by Blue Remy
“Oops.” I said, feeling like an idiot as heat rose to my cheeks, aware that my embarrassment had just become obvious.
H chuckled awkwardly before his attention was pulled to someone shouting over by the pool tables. He mumbled something about needing to see what was going on over there and walked away.
Deciding that I’d spent more than enough time being polite, I said my goodbyes to Tammy and headed through the kitchen which was the way to the back lots were employees parked. I step into the empty corridor and reached for the door handle when I smelled that deliciously familiar scent. I spun around knowing those all-consuming eyes would be there waiting. Before I could react, his mouth was on mine.
The kiss was just as good as I remembered. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my breasts against his chest. In my foggy mind, it felt like we were moving backward but I didn’t care to break our connection to look around.
When my back hit something solid, we stopped moving then there was the soft click of a door closing. The place was dark and I could smell lemon scented cleaner which I thought meant we were in the janitor’s closet. All alone in the quiet darkness, our kissing intensified. He cupped the back of my head with his hand as he pulled one of my legs up against his side. I wrapped my arms around his neck and raised up on my toes to get closer.
As his hand stroked the outside of my upper thigh, he murmured against my lips. “It took every ounce of strength I had to walk away from you last night.”
He plunged his tongue into my mouth, again and again. I moaned, following his cadence and rubbing myself against his front until I felt the hard erection straining behind his pants.
“I wanted you so badly.” He said against my lips while his hands moved down to rub my warm center through the material of my jeans. As he groaned, I rocked my hips against his fingers trying to work up enough friction. Moving my hand to his huge bulge, I slid my hand up and down the length as best I could in tandem with the movements of his hand rubbing the junction between my thighs. He broke our kiss with a gasp and unzipped my pants, after slipping two fingers inside my panties, he hissed.
“God, Annie. The feel of you is so... ahh.” His voice trailed off as I rocked myself against his hand. “There’s something about you...”
Feeling emboldened by his words, I pulled down his zipper, freed him then gripped his length firmly. I swirled my thumb over the drops of pre-cum on the tip a couple of times before I began pumping him up and down. He continued working me with his fingers, slipping one then two fingers inside of me while rubbing my clit with his thumb. His mouth can down and devoured mine as my throaty moans grew louder and our movements became primal. Our breaths grew shallow with each touch as pleasure built between us. Grinding my hips into his hand faster as he rocked back and forth, driving himself more forcefully into my tight fist.
He released my mouth and rested his forehead against mine so he could look down between us, watching our hands as we pleasured each other. His lips moved to kiss my throat just as I threw my head back, crying out as the beginnings of my orgasm took over. I barely registered his muffled shouts against my neck as his hardness contracted in my fist and spurts of warm wetness drenched my hand with his release.
My first slightly coherent thought, Wow.
Loud laughter on the other side of the door instantly cut through our lust filled haze.
My next fully coherent thought was: What were we doing? Having a quick and dirty encounter in a cleaning closet? This was Hal. Somebody I wanted to mean something to and yet, things were starting out like all the rest.
The word mistake ran repeatedly in my head.
I put my clean hand on his chest and shoved him with more force than I intended because he stumbled just a little still trying to gather his own bearings.
“Sorry, I’m so so sorry.” I murmured, not sure why I was sorry but saying the words all the same. Stepping further away, I wiped my hand with one of the folded towels on the shelf. Wordlessly he tucked in his shirt and fastened his belt in the dim light shining from under the door. The only sound between us was the rustling of our clothes being put back into place. Feeling awkward and very ashamed, I reached for the handle about to pull it open when H gently grabbed my wrist and tugged me back.
“Wait. I--” He began but I interrupted quickly.
“I... I have to go.” I gave my wrist a strong tug and he released his hold.
“I hope he doesn’t turn out to be another one of your mistakes.”
Mama’s words filled my head and I felt like screaming. For once, just once, I wanted to get something right.
Chapter Thirteen
“Annie? What’s the matter?” H asked, stepping up to me. I didn’t speak because I didn’t know how to answer that question. What was the matter with me?
Before he could say something to make this confusing moment any worse, I swung open the door and stepped into the corridor. The cool rush of air was a welcomed treat to my overheated skin. Walking on slightly wobbly legs, I quickly moved toward the ladies’ room. I’d been picking up pretty good speed until I felt his arm loop around my waist and spin me around to face him. His eyes were the color of warm chocolate and still cloudy with lust as he narrowed them on me. Just as he opened his mouth to speak a high pitched voice called from behind him.
“There you are, muffin. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A woman slurred behind us. “I wanna go home, baby.” His jaw clenched several times though he never looked away, like he was thinking about what to do next. I made the first move by snapping out of the trance his eyes held me in.
I broke free from his arms and stepped back to see a pretty blonde looking unbelievably gorgeous in a tight red dress leaning against the wall. The same one I’d seen in the club before, sitting at the table with everyone and hanging on to H’s arm. Even in her drunken state, she could easily be posing in a magazine advertisement for the designer of that dress she was wearing. I’d forgotten all about her and from the look on H’s face, so did he.
