by A. M. Myers
“Quinn!” Alice yells and my gaze jerks to her in the middle of the foyer. She’s staring out of the front window and I turn, gasping at the sight of Lucas standing in front of the stairs, looking up at the house. There are dark circles under his eyes and his t-shirt is wrinkled like he’s spent the last couple days in it, at least, but even in his sadness, he looks so damn handsome I could cry.
“What do you think he wants?” I ask and Alice scoffs.
“Only one way to find out.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I stare out the window and shake my head. “No, I can’t.”
“You have to,” Alice hisses. “This is what you’ve been waiting for.”
She runs into the living room and I suck in a breath as I watch him. He hasn’t moved from his place at the base of the stairs and it scares me that he hasn’t moved. Shit, what if he’s here to end things? Alice walks back in with the blanket I discarded on the couch and tosses it to me. I catch it, glancing down at my tank top and sleep shorts.
“Go talk to him.”
My belly flips as I nod and walk back down the stairs before throwing the blanket around my body. My heart races and my palms sweat as I stop in front of the door and suck in a breath.
“Whatever happens, Sis, it’s going to be okay.”
I nod, despite the pit in my stomach. “Right.”
“You can do this,” she whispers and I nod again, gripping both edges of the blanket in one hand as I take a deep breath and open the door.
Lucas’s gaze flicks to mine and my knees almost buckle as I step out onto the porch, closing the door behind me.
“Hi, Lucas,” I whisper, my hands trembling violently.
“Hey, baby,” he answers, a hint of a smile teasing his lips and I swallow a little bit of my fear as I take another step toward him.
“What are you doing here?”
He drops his head. “I suppose I deserve that.”
“No, you don’t…I just… I don’t know what else to say…”
He nods in understanding as he slowly walks up the three steps between us. When he stops in front of me and meets my gaze, I gasp at the tears shining in his eyes. “This past week has been one of the absolute worst of my life. I’ve been drunk off my ass, fighting with anyone who tried to help me, and angry at the whole damn world. It wasn’t until last night that I realized the thing I needed the most to make me feel better was the one thing I was avoiding.”
“Which is?”
“You, sweetheart,” he whispers, reaching up and brushing his thumb over my cheek. His touch sends goose bumps racing across my skin and my eyes drift closed as I let it sink in. “It’s always been you.”
“I don’t know how you can even look at me.”
“Quinn,” he chastises. “I love you. Looking at you is one of my favorite damn things. Why would that be any different now?”
I grab his hand and press it against my cheek as I look up at him. “You know why.”
“Tate mentioned something about you thinking that I blamed you but I had hoped that she was wrong.”
“It’s just…” I start, my lip wobbling. “If I hadn’t confronted him about what he did to me… maybe he wouldn’t have…”
“Stop right now,” he snaps, his gaze hard as he stares down at me. “This is the very last time I want to hear you say anything like this. You had every right to confront him. Every. Fucking. Right. And what he did, the turmoil that drove him to end his life… that was there long before either one of us ever laid eyes on you. This is not your fault.”
“How are you so put together right now?” I ask, watching him in awe. Yes, he’s sad - that’s clear to anyone that looks at him but seeing him now, I have no doubt that he’s going to be okay. He smiles and pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me.
“Well, for starters, I’m holding you and like I told you when we first met, you make everything else melt away. Also because I know he’s in a better place now. He’s free of the drugs and the pain that weighed him down his entire life and I have to believe that Mom was waiting for him with open arms.”
“I thought you would be…”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “Baby, there’s a reason you haven’t seen me all week. I’ve been to hell and back over everything that happened but I know I did everything I could for my brother. I have no regrets and like I said, he’s at peace now. And, for what it’s worth, so I am.”
“I’m so sorry, Lucas. I never wanted this for you.”
He smiles, pulling me closer and pressing a kiss against my forehead. “I know you didn’t, baby, but like I said, I really am okay.”
“I don’t see how…”
“Look, it’s sad and I’m going to miss him but I’ve been missing my brother for a very long time. The drugs ate away at so much of him that he hasn’t been my brother for years and the worry I always carried around with me is gone now. As shitty as it sounds, I’m free now, too, and I think Clay would want that for me. There will probably be a piece of me missing for the rest of my life but that’s been the case since the moment we met. I was just hanging on to the hope that I might get him back someday.”
“And where does that leave us?”
“In exactly the same spot we were in the morning we went to the police. I love you, Quinn Dawson, and I’ll tell you again, there is no future for me without you or Brooklyn.”
I shake my head and take a step back. “Everything is so complicated now.”
“Really? Because I’d say things are less complicated now than they were before. I’ve lost my brother and I’ve got to learn to live with that but I can’t lose you, too. You are everything to me, baby. You and that little girl inside.”
I shake my head. “You really don’t blame me?”
“The thought never even once crossed my mind, sweetheart.”
“And you love me?” I ask, my hands shaking and my heart racing for a whole new reason now. He smiles.
“With every broken, twisted piece of my heart and soul.”
I nod, studying him as I hold back a grin. “I guess there’s only one thing left to do then.”
