But he did not come closer. “You have found your freedom. It is what you have always wanted. I am proud of you. You were brave enough to make a run for it. You have a plan, then? What will you do to sustain your new life?”
The warmth within her body dissipated as she thought of Valencio. Walking away from Donovan and into Valencio’s life felt like walking away from the warmth of a Burchessian summer and into an artic blizzard. She knew she could not tell Donovan of her plans, as faking an engagement to a sailor hardly seemed something to be proud of. “I do not know exactly what I will do; all I know is that I will not be going home to Burchess.”
Donovan smiled his largest smile, so much so that his eyes became small, happy half-moons. “I am happy for you,” he said. But then his smile fell as he looked on her. “Are you not happy?” he asked.
She knew she had not smiled: how could she? Even if she was walking away from the coldblooded brutality of Burchess, she was not walking into happiness either. “I am,” she lied. “It will just take some time getting used to not being a princess.”
That was not what she had wanted to say. She was not having a difficult time with the thought of no longer being pampered and having finery at her fingertips. She felt vain for saying as much. “Not that I need the title or the elegance …”
“I know, Illianah,” he said, his voice light with laughter. “You have spent the last six months in Deltegra, after all.”
This time she did smile, although only slightly. True, living at the castle of Andoradda had been quite a step down from Burchess, yet she would rather still be there than living as a pauper in Vieve.
Illianah did not want to speak about her future any longer, as it seemed so bleak. “Tell me about your negotiations with King Reginald,” she said. “Has he pledged support?”
Donovan’s face fell. “No. Not yet.”
“Why not? The people here seem to understand your plight.”
“Understanding and supporting are two entirely different things.” Donovan sighed and stepped away from the oak tree. Illianah regretted changing the subject, as it took him away from her. He resumed his pacing, although it was not as frantic this time. “King Reginald agrees that Burchess must be stopped from their tyranny against Deltegra. But he does not think that we would be victorious, even with the assistance of his troops.”
“But that would double your forces.”
“Yes. But the … fierceness with which Prince Harrington leads his troops is unfounded. If you knew of what he did at the village of Cordana …” Donovan looked as if he might be sick from the mere mention of Cordana.
Illianah fixed her eyes on the ground. If Leif had been brutal enough to engulf Deltegra’s troops in fire, she could only imagine what happened once Cordana fell. “The women and children?” she hesitantly asked.
When she looked at Donovan, he was staring off into the distance, as if meeting her eyes would mean he would have to acknowledge what had happened. “Were they … burned to death?” she whispered.
“No,” he answered. Even though his voice was quiet, she could still hear the pain within his heart. “For most, the fire came … after.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he tried to swallow the knowledge of what had happened to his people. “My father is quite beside himself,” he said. “He has again taken to his bed.”
Her chest hurt thinking of the king lying in his bed, fevered and gasping for air once again. She knew his body was not strong enough to take another round of such overwhelming grief.
“Parts of the castle of Cordana did burn while under siege. But then his troops entered the village and began to plunder, taking no thoughts of the innocent blood they shed. Then the remainder of the castle and village were burned to cover their monstrosities. But of course, they forced one man to witness their savage crimes and then allowed him to escape and bring us a warning of what will happen next. Prince Harrington’s troops went to Peroso instead of Laencia, where the battle to capture that town is as fierce as it was in Cordana. We had suspected—had hoped—they would try to capture both Peroso and Tabo at the same time, but they have kept their forces united and are giving Peroso quite the attack. They will conquer within days and then they will turn to Tabo. Without our two key mills, we will be crippled in our ability to prosper our people. We will be as good as ruined without them even capturing the capital.”
“I cannot believe King Reginald will not help. Does he wish to have Burchess pushing upon his entire northern border? His kingdom will never be at ease again.”
“Exactly. If we cannot conquer Burchess within Deltegra and push them back into their own border, King Reginald knows that he will not be forgiven for assisting us. King Gregory will declare war on Vieve as well, and it is more than likely that Liksland will join in. While King Reginald does not want to see Deltegra annihilated, he does see that our demise is inevitable and he cannot get caught on the wrong side. He must protect his own kingdom.”
Illianah sank into the tree with such desperation that she could feel the rough bark scratching against her back. King Reginald had already given up on Deltegra. He would cower to her father, knowing that Burchess possessed the ability to crush and conquer any kingdom at will. That was wrong. Her father needed to be stopped.
“Perhaps King Reginald would listen to me. Perhaps I could tell him how my father started this war. If King Reginald knew …”
“He does know, Illianah,” Donovan interrupted. “I told him everything. He believes my word. He does not need the word of another witness. Unless … unless you have other evidence. Another confirmation of King Gregory’s or Prince Harrington’s wiliness?”
