Wade.
“Fuck. Oh, God, baby, it’s okay now,” he whispered raggedly as he held her close, his voice strangely muffled.
Two things registered at once through her dazed mind as she tipped her head back to look at him. Wade really had found her.
And he was wearing a HAZMAT suit.
Danger Close: Chapter Twenty-Three
Wade was frantic by the time they got Erin up and out of the rubble. He lifted her through to the emergency worker above ground and quickly scrambled through after her. She was covered in blood and a fine powdery gray dust, cradling her left arm against her body. The skin was split wide open halfway up, the jagged end of a bone showing through.
Shit.
Boosting himself through the hole in the rubble, Wade took Erin from the man holding her and bundled her up against his chest. He ran for the nearest medical tent, cursing the damn suit they’d made him put on before entering the scene. “You’re okay,” he panted, the stitches in his wounded leg burning as he raced to the tent.
Her eyes were dilated, her entire body shaking from shock and cold as she took in the scene of utter chaos and devastation around them. People dressed in HAZMAT suits were everywhere, along with heavy equipment and armored vehicles. Military and civilian units alike had converged on the scene. Victims were being dragged out of the rubble from the remains of the building and the surrounding blast area. Already a row of bodies had been laid out beside one of the medical tents, covered in plastic tarps. Survivors were streaming in for treatment, needing decontamination and medical care for blast and crush injuries.
“Brady’s still down there,” she mumbled against his shoulder.
“They’ll get him, don’t worry.”
“He’s hurt b-bad.” Her voice was hoarse.
“They’ll get him out,” he repeated, focused only on getting her help.
“Is there radiation?” she managed through chattering teeth.
He couldn’t lie to her. “Yes.”
“Oh God.” She curled tighter into his chest and closed her eyes.
“It’ll be okay.” He’d goddamn make it okay.
She remained silent as he burst into the tent and a team descended on them. Though he hated to let her go, he handed her over and let them take her into a decontamination area while someone checked his suit. He stood with his arms out and his legs apart while they looked him over.
“You’ve got a hole here,” the woman said to him, brown eyes worried as she looked up at him through her plastic mask.
He glanced down and behind him to see a tennis ball-sized hole at the back of his leg. Ah, shit. Must have caught it on a piece of rebar on the way down to get Erin. Resigned, he headed back to the shower stall and started stripping off the protective suit and his clothes.
A blast of cold water hit him and two people entered the stall to scrub him down with strong soap and water. His wounds stung but he didn’t care, too busy worrying and caught up in his fear for Erin. Nobody knew how much radiation had been leaked with the initial blast. He could still lose her if she’d been exposed to a high enough level of it.
Terror punched through his chest and wrapped around his heart, squeezing it in a relentless grip. He forced it back, reminding himself that she didn’t appear to show any symptoms of radiation poisoning yet, so the exposure might have been minimal.
Someone handed him a towel. He dried off as they scanned him for radiation, the Geiger counter giving a low-level reading. After throwing on some scrubs, he hurried to the back of the tent where they were treating Erin. They’d wrapped her up in a blanket after washing her and laid her on a cot amidst several other patients.
A restraining arm blocked his way. “Sir, you’ll have to wait out here.”
“I’m going in with her.” He shoved past the man without hesitation, intent on getting to Erin.
Her face crumpled when she saw him. Wade cursed and knelt beside her bed, grasping the hand she reached out for him. They’d bandaged her left arm to slow the bleeding and started an IV, but he knew she needed surgery to repair the severe fracture. She had to be in agony and it tore at him.
He caught the back of her head in one hand and cradled it to his chest, bending to press his cheek against her wet hair, feeling helpless. The sting of antiseptic soap burned his nostrils. “It’s gonna be okay now, sweetheart. I’m staying right next to you.”
Her fingers gripped the front of his scrubs as sobs ripped through her. Unable to do anything, he closed his eyes and stroked her hair as he held her. He didn’t know how much time passed before they finally rounded up an ambulance to transport her to the hospital, but when they arrived there it was clear the facility was completely overwhelmed by the large influx of patients.
Minutes after entering, staff took Erin away for more treatment and tests, and a doctor ordered a battery of tests on Wade. He submitted because he had to, and because it was the quickest way for him to get clearance and access to Erin. After his tests they told him she was being prepped for surgery, so once he was done with his blood work and given medical clearance he went and sat in the hallway outside the O.R, as close to her as he could get.
While he was waiting, he got word that they’d brought Schafer into the E.R. Wade found him, standing back as the team examined him and did some initial treatment. Both his legs were busted up bad, and he wasn’t breathing well, but he was conscious and alert. A nurse snapped the curtain around his bed closed. Moments later, a guttural cry of pain emerged from behind it. When it opened, Wade stepped inside.
Schafer was pale and sweaty as they bandaged up the hole in his right side again. “Fuck I hate chest tubes,” he muttered, wiping a hand over his glistening face.
Wade stood beside him and set a hand on his shoulder. “How are you otherwise?”
“Beat to shit, man.” He focused on Wade, scanned his body quickly before meeting his gaze once more. “You get him?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Hope the fucker burns in hell.”