“I wanna go home.” She slurred again with a pout as she tried to push away from the wall, only the tip back against it again. Her gaze finally landed on me as she lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow while trying to understand the scene before her. I decided it was time for me to leave before I ended up in a brawl with drunken Barbie right there in the hallway. I rushed into the bathroom but to my surprise H followed me inside.
“Get out!” I shouted and glared at him incredulously.
“Why are you running from me? What the hell is going on?” He demanded as he stepped into my personal space forcing me backward until I was against the vanity.
“Get out!” I repeated a second time, with venom dripping from my voice.
“Why?”
“Your girlfriend is waiting.”
“My girlfriend? Who? Tara? She’s Rich Boy’s sister. We’re… friends.” He winced at the description as soon as he spoke it, I knew what he meant by “friends.”
“I don’t give a shit what y’all choose to call it. Now, will you please leave?” H opened his mouth to speak at the same time Donnie came flying into the ladies’ room.
“What the hell is going on? Whoa! H? What are you doing in here?” Donnie asked while glancing between the two of us, trying to figure out what was happening. Then suddenly a light bulb went off in his head. “H,” his voice was stern. “I need you to get out of here, man. Now.”
H took a reluctant step before looking at me one last time.
“You have it all wrong, Annie.”
I watched him turn his back and leave. All I could do was stand there and consider what he’d said. What did I have wrong? He was with that girl, wasn’t he?
On the drive home, I wondered if I had just watched my latest mistake walk away. When I fell asleep that night, I closed my eyes and wished with my whole heart to be wrong.
***
The next day I called Elizabeth to come and sit with the boys while I searched for a new place t
o work. There were too many reasons to count why I couldn’t go back to the Jumpstart. The main and most important one was Hal. Even if Tara wasn’t his girlfriend, he had something going on with her. It was obvious the time we’d spent together and the kiss we shared wasn’t enough for him to cancel plans with other women. He didn’t owe me anything and I was well aware of that.
A month ago, I might have been okay with the situation but that had changed. I couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes. I’d been given a second chance to do things the right way and I wasn’t going to waste it. The next man I let into my bed will have to want to be my husband. Not someone looking for a good time. No, he has to be looking to spend a lifetime with me.
Chapter Fourteen
Two months later...
“Good night, y’all!” I called as I turned the lock to the front doors of McCray’s Market.
“Night, Annie.” Two checkout girls who’d worked the late shift with me called back as we parted ways in the parking lot. McCray’s was the place I’d been working for the past couple of months. It was a small, high-end grocery store in a fancy part of town. Not my ideal way to earn a living but the pay was decent. I got to spend time with the boys in the mornings since Elizabeth had early classes. We arranged for her to come over in the afternoons so I could work, and on nights where I scheduled a singing gig to supplement my modest paycheck.
I hadn’t been working at McCray’s long before an opening for assistant manager became available. The owner liked the way I handled the customers and motivated the rest of the staff, so he offered me the position. I happily accepted it, because it meant more pay.
Money was always tight but I had what I needed to get by. My boys were happy which meant I was happy. Well, almost.
I cranked up my car and started the drive back home with a mixture of excitement and dread.
Hal would be there. He was usually the one to bring Elizabeth back and forth to my house. He had tried to talk to me several times since that night in the bathroom but I wasn’t ready to listen. I needed to create distance and clear my head of men. I had my kids to focus on and that had to be my priority.
That still did not stop him. A week after our cleaning closet encounter, both boys had been running fevers. Elizabeth and I were taking turns caring for them while I went to work. After a couple of days I’d made a late night decision to go to the doctor, and Hal showed up at my door ready to help. I was a relieved mess as I threw my arms around him. I never even asked him to come, he was just there. As if he knew that I needed him. Sometimes being a single mother was hard and having another person there to share some of the load made all the difference.
“I’m not the bad guy you think I am, Annie.” He said quietly as we sat beside each other in the emergency room waiting area, each of us cradling a sick child.
“I know.” I whispered, not able to think of anyone else I would rather have there with me. “I’m glad you’re here, Hal.”
“Anything for you, darlin’.”
It didn’t take long before he switched his strategy to silent persuasion. Sometimes when I left for work, I would find him with the boys in the front yard. He was teaching my oldest how to throw a football while my youngest ran around them pretending to play along. The kids had also taken a liking to the Camaro. As soon as they heard the rumbling outside they would run to the window.
He was getting harder and harder to avoid, especially after Christmas. I’d been struggling to come up with enough money to buy presents for the boys. I didn’t have to say it, but I’m sure Elizabeth knew my situation especially when I didn’t have anything under the wilted tree I’d rescued from the Dumpster behind the tree lot. It didn’t look that bad after the kids and I decorated it with popcorn on a string, bright red ribbons, and plenty of colorful lights.
The boys, especially the baby, were too young to understand Christmas but still woke up every morning expecting to open presents.
“No, babies.” I’d say. “It’s not Christmas yet.”
“When?” They’d ask.
