“Yeah, he made me look good,” Grandpa acknowledged. “Didn’t see you complain how good he made you look to Jacquelyn by standing up for her best friend to your older brother.”
“Brother?” I shot up. “Jay was your brother?”
“I’m afraid so,” Varick said with much regret. “Jay, as you call him, was always an unstable young man with some very unusual abilities. Abilities that many in my family thought would be a great asset. I believed then he was too dangerous. There were rumors, but back then people were more… discreet,” Varick said. “Still, people talked. He had gotten rough with a girl that rejected him. I’m afraid my brother never took rejection very well. Jay could be very charming, at first.”
“I know,” I said, which earned a lethal stare from Payne. “What? He was charming. He wanted me to run away with him.”
“What!” Uncle Mark said. He stared at me like I had just told them I was the Queen of England.
“I know,” Payne added, shaking his head in frustration.
“Take a pill, both of you,” I told them. “It’s not like I went. I mean, it was sweet…”
“Sweet?” Payne said. “He tried to kill you.”
“Well.” I shrugged. “This was before. It was like up until you and I, he was a different guy. He just wanted to, you know…”
“Keep you to himself?” Uncle Mark said. “Sounds like classic abuser to me.”
“Thank you,” Payne said.
“You’re such a girl,” Grandpa remarked. “Some pretty boy flashes his baby blues and says something flattering, and you think they’re deep and wonderful, and you flounce after them.”
“Hey,” I protested. “I didn’t flounce. I don’t flounce. I don’t even know how to flounce.”
“I think,” Uncle Mark interrupted, “that we’re getting a little off topic here. So, we’ve identified the ghost in question as being a McKnight and Varick’s brother. We all know there are members of both families that could become violent. The fact that he is a McKnight shouldn’t have any impact.” Uncle Mark aimed that last remark toward Grandpa.
“Maybe my son here,” Grandpa retorted, “would like to take a few moments to join hands and sing Kumbaya.”
“Dad,” Uncle Mark warned.
“What?” Grandpa continued. “Can’t we all just get along?”
I snorted. It may have taken some time, but I think I was finally getting my grandfather’s sense of humor.
“The question is,” Uncle Mark continued. “How does this help stop him? We’re still talking about trying to kill a dead guy, aren’t we?”
Grandpa looked at Varick and sent him the same look that seemed to have been going back and forth between them since we got here. “You want to tell them, or should I?” Grandpa asked.
Varick stood. “Perhaps it would be better if I showed them. Please follow me.”
We all got up to follow. My uncle had to help Grandpa stand. His limp had become far more pronounced since last night. I had to believe it was the cost for healing both Zack and Payne, things that I was eternally grateful for. Grandpa hadn’t complained once.
Varick led us down a hall, one that I hadn’t seen on my first visit. We came to an elevator. I felt apprehensive about getting in, considering what happened the last time I was in a McKnight elevator, but I knew it was important, so I held my breath and got in.
“How are Toby and Blasé?” I asked, trying to keep my mind off the confined space. I had never been claustrophobic before. Amazing what nearly being killed in an elevator will do.
“Both are recovering, thank you,” Varick said.
The elevator door opened, so I popped out quickly.
Varick took the lead and motioned us down the hall. We found a nurse standing outside a door. Varick asked us to wait for a moment as he talked with her. We watched as Varick went over and exchange a few words, which made the nurse very weepy. The nurse nodded and left.
Varick opened the door and signaled for us to all go in. We did so with me being the last one in. Inside, we found a very old and fragile looking man in a hospital bed attached to tubes and monitors. The tube going down his throat was clearly breathing for him. Others were giving him fluids. I could see a resemblance between him and Varick, but the old man had none of the dignity or strength of presence. This man looked like he might be Varick’s grandfather. Why were we here? I felt like I was missing something that was right in front of my face.
