by Blue Remy
“No, you always wanted me to envy you, but the truth is I’m just fine where I’m at. I love my career. I have a nice apartment I’ve tailored to me, a best friend who always has my back. What’s there to look to you and envy? Your rail thin frame you constantly deny yourself to keep? Or maybe the carefree lifestyle that still has you living at home at what? Twenty-six? For all that man chasing, and luring in you do, I haven’t seen a ring on your finger yet. So, who’s the desperate one?”
“You little bitch,” Kenna hissed stepping forward.
“I thought we just established that I’m not little. You might want to watch how you come at me.” Marlee stared her down, daring her to make a move. “For the record, I like Ren. He treats me well, never lies, and keeps me satisfied. This isn’t a fling or a desperate attempt at keeping a man I know loves the road more than me. That was a tiny window into what’s been going on for years. He’s the one pushing the publicity issue. That’s right, a man is fighting for me and proving his worth.”
“It’s never going to work out. That man isn’t one to be tied down. He doesn’t want babies, marriage, and growing old. It’d bore him to tears.”
“Funny that you believe you know him better than I do,” Marlee said, refusing to engage.
“Oh, I do,” Kenna said.
Marlee threw her head back and laughed. “Funny, he told me a story once of you in the bar he and the boys own. Do you want me to go into details?”
Kenna glanced away.
Marlee