That made two of them.
Schafer looked down at his bandaged legs where the blood had seeped through. “Ah, fuck. Guess I won’t be taking Penny dancing when I get home.”
“Not for a while,” Wade agreed. “Anything I can get you?”
“Yeah, a phone. I was talking to Pen when the bomb went off. She’s gotta be freaking out.”
“I’ll call her for you. Anything else?”
Schafer nodded, reached up a hand to wrap his fingers around Wade’s wrist. He squeezed tight. “Your girl’s fucking amazing, man. She held her shit together through all that, crawled her way to me through all that mess and banged out Morse code with some rebar to get the rescue crew’s attention.” Admiration glowed in his eyes as he shook his head. “Tell her I owe her.”
Wade’s throat tightened at the thought of her doing all of that while trapped in the darkness. It had to have been hell on her, reliving that old terror. “Tell her yourself later. She’s on the operating table right now getting the orthopedic surgeon warmed up for you.” He patted Schafer’s shoulder and the other man released his wrist. “Gimme your number and I’ll go call Penny. I’ll check on you later.”
After making the call and assuring Schafer’s wife that he was going to be okay, over an hour passed before someone came out to tell him Erin was finally in recovery. He insisted she be taken up to a room to recover and after some arguing, he got his way. They put her in a semi-private room they’d equipped with plastic barriers to prevent further radioactive contamination. When she opened her eyes, he was right beside her.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He smoothed the dark tangle of hair back from her forehead, struggling against the urge to cry as he gazed down into those beautiful green eyes. “Doin’ okay?”
She swept her tongue across her lips and glanced down at her casted arm, then around the room. Seeing the plastic visibly rattled her. “How bad was the exposure?” Her voice was raspy from the intubation, but he heard the edge of fear
in it.
He pulled a chair over and lowered himself into it, took her right hand in his. “Minimal. The bomb was dirty, but more explosives than radioactive material, and the prevailing winds carried most of what was released out to sea within a few minutes. Being underground when it happened protected you from the worst of the blast wave and the radiation. Your levels measured at point eight grays, so you’re good.”
The furrow between her eyebrows told him she wasn’t convinced. “What about you?”
“My levels were even lower than yours.”
She seemed to sag in relief at that, her eyes closing as she pulled in a slow, shaky breath. Then her eyes snapped open in alarm and she swallowed hard, putting a hand to her stomach.
“You gonna be sick?” When she gave a jerky nod, Wade frantically looked around for something to use and grabbed a pressed cardboard tray from a shelf over her bed. He handed it to her and she latched on with both hands, her grip made awkward by the cast covering half her left one. Before he could do more than put a hand on her back to support her she starting retching. And retching. And retching, until there was nothing left to come up and she was dry heaving.
Finally she stopped and dragged in a gulp of air. He dumped the tray into the garbage and found a facecloth to dampen in the sink. He got some water for her to rinse her mouth with, wiped at her face as she trembled and gasped for breath.
Finally she relaxed and allowed him to help her back against the thin pillow. Her skin was pale and sweaty, her eyes wide and full of terror as she stared up at him. “What if it’s radiation sickness?”
Her fear cut through him like a white-hot blade. He slid a hand beneath her nape, squeezed gently as he held her gaze. “Even if it is, you’re still okay. Your levels were low. It’s been five hours since the bomb went off, so if the exposure had been severe the symptoms would have started a long time ago. The vomiting could be from the minimal dose you received, but it could be the anaesthetic and shock, too.”
She absorbed all that for a moment and nodded. “You’re right, and I know all of that, but…God. I can’t stop jumping to the worst possible conclusion.” She exhaled and seemed to sink back into the bed, clearly exhausted.
She’d also been through hell, and no one could blame her for fearing the worst. “You should sleep.”
Her eyes opened. She ran her gaze over him in a thorough way he recognized, paused when she noticed the bandages on his left forearm. She’d flipped straight into nurse mode. Tensing visibly, she sat up, her eyes full of worry as they flashed up to his. “Oh my God, I didn’t even ask—What happened? Did you find Rahim—”
He stopped her by laying a finger against her lips. “Yes.” He didn’t want to talk about it or think about it right now. All that mattered was her, and keeping her calm and safe through this.
She searched his eyes, kissed the pad of his finger before curling her hand around his and holding it to her chest as though she was afraid he might get up and leave. He had no intention of budging from her side until he knew for certain that she was going to be okay. “What’s that, then?” she asked, nodding at the bandage.
“Flesh wound. It’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Frowning as though she didn’t believe him, she met his gaze once more. “And Rahim?”
“Dead.”
She didn’t flinch at the blunt delivery but her eyes filled with sympathy. “Were you the one who…”
He nodded, dropped his eyes to their joined hands because he couldn’t bear to hold her gaze any longer. “It was…intense.” His emotions were a roiling mass in his chest. Guilt. Regret. Anger. Bitterness.
Shit, his throat was starting to tighten up again.
“I’m sorry, that must have been awful,” she said softly. “But I’m so glad you’re okay. Come here.”