“Soon.” I’d reply, all too aware of just how soon.
By Christmas Eve, I’d managed to get a few toys but nowhere near what I’d hoped to have for them. Either way, it would be a special day. Christmas in our first home; not a motel room, a tiny bedroom in someone’s house or the backseat of a car. I was baking pies, cooking a big turkey and making all the fixings. Everything I remembered growing up. I might not be able to afford much but I could cook. Dinner that night would be made with love.
I was sitting on the sofa sipping a hot cup of tea and flipping through a cookbook as I planned our holiday feast for the next day. Outside the rumble of an engine grew louder as it approached the house. I didn’t even need to guess. I knew who it was.
After a light tapping on the door, I opened it and saw Hal standing there with several shopping bags and two rolls of colorful wrapping paper tucked under his arm. I stood there staring at him, stunned.
“Well, I’m not that good at wrapping present so I thought it might be better if you did it instead.” Then he walked past me and set everything down in the middle of the living room.
“Hal, I... how...why did you...?”
“Shush, woman.” he said then smiled softly down at me. “I did it because I can.” Tears began to spill down my cheeks and he reached up and gently wiped them away with his fingertips. “And I like seeing you happy.”
I closed my eyes and rested my face against his palm. There was a light brush of his lips against mine, and then he was gone.
It really wasn’t fair. I’d had my mind set on finding someone who was good for me and all roads kept leading back to Hal.
When I got to the bottom of the bag, I saw a small awkwardly wrapped box with my name on it.
Not fair at all.
Chapter Fifteen
When I pulled up to the house the lights in the boys’ bedroom was still on. Glancing at the fancy watch H had given me for Christmas, I smiled as I remembered the night I lied about the battery in my old one going dead. I wasn’t sure if he believed me, but the gift was thoughtful…and gorgeous. The time was eleven o’clock. The boys should have been in bed hours ago. I hoped one of them wasn’t having a hard time going down for the night.
As I dragged my bone tired body from the car, I searched my mind for a home remedy to help an overly tired child relax enough to fall asleep. After turning the key in the lock, I pushed open the front door and stepped inside.
“Elizabeth?” I called out after noticing the living room was empty. When there was no response, I tossed my keys onto the side table and headed to the back bedroom.
“Hey, Annie Bananie.” I stopped dead at the sound of that voice and my blood ran cold. Only one person called me that. “Did ya miss ole’ Jimmy boy?”
I turned around and faced the man I’d tried to kill. “I have one of those restrainin’ orders against you, Jimmy. You can’t be here.” I said, trying to suppress my panic. His dark blonde hair was so dirty and greasy that it was a dingy brown. He was skinnier than I remembered with bags under his eyes. I’d never seen him look so bad.
“That restrainin’ order can kiss my ass. I came to see my kids,” he stepped forward from the darkness of the kitchen with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. “My. Kids!” Jimmy repeated much louder and stressed each word by thumping a fist against his chest with his free hand. After darting a glance down the hall, I saw the boys’ bedroom door was shut. I had no idea what to make of it and it scared the shit out of me.
“The boys? Are they okay?” I asked with a shaky voice, my mind racing over how to handle the situation. The phone was hanging on the wall behind Jimmy, I just needed to figure out a way around him so I could call the cops.
“They’re fine. Ain’t nobody gonna harm them.” He waved me off with an uncoordinated hand.
“Elizabeth?”
“Sent her home.” He sent her home? I knew she didn’t have a car. “I told her everything was just fine
now that Daddy was here. I tossed her a few bucks from your stash in that coffee can and she left.” He brought the bottle up to his mouth and took a long swig of liquor. The bastard found the money I was saving for rent. I was guaranteed to find that can empty.
My thoughts shifted to poor Elizabeth. She must have been terrified and confused. There was a store with a pay phone about a quarter mile up the road, I hoped like hell that she’d already made it there and called for help.
“What do you want, Jimmy?” I asked and straightened my spine. The old familiar feelings crept their way back in and I was preparing myself for defense. It was the only way to be around him. My chest started to tighten as my heart rate quickened, beads of sweat began to form on my upper lip as I clenched my fists to my sides. He still had the bottle to his lips and drinking so he didn’t respond. “What. Do. You. Want?” I repeated as my temper began to seethe.
“I wanna know if you’re done with this hissy?”
“Hissy?” I stormed around in a circle. “Jimmy, you choked me until I almost passed out! I would say this is more than a hissy fit.” Grabbing the cast iron skillet that night as he was dragging me down to the floor and cracking him over the head with it saved my life.
“That’s what we do, Bananie,” he shrugged and stepped forward on wobbly legs. “Don’t mean I don’t love you.” His statement made my skin crawl. I didn’t want to be loved like that.
“You need to go.” I walked to the door and was about to pull it open.
“You don’t want me ‘cause of him?” Jimmy growled into my ear as he trapped me against the door with his body, my back against his chest.
“What?” I sputtered. “What are you talking about?”
“Him. The motherfucker with the Camaro.”
Hal? Was he talking about Hal?
“H-how did you…?”
