeals from Lucas’s arms and he laughs as he pulls his arm off my shoulders to tickle her belly.
“You just can’t stand when someone else is the center of attention, can you, Princess?”
She pats his face with her little hands and blows a raspberry. Both of us laugh and he blows one back at her, which sends her into a fit of giggles.
