by Tee Smith
The memory reverberated in his mind as he watched Austin trot around the yard on Kimba. He had wanted to ride the bulls, like the big boys. He’d even won a ribbon or two in the junior stakes. The broncos were his passion. He felt it was a honed skill, far more so than bull-riding. He’d happily leave that for the adventure seekers.
“Lean in further, and tug the rein to the left when you want the horse to turn,” he called out to the boy. He’d been giving lessons when he could. Callie and Grace were both proficient riders, but for some reason, Austin had resisted it. Until now.
“You’re a good teacher; he is going really well.” Callie smiled as she drew up beside him and rested her forearms on the fence.
He smiled broadly and draped an arm around Callie’s waist. “He told me he wants to ride a bull, so I told him he needs to learn to ride a horse first. He’s good. A natural. I guess riding’s in his blood.” He squeezed her closer and dropped a kiss onto her hair. The scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils, and he closed his eyes briefly, taking it in.
“Argh,” Austin’s cries pulled him from his moment.
“Just pull back gently. The horse can tell if you’re scared. Just relax,” Callie called out to her son.
Following his mother’s instructions, Austin pulled the horse to a halt in front of them both.
“I think you’re almost ready to go for a ride out to the creek,” Cody stroked the horse's nose as it let out a soft bray.
“I think the bike is easier,” Austin let out an anxious laugh.
“That’s because you feel like you have greater control. As you ride more, you learn how to make your horse work with you; it needs to trust you, know you are in control and that you won’t hurt her. Then you’ll find a piece of metal can’t compare to the real thing.”
Austin passed an uneasy glance to his mother.
“You’re doing good out there, mate,” she encouraged. “Keep it up.”
“Wanna go again?” Cody asked. “Do a few more rounds, then I’ll saddle up, and we can go out of the yard together.” He had him riding Kimba, Grace’s steed, knowing the mare had a good temperament and was used to a younger, less experienced rider. He hoped Grace wouldn’t mind too much. It was always hard to know with those two. One minute they seemed to love each other and were looking out for each other, the next they were like mortal enemies. He hadn’t had any siblings, so he didn’t know, but he suspected that was somewhat normal.
“I love that you got him riding. I haven’t been able to get him in the saddle for years.” Callie smiled up at him. “My dad used to lead the kids around the yard. Grace loved it right from the get-go. Adam would tell Austin it was a girly thing to do, and of course, being a boy, he just wanted to be a big man like his dad.”
Cody scoffed. “I think Adam was just too scared to get on a horse. Austin is more of a man than his dad will ever be.”
Looking back up to watch her son trot around the yard, she shielded her eyes and nodded. “I agree, but don’t let Austin hear you say that. He thinks world centres around his dad.”
“I suppose we all do at that age,” Cody agreed. He had thought there wasn’t a thing in the world his dad couldn’t do.
“I know I was.” Callie laughed, her laughter tinged with sadness. “I just wish he would have told me to stay away from Adam.”
“Would you have listened?”
“Probably not,” she answered as she shook her head. “I thought getting out of Harlow’s Bend was the best thing. I think I was so determined not to fall in love with a cowboy, that instead, I fell for the first man that wasn’t.”
“Yeah, can’t trust those cowboys.” He tipped his hat and smirked.
“Right,” she agreed with a chuckle and a jab to his ribs with her elbow.
“Oww,” he feigned, clutching his side. “You’re gonna have to kiss that better now.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll use any excuse to get my lips on your body, won’t you?” she teased, running her fingers up his side.
She wasn’t wrong. Reaching out, he wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her into himself, pushing his lips into hers. He loved being around her. Loved that it was out in the open and he didn’t have to sneak around behind the kids’ backs anymore.
Within a couple of hours, Austin was handling the horse like he had been riding his whole life. Cody had taken him down to the creek as promised, and they stopped for a break.
“You really like my mum, huh?” Austin’s voice dropped an octave, making him sound younger than his twelve years.
“Yeah, yeah, I do,” Cody agreed.
“Are you going to get married?”
A lump rose in his throat, threatening to choke his words. He hadn’t expected that question. “It’s only early days, mate.”
“My dad says she’s just using you.”
“You told your dad about me?” This kid was full of surprises.
Austin nodded. “Mum says we shouldn’t keep secrets.”
“No, your mum’s right,” he agreed.
“I don’t think Mum is using you. I don’t know why dad says things like that.”
Seconds passed before he realised Austin was waiting on a response. “Well, I don’t know your dad, but I think sometimes people find it hard to move on. They might not want to be with someone, but they don’t want them to be with someone else. Does that make sense?”
“Not really?” Austin shook his head. “I mean, dad got a new girlfriend.”
“Do you like her?” he asked curiously.
“No!” His answer was emphatic and without hesitation. “She hates us.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” he tried. Not knowing if it was or not, but overwhelmed by the desire to protect Austin’s feelings.
“That’s why dad doesn’t come to see us.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“No, but he’s always too busy with her and her kids.”
“That must really suck.”