“Everyone,” Varick said. “This is my brother, Jasper. He has been like this since he was seventeen years old. It was a family decision to keep him alive. We always thought a recovery was possible. Now, I can tell you that’s never going to happen.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” Grandpa added.
“Dad,” Uncle Mark said.
“Your father is eager for his ounce of flesh,” Varick said. “As am I. Allow me to get to the point. My brother Jasper never liked his name. He’d insist everyone call him Jay.”
“What?” I yelled. I looked at the wrinkly, old man, lying in the bed, and shuddered. “Are you telling me that this is Jay? My Jay? But he was cute! He was adorable. He was…young.”
Payne stepped forward, anger in his eyes. He was stopped short by my uncle. “Don’t, son. I know you want to. I want to. But don’t.”
Payne just stared at the old man on the bed. “Ever since I realized he was behind this, I’ve been wishing he were alive so I could kill him.”
“Payne,” Varick said. “I doubt very much that he would feel anything you did to him right now.”
Payne sneered. “I’d like to try anyway.”
“I understand,” Varick said. “Jasper always had the ability to project himself. He could send himself out into the world without his body and see what others were doing. He always described it as being ghost-like. It would seem that was far more accurate than I ever expected.”
“So Jay,” I said, “has been alive and projecting himself into my life where only I could see him? And all this time he was here? Like this? Ew!”
I stared at him with disgust. I had been attracted to him, and he spent the night with me in my room. I knew that nothing happened, but still. I let myself be comforted by a man who made Grandpa look young and hip.
“So now what?” Payne asked. “What do we do?”
Varick moved back to his brother’s bedside. Putting his hand on one of the machines that was whirling away, he looked right at me.
“Now we finish it,” Varick said. “The doctors have told me for the last twenty years that it was time to take him off life support, to let him go. This morning, I handled the legal issues. It was odd, being told by both the doctors and my attorney that it was an act of kindness and love toward my brother.” He looked down at the old man in the bed with disdain. “Little did they know, eh?”
We all stood there and stared at the frail old man. No one spoke a word. Was this murder? It happened all the time, but we knew Jay’s mind was still out there, somewhere. Was it self-defense? If someone came at you with a gun, no one expected you not to shoot back to save yourself. But when the person’s lying there, helpless in front of you—what then?
But Jay, or Jasper, or whatever his name was, he wasn’t helpless. He would come after me and my family. I closed my eyes and saw Zack falling from that tree. I saw Payne impale himself on that wooden stake in the middle of that blaze. I opened my eyes, and I was ready.
“Now,” Varick said, “I will do what needs to be done.”
I moved over next to Payne and took his hand. I wondered if there was any chance that we could be wrong. Then I got my answer.
“Wait,” I said. “He’s here.”
“Where?” Payne asked.
I pointed to the corner of the room where Jay stood, naked fear painted on his face. “Don’t do this,” Jay said. “Please, Bristol. I beg of you. I’m not ready.”
I turned to Payne. “He’s begging us not to. He’s scared.”
Payne glanced in the direction where Jay stood.
“Good.”
“Bristol, please,” Jay said. “I know I did things that I shouldn’t have done, but being alone for so long can drive you insane.”
I shook my head. “I saw you chase my grandmother from that car. I saw you there, laughing when you killed her. You killed Payne’s grandmother as well, didn’t you? Being alone didn’t make you insane. You were insane to begin with.”
“Bristol,” Jay kept begging. “It wasn’t my fault, the shadows…they made me. They’re real.”
“I know they are,” I said. “But you chose to listen to them. Just like Weeder did. He knew killing a little boy was wrong, but he did it. You knew what you were doing, and you enjoyed it.”
“I saved you from Weeder!” Jay said. “In the end, when he shot himself—I made him do that!”
It might have been true, but it didn’t matter. “You hurt people I love. I can’t forgive that."
