by Blue Remy
“Yeah. I helped her find this place to rent while she finds a job.” Ellie looks over at me hesitantly, and I know I need to let her know how fucking happy I am that she’s helping my sister.
Pulling Ellie into my arms next, I kiss her hard, and grab her ass. “Thank you so fucking much, babe,” I whisper in her ear.
Looking over at Sydney, I can’t help but notice that she’s not the little girl I used to protect. She is a grown woman, and I know I’m gonna want to beat down any fucker who even looks at her too long. Shit. My brothers are gonna be all fuckin’ over her.
We go and sit on the old sofa that looks like something our grandparents would have had in their living room, and talk about anything and everything for the next few hours.
Syd tells me everything that has been going on in her life, and the assholes she’s dated. I can feel my whole body tense up. I want to fuckin’ murder every single one of those little frat boys when I hear how they treated my little sister.
Ellie’s hand on my thigh reminds me that they aren’t worth the trouble. Now that Syd is here, she will have her brother beating anyone’s ass who treats her anything less than the princess she is.
We stay until dinner, and Syd makes us some pasta dish that my mom used to make us all the time as kids. After a few drinks and getting stuffed on pasta, I hug and kiss my sister on the cheek, and say my goodbyes.
“We have a family barbecue coming up at the clubhouse. You should come and say hi to Brant, Jase, and the rest of the boys.”
“Ohh! I would love to! Just let me know when, and I’ll be there!” she says excitedly. Growing up she always had the biggest crush on the twins, and they used to smile and wink at her to get her all speechless.
I watch Ellie and Syd say goodbye. I can’t believe how close they still are. It amazes me, but I guess I should have known better. Sydney was always telling me to stop being an idiot and go talk to her, but I wouldn’t listen. Now I regret it because we have lost so much time, but I’m also glad to have her back in my life.
I would be lost without her right now with all the shit going on. She’s my saving grace when the shit becomes too much.
Giving Sydney one last hug, I walk Ellie out to my bike, but stop her before getting on.
“Thank you, babe. I can’t even describe how fuckin’ happy I am that she’s back home. Thank you for reaching out to her and helping her.”
Ellie stands on her tiptoes, wraps her arms around my neck, and presses her lips against mine.
“I would do anything for you,” she mumbles against my lips.
Releasing her, I get on my bike. I wait for her to get on behind me, and wrap her arms and legs around me.
Taking off into the warm night air, I thank fuckin’ God that I have this girl by my side, and that my brothers have my back.
Epilogue
Ten Years Later
Getting off my bike, I pull a cigarette out of the pack, and light it up. Shit’s finally calmed down, and everyone seems to have settled down. Every event seems to be for a new kid coming into our family.
Not that I can complain. I have two of those little bikers in training, that are keeping Ellie and I fuckin’ busy. I never imagined that raising kids was this fucking hard, but my girl is a natural at it. We tried for months before she got pregnant with Harper.
At one point we gave up, and decided that we would just keep fucking without protection and if it were meant to be, it would happen. It took almost a year after that before she came running into the garage to tell me the news.
We both fucking laughed and cried, as we celebrated by dancing around our garage. Yeah, I know. I have my sweet moments, but only with that girl. She’s the only one who can bring it out in me.
I love her and those two kids of ours more than anything else in this fuckin’ world. I still can’t believe they are six and eight already.
Now I get what the guys said when they talked about having kids; especially after thinking we’d never have them.
Stubbing out my cigarette, I make my way inside, and go in search of my ole’ lady. I’ve been gone for the last week dealing with some shit for Dom. I am dying to sink into Ellie, and kiss my kids goodnight.
It’s after midnight, and I rarely miss more than a day or two of them growing up. But this shit had to be done, and I was the only one to do it.
The house is quiet, but I see Ellie reading a book on the couch.
When she hears my boots on the tile floor, she looks up, and her face breaks into a bright smile. The smile she saves for the kids and I only.
She tosses her book on the couch, and runs towards me. She jumps into my arms, and wraps her legs around me.
Just feeling her body against mine makes me think about taking her right here, right now. As much as I want to, I want to kiss the kids goodnight too.
Squeezing her ass, I kiss her deeply before I tap her ass to get her to release her legs.
“Hey, babe. How were things while I was gone?” I ask. Her eyes shimmer in the light, and she tells me about everything they did while I was gone.
“Ry, Mathis has been asking me when you’d be home. He wanted to stay up until you got here, but he ended up falling asleep a few hours ago.” She gets a frown on her face, and I kiss her once more before I walk down the hall towards their rooms.
Checking in on Harper first, I see that her blanket is off the bed, and she’s lying at some crazy ass angle. Moving her to where she doesn’t look like she’s about to break something, I pull her blanket to her chin, and kiss her goodnight.
She moves a little, but her eyes never open. “Love you, baby girl,” I whisper into the dark room.
Making my way into Mathis’ room next, I see him sprawled out in his own weird fuckin’ way. Sitting on his bed, I move him into a comfortable position, and pull his blanket up to his chin too. “Love you, little man,” I whisper.