“Yeah?” he asks, arching a brow. “What’s that?”
“Kiss me.”
He grins and pulls me closer. “Yes, ma’am.”
Epilogue
Quinn
Three Months Later
“Babe,” Lucas drawls as he rounds the front of the truck and takes my outstretched hand. “You really don’t have to do this with me. I don’t want to upset you.”
I glance up at the gravestones and turn back to him with a smile. “It’s not upsetting me, Lucas. I’m here for you. Always.”
“But after everything he put you through…” His voice trails off as his gaze flicks to Clay’s grave. “I don’t expect you to come with me.”
Rolling my eyes, I grab the bouquet of flowers from the seat and close the door to the truck before turning toward the grave with his hand in mine. It won’t do me any good to continue arguing with him - something I’ve learned countless times over the past three months. He’s so careful not to say or do anything that might trigger memories in me that I have to show him that I really am okay before he will actually believe it.
“Let’s go,” I urge, stretching my arm out in front of us and he sighs. As we walks across the grass with the early morning dew still clinging to its blades, my mind drifts back to Clay’s funeral. It was another instance where Lucas tried to keep me from going in an effort to protect me but I refused. Part of loving this man is standing by his side even when it’s uncomfortable for me. Not that I didn’t get anything from the service. As I listened to Lucas and Iris tell stories from Clay’s childhood, something happened inside me - almost like he became two different people. The first, Lucas’s little brother - a sweet, funny, charismatic boy who had been hurt more than any person ever should and the second, the man who was being eaten alive by that pain until he had no other choice but to lash out to free himself from some of
it.
If I learned anything that night in the boxcar, it was that what Clay did to me was never about power or malice. It wasn’t even all that sexual. He was just someone in a tremendous amount of pain and when he couldn’t take it any more, he tried to find some comfort in something other than the drugs he had relied on for years but because of the drugs, he did something he never would have done sober. As the man I love said good-bye to his brother, I was able to forgive him - not only for myself but for Clay, too. I sincerely hope that Lucas was right. I hope Clay is free and finally at peace now somewhere beyond the clouds with their mother by his side.
Besides, in a weird turn of events, I suppose I’m even thankful for what he did.
Yes, it was horrific and the single worst thing I’ve ever experienced but through that night, I gained Brooklyn and no matter how she was conceived, she’s been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Glancing over at the other biggest blessing I’ve found, I squeeze his hand and smile. I went through hell when Clay raped me but it led me here - to the family that I’ve always wanted and I couldn’t be happier.
Epilogue
Part Two
Lucas
One Month Later
“Shit,” I whisper, my heart thudding in my chest as I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and stare down at the engagement ring I’ve been carrying around since before my brother died. I think I knew from the moment I met her that Quinn was the One but after everything that happened with my brother, I didn’t want to rush anything. We both needed time to just settle into our new normal and damn, I’m so glad that I did.
About a week after Clay’s funeral, Alice moved into her own apartment a few blocks away and I moved in with my girls. There’s something to be said about the feeling of coming home to them after a long day with the club and for the life of me, I can’t understand why I was so quick to laugh it off whenever Storm, Chance, or Kodiak talked about it before I met her. Hand to God, there is nothing better than the smile that spreads across my woman’s face when she first sees me at the end of the day. It makes me feel like a goddamn king and that’s why I know it’s time to lock it down.
Well, that and the not so subtle hints that Alice has been dropping about Christmas being Quinn’s favorite holiday and how perfect it would be if I proposed now.
I roll my eyes.
My new almost sister-in-law is about as subtle as a brick to the face. Actually, she reminds me a lot of Tate in that way.
“You ready?” Alice asks, poking her head into the room with Brooklyn in her arms.
“Dada!” she squeals, reaching for me and I grin as I strut across the room and scoop her out of Alice’s arms. She’s decked out in a red and white dress that makes her look like a little angel.
“Hey, gorgeous girl. You ready to surprise your mama?”
This morning, Brooke and I woke Quinn up with breakfast in bed before we all got dressed and did a little Christmas shopping downtown. When we just so happened to stumble upon the horse drawn carriage I had hired for the afternoon, I talked her into going for a ride around the city and I reveled in the look of complete joy on her face as we all cuddled together in the carriage. Once we got home, I sent her off to have some “me time” and get her nails done as Alice instructed because apparently, it’s a must that her nails be nice if I’m going to pop the question.
Whatever.
It gave me the perfect amount of time to set up my surprise in the garden but she’s due back soon and we need to get out there.
“Nervous?” Alice asks with a grin and I shake my head.
“Naw. Your sister was made for me.”
She laughs out loud and pats my cheek before turning away from me. “Oh, Lukie. I had you pegged from the start.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I yell after her but she just laughs again and I sigh as I swipe the ring off the dresser and slip it into my pocket. Once we get outside, I set Brooklyn in the wagon Alice and I decorated to look like Santa’s sleigh and I suck in a breath as I tuck the ring into the special ornament I had made to hold it. Alice lets out a whistle just as I’m hanging it on a nearby tree and my heart hammers against my chest as I wipe my hands again and turns toward the direction of the driveway.