Her stomach felt as if she had just digested bark from that oak tree. In fact, she felt as if her entire body was turning into the tree and the mighty roots were forcing her into the ground. She did not know that she would ever be able to walk freely again. “No,” she whispered. She had nothing. She had lived an entire life in ignorance to her father’s crimes. Her life had revolved entirely around herself. Was her gown the finest in all of Burchess and would it even rival those in the courts of Arugua? Was she the loveliest in the land? Would Duke Harrington be as smitten by her as the other princes had been? Had she batted her eyes enough, were her cheeks substantially rosy, had her hair been brushed enough to make it look like silk? The thoughts sickened her. How could she have been so hopelessly selfish to not take notice of what was happening within her own country? How could she not have cared that her people were filling her father’s prisons because they could not afford his outrageous taxes? “The only proof I have is from … you,” she realized. Everything she believed about Burchess was given to her by her enemy—her husband’s rival. And yet she had swallowed everything Donovan had told her just like the starving runt he had put in her care.
But there was no doubt within her mind. Donovan would not lie to her. He would not deceive her—but her testimony of Donovan was not enough to take to King Reginald.
“If you go to King Reginald, he would not be enticed to put thousands of his soldiers—and then his citizens—at risk. He would tell you the same thing he has told me: ‘I am sorry for your loss, but I cannot help.’ And then do you know what he would do next, Illianah? He would write to your father and tell him of your whereabouts. And more than that: I fear he would want to find favor with your father. It is likely that King Reginald would tell your father of your treachery. You would be sent to Burchess as a prisoner.”
Illianah hung her head. It was true. If she went to King Reginald, she would be putting herself at risk. But she had just scolded herself for being selfish and vain. Could she really just stand back and watch Donovan’s kingdom unravel without saying a word in its defense? “No, Donovan. King Reginald would listen to me. I know him well. He …”
“As do I. I have come to his court yearly, and he has come to mine. We are friends, but it is obvious that we are not allies.”
“There must be something I can do.”
Donovan stepped toward her again and put his hand upon her shoulder. “You come forward and you give up your freedom. That is something I will never ask you to do.”
“Even if it means the demise of your kingdom?”
His eyes looked as lifeless as the deer she had seen in the alley behind the inn—hung from its hind legs with its innards removed. He stared at her vacantly and then said, “It is not upon your shoulders, Illianah. It is upon mine.”
“You think it is hopeless then?” she asked, her voice cutting through the darkness like the angry sword of a man fighting against betrayal.
He blinked twice, as if she had awakened him from the darkness of his own mind. “No. ’Tis never hopeless. Only difficult.” He tried to smile slightly, but it did not look as if he found courage in his own words.
She should have said something to reassure him, but she could not. She could only think of the inevitable. “What will happen if Prince Harrington conquers both mills?”
“He will march to Andoradda, but he will not quickly gain victory there. You know the design of the castle: it was meant to be unbreechable. We will have enough forces to protect the castle—but to what end? We are not a kingdom without our mills and trees. It is likely that Burchess will surround Andoradda and starve us out. We will not make it through the winter before we either surrender or starve to death. By spring, Deltegra will be absorbed by Burchess and Prince Harrington will sit upon my father’s throne.”
“I thought you said it is not hopeless.” She tried to smile and encourage Donovan, but it did seem so bleak.
The right corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “I do have one more chance to try and convince King Reginald to give us aid before I leave tomorrow. Perhaps he will have a change of heart. I do believe that the people of Deltegra are worthy of a miracle. I must have faith that we will be found favorable in the eyes of God.”
He looked so broken—like his soul was crumbling before her eyes. She reached out for him, putting her hand at the side of his face. He flinched as if he had been shocked by her touch, but then his shoulders relaxed and he seemed to melt into her hand. His eyes closed as her fingers made their way through his hair.
“Run away with me,” she said, her heart again forming words without allowing them to first enter her mind. “We could be free … together.”
Donovan leaned into her. She could feel the weight of his chest on hers. His hand reached for her face.
The night was completely still. It was as if there was not another living, breathing thing within a hundred miles. It was just her and her beloved Donovan.
She could feel his breath upon her lips. She longed to feel his lips upon hers, so badly that it began to hurt. It was as if she was turning inside out, leaving the insides of her body exposed to the open air.
His eyes were sorrowful—not blissful as she had hoped they would be. He did not move his head the final inch needed so his lips could meet hers.
“Illianah,” he whispered. “You have bewitched me many times in my life, but never before have I felt so completely under your spell that I have no control over my own heart. I am amazed then, that I am able to say this: but I cannot.”
Now it felt worse than having her insides just exposed to air: it felt as if her raw and inverted body was being scraped by thorns and barren branches. Her entire body prickled with the pain of rejection, and she wanted to fall even further into that tree—away from Donovan and this humiliation.
She knew her cheeks were red with embarrassment, but she tried to feign composure. “I am sorry. I should not have asked. I know you will not abandon your kingdom.” Her voice sounded bitter, making her apology sound insincere.
He stiffened, as if her words had just cut him. “More than that,” he said, his voice sounding weak, “Prince Harrington is not a fool, Illianah. If I disappear just one week after you went missing, he would know that we are together. He would not rest until we were found and brought to justice for bringing such shame to our countries. We would have no chance—no chance at all—of escaping. Any country where we would try to find refuge would suddenly find themselves at war with Burchess and Liksland. We could not do that to innocent people. And there is nowhere we could travel to that would put us out of the reaches of your father—not when he has the most powerful navy in the entire world.”
“But we would have time,” she said. Tears began to fall from her eyes as if they were jumping from her tarnished mind as quickly as possible. “We would be together for weeks, possibly months, before they caught us. Would that not be worth it? I would give anything for even one day, Donovan.”
Again, he wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. “It is not enough for me. And I will not sentence you to your death.”
Even though he had tried to take away her tears, hundreds of new tears were ready to take their place. “One day!” she cried. “You will not even give me that! You give me nothing.”
Her voice was a reflection of the anger she felt for this injustice, but instantly, she regretted her words. She could see the pain she had inflicted upon him. “I know,” he whispered. “But it cannot be. No matter how we wish for it, we cannot make the stars realign.”
He brushed another tear from her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Please forgive me, but I must go.”
Her heart began to dissolve within her body, much like soap within a bath. She knew it would never solidify again. He would not give her a day; nor would he give her another minute.
“A prince visiting from another kingdom cannot be out roaming the streets without being seen and his intentions questioned. I am sorry. Be safe, Illianah.”
He looked torn—as if part of him wanted to stay at her side. Yet, the other part of him looked as if he could not wait to turn and run.
Donovan stepped away from her and began to turn to leave, but then he turned back. “Do you have sufficient money for your needs?”
She actually heard the moan that came from her chest. She was nothing more than a beggar. He reached out and gave her a few gold farlings. “I am sorry, I do not have much with me.” He looked as if he had another thought. From the pocket of his tunic, he pulled out something else and handed it to her. The ruby. “Perhaps you can sell this. It should fetch a few hundred farlings.”
“I could never sell that. It belongs to the crown of Deltegra.”
“It is yours,” he said. “As is my heart.”
He stepped away from her and into the blackness of the night. She wanted to chase after him—to grab onto his cloak and to beg him not to leave. But she knew it was hopeless, just as he knew the war was.
Chapter Seventeen
Illianah wished she could explain that her tardiness was because she had overslept, but actually, she had not slept at all.
Valencio waited outside near his carriage and she could tell he was upset with her delay. He did not greet her, nor pay her a compliment on her appearance, but instead said, “We will now arrive in Bouron over a half-hour late: unless we make it up on the road. You better not complain if we go too fast.”
She hesitated before taking his offered hand as she stepped into the carriage. This was her last chance to refuse Valencio. If she accepted his hand now, she would be tied to this vile man for the rest of her life. Although she planned to betray him and run from him while he was at sea, she knew he would haunt her no matter where she went. But the money Donovan had given her was not enough. And selling the ruby was not an option. It would be like selling a piece of her soul. There was nothing else to remind her of him—nothing else that had once been in his hand. She could not make it through her life without a remnant of her only love.
“Thank you,” she said, accepting Valencio’s help into the carriage, and once he sat beside her, she said, “And thank you for the gown as well. It is lovely.”
He eyed her up and down—and not in a flattering manner. It was more the way a hungry coyote would look at a helpless rabbit. She regretted mentioning the dress.
> “Yes, you make it so,” he said.
At least he did not seem to notice that the gown was crumpled, as she had been wearing it all night. Nor did he seem to notice that her eyes were red and puffy, as she had been crying all night as well.
Their carriage left the city too quickly. Illianah had hoped that they would meander through the streets for some time—possibly even drive past the palace. Even more than just hoping to linger in the capital, she hoped for some sort of divine intervention. She hoped Donovan would come out into the streets, riding his big, black horse, and order Valencio’s carriage to halt. She hoped Donovan would rescue her from this dismal life she was about to begin, but how could he? He did not even know she was leaving the city. And at this very moment, he was likely talking with the king, making one final plea for the protection of the people of Deltegra. He would not choose to seek her out instead. How could he? He was a prince. The ruler of his people. He could not betray their trust and walk away from them.
Yet look what she had done: she had turned her back on her crown and she had asked him to do the same. She was despicable.
Illianah had not realized that she was crying—yet again—when Valencio said, “Do not be sad, My Lady; I will give you a good life.”
She did not dare confide in Valencio and tell him she worried she was making a grave mistake. After all, she had given him her word; and she had accepted the dress. Nor could she tell him she was grieving over her lost love. “With every step your horses take, I am moving farther and farther away from my life. That is something any woman would cry over, Monsieur Valencio. I am leaving everything behind.”
“I do not pretend to understand your past, Katherine. But I do know that your future is promising. Our future is promising. Perhaps when you are married to a knight of King Reginald’s court, you will be accepted back into your family with open arms. Money is able to thaw even the hardest of hearts.”
The Reign of Trees Page 21