He stirs, and his brown eyes lock onto mine after a few seconds. “Daddy,” he mumbles. “I waited for you.”
“I see that, buddy. Momma said you were waiting up for me. Sorry I didn’t make it back early enough.” Running my hand over his hair, he gives me a small smile.
“It’s okay, Daddy. Love you.”
“Love you, too, buddy. How about we do man things tomorrow and mom and sister can go do girly things?”
He nods his head, and his eyes light up with excitement. “Okay.” He closes his eyes, and starts to fall back asleep. I kiss his hair, and make my way back out into the hallway where Ellie is standing there watching me.
“I love you so much,” she whispers.
“Love you more, babe. You ready for me to tuck you in?” I ask with a grin. She smirks. I grab her, toss her over my shoulder, and walk straight towards our room.
Tossing her on the bed, I show her exactly how much I’ve missed her, over and over again.
A tumultuous life and a series of bad choices have led Annie to a desperate place. Nearly homeless, alone and emotionally scarred with two small boys to care for she must get her hands on a lot of money and fast. Annie finds an unlikely hero in a mysterious man who simply goes by the name of H. As if by some unidentifiable power, H always seems to show up just when she needs him the most. With so much at stake, is Annie willing to follow her unreliable heart and trust that she isn’t making another bad decision, or will her fierce yet gentle giant prove to be worth the risk?
Prologue
September 1989
“Well, shit.” I mumbled while pulling into the driveway. All the lights were off which meant Mama wasn’t home. I’d forgotten that it was Wednesday, which meant she was at church choir practice. No surprise there. I put the car in park and glanced at my two sleeping babies in the backseat.
You can’t go back.
Through the rearview mirror, the red and purple splotches around my neck were still visible. The street lights were bright enough to catch it all. My blood shot eyes, my tear stained cheeks, and my swollen top lip. Even the finger grip br
uising around my wrist hurt like hell but what ached worst of all was my heart. We nearly killed each other.
Never go back, Annie.
I turned back to look at my beautiful little boys. My pride and joy. The only good that ever came from my relationship with Jimmy.
I hadn’t been home in years. Mama didn’t agree with my decisions and all but washed her hands of me the last time we’d spoke. But I wasn’t here for me. I was here for my babies. This was the safest place for them while I got my shit together. As much as it hurt to be without them, it wasn’t fair to keep them with me. Playing my guitar on street corners for tips then sleeping in the car in back parking lots of sketchy all night convenience stores was no place for a three and one-year-old. I needed to find a job and a stable place for them, away from Jimmy and his influences. Besides, he never wanted them in the first place.
I woke up to the sound of tapping on the cold glass against my ear and it startled me. Mama was scowling from under her big straw hat with pale pink flowers tucked into the brim. It wasn’t until I rolled down the smudged window did she notice the condition of my face. Her expression immediately softened and it was clear she knew why I was there.
“Oh, child,” she reached out a hand and gently cupped my bruised jaw. “I wish you woulda’ listened.” Her sympathetic blue eyes shifted to the boys and then back to me. “Get those babies inside, it’s freezin’.” Then she spun on her heels and into the house.
The next day Mama made me go down to the courthouse and file an order of protection. I knew Jimmy had so many warrants out for his arrest that he wouldn’t dare step foot anywhere near the county. He might have been a dirty rotten bastard but he wasn’t stupid. It was the reason I chose to come home however; I did as Mama asked. After that, we stayed with her for a week, which was enough time for my face to recover and the soreness to go away. Any bruising that remained could be covered with a little makeup. It also took that long for me to work up the courage to convince her to look after the boys for a little while until I could find us a place of our own.
“Why do you have to go away to do that? There’s plenty of work around here. I know Ed Jolly needs a new girl at the store. I’ll just call him up…”
“No, Mama. I need to make real money. A minimum wage job at Jolly’s Country Store ain’t gonna cut it.”
“But I’ve raised my children, girl. I’m too old to be changin’ diapers.” I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Mama was forty-three and hardly old.
“Just give me a few weeks. That’s all. I’ll find a decent job and a place where the boys will be safe.” I pleaded. There was no way I could live in Haventown. I’d spent eighteen years trying to get out of there and had no intentions of raising my children in a town whose religious beliefs were so overzealous they bordered on creepy.
The silence between us went on for what felt like an eternity. I waited while she creaked back and forth in her rocking chair while the faint, yet familiar sounds of choir music played in the background. The entire moment reminded me of all the times I’d sat here being lectured about my evil ways as a teenager. I wasn’t sure if it was the stifling heat in the room or sheer nervousness that cause sweat to bead on my upper lip. I hoped for once in her life she would just give in, be the mother I needed her to be and stop punishing me. I’d already beat myself up enough over my mistakes and I didn’t need her to help me feel any worse.
“One month, Annetta Lynn. That’s all I can allow. If you can’t provide a good home for those children by then, it’s best you turn them over to somebody who will. You know Pastor Davis and his wife would gladly take them in.”
Mama did have a loving nature when she chose to show it, but she could also be selfish. I knew with certainty that she would try to offer her own grandchildren over to her pastor as a way to stay in his good favor. I swallowed the metallic taste of my own blood while biting down on my tongue. It took everything I had not to give her an earful of what I thought about her religion, and not to mention Pastor Davis. I wanted to shout how I would rather die before I let her turn my babies over to him.
“Not gonna happen. I’ll come back before then.” My words coming out clipped as I tried to even my tone. Instead of pushing my luck, I reminded myself that she had at least agreed to help me and that had to be enough.
“One month, child,” she said, opening the worn bible that had been resting on her lap. “I mean it.” Then she put her reading glasses into place and began flipping pages, a sign that she was finished with the discussion.
“Yes, Mama. One month. All the time I need.”
My plan was still uncertain but I knew when it came to my boys, I would do anything. No matter what.
Chapter One
29 days and counting...
I was waiting at the corner to cross the street when the loud rumble of a car engine caught my attention. Turning my head towards the sound, I saw a blue older model Chevy Camaro pulling into the parking lot of a building across the street. Curious, I followed the car’s movement, waiting to see who would step out. A tall, muscular man with skin the color of warm caramel stepped out of the car and strode to the buildings front doors. He shook hands with another man who looked like he’d been waiting. They exchanged words briefly, then the man I’d been fixating on smiled as he turned his head while surveying the area.
Even from that distance I could see he was handsome with bright white teeth and a special air of confidence. My breath caught when his gaze stopped on me. Immediately I looked away to avoid eye contact, and to my horror, everyone else had nearly finished crossing the street. Feeling silly, I hurried forward as cars honked impatiently for me to get out of their way. After safely making it to the other side, I gave into the urge to look for the stranger. To my relief and utter disappointment, he was gone.
***
“Annette?” A male voice barked, snapping my attention away from the girl who was gyrating on the stage ahead. The Jumpstart was my third stop that day in search of a singing gig. Rumors said it was a place for miscellaneous talent, however, I didn’t realize that meant anything goes. Not wanting to look like a prude I finished the information form and handed it over to the bartender as confidently as I could.
“Anyone out here named Annette?” I lifted my eyes to see the man who was driving the blue Camaro earlier looking around impatiently.
“Here!” I shouted and stood. “I’m here. I’m Annette.” I’d made the decision that morning to shorten my name slightly to Annette because it sounded much more mature than Annetta, plus Mama was the only one who used my full name. To everyone else I was Annie.
“Well, hurry up and get in here.” The man waved his arm in an exaggerated manner and then disappeared into the doorway. My knees knocked together nervously as I followed. This was much different from where I’d performed in the past, mostly hole in the wall places and family owned restaurants. A rogue waitress from the last place I visited whispered that I should check out the Jumpstart if I wanted to make “serious” cash.
Before reaching the doorway, I quickly wiped the beads of sweat on my upper lip before entering the room. The man was sitting on the edge of his desk and scanning my information form. The office was small with papers covering the desk and filing cabinets lining the wall to the left of it. There was a tiny open space in the middle of it all but nowhere for me to sit.
“How old are you, Annette?” The man asked without looking up. He had to be in his mid-twenties and was wearing a nice pair of designer jeans that looked brand new. His black hair was cut very close to his skin and thick eyelashes that curled back in a way that most girls would envy.
“I’m, uh, twenty-one.” I swallowed to help my dry throat and twisted my fingers nervously.
“What sort of music do you play?”
“Mostly blues covers but I can do just about anything.” He gave a quick nod, looking satisfied with my answer.
“Hmph. Where are you from?”
“Haventown. Why?”
“That’s up north, near Clemson, right?” He lifted his eyes to me and I nodded. “Columbia is a good ways from home,” he mumbled with a shrug then looked over the form a bit longer. “Take off your jacket.” He commanded as he tossed my application onto the desk behind him.
“Huh?”
“Take. Off. Your. Jacket.” He repeated slowly, looking annoyed.
“Why do I need to take my jacket off?”
“Listen, sweetheart, you wanna play at this club?”
I nodded.
“Then I gotta see what we’re working with here,” he gestured his hand down my body. “Take off the jacket.”
I gulped before doing as he asked. Keeping my eyes low, I shrugged off my worn denim jacket and then draped it over my arm. He was silent for a moment, too silent, and when I raised my head to look at him, he was grinning.
“I don’t give a shit if you’re a lousy singer; you’ll get ’em in the door. You’re hired. Go to the bar and see Tammy for your schedule.” Then he gave me another long scan from head to toe before shooing me away. I shrugged on my jacket and backed out of the room. I was halfway down the corridor before I spun around and stormed back to the office. I managed to stop just in time to avoid a collision as he rounded the corner. At that close proximity, he towered over me by at least a foot, and boy, did he smell nice. After blinking several times, I remembered my reason for returning.
“So that’s it? You don’t need to hear me play or ask about my previous experience? You just hire me on the spot like that?” I asked, then stepped back to create a little distance. Those annoying beads of sweat were forming on my upper lip again.
He stared down and scanned my face briefly.
“Darlin, this ain’t the Grand Ole Opry. Either you’ll do well or you won’t.” He shrugged and moved past me. “If the customers don’t like you, you’re out. Doesn’t matter what I think.”
