Ugly Duckling

by Malcolm Allen

  'Liz it's John, how are you today? Hung over after last night I expect.' by the time Ian and John returned to Liz's celebratory drink the night before, Liz and the rest were already on the second bottle of champagne courtesy of an unusually generous Phil.

  'No I'm fine thanks, believe it or not I didn't drink that much, Phil kept trying to get me to go to his back room, so I thought I'd better keep my wits about me.' She heard John laughing on the other end of the phone 'It's not bloody funny John, that man's a pest sometimes.'

  'I know Liz, he just thinks he's irresistible to women, particularly if he plies them with champagne.' John was still laughing 'Perhaps I should give it a go'

  'You don't need to and you know it so stop being overly modest. Thanks for the CD by the way, I've been listening to it all morning, it’s pretty good.'

  'That's sort of what I was calling you about.' He'd been feeling guilty about his present and wanted to try to put things right. 'I was hoping we could meet for a drink later, if you're up to it, and maybe go for a proper meal out for your birthday treat, all I got you yesterday was fish and chips and a CD that nobody's heard of.'

  Liz was feeling very popular today, three invites in one day 'You don't have too you know, I really loved yesterday afternoon and the CD is fine' she didn't give John the chance to retract his offer 'But as you insist I'll be happy to meet you later, I'm going out for coffee and then Greg said he would be in the Pig later on, so we could meet there, all have a farewell drink with Greg, then you and I can go for a meal. Sounds perfect.'

  'Ok Liz that sounds good to me. It’s a date.'

  'Yes it is.' replied Liz.

  Chapter 35

  Ian returned from the book store, he'd been to collect a book he had ordered two weeks ago and was now happily grasping it as if his life depended on it, as he entered John’s office he heard

  'Ok Liz that sounds good to me. It’s a date.'

  'A Date with Liz!' Ian was beaming.

  John hung up the phone, 'It’s not that sort of date, just a birthday meal.'

  Puzzled, Ian asked 'But didn't you take her for fish and chips yesterday, and invite her on holiday to Corfu.'

  'How did you know about that?'

  'Liz told me, she said that you told her you wanted us all to go. Quite a good ploy I thought.'

  'What are you talking about Ian? I do want us all to go, it'd be like old times.'

  'Oh Sorry J.D.' Ian put his book on the desk 'But I told you weeks ago me and Jane are going to Florida, we can’t afford two holidays. I thought you were just telling Liz that to get her to agree.'

  'No Ian. I do, er did, want us all to go. Oh well that's put paid to that idea.'

  'You could still go, just you and Liz, She'd be up for it, she said as much last night, when she was talking about the lovely afternoon you'd had together, when you should have been here, working.' Ian was grinning

  'I was working thank you. Had to go to see Mr Dunn, it was very important.'

  'Yes J.D Liz told me, very important. Woof Woof.'

  'Alright Ian, that's enough, shut your face. What's that you've got?'

  Ian removed the book from its bag and stood proudly holding it in front of him 'It's the Toxicology Handbook J.D, I've been waiting 2 weeks for it to arrive.'

  A month ago Jane had discovered, through her genealogy hobby, that Ian was actually distantly related to Dr Crippen the infamous wife killer from the early 20th century, this in turn had spurred Ian to take an interest in Toxicology.

  'Don't you think that's taking it a bit far Ian that looks an expensive book?'

  'No J.D, it’s not just the Crippen thing although that did spur me on a bit, but it’s really interesting, and it might help in my career, I'm not saying I'll ever be a Toxicologist, but it can’t do any harm to know about these things.'

  'As long as you’re not planning to use them the way your ancestor did.'

  'No J.D you're safe, but if you ever piss me off again I'd double check the coffee and sandwiches if I were you.' Ian let out a comedy sinister laugh.

  John watched emotionless 'Don't give up the day Job Ian. Are you ready to go to the Queens parlour now?

  'Lead the way kind sir' came Ian's reply bowing as John passed.

  ***

  Arriving at the address given to them by Greg, they found themselves sat out side a large detached Victorian style house, outwardly there was no indication that it was anything more than a large family home. They approached the front door and rang the bell after a short pause and elderly rotund gentleman opened the door.

