by A. M. Myers
“See, that’s what I’ve been thinking about all night long. Yeah, Clay is my brother but besides a shared past, what do I get out of our relationship? What would my life look like if he was clean and is it enough to make giving up the only woman I’ve ever loved worth it? I don’t know… but I can see my future without her and it looks like fucking shit.”
“So,” he muses. “That’s it, then.”
I blow out a breath. “No, that’s not fucking it because I still feel guilty as hell for even thinking about turning my back on him.”
“Look, I will say that if you decide to cut ties with your brother, you never once turned your back on him. In fact, you’ve taken metaphorical beating after beating from him for years but the simple truth is this - you have to choose. It’s either Quinn or Clay. You can’t have both.”
“Yeah,” I mutter as my phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. “I know.”
Quinn’s name flashes on the screen and my heart jumps into my throat as I answer it.
“Babe?”
“Lucas, it’s Alice…”
My gaze flicks to Fuzz’s as my stomach sinks. “Alice, why do you have Quinn’s phone?”
“Uh… Quinn and Brooklyn are missing. I know something happened between the two of you yesterday but I thought you’d want to know.”
“I’m on my way,” I snap into the phone before hanging up and Fuzz stands as I grab my bike keys off the bar.
“What’s going on?”
“That was Quinn’s sister Alice. Quinn and her daughter are missing and I’ve got to get over there.”
He nods and stands. “I’m coming with you. Lead the way.”
We rush out of the clubhouse and jump on our bikes before peeling out of the parking lot. As I fly through the streets of Baton Rouge, my heart hammers in my chest and my mind races with scenarios. What the hell happened after I left earlier? I wish I had asked Alice before hanging up the phone but I’ll find out soon enough.
Red and blue lights blind me as I pull up to Quinn’s house and I barely get the kickstand down before I’m jumping off my bike and running up the front steps.
“Lucas,” Alice calls as I reach the front door and I turn to the swing where she’s sitting with tears running down her face. Fuzz joins me on the porch and we walk over to her.
“What happened, Alice?”
She sucks in a stuttered breath. “I’m so sorry, Lucas. I shouldn’t have left her.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, sitting next to her on the swing and she wipes away a few tears.
“When I got home from the park with Brooklyn earlier, I found Quinn crying on the kitchen floor but she wouldn’t tell me what happened. She just said that she wanted to be alone.”
Fuck. I never should have left her.
What the hell was I thinking?
“What happened after that?” Fuzz asks and Alice glances up at him before turning to me. I nod to let her know he’s okay and she sighs.
“She somehow convinced me to go out to dinner and a movie with my friends so she could be alone with Brooklyn. When I got home an hour ago, the front door was wide open and they were just gone. Her purse and her phone were still sitting on the island and she was just…gone.”
“Jesus,” I breathe, dropping my head into my shaking hands as my heart thunders in my chest. Fuck. Where could she be? I think back over the past few weeks, searching for clues or signs that she was in danger but nothing stands out to me.
“There’s one more thing,” Alice whispers and I meet her gaze as fresh tears drip down her cheeks.
“When I called the police, they found blood in the entry and the kitchen. They said whatever happened here, she put up one hell of a fight.”
“Smith. Fuzz,” someone says and I glance up as Rodriguez walks toward us, his face somber.
“Please tell me you’ve got something.”
He presses his lips into a thin line. “I have a theory but you’re not going to like it.”
“What?” I ask, scowling when it dawns on me. I shake my head. “You mean my brother? No… Why would he do this?”
He arches a brow. “You mean besides the fact that she identified him as her rapist only hours ago? How about the fact that the results from the DNA test came back? It was a match, Smith. I was going to send some deputies out to pick him up in the morning.”
I shake my head. “He didn’t know about that yet, though, did he? It has to be something or someone else.”
“Well, did you see anything when you were watching the house?” Alice asks and I turn to look at her.
“What?”