“Varick likes you,” Jay announced, changing tactics. “He’ll listen to you. Have him spare me. I could tell you things, things about him and the whole McKnight clan. You’ll give your family a great advantage when the final battle begins. It will begin. There can be no peace between the two families. While there are two families, both will know anguish and despair. I can be your weapon!” Jay smiled, convinced he had found my weak point.
“I can help you protect your family,” he continued. “You’d never forgive yourself if a McKnight were to kill little Zack. He adores you, you know. I could see it in his mind. Let me help you protect him.”
I looked to Varick, who was waiting on word from me to continue. “Mr. McKnight,” I said and watched how hopeful Jay’s face grew. “He just offered to sell your family out if I try and convince you to spare him. He’ll tell me all of your secrets.” I glanced over to Grandpa, wondering what his reaction would be.
“That should tell you something right there,” Grandpa said. “Finish it, Varick. For our ladies.”
Varick nodded. “They were the best of us, weren’t they? And Jasper was behind their deaths and the deaths of our unborn children.”
Jay looked at Varick with hatred. “Yes, I hated them! I hate you.”
I shook my head in disgust. “He just admitted being behind their deaths. It’s time. I don’t want him to hurt anyone again. Not from either of our families.”
“You think you’re going to end up with Payne?” Jay yelled. “You won’t. A McKnight can never love a Blackburn! Will never trust a Blackburn. He will turn on you.”
I ignored him. Varick put his finger on the switch. Jay looked panicked, but he had nothing else to say and no venom left to spew. Varick flipped the switch, and all the machines went silent.
“No!” Jay got up and charged at me. He made it two steps. Then he was gone. I never flinched.
After it was over, I walked to Varick. I could tell he was mourning the death of his wife all over again. I leaned in and gave him a hug.
Payne pulled me out of that room. Jay didn’t deserve anymore of my time.
Chapter Eighteen
Five Minutes
Journal of Bristol Blackburn
Saturday, May 4th
It’s been a week since the death of Jay, or Jasper McKnight, or whatever I’m supposed to call him. I wondered if he might return to me in actual ghost form, but he hasn’t. I hope he never does. I wondered if I might feel guilty about how Varick took him off life support, but I don’t. Not after everything he’d done to me and my family.
I wonder how many other lives he destroyed that I didn’t know about. Could he have been behind what had happened to Aunt Eve?
I don’t know, and I don’t want to think about it now.
Today is Saturday. Payne will be by later. We promised to take Simon and Zack to a movie with us. I invited Hunter and Maggie. After all, I don’t want to be outnumbered by the boys.
It seems so strange to me, waking up and not having to wonder if that nameless Dream Boy is really going to murder me. I think a part of me always believed it was more likely that whoever he was, he’d want me dead and gone. Instead, Payne clearly wants me by his side for life.
He said those words to me. I love you. He meant them.
And I think I know how I feel about him, but I just can’t get myself to say it.
But now that I know I have a future, I can start to try and picture it with Payne.
* * * *
I heard a knock at my door and called for whomever to come in. A moment later, Grandpa made his way in and plopped down on my bed.
“Did I interrupt anything?” he asked as he put his foot up.
“Nope,” I said.
“I didn’t sit on a ghost, did I?” Grandpa asked. “Or are they standing in the corner?”
I fought the urge to laugh and instead rolled my eyes. “No, we’re alone. Just you, me, and Ricky.”
Grandpa glanced toward Ricky’s tank. Ricky stopped running on his wheel and ran into his soup can.
“You’ve been through a lot lately, kid,” Grandpa said. “I know it’s been hard. That’s not an invitation to whine. Life’s rough. But you’ve handled yourself okay, so far.”
“Grandpa,” I said while faking a sniffle. “That’s so sweet.”
“You’re a bratty one, too,” Grandpa said. “I admire that, but being a pain in the keister will only get you so far. Trust me, I know. If something happens, you need to know to come to me. I can help. I mean, not with girlie things or anything like that, you know.”
“Right,” I said. “Just the manly, macho things.”