  'Hello, Can I help you?' he said cheerfully

  'Good afternoon Sir, I'm Detective inspector Dickie and this is Detective Sergeant Cripp,' they held up their identity cards 'I wonder if we might have a word.'

  'The Police? Oh dear, is something wrong?' he made no sign of opening the door to let them in.

  'Well Sir, we were looking for somewhere called the Queens Parlour, we were led to believe that its here, at this address.' John was trying to peer into the house, without success 'Could we come in?'

  The jolly expression on the man's face dropped 'Do you have a warrant?'

  'No Sir we don't, but we only want to ask some questions that could help us with an ongoing murder enquiry. It’s nothing to do with the activities at this property.'

  The man considered Johns words for a moment then opened the door fully his Jolly expression re-instated. 'Then you'd better come in, I'm always happy to help the police if I can.'

  John and Ian entered the hall way, on each of the doors to the rooms was a sign naming the rooms, there was the 'Victoria Parlour' 'Elizabeth Parlour' 'Mary's Parlour' and 'The Queens Kitchen' there was a sign at the bottom of the stairs reading 'Upstairs for Anne's Parlour, W.C and office.

  'I'm Sorry Gentlemen, My names George, I want to say before we start that there is nothing illegal going on here, it's simply somewhere that like minded people can meet for a chat and a game of chess or something of that nature. This is not a brothel of any kind; you won’t find a bed in any of the rooms. Nor is it a drugs den. We are decent honest people here that just have a different sexual orientation to the majority.'

  'George.' John interrupted 'We're really not here to raid the place or inspect your members list, we have a difficult case to solve and believe you may be able to help, that's all.'

  George relaxed a little and called for his friend who appeared from the Queens Kitchen, which was a Kitchen.

  'Simon would you bring some tea and Join us in the Victoria Parlour, these Gentlemen are police officers and have some questions for us.'

  George gestured to John and Ian and led them into the room. It was a very tastefully decorated room, full of antiques from the Victorian era, there were comfy chairs and low tables with newspapers and magazines on them, one wall was completely taken up by a large book case and a chess table stood by the window, George walked to a sofa with a coffee table and two 'club' chairs opposite and sat. John and Ian joined him.

  'This is very nice' Ian commented.

  'What did you expect?' George replied 'Pink Curtains and scatter cushions?'

  Ian laughed, slightly uneasily, that had been exactly what he had expected. 'No of course not. But this is like a gentleman’s club.'

  'That's how we like to think of it. Ah Simon you've brought the tea, good man.' Simon placed the tea tray on the table and sat next to George, after pouring the tea into Bone china cups and passing then out he handed round a selection of biscuits neatly arranged on a silver platter. ‘So Gentlemen, how can we help?' George asked

  'Well George' John placed his cup carefully back onto the table and took out the picture of Roger offering it to George 'We were wondering if you recognised this man? ‘George took the picture and studied it carefully, narrowing his eyes and thinking very carefully, John was ready for the expected 'Never seen him before' but instead George stunned him by saying

  'That's young Roger Green' he handed the picture back to John,

/>   'His Father, Jeremy, used to holiday down here, came from London or was it' he paused thinking again 'Luton, yes it was Luton. They came here for holidays two or three times a year, as I remember Jeremy was very anti gay, we used to talk quite often, I ran a little guest house in those days, but he never stood too close to me, seemed afraid I would infect him with homosexuality. His wife was very dowdy, always stayed in the background, can’t actually ever remember hearing her speak and I certainly never knew her name, we just addressed her as Mrs Green. But his son Roger he was a different story, quite a strange lad.' he paused again for a moment 'I don't know if he was just doing it to rebel against his father, but he was so outwardly gay, brash you might say. Used to wear make up and flouncy clothes, but he was a sulky little sod. Once came down to breakfast wearing his mothers dress and shoes, It really embarrassed his father. I believe eventually his father sent him to America. ‘George took another sip of his tea.

  'How long is it since you saw them?' John placed the photo back inside his jacket pocket.

  'Oh goodness me, its years. Although I did think I saw Jeremy not so long ago, but he vanished into the crowd before I could speak with him.'