“When you and Quinn weren’t talking and you were sitting out front in your truck, did you see anything weird?”
I shake my head, trying to piece together what she’s saying to me but it doesn’t make sense. For the most part of those three days, I was drunk off my ass but was I really stupid enough to drive over here and sit out in front of Quinn’s house? No, I wouldn’t do that. I glance up at Fuzz for confirmation and he shrugs.
“Oh my god,” Alice whispers. “It wasn’t you, was it?”
Shit.
“Clay,” I murmur, shaking my head again before dropping it into my hands. I shouldn’t be surprised that he stole my truck since this isn’t the first time but it still knocks the wind out of me. What kind of fucking game is my brother playing right now?
“Where would he go, Smith?” Rodriguez asks. “Where would he take them?”
I shake my head. “He’s got his usual hangouts but I don’t know where he would take them if he wanted privacy.”
“Well, give me a list and I’ll send guys to check each one.”
I nod and start listing places Clay likes to hang out at when the boxcar we lived in as kids pops into my head. No, he wouldn’t take her there… would he? Right? Blowing out a breath, I stare down at the boards of the porch. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that I have absolutely no idea what my brother would or wouldn’t do but if he is there, I need to find him first.
As Rodriguez and his men leave to start searching, I stand and grab my keys from my pocket.
“Lucas?” Alice asks and I turn back to her. Worry streaks across her face and I force a reassuring smile to my face.
“I’m going to go look, too. Don’t worry, Alice. We’ll find them.”
Fuzz steps forward. “You want company, brother?”
“Naw, you stay here and keep an eye on her.” I motion to Alice and he nods, leaning back against the house as he crosses his arms over his chest, scanning the yard in front of the house.
“Call if you need anything. I’ll let Blaze know what’s going on.”
I nod and jog down the stairs to my bike with a pit in my stomach. As much as I don’t want to believe it, I know that Clay’s got them. I can’t explain it but somehow, I know. I just hope I can get there before he does something that will destroy us all.
The roar of the bike does nothing to drown out my thoughts as I fly toward Iris’s house and I can’t get rid of the awful sinking feeling in my stomach every time I think about Clay taking Quinn and Brooklyn. It doesn’t make any sense. Why the hell would he take them? If he found out about Quinn turning him into the cops, his best bet would be to run or hide out, not kidnap the two of them. Then again, maybe nothing makes sense in his head anymore. Maybe he’s done so many drugs that they’ve just eaten away at his brain. If that’s true though, there’s no telling how far he’ll take this or what he’ll do to my girls.
Please let them be all right, a little voice in my head whispers.
I speed up but it still doesn’t feel fast enough and I’m praying with each breath I pull into my lungs that I get there before Clay does something else that he can’t take back.
When I get close to Iris’s house, I park along the road and cut the engine. With any luck, I’ll be able to sneak up on them and keep Clay from overreacting. Shit, what if he’s not even here? Where else would he go? Sending up a prayer to a Go
d I haven’t believed in since the night Mom died, I hope my brother still has a piece of the old Clay left inside him.
The crickets and frogs greet me as I jog through the trees and as soon as the outline of the boxcar comes into view, it takes me back to all those years ago when I saw it for the first time. Clay and I had been walking all night and he was getting upset, asking questions that I couldn’t answer yet, when he spotted it and begged me to stay there. That first night, neither one of us slept all that well but I felt safe for the first time in a long time and that meant everything. And then for weeks afterward, we did whatever it took to survive because that was all that mattered back then.
Fuck, how the hell did everything go so wrong?
As soon as I get close, I hear Brooklyn crying. My chest tightens and fear races up my spine as I creep along, making as little noise as possible in an attempt to catch him off guard.
“You don’t have to do this,” Quinn pleads, tears in her voice. The sound clouds my vision as my heartbeat thunders in my ears. I’m not above knocking my brother on his ass. In fact, after everything he’s done, it’s the very least that he deserves. Shit, if he was anyone else, I would have put a bullet in his skull a long damn time ago.