Knowing she needed the comfort, he didn’t protest when she slid an arm around his shoulders and pulled him down so that his head rested against her shoulder. But then a strange thing happened. As he lay there, some of the tension melted away and he realized he’d needed this as much as she did. The steady thud of her heartbeat reassured him. She was alive and safe and that’s all he cared about. Except until now he hadn’t let himself think about what had transpired on that ship, the deadly struggle on that platform; he’d been too worried about Erin. Now everything flashed back to him like a movie on fast forward. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek harder into her, tears burning the backs of his eyes.
“I couldn’t get it out of him,” he whispered roughly. “I had him pinned underneath me and still couldn’t find out where the bomb or the target was.” And she’d paid for it, along with many others. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it.” He’d done his best but it hadn’t been enough. The guilt was already eating him alive.
“Hey.” She squeezed him once, then pressed a kiss to the top of his head before stroking her hand over his hair. “Wade, it wasn’t your fault. He planned all this, not you. You did everything you could to stop it, including risking your own life in a way I don’t even want to think about because it’ll give me nightmares for the next ten years. I’m just glad you’re safe.”
He let out a hard exhale, letting her words flow through him. She might not blame him, but he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself. He’d brought all this down on her. Twice today she’d nearly died. She’d suffered too much.
“They brought Schafer in while you were in surgery,” he said, knowing she’d be worried about him. Her soft heart was one of the things he loved about her most, and it also scared the shit out of him because it made her vulnerable. He wanted to protect her from everything and everyone.
Yeah, great job you did at that.
“That’s great news.”
Wade nodded and slapped away the derisive voice in his head. “I think he’ll be going into surgery soon to get his legs set. They were both busted up pretty bad. He told me what you did, said you were amazing and asked me to tell you he owes you.”
“He doesn’t owe me anything,” she grumbled in annoyance, still stroking his hair.
Wade hated to think of her trapped beneath all that rubble, scared and alone. “That must have been really hard for you down there.”
She swallowed audibly. “Yes. But I kept thinking of you, and I knew you’d come for me if you could.”
Meaning, if he lived through the op to bring down Rahim. Which he almost hadn’t. “When I heard the bomb went off at headquarters, I—” He paused to wrestle his emotions back under control before continuing, soaking up the tender way she held him. “I’ve never been that scared before in my life. Ever. Because I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“I felt exactly the same way, waiting for word about you. And after the explosion when I woke up in the darkness and was freaked out of my mind, thinking about you gave me hope.” Her voice caught on the last word.
Raising his head, Wade met her gaze, his heart squeezing when he saw the tears standing in her eyes. He brushed them from her lower lashes before they could fall. That they were both still alive after everything that had happened today was a fucking miracle. He didn’t intend to waste a moment more of it.
“I love you.”
Her expression softened and the tears spilled over, faster than he could catch them. She wrapped her arm around his back and buried her face in the side of his neck. “I love you too. And don’t you ever scare me like that again, running off to save the world by offering yourself up on a silver platter to the most dangerous terrorist on the planet.”
No, he wouldn’t be doing a repeat of that anytime soon. Once the dust settled he’d be in some intensive debriefings and meetings. Hell, he didn’t know what he’d be doing after this was finished, but he knew he wanted it to include Erin.
Smiling, thanking God that she was alive and in his arms, Wade hugged her tight. “Deal.” No matter what happened next, he knew he could never let her go.
Danger Close: Chapter Twenty-Four
Five days l
ater
Erin sank onto her parents’ leather couch in the family room and let out a tired sigh. It was only a little after nine but it felt like it was two in the morning. Considering she was still running on Eastern time, that wasn’t far off. The familiar, comforting sounds and smells of home surrounded her. She was finally where she’d wanted to spend her leave…except it didn’t feel right now that she was separated from Wade.
Her parents’ nine year old shepherd-lab mix, Hairy, hopped up on the couch and curled up on top of Erin’s feet. Idly she reached down to stroke the dog’s soft ears, earning a contented sigh from him in return. She’d always adored him but ever since she arrived home this time he’d seemed to pick up on her inner turmoil and stayed close, as though to comfort her.
“Sure you’re up to a movie?” her dad asked, ensconced in his favorite recliner across from her.
“Yes, just don’t be offended if I nod off partway through.” She liked having company around. The night before, all alone in her room in the guest cabin, she’d barely slept. It had been stupid to stay alone after what she’d gone through but she’d hoped the solitude would help her unwind. In reality, it had done just the opposite.
Her arm had bothered her despite the pain killers she’d taken, but it was the nightmares that were the worst. They were more like flashbacks than dreams, and so vivid they’d jerked her out of her fitful sleep a handful of times, leaving her heart pounding and her body soaked with sweat. Tonight she didn’t want to be alone and planned to camp out on the couch once her parents turned in.
Her mother came in from the kitchen with a bowl of fresh popcorn and a glass of iced tea. “Move over.” She nudged Hairy aside and curled up on the opposite side of the couch, her feet touching Erin’s.
Erin laid her head back against the buttery soft leather and tried to focus on the movie, but she was too tired to concentrate. The stress of the past few days had finally caught up with her and combined with the lack of sleep and uncertainty about her and Wade’s future, she knew she was crashing.
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