  'And Roger, have you seen him?'

  'Lord no. Doubt I'd even recognise him now, that's quite an old picture you have there, he will have grown up since then.'

  John scribbled a few notes and then said 'Thank you George that's very helpful, Can I ask, if Roger makes contact with you would you call me and let me know?' he handed George one of his cards and another to Simon.

  'What is it he's supposed to have done?' George answered

  'We believe he's involved with the murder of his father and possibly others'

  'Really? Well as I said he was a very strange lad at times.' George inspected the card 'Then of course if I hear anything I will contact you Inspector Dickie.' He stood indicating the meeting was over, 'Would you like to take a look around?' he asked politely 'And Inspector Cripp, if you like Simon could bring you a membership application form, I'm sure you’d fit in quite well with some of the other membership.'

  'Er. No thank you, I don’t think my wife would approve' Ian made for the door closely followed by John and they left.

  John was silent on the way back to the car, but as soon as they were inside burst out laughing. 'What's up Ian? Don't you like chess?'

  Ian watched John laughing hysterically 'Shut up and drive.' was all he could think to say.

  Arriving back at the station Ian followed John into his office where they both sat and sipped the coffee they had picked up on the way, John looked at the notes he had taken at the Queens Parlour. 'What did you make of George and his friend Ian?'

  'They seemed ok, strange how they hadn't seen any of the publicity though.' Ian went over to the white board.

  'Some people are just like that Ian, they see it but don't take any notice. It was interesting what he said about Roger and his parents though.'

  'How do you mean J.D?'

  'Well, the way he said Roger went out of his way to rub his father’s nose into the fact he was gay.'

  'Rebellious teenager?'

  'Probably. Then his father sent him to America, doesn’t sound like there was much love lost between them. Perhaps that's the motive for killing him.'

  Ian was still studying the board 'Seems a bit weak J.D but I suppose with people like him any motive is strong enough. George said a couple of times he thought Roger was strange'

  'Well let’s be honest Ian, if a lad comes to breakfast wearing his mothers dress you'd think he was strange.'

  Ian turned to look at John an expression of realisation on his face, 'What if he's still wearing his mother’s clothes or at least women's clothes, he could be a transvestite.'

  Chapter 36

  The Laughing Pig was unusually busy for the time of day, Greg thought it was probably due to the drizzle that had spread in from the sea that evening, but he found himself a seat and settled in to wait for Liz, on a rack fixed to the wall were some newspapers including the edition that carried Rogers picture, Greg took it and spread it on the table in front of him looking at Rogers picture, he placed one hand at the top of the picture and the other at the bottom leaving only the eyes uncovered, staring at the eyes he kept thinking to himself how familiar they looked he was sure he'd seen those eyes somewhere before but couldn't recall where it was, he refolded the paper and returned it to the rack.

  'Greg! Want a pint' John was stood at the bar and had spotted Greg as he looked around for somewhere to sit.

  'No its ok thanks, got one here, come over and join me.'

  John carried his drink over and sat at the table with Greg. 'Liz told me you might be here she should be here soon. So tell me all about Glasgow.'

  'It's great John, the city is much better than I expected, all I knew about Glasgow was what I'd heard through stories, you know the type, knife wielding Scot's looking for any opportunity to get into a fight, but its really not like that, its a nice place.'

  'That's good Greg, I'm glad you're happy.'

  Greg looked and John unsure what was going on, when Greg worked in Bournemouth John barely acknowledged him now he was being all chummy. 'I've got to say John, since you've found out I'm gay you've been far more friendly, is there something you want to say to me?'

  John started to laugh 'don’t go getting ideas Greg, before I found out you were gay I thought you were after Liz.'

  'I've got news for you John' Greg sat forward and looked John in the eye 'I am. Not in the way you thought, but I want her to come up to Scotland to work with me. My lab is fantastic, funded by private money and plenty of it, we do the usual paternity tests and other mundane stuff, but we also work for crime agencies from all over the planet. Liz would really blossom in a situation like that.'

  John sat back and took a drink 'Then you should ask her to go.'