“Yeah,” Austin huffed out, picking up a rock and throwing it at the water that bubbled through the winding creek. They watched it hit the water with a small splash. “I miss having him around. I mean, I know we never did much. He’s always busy. Mum says she gets upset because he promises us stuff, but doesn’t do it. I know he wants to.” He let out a long frustrated sigh. “Do you know what it’s like living with two girls?”
Cody chuckled at the question and shook his head.
“It’s all about hair products, and fashion, and stuff,” he went on. “At least dad talked about golf and man stuff.”
“Do you like golf?”
“Don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’ve never been allowed to go. Dad always said I was too young. Mum says that’s rubbish, and we should be allowed to do stuff. Dad nearly had a heart attack when Granddad taught us how to ride the quads.” A laugh escaped from the boy’s chest, and Cody realised it was the first time he had heard him laugh in weeks. “Mum’s pretty cool like that. At least she lets us do stuff.”
After spending the last weeks with Callie, he struggled to imagine her married to a stiff. She was bubbly and adventurous—no wonder she hadn’t been happy in her marriage.
“Should we head back inside? It will be dark soon,” Cody asked. “Mum will probably have something on the stove for dinner. We don’t want her to worry about us.”
“Sure,” Austin sang, springing to his feet and making his way back to Marla and Kimba. He still needed a hand to mount, but he would get the hang of it soon enough. “Thank you, Cody,” he said as he settled into his saddle for the ride home. “This has been the best day I’ve had since we moved here.”
“No worries, mate.” Cody smiled up at him and gently slapped his knee. “It’s been good hanging out. I enjoyed it too. We should make a habit of it.”
They rode home in relative silence, but Austin’s words played over and over in his mind. The kid just wanted the love and attention of his absent father. Poor Callie, no matter how hard she tried, the
re was no way she could fill that void for him.
Chapter Twelve
“I loved seeing you with Austin today.” Callie tucked her legs under herself as she leaned into Cody on the veranda’s swinging seat. Crickets chirped somewhere off in the distance, and she breathed in the peace. It was the happiest she had felt in a good long while.
“He is a good kid,” Cody agreed. “I think I probably enjoyed it as much as he did.”
“Do you ever think you will have kids?” she asked.
Cody pulled back slightly, and she quickly realised he had not expected her line of questioning. “I, um,” he stammered, presumably searching for the right response. “I guess I always thought if I met the right person I might.”
“Ahh . . . holding out for Mrs. Right, hey?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood. She hadn’t meant to put him on the spot. It was just a conversation.
“Funny you should say that, actually,” Cody replied. “Austin asked me today if we were going to get married.”
The sip of wine she had taken worked its way up her throat and threatened to choke her. Letting out a small cough, she felt her cheeks redden with the burn of embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she managed out, both an apology and question.
“I told him it was early days yet. Don’t want to get the kids' hopes up.”
“I’m sorry, Cody. See, this is why I didn’t want the kids to know about us. It makes it awkward.”
“It’s better that they know, though, right? I mean, no secrets and all that?” he threw her words back at her. She had always told her kids that keeping secrets wasn’t healthy, that nothing good could come from them. “He’s struggling, Cal.” His tone turned serious. “Austin. He misses his dad. Thinks he’s been abandoned for the new woman and her kids.”
“He told you that?”
“Not in those words, but yeah. Pretty much.”
Her mind turned to what Mr. Olsen had said. She hadn’t shared with Cody. She knew he’d be angry.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that,” she admitted. “I do my best, but I can’t force Adam to be a proper father.”
“I know,” Cody soothed, dropping his arm around her shoulders and tugging her close to him before taking a swig of his beer. “He doesn’t blame you for any of it.”
“Are you sure about that?” she asked bitterly. “Because he sure as hell has been vocal about not being happy about moving to Harlow’s.”
“He’s at that age. It’s hard. Boys need a male figure around to teach them how to be men.”
“Oh boy, where have I heard that before?” she grumbled, and was met by Cody’s questioning gaze.
“I don’t mind doing some stuff with him while I’m here.”
There it was. The fateful words. While I’m here. The not so subtle reminder that he was indeed a drifter, he would pass through their lives, and move on with his own. All cowboys were the same. They had wanderlust in their veins. That was why she’d never settle for one. Adam had seemed so safe. Then again, look where being safe had gotten her. Had she known she’d end up being a single mother with two kids, all her father’s debt, and alone back in Harlow’s Bend all those years ago, she would have run the other way.
“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”
Cody’s words dragged her from her thoughts. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she lied. The truth was, she knew her time with him was limited. Either she pulled away or enjoyed it while it lasted. She just had to remind her heart not to get invested in this man; otherwise, he was going to break it.
“I owned you that time.”
“You’re cheating!”
Callie smiled to herself as she listened to Cody and Austin in the next room. If nothing else, Cody had been good for Austin. His teacher was right about one thing; it was good for him to have another man in the house. Even if he was smarmy enough to think it should be him. Her stomach churned with the memory of it. She hadn’t told anyone, didn’t feel right talking about it. She sometimes wished her dad was still around. Then again, Vin would have wanted to confront the asshole.
