by R B Hilliard
“I just don’t know anymore, Joss. Nothing makes sense right now. This guy has made me lose all of my bearings.”
“Like how?”
“My life wasn’t great before but I was dealing with it. Now I just feel broken inside. I’ve never felt like this about anyone so I have nothing to compare it to.” I was frantically trying to wipe away the tears but they just kept coming.
“Sugar, it’s called love. I see it in both of you. You are totally in love with each other.”
“It hurts. Make it stop.” I wiped my tears on my pillow. Finally, I gave up and let them run down my face.
“You have to talk to him, Ellie. You need to hear what he has to say and decide whether you believe him or not.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Great!” She clapped her hands, jumped off the bed and opened the door. “The floor is all yours. Don’t make me regret this.”
My heart skipped a couple hundred beats when a tired looking Max entered into the room. He walked to the foot of the bed, picked up a chair and carried it over next to me. Then, he plopped himself down and stared at me.
Joss just totally played me.
“You were right,” were the first words out of his mouth.
“About?” I rasped.
“Baby,” he winced, hearing my ruined voice.
So, I was getting sweet Max this morning. I was okay with bossy Max, really did not care for harsh Max but I absolutely adored sweet Max. Stiffening my spine, I repeated, “What was I right about, Max?”
“The second Jennifer planted her nasty ass on my lap I should have made her kiss the deck.”
Oh God, he heard our conversation.
“But I didn’t and because of that I hurt you and am now sitting here asking you to let me explain. Instead, I should be lying next to you in that bed.”
I didn’t know how to respond to this.
He looked out the window as if gathering his thoughts. Looking back, he said, “I have had the best two months of my life with you and need you to know that I would never in a million years throw that away for something as cheap and meaningless as Jennifer.” Lowering his hand to mine, he twined our fingers together. “Hell, I wouldn’t throw this away for anything.”
“I know what I saw, Max.”
“You saw her making her move and me calmly explaining to her that hell would freeze over before she ever got me again.”
“Her lips were on you.”
“They weren’t until she saw you walk across the deck.”
Joss was right.
“I convinced myself that I needed to take things slow and give you time before blasting you with shit about my messed up family or my feelings. I’m thinking that was a mistake and that if I had told you what I was feeling, last night wouldn’t have happened. At least it wouldn’t have had such a shitty ending. I know it looked bad and I know that I would have done the same if the tables were turned. Hell, who am I kidding? I would have done much worse.” He tightened his hold on my hand, as if afraid that I would run away if he let go. I wondered if I should say something when he stood up. He leaned a knee on the side of the bed, picked me up and scooted me over so he could climb in.
Lying beside me with his head on my pillow, he reached up and wiped away my tears. “I love you,” he whispered. “I have never felt this way about anyone in my whole life. Before you, those words weren’t even in my vocabulary.”
“You do?” I had to ask because maybe I hadn’t heard him correctly.
“Beautiful girl, I love you so much that I spent the night in a fucking Magnolia tree waiting for the opportunity to crawl through your window.”
“You did not!” I both sobbed and a laughed at the same time.
“I did.”
“You love me?”
“Absolutely.”
“You really don’t want Jennifer?”
“Hell. No.”
“I was so hurt and mad and…hurt.”
“That is on me and, if it’s the last thing I do, I will make sure that you believe how sorry I am.”
“I love you too. I have for a long time,” I declared.
His brow wrinkled. “You’re not just saying that because I did, are you?”
I shook my head. “When I saw you with her, I felt as if something inside of me had broken.”
“I know baby.” He kissed my forehead. “I need you to believe in us and this”…he circled his fingers over the two of us… “I need to know that you trust in me and that you trust that I will never betray that. I will run into Jennifer again and I need you to believe that I want nothing to do with her.”
“I really don’t like her, Max,” I stressed.
“I get that,” he smiled.
“I am serious. I wanted to rip her off of you and then beat her with the deck chair.”
“That would have been really hot but I’m glad you didn’t. She’s not worth your time, your tears or a hefty jail sentence.”
I smiled through my tears. “No, but you are.”
At this point he was so close that the front of his body was touching the front of mine. His lips were less than an inch away. “I am desperate to kiss you Ellison, to touch you, but I’m the one who hurt you. I don’t want to force your forgiveness before you are ready. You have to be the one to reach out and I need you to make sure it’s what you want because once you do, I will not let you take it back.”
Slowly, I leaned forward and touched my lips to his. As soon as he opened up, I slid in. He let out a sound of pure anguish as if it was wrenched from his soul. Flipping me on my back, he cupped my face with both hands and stared into my eyes.
“You forgive me?”
I nodded.
“I need to hear you say it.”
“Yes, Max, I forgive you.”
“I love you Ells.”
“I love you too, Max.”
His lips hit mine and the pain and hurt washed away.
“I want you,” I breathed. I needed proof that this was real.
“Me too, but your aunt, Joss, Kurt, Piper and that tool Tom are downstairs waiting to see how this turns out.”