  'I have John, but she won’t because of you. I'm going to ask you John in the spirit of our new found friendship. If you have no intention of ever getting together with Liz, tell her. It may hurt her to start with but in the long run it would be better for her, she could come up to Scotland and establish herself as one of the leading authorities in the world, which you and me both know is where she belongs.'

  'And if I do have intentions towards her?'

  'Then John I wish you both the best of luck, I hope you make each other happy, I think you both deserve it. All she would have to do then is persuade you to come up to Scotland and we would all be happy.'

  John laughed again 'Not sure how happy I'd be up there and I'm not sure my policing methods would have any effect in Glasgow.' he paused thoughtfully 'to be honest Greg, and this is just between me and you, things have changed between me and Liz, but I'm still not 100 percent sure how I feel about her. I don't want her to leave, but I don't want to hold her back either.'

  'Then I suggest you should talk to her more, take her out on a few dates find out how you really feel about each other.'

  John new Greg was right, what Greg didn't know was that he'd already decided to do just that. 'Where is Liz anyway' John was looking at his watch 'I thought she'd be here by now.' he took his phone from his pocket 'I'll give her a call, see how far away she is.' he dialled the number and waited, 'Engaged, she'll be trying to phone us to tell us she's running late.'

  Greg stood 'Do you want another drink then while we're waiting, a pint was it?' he went to the bar and stood waiting to be served. Phil came over 'Hi Greg, I've got a message for you from Liz, she says she's really sorry but she's not feeling too good and won’t be able to make it tonight, she sounded really rough on the phone.'

  Greg ordered the drinks and went back to the table where he gave John the news. 'She seemed fine earlier' he was saying 'but I suppose these things can come up on you quite quickly. Phil said she sounded really rough, perhaps it’s just a twenty four hour bug of some sort.'

  Greg and John continued in conversation for some time but John couldn't help but worry about
Liz ‘I’ll just try to ring her' he told Greg 'make sure she's ok.' he dialled the number but got no answer.

  'She's probably taken to her bed with a lemon drink or something.' Greg said 'She'll be fine tomorrow, anyway I've got to go, early start tomorrow, think about what I said and give my love to Liz will you.' they shook hands and Greg left. John went to the bar to speak to Phil 'Phil, how did Liz sound when she phoned?'

  'She sounded really rough, sort of a horse croaky voice and quiet I could hardly make out what she said, I guess it must have been bad to stand you two up.'

  'Yes I guess it must have been' replied John.

  Chapter 37

  John hadn't slept well, he'd been awake most of the night worrying about Liz and when the alarm clock went off he'd smashed it on the top with the customary 'shut the fuck up' and lay thinking about the night before. He decided to go into work a little later that day and phoned Ian to asked him to take the morning briefing as he wanted to go check on Liz, He was worried not only that she'd been taken ill but also felt uneasy that she had phoned the Laughing Pig and not either Greg or himself, it wasn't like her. And the fact that it was Greg's last night made it even more unusual for her to miss, she wouldn't normally do that unless she was at deaths door, it just didn't seem right. He tried to phone her to say he was on his way over, no answer. So grabbing his coat he left.

  Pulling into Liz's drive he noticed her car was missing, so again he tried to phone and again there was no answer, he had a bad feeling about this, he couldn't explain what, but the last time he had a feeling like this was just before he received the news about Sonia, he rang the door bell and waited but when no answer came he decided to walk around to the back, he knew she had a key safe there and he had the combination 'just in case anything happens' Liz had said. Punching the code into the safe he removed the key and went back to the front door to let himself in. 'Liz!' he called 'It's only John, are you ok?' there was silence, he looked into the kitchen and living room and then made his way upstairs to Liz's bedroom glancing into the spare room as he passed. 'Liz' he called again as he tentatively peered around the bedroom door 'Are you here?' She was not. Suddenly he heard somebody downstairs, he looked out of the window to check if Liz's car had arrived, the only car in the drive was his own, so slowly he tiptoed to the top of the stairs, he could see a shadow disappearing into the kitchen so he swiftly and silently he descended the stairs, he dashed into the kitchen. 'Ok who are you, what the fuck are you doing here, and where's Liz!' he didn't even bother to look.