“Just shut up!” Clay screams and Brooklyn’s cries grow louder, triggering something inside me. All I can think about is protecting her as I burst through the trees and jump into the boxcar, surprising all three of them. Quinn lets out a shriek. Her hands are tied together in front of her and she has a cut across her cheek and a swollen lip that makes me see red as I turn to my brother. Clay turns to me with Brooklyn in one arm as he points a gun at me with his other hand.
“Lower the gun, Clay.”
His face drops and the gun falls to his side but his finger stays on the trigger as I slowly step toward him.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“I can’t believe it. The proof, Luke. The proof!”
I nod, my gaze flicking to Quinn’s tear stained face for a second before turning back to my brother. “What proof, Clay?”
“The proof!” he screams, waving the gun in the air as he meets my eyes. I suck in a breath. His gaze is glassy and vacant as he stares at me and I shake my head.
“You don’t look so good, brother. How much did you take this time?”
He shakes his head and begins pacing as Brooklyn reaches for me.
“Dada!” she wails. Her wobbly lip and terrified eyes rip my heart right from my chest and I’d do anything to get her away from Clay right now. Taking a deep breath, I remind myself to take it slow and steady so no one gets hurt even though every cell in my body is screaming at me to act now.
“It’s okay, baby girl,” I whisper to her, offering her a smile, but she just cries harder. “Clay, let me have the baby.”
He glances down in his arms like he’s just realizing that she’s there and stares at her for a second before he shakes his head and looks back up at me.
“She’s mine.”
“No,” I answer, shaking my head slowly as I struggle to keep my voice calm. As soon as I met Quinn and Brooklyn, I felt something settle inside me, like this little girl and her mama were always meant to be mine and it doesn’t sit well to hear my brother claim her. “She’s not.”
His brows furrow. “Yes, she is! She’s my daughter.”
“She’ll never be yours!” Quinn yells, struggling against the rope tied around her wrists and I flash her a pleading look as Clay turns to look at her. He lets out an animalistic yell before marching across the boxcar and pointing the gun against her temple.
“Shut up, bitch!”
“Clay,” I snap, my heart jumping into my throat as my thoughts screech to a halt.
No.
No.
No.
“Don’t you dare hurt her, you hear me?”
His arm goes slack at my tense tone and he nods, taking a few steps back as he whispers, “Everything is wrong, Luke.”
“How is it wrong?”
“Dada!” Brooklyn wails again and I can see Clay’s patience wearing thin as he turns to look at the little girl in his arms with a scowl. I have to get her away from him. Once I do that, we can talk and I can calm him down but as long as she’s crying, he’s going to be impossible to reach.
“Hey, Clay,” I say, talking softly as I take a tentative step forward. “Why don’t you let me hold Brooklyn so she’ll stop crying and we can talk? Okay?”
He studies me for a second before nodding and handing Brooklyn over to me. As soon as she’s in my arms, her cries quiet and relief washes through me. I nod in encouragement.
“Okay, now tell me what’s wrong.”
He runs a hand through his long greasy hair as he blows out a breath. “He lied to me, Luke. He told me he was innocent but when I got my hands on the files, all the evidence….”
He gestures wildly to the corner of the boxcar and I spot an open file. Photos of our mother are splayed across the floor and I suck in a breath.
Oh, shit.
“Where did you get those?”
He shakes his head. “This officer at the station. She was nice to me whenever I was locked up and I asked her for help.”
What the fuck?
Why would anyone, knowing how unstable my brother is, give him that file?
“Clay,” I whisper, taking another cautious step toward him. “It’s okay. I know this isn’t what you wanted but it’s not the end of the world.”
He meets my eyes and a single tear slips down his cheek. “I just want a family, Luke. Why can’t I ever have a family?”
“You have me. I’m your family.”