“Look, I’m going to be straight with you,” Grandpa said. “That McKnight boy…”
“Payne,” I said.
“I know,” Grandpa responded. “Look, Payne impressed me. He came to me about you when you were in trouble. He put you first. I admire what he did, but that don’t mean the two of you are destined to live happily ever after.”
“Grandpa,” I said. “We’re not going out to shop for rings.” I thought about Payne saying the L-word and felt a sense of panic. “I mean, he hasn’t said anything to you or Uncle Mark, has he?”
“Kinda old-fashioned,” Grandpa said. “Asking for your hand first.”
I stopped breathing for a good ten seconds before Grandpa started to laugh.
“Relax,” he said. “Payne hasn’t asked for your hand or any other part of you. Nice to know where you stand.”
“Funny, real funny.”
“I thought so,” Grandpa agreed. “What I was trying to say before you went down the path of wedded paranoia was that we’re all cursed. McKnights and Blackburns. As long as both families exist, neither will find peace. You and Payne aren’t the first since Tristan and Annabelle to get together. You won’t be the last. I just thought you should know that.”
“Thanks.”
“But,” Grandpa added. “I can guess you’re not going to listen. You’re a teenage girl. Listening to what’s best for you is medically impossible.”
“Grandpa,” I said. “You can be so sweet.”
“I know, now shut up and let me finish,” Grandpa responded. “You also remind me of your grandmother. Now she was a wonderful woman. More than I deserved. More than any man deserved. I’m sorry that you never got a chance to meet her. You would have liked her, and she would have gotten a hoot out of you.”
Incredibly touched, I moved over to the bed next to Grandpa and gave him a hug. After all this time, Grandma was still the only woman for him.
“You know,” I said, “except in my dreams, I’ve never seen Grandma. I don’t know a thing about her.”
Grandpa smiled and reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Flipping it open, he pulled out his wedding picture. Grandpa looked like an old fashioned version of my father. Grandma looked like a more beautiful version of me. She positively glowed, even in the non-color picture.
Grandpa started to tell me about my grandmother. I was amazed by the love and affection in his voice as he told me story after story of someone who wa
s clearly an amazing woman. My grandfather, who was in his late sixties, sounded like he was my age again. I laughed, I cried, and I was completely moved by the image of the woman he described. She was funny, smart, and didn’t take any nonsense from anyone. Together, they had four sons. It would have been five had Jay not killed her.
But Grandpa didn’t focus on the bad times. He recalled stories where Grandma had gone camping with a family of men. She had proved herself the most able to handle Mother Nature. Grandpa told me about her giving birth to each of their sons. While he was a wreck, Grandma was calm, in control, and thrilled to be bringing life into this world.
When we were done, I felt like I knew Jeanette Blackburn enough to describe her to anyone I met. She was amazing, kind, and was woman enough to love Grandpa, who told me that no matter how he was feeling, “Five minutes of talking with my Jeanette was enough to set my head on straight again.”
I thought about her as I took a walk later. I decided I needed a moment alone before Payne arrived. I wanted to mourn for a woman I’d never met, who clearly was a part of me.
“Hello Bristol,” the ghost of Grandma Jeanette said to me. “I’ve been waiting for a chance to meet you.”
Standing under the tree in the backyard, she looked so much like me, only so much more beautiful. She was in a blue dress, and her hair was longer than mine, with a matching blue headband.
I couldn’t believe she was here for me.
“Hi Grandma,” I said. “I so wish I could hug you right now. I feel like I know you after everything Grandpa just told me about you.”
“I do know you,” Grandma said. “Just because I haven’t appeared to you until now doesn’t mean I haven’t been with you. There’s always a part of me with you. You should know that.”
I shrugged. “It’s not the same as you being here. I wish I had met you for real. I wish you were a part of my life.”
“I am,” Grandma said. “More so than most people understand. So don’t get whiney. After all, we don’t have a lot of time.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Five minutes?”
Vision of Shadows Page 29