“Alice?” Quinn says, her voice drifting from the front of the house and I hit the button for the first set of lights to come on. She gasps and I can’t help but grin. “What the hell is going on here?”
“There’s a surprise for you.”
“Where’s Lucas?” she asks and her sister laughs.
“So impatient,” Alice teases. “Just follow the path.”
I press the second button and the little candy canes light up on either side of the path as Quinn gasps again.
“What in the world are the three of you up to?” she asks as her voice grows closer and I lean down, scooping Brooklyn out of the wagon as I hit the last button and the entire garden springs to life - thousands of white twinkling lights casting a glow over the house and yard.
“Lucas,” Quinn breathes as she rounds the back of the house and even in the dim light, I can see the tears in her eyes. “What is this?”
“Welcome home, baby,” I call, smiling and she shakes her head as she closes the distance between us and glances down at Brooklyn’s dress.
“What are you all dressed up for, baby girl?”
I laugh. “We have a surprise for you, Mama.”
“You mean besides all this?” She motions to the lights hanging off the trees above us and I nod as I set Brooklyn on her feet and hold her little hand in mine. Quinn’s gaze rakes down my chest before meeting my eyes with heat in her own. “You look real good, baby.”
“Well, thank you, but that’s not the surprise.”
She wiggles in front of me, flashing me an impatient look that I know all too well. “Well, get to it, Smith. It’s cold out here.”
“Alice,” I say and she steps out of the shadows to take Brooklyn’s hand with a smile on her face. She winks at me and I nod. Turning toward the tree next to me, I grab the ornate silver ornament I had designed and hold it up for Quinn to see. “This is for you.”
Grinning, she takes a step toward me and reaches up, gently running her fingers across the surface of it. “It’s gorgeous.”
I can barely hear her over the rushing in my ears as I suck in a breath and meet her gaze. “You should open it.”
“Open it?” she asks, scowling at me and I nod as I extend my hand. With her brows furrowed, she takes the ornament from my hand and inspects it for a second before gently lifting it open to reveal the ring I showed her months ago. Her shocked gaze flies to me and I smile. “Lucas?”
“Four months ago, I stood on our front porch and showed you that very same ring. Do you remember?”
“Of course,” she breathes, her eyes watering at she watches me.
“I told you then that there was no future for me that didn’t involve you and that little girl back there,” I say, pointing to Alice and Brooklyn. “And it still holds true today. You and I… we’ve been through so much, baby, and we’ve managed to come out on the other side stronger than ever. Each day, you inspire me to be a better man, the kind of man you deserve to have by your side, the kind of man that little girl deserves to have for a daddy, and I’m so in awe of your strength and your incredible, beautiful heart. Just when I think I’ve got you all figured out, you do something that surprises the shit out of me and makes me love you even more.” I step forward and take the ring out of the ornament as I grab her trembling hand. “I never would have gotten through the last few months if it hadn’t been for you and your unconditional love, Quinn. You build me back up when I am weak and you make me believe in happy endings when the world has done all it can to break my faith.” Smiling, I drop down to my knee and hold the ring up as tears run down her face. “I love you with every fucking piece of me, Quinn Evelyn Dawson. Please tell me you’ll make me the happiest, luckiest son of a bitch alive and agree to be my wife?�
��
“God, yes,” she whispers, holding her hand out to me and I slip the ring on her finger before standing and pulling her into a kiss so powerful it could keep these lights blazing all night long. Laughter and clapping greet us from Alice and Brooklyn and Quinn laughs as she pulls back, meeting my eyes. “I love you, you sweet, beautiful man.”
“No more than I love you.”
She’s about to protest when I see Alice hand my second surprise off to Brooklyn and I press my finger to her lips.
“There’s one more thing.”
She quirks a brow. “Yeah? What’s that?”
I turn her around and point to Brooklyn as she tottles over to us with the envelope in her hands and Quinn peeks over her shoulder at me with a questioning expression.
“Is that for me, baby girl?” she asks, crouching down in front of Brooklyn, who squeals and hands her mama her second surprise. Quinn’s gaze flicks from the envelope to me and back again as she peels it open and pulls the papers out, gasping.
“What?”
Holding my hand out, I wait until Brooklyn grabs it before lifting her into my arms. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right. Biologically, she may not be mine but in my heart, this little girl belongs to me. I love her almost as much as you do and I would be honored to adopt her as my own.”
“Lucas,” she gasps, crying as she covers her mouth with her hand. “Are you sure? You can’t take this back. This is forever.”
“Baby,” I breathe, shaking my head. “When are you ever gonna learn…”
She smiles and pulls me closer. “You never say things you don’t mean.”
“So believe me when I say that this is what I want. Forever. And on my death bed, when I look back at my life and all the memories and love the three of us will share, I’ll smile and tell anyone who’ll listen that I lived a damn good life.”
“Okay,” she muses, smiling at her daughter before her gaze flicks back to me. Heat dances in her eyes and my heart kicks in my chest. “Do you know what I’m going to say next, then?”
