by Weldon, Fay
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Contents
Cover
Welcome Page
01 – Darcy’s Utopia
Cover
Welcome Page
Eleanor Darcy is interviewed by Hugo Vansitart
Valerie Jones is surprised by Joy
From Valerie Jones’ first interview with Eleanor Darcy
Valerie gets one or two things wrong
Eleanor Darcy’s birth
Valerie stops work to listen to Hugo’s tape
Apricot loses one mother and gains another
Valerie leaps to conclusions
Valerie Jones returns to ask further questions of Eleanor Darcy
Valerie and Lou manage a conversation
Apricot Smith marries Bernard Parkin
Eleanor Darcy speaks to Hugo, and Valerie listens
Valerie suffers from emotion
Bernard and Ellen’s Catholic months
Valerie’s garden interview with Eleanor Darcy
Valerie ventures out of the Holiday Inn
Ellen’s Marxist years with Bernard
Valerie receives a letter from Eleanor Darcy
Ellen’s Marxist life with Bernard comes to an end
Hugo’s restaurant interview with Eleanor Darcy
Valerie meets her lover’s wife
Bernard’s encounters with Nerina
Hugo’s further interview with Eleanor Darcy
Valerie is shocked
Brenda finds Ellen in a state of enchantment
A taped telephone interview between Valerie and Eleanor
Valerie misses home
Bernard and Ellen part
Transcript of a Hugo/Eleanor tape
Eleanor entertains
Valerie sits up in bed and listens to tape
Brenda’s letter to Hugo
Julian overdoes it
Valerie speaks to Belinda
Eleanor goes to visit Jed and Prune
Valerie laughs thrice
A disturbance in the economy
Lou comes to the Holiday Inn
Hugo and Eleanor walk down to the end of the garden
Valerie observes the birth of a new religion
Copyright
02 – Down Among the Women
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1: Wanda, Scarlet and Byzantia
Chapter 2: Ask Your Father
Chapter 3: A Certain Sunday
Chapter 4: Scarlet is Brought to Bed
Chapter 5: Susan is Selfish
Chapter 6: Problems and Solutions
Chapter 7: Scarlet Shows Off
Chapter 8: Scarlet Goes to Market
Chapter 9: On The Move
Chapter 10: Sorting Out
Chapter 11: Crucifixions
Chapter 12: Nice People
Chapter 13: Solutions
Chapter 14: Down Among The Women
Down Among the Women
Copyright
03 – Female Friends
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Copyright
04 – Growing Rich
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Copyright
05 – Leader of the Band
Cover
Welcome Page
Epigraph
Chapter 1: Travelling South
Chapter 2: Details
Chapter 3: So Let Us Begin With – A Burst of Radioactivity
Chapter 4: Breakfast at the Hôtel de Ville
Chapter 5: Mother’s Got a Headache
Chapter 6: A Telephone Call
Chapter 7: Trying to Get Through
Chapter 8: Bringing to Life
Chapter 9: Scene in a Car Park
Chapter 10: A Summons from Afar
Chapter 11: Return of the Citronellas
Chapter 12: So, Starlady Sandra
Chapter 13: Breakfast Time
Chapter 14: Under the War Memorial
Chapter 15: Lying in the Shade
Chapter 16: Truth Being Stranger Than Fiction
Chapter 17: Chew You Up and Spit You Out
Chapter 18: Tell Me About Your Wife
Chapter 19: Where Will We Live?
Chapter 20: The Unclassed
Chapter 21: How’s Your Pains?
Chapter 22: A Certain Rhythm
Chapter 23: Highs and Lows
Chapter 24: A Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight
Appendices
I: Alison’s Story: A Libation of Blood
II: Jennifer’s Story: Come On, Everyone!
III: Jude’s Story: GUP – or Falling in Love in Helsinki
Copyright
06 – Life Force
Cover
Welcome Page
Dedication
Marion
Nora
Marion
Nora
Marion
Nora
Marion
Nora
Marion
Nora
Copyright
07 – Little Sisters
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Copyright
08 – Moon Over Minneapolis
Cover
Welcome Page
Stories of Working Life
Subject to Diary
I Do What I Can and I Am What I Am
The Year of the Green Pudding
Four Tales from Abroad
Ind Aff
A Visit from Johannesburg
Au Pair
How I Am is How You Are
Tales of the New Age
Down the Clinical Disco
Pumpkin Pie
Sharon Loves Darren
Stories for Christmas
Who Goes Where?
The Search for Mother Christmas
Three Tales of Country Life
A Move to the Country
Chew You Up and Spit You Out
The Day the World Came to Somerset
As Told to Miss Jacobs
A Gentle Tonic Effect
Moon Over Minneapolis
Un Crime Maternel
A Pattern of Cats
Copyright
09 – Polaris
Cover
Welcome Page
Polaris
Delights of France or Horrors of the Road
The Sad Life of the Rich
Christmas Lists – A Seasonal Story
And Then Turn Out the Light
The Bottom Line and the Sharp End
In the Great War
Birthday!