“Tom is such a tool, isn’t he?” I giggled.
“Where did she find him?”
“At a Chucky doll convention.”
“No shit?” he asked with raised eyebrows. I could see that he was trying to work this out in his head.
My fit of laughter made him smile. “Get cleaned up and meet me downstairs,” he said kissing the laughter from my lips. “Let’s get this shit over with.”
I made myself presentable, we assured my aunt and my friends that I was okay and life was good again. Later, we spent hours making up for lost time.
Max and I were inseparable after the Jennifer incident. His dad was never around so I got the chance to spend a lot of time with Sarah as well. She was everything I would want in a little sister and I was excited about spending time with her while Max was away at school.
“I have something for you,” Max said one afternoon as he was twirling a piece of my hair around his finger. We were lounging on a blanket in my backyard and listening to the radio.
“Funny you should say that. I have something for you also. In fact, I have two somethings for you,” I said, rising up on my elbow.
He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Shaking my head I informed him that mine wasn’t wrapped yet.
On one of our numerous double dates with Joss and Kurt that summer, Joss managed to get a great picture of us. We were at The Alley Cat, a little neighborhood bar and restaurant, and I had just come back from the bathroom when Max pulled me down onto his lap. He had me in a backwards bear hug and we were laughing into the camera. That picture captured what we felt for each other better than any words could. I made two copies, bought two frames and was planning on giving one to him right before he left for college as a going away present. The other would sit on my night stand.
&nbs
p; “How about we do something special tonight? We can spend the whole night together and give each other our gifts,” he suggested.
“Your place or mine?” We had been sneaking in and out of each other’s houses all summer and had it mastered.
“Tell your aunt you are staying over at Joss’ and I’ll make sure Sarah has some place to crash for the night.”
I looked down into his beautiful face and couldn’t believe that he was finally mine after all these years. “Can’t wait for tonight,” I said, pressing my lips to his.
“Me either.”
Wearing a short skirt and a fitted tank, I was ready. I made sure I put on sexy, clean underwear and my new strappy sandals that showed off my long tan legs. Max loved my long legs. I grabbed my overnight bag, waved goodbye to my aunt, hopped in my car and turned on the stereo. Somebody Told Me. Ah, The Killers. What a great band. They were loud, had a good looking lead singer and awesome song lyrics.
Life couldn’t get any better than this.
I was driving to see my guy and was the happiest I had ever been. My first month on the pill was up and I couldn’t wait to see Max’s face when I told him about it.
When I pulled up, he was waiting for me. He had on a pair of worn jeans, a tight fitting Harley tee, bare feet and a heart stopping smile on his face.
“What’s that smile for?” I asked, as I reached the porch.
“You.” His eyes were glued to my skirt.
I gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks baby. Is Sarah here?”
“I like it when you call me baby and no, Sarah is not here. She’s staying with a friend tonight.”
“What about your dad?”
“Probably out getting drunk and causing trouble. Who knows?”
“Whatcha want to do?”
“Come inside and I’ll show you,” he said threading his fingers through mine. “How about we eat and talk, first. We’ll get to my other plans later.”
As soon as dinner was over, he started in. “We need to talk about me leaving.”
“I know.”
Max and I hadn’t talked about him leaving for college yet. He had tried but I kept putting him off. It made me sad. In a way, I felt like I would lose him the second he saw what great things were out there in the world.
“I want to put all of your worries to rest, Ells, but can’t if you don’t tell me what you are thinking.”
“You are leaving. I am staying. There will be girls and parties and new experiences for you. I’ll be here doing the same things I have been for the past three years,” I shrugged.
“You’re right, I am leaving. I am going to a new place where there will be new experiences but my heart is here in Charlotte. I have responsibilities here that I do not take lightly.”
“Like Sarah,” I said looking down at my lap.
“Yes, like Sarah,” he said. I felt the pressure of his fingers on my chin. When he got my eyes, he continued. “I also have a beautiful girlfriend who I am crazy about, not to mention a job where I make really good money. Benny wants me to work on the weekends, so it looks like I will be home every Friday through Sunday.”
My eyes shot to his face. “Really?”
“Sarah and my job are important, but I also worry about a sweet, beautiful girl, who I am crazy in love with falling for someone else while I am away. I simply can’t have that, so I figure I will need to be here as much as possible.”
I squealed and launched myself into his lap. “Wait, I have something for you,” I all but shouted. I ran to my bag and pulled out the wrapped frame. “I wanted you to have something that would remind you of me, something that you can travel with,” I said, handing him the frame.
He ripped the paper off and froze.
“Wow,” he whispered, reverently running his fingers over our faces. “This is awesome. Where did you get it? Who took it?”
“Remember that night we went to dinner with Joss and Kurt and Joss kept taking pictures of everyone? Well, this was one that she took of us.”
He stood up and deposited me on my feet. Then, taking my hand, he walked me to his bedroom. He placed the frame next to the picture of his sister and mother.