The shrill ring of the phone dragged her from her thoughts, and she pulled the spoon from the concoction on the stove, resting it on a saucer. It was starting to smell good; the aroma of herbs mingled with the sweet smell of lamb filled the air.
“Carrillo Estate,” she answered. It was the same way she had answered this phone since she was a child, the same phone too. An old rotary dial type that hung on the kitchen wall. The kids had been amazed to find it still worked. It was certainly a relic.
“Callie?” an uncertain voice came down the line, but she recognised it straight away.
“What do you want, Adam?” she asked her ex-husband.
“I want to speak to my son.”
“Then why didn’t you call his mobile?” After all, he had been the one who had insisted on buying both the kids' mobile phones when she moved to Harlow’s Bend. So he could call them, he had said, then barely had.
“I’ve been calling his mobile. He’s not answering it.”
Callie’s gaze fell to the device, resting on the arm of the lounge chair. Austin, lost in his game, laughed as he turned a plastic steering wheel in both hands while staring at the plasma screen on the wall.
“Austin,” she called, placing her palm over the receiver. “Your dad’s on the phone.”
A look of annoyance flashed across his face but was quickly replaced by excitement as he processed why she had interrupted his play.
“I’ll be back,” he shot at Cody, before making his way to the kitchen to take the call.
Returning to her pot on the stove, Callie tried to block out Austin’s voice, which she noticed had taken on a much younger tone. She knew he missed his dad, even if he barely bothered being a dad anymore. Hell, she missed her dad, and she was a grown woman.
“Mmm, that smells amazing.” Cody’s big hands came to rest on her hips, and her eyes flashed to Austin, who was facing away from her. Even though the kids knew they were together, it still made her feel awkward.
“That would be the herbs.” She smiled up at him. “Grace picked them fresh from her little patch.”
Cody nuzzled his nose into her hair and nibbled at the soft spot just below her ear. “Yeah, that smells good, too,” he murmured.
“You’re incorrigible,” she laughed, swatting at his hands, but leaning into him at the same time.
“You like it,” Cody teased in return.
“Mm, maybe,” she moaned softly as his lips moved down her neck. She liked their easy banter. Loved the way he knew exactly how to touch her. How long had it been since she had felt wanted? Had Adam ever made her feel that way? Maybe in the beginning. She couldn’t even remember now.
“Dad’s coming on Saturday for the rodeo,” Austin announced excitedly.
His voice ripped her from her moment of bliss, and she took an automatic step out of Cody’s embrace. “That’s good,” she managed out, trying to swallow back her disappointment.
“He said me and Grace can go home for the term break, and he’ll bring us back.”
“Did he?” she forced a smile. She wasn’t sure what hurt most, the fact he was excited at spending two weeks away from her, or the fact Austin still called her marital home “home.” She supposed Carrillo Estate had always been home to her. “That will be nice for you.”
“What? What will be nice?” Grace asked, commanding all eyes to her, as she dropped her filthy riding boots down on the tiled kitchen floor.
“You’re going to have to take those boots outside, miss,” Callie cried at the realisation that she would need to sweep and mop the floors again before the weekend. Although, her concerns were drowned out by Austin excitedly informing his sister of their father's plans.
“Choice,” Grace used her father’s favourite expression but sounded about as impressed at the prospect as Callie felt.
“He said he’s organised surfing lessons, and he’s going to take me to his golf d
ay and . . .”
“Do you actually believe all that shit, Aus?”
“Grace. Language,” Callie admonished, taken aback by her daughter’s words.
Looking back at her mum, Grace’s blue eyes opened wide. “Well, it’s true, Mum, and you know it. He’s full of hot air.”
“You’re just jealous because he wants to do stuff with me,” Austin retorted.
“Am not. Who’d want to hang out with him and his stupid friends anyway? I’d rather stay here. He better let us stay for the show.”
The kids had only ever seen one rodeo. As much as Callie had wanted to bring them up through the years, Adam had always stopped her. “Rodeos are no places for kids,” he had said. “Just because you were brought up with filthy cowboys doesn’t mean my kids will be.”
He’d kind of had a point. She hadn’t known any different. There hadn’t been a time when she didn’t remember there being mud on the ground or dust in the air. Her father was a cowboy, but he was a good, honest, genuine man, and she loved him. He had raised her, loved her, and taught her everything she needed to know, except how to be a mother. And at times like this, she felt a little lost. Would it have been different if her mother had stayed? If she’d had someone to ask for advice?
“C’mon,” Cody interrupted her thoughts. “Let’s help your mum get this table laid for dinner, hey?”
A few grumbles filled the air, but the kids knew what they had to do. Grace headed out the back with her muddy boots, and Austin went back to the living room to turn off his game.
“Are you okay?” Cody asked, moving to stand in front of her. He slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his gaze.
Tears burned behind her eyes, but she wouldn’t let him see them fall. “Yep,” she managed out through the lump that had formed in her throat. “Just stuff that I have to deal with.” She drew her shoulders up and dropped them again.