The School Run
Who?
Oh Mary Don’t You Cry Any More
Redundant! or The Wife’s Revenge
Acknowledgements
Copyright
10 – Praxis
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Copyright
11 – Splitting
Cover
Welcome Page
Dedication
Part 1: A Perforated House
Chapter 1: Edwin’s Divorce Petition
Chapter 2: The Velcro That Is Marriage
Chapter 3: Lady Rice’s Sea Of Sorrow
Chapter 4: Initial Transformations
Chapter 5: Office Business
Chapter 6: Angel Is Born
Chapter 7: History
Chapter 8: Anthea In The Linen Room
Chapter 9: Jelly At Work
Chapter 10: Post Coital
Chapter 11: Alimony As Justice
Chapter 12: The Perforated Personality
Chapter 13: Breaking Out
Chapter 14: Angel’s Outing
Part 2: An Attempt At Diversion
Chapter 1: Family Attack
Chapter 2: The Wicked And The Good
Chapter 3: Tully Toffener And His Powers
Chapter 4: Welcome To Our Wonderful World
Chapter 5: No Grand-Daughter Of Mine
Chapter 6: Trouble Brewing
Chapter 7: Closer To Congo
Chapter 8: At Livermore Gate
Chapter 9: Sara Attempts To Visit Her Grandmother
Chapter 10: Scenes From Wendy’s Life
Chapter 11: A Property Worth Having
Chapter 12: Edwin’s Offer
Chapter 13: Lady Rice On Her Alter Egos
Chapter 14: A Curse From The Past
Chapter 15: An Unbelievable Narrator
Chapter 16: Ajax Is Born
Part 3: Ajax’s Aga Saga
Chapter 1: Angelica First Brings Edwin Home
Chapter 2: How They Told Edwin’s Father
Chapter 3: The Wedding
Chapter 4: Lady Rice, One Year Into Her Marriage
Chapter 5: Lady Rice, Three Years Into Her Marriage
Chapter 6: Lady Rice, Eight Years Into Her Marriage
Chapter 7: Trouble In The Group
Chapter 8: More
Chapter 9: Dinner Party
Chapter 10: Morituri Te Salutant
Part 4: Houses Disinhabited
Chapter 1: Tensions
Chapter 2: A Gust Of Chilly Wind
Chapter 3: A Mother Returns
Chapter 4: A Sniff Of Skin
Chapter 5: Official Business
Chapter 6: Angel Goes Home
Chapter 7: A Short Visit To Mrs White
Chapter 8: Dilapidation
Chapter 9: Renovation
Chapter 10: Perforation
Part 5: Una’s Happy Boys And Girls
Chapter 1: A Menu Of Permutations
Chapter 2: Touting Talent
Chapter 3: Restoration
Chapter 4: Unification
Chapter 5: A House Revealed
Acknowledgement
Copyright
12 – The Cloning of Joanna May
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Copyright
13 – The Heart of the Country
Cover
Welcome Page
The Wages of Sin
The Pleasures of Adultery
Dinner
Dinner Time
Chomp, Chomp, Grittle-Grax, Gone!
Facing the Day
By Accident on Purpose
Cough, Cough, Wheeze, Gasp
Love Your Enemy
Justifications
Living Rough
Bargains
Redemption
Improvement
Attempts at Seduction
Doing it all Wrong
Washing Away the Stains
Shock
Interlude
Second Home
Driven Mad
Cough, Cough, Cough Again
Traumas
Bright and Purposeful
Bargains
Gratitude-Schmatitude
Submission
Seduction
Hi, Dad!
Interims
Praxis
Human Sacrifice
Resolutions
Copyright
14 – The Rules of Life
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Copyright
15 – The Shrapnel Academy
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Copyright
16 – Wicked Women
Cover
Welcome Page
Tales of Wicked Women
End of the Line
Run and Ask Daddy If He Has Any More Money
In the Great War (II)
Tales of Wicked Men
Wasted Lives
Love Amongst the Artists
Leda and the Swan
Tales of Wicked Children
Tale of Timothy Bagshott
Valediction
From the Other Side
Through a Dustbin, Darkly
A Good Sound Marriage
Of Love, Pain and Good Cheer
Pains
A Question of Timing
Red on Black
Going to the Therapist
Santa Claus’s New Clothes
Baked Alaska
The Pardoner
Bibliographical Note
Copyright
17 – Worst Fears
Cover
Welcome Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Copyright
About this Omnibus
Also by Fay Weldon