“Thank you baby, I have something for you as well. This will hopefully remind you of me, will keep you safe and will bide the time until I see you on the weekends.” I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a set of keys. Then, grabbing my wrist, he opened my hand and dropped them in it.
“A set of keys?” I asked, somewhat confused. I wasn’t comfortable being in his house with his messed up dad.
“Come here gorgeous girl,” he said, laughing at my expression. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me like a vise. “We have been together now for three months.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, so I just nodded. “And, in three months, I have fixed your beat up piece of shit car three times.” Oh God. I was catching on.
“Max,” I whispered.
“that averages out to a break down a month,” he continued. “Now, I have asked you to help with my sister and you agreed, right?”
“Max,” I said again.
“Right, so I figure that I need to protect the two most important people to me, in any way that I can.”
“But Max, you love your truck,” I managed to get out before he cut me off again.
“Yes. But I love you more and I want to know that you are safe, especially when I can’t be with you.”
“But, what will you drive?”
“I’ve been working on a 1970 four by four Chevy Shortbed for Benny. When I told him my idea, he agreed with me and told me to take the Chevy. It’s not like I’m never coming back, babe,” he whispered in my ear. “Please say you’ll do this for me.”
“I would do anything for you, Max, but your truck?”
“I want you to be safe. How about this, I’ll park it over at Benny’s and will explain to him that you will be coming by to use it…. often. That way, you can check on Benny for me and use the truck whenever you need. Sound good?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “You are such a great guy, Max.”
“And there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Ellison.” He kissed my neck and gave me a tight squeeze before letting go. I watched him walk across the room toward his window.
“Where are you going?”
“You’ll see.”
Suddenly, Bono’s sultry voice came through the speakers and my heart completely melted.
All I Want Is You.
“How did you know?” I asked. I loved this band and especially this song. It reminded me of Max.
“I just did,” he shrugged. “We like the same music. If I wrote a song for you, this would be it. He held out his hand. Dance with me?”
I wanted to cry. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted forever. He was sunshine, moonlight, sandy beaches and salty air. He was happy laughter and sexy smiles. He was my best friend, my lover, my heart…..He was everything good in this world and, believe me, few things were ever good in my world. I was nervous about him leaving but would never begrudge him this experience.
“We’ve never danced together,” I said, placing my hand in his.
“This is just the first of many, Ellison Davis,” he murmured, pressing his lips to mine.
“I like the sound of that,” I said against his mouth. We danced for the remainder of the song and just when I thought it was over, it began again.
Kissing me, Max walked us backwards until the backs of my knees hit the bed. His mouth moved from my lips down to my neck as one hand traveled to the middle of my back and the other to the side of my breast. The hand on my back slid down and under the waist of my skirt, while the other worked its way under my tank and bra, right to my nipple.
Two can play this game.
Reaching my hand down between us, I cupped him and lightly squeezed. Hearing the hitch of his breath made me smile.
Game on.
Growling, he yanked my tank off and, with a flick of his fingers, unclasped my
bra. His lips were on my breast, his hands on my ass, Bono was singing about promises and I was in love. Somehow, I managed to get his jeans unbuttoned and off, along with his boxers. At the same time he had me stepping out of my panties. Before I knew what was happening, he had me turned around and bent over, both hands flat on the bed, and was reaching for a condom.
“No condom, I’m on the pill,” I panted.
“What?”
“No condom. I’m safe, I…” Before I could say any more, he tilted my hips up and was plunging inside me.
“I love you,” he ground out. He had a hand on my hip, the other between my legs and I was shaking with pleasure. I could feel every bare inch of him deep inside. In a total of two seconds, we went from restrained to completely wild. He was pounding me from behind while grinding his fingers between my legs. I was screaming in pure ecstasy. Loving…Every…Second…Of…It.
“Come,” he commanded and I did.
I lay face down on the bed with my skirt thrown over my hips and my bare ass hanging in the breeze. Max lay next to me and was running his fingers up and down my naked spine.
“Have I ever told you that I love the way you smell?” I sleepily mumbled.
“No.”
I could hear the smile in his voice. “Like leather and spices and everything that’s good in the world.” I felt his hand still. When it started back up I continued. “I haven’t had much good in my life. I was convinced that it didn’t exist for me…. until you.”
I must have fallen asleep because when I came back to consciousness, I was snugly tucked into Max’s side with his arms tightly wrapped around me. Apparently, he had taken off my skirt and sandals while I slept because they were no longer on my body. I breathed deeply in, wanting to memorize the smells that made up my Max. I knew that he wasn’t going far or forever, but he was going. Things were going to change and, whether he admitted it or not, so would our relationship. I felt a wave of sadness roll over me. I never had anything worth keeping before so I wasn’t familiar with the feelings that came with having to let go. I could feel the tears welling and, thinking Max was asleep, I let them spill over.
“Hey, you okay?” His voice was sexy with sleep.
I buried my head in his pillow and hoped that he wouldn’t see me crying.