“No,” he seethes, his gaze dropping to Brooklyn as she cuddles into my neck before he turns to look at Quinn. “You went and made yourself a new family to replace me. And you did it with my kid.” He gestures to Brooklyn with the gun and I wrap my arm around her to shield her. “She’s mine.”
I shake my head. “You don’t get to claim her. Not after what you did to her mama.”
“What did I do to her?” he asks, turning to look at Quinn as she struggles to free her hands from the ropes. She freezes and meets my gaze as tears pour down her face. The pleading in her eyes pulls at my heart and it takes all my strength to keep my feet rooted to the ground. I have no clue how far Clay is willing to take this and I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because I didn’t have the patience to handle this situation correctly. Turning back to my brother, I release a breath.
“You raped her, Clay. Don’t you remember that?”
He jerks back with a scowl, studying me before he turns to look at her. “No…I didn’t do that.”
“Yes,” she breathes and his gaze drifts back to her. “You did.”
“I…” He turns to look at me, bewildered. “I wouldn’t…”
“I was out with my friends,” Quinn says, her voice hoarse as she meets Clay’s eyes and holds steady. Goddamn, she’s so strong. “And I went outside to get some fresh air when you pulled me into the side alley. You pushed my dress up and cut my panties off before forcing yourself inside me. When you were done, you smiled at me and left me lying on the ground, bleeding.”
“No,” he mutters, stumbling away from her before turning to me with a look of horror in his eyes. “No. I wouldn’t… I didn’t…”
“You did, Clay. I offered up my DNA to the police and it was a familial match to her rape kit.”
He takes another step back like if he can just get far enough away from me, it will protect him from the truth and I sigh. Running his hands through his greasy hair, he shakes his head and starts muttering to himself.
“Oh my god, I’m him. I’m just like him. What have I done? What have I done?”
Fuck.
This is falling apart, fast.
I glance down at the little girl in my arms before running across the boxcar and placing Brooklyn in Quinn’s lap. I make sure she gets her arms over her before marching back over t
o my brother and grabbing his arms.
“Hey, look at me.”
His vacant gaze flicks to mine. It’s like I’m staring at a ghost as he stares at me and I wonder if I’m already too damn late to save him.
“It’s going to be okay,” I whisper. “We need to go to the police but you can get through this.”
He shakes his head, ripping free of my grip and taking a few steps backward. “I read all the police reports. Mom… she had bruises all over her body. Dad had been beating her for months and then, that night, he just lost it. I remember the yelling. I remember listening to him scream at her that night. And the photos… oh, God, the photos. Mom… she looked so broken and he did that to her. Dad killed her and I…” His voice cracks as he glances over at Quinn and Brooklyn. “I’m a monster, just like him.”
“No,” I force out through the tears building in my eyes. “You’re not just like him. Listen to me, Clay. It’s the drugs. This isn’t who you are.”
He nods, glancing back at Quinn before meeting my eyes again. “I hurt people… just like him. I don’t deserve a second chance.”
“Don’t say that,” I whisper, gritting my teeth. “I know who you are, deep down under all the drugs and pain, I know the kind of person you are and you’re not a monster.”
“I think she would have a different opinion,” he whispers, nodding to Quinn and my chest tightens. “I don’t want to hurt anyone again, Luke. I don’t want to be this person anymore.”
“And you won’t once we get you clean. You’ll do your time and you’ll get clean and you can start a new life that’s better than all this.”
He stares down at the floor for a long second before meeting my eyes and the certainty staring back at me scares the hell out of me. “No second chance, Luke. I’m already dead.”
My world spins as he lifts the gun to his head and I freeze, unable to propel myself forward like my mind is screaming to and he smiles at me.
“I love you, big brother,” he whispers and my heart hammers against my rib cage as tears well up in my eyes. I shake my head, taking a step forward but he pulls the trigger before I can reach him.
“No!” I scream, my voice echoing through the trees around us as Quinn’s screams and Brooklyn’s cries join my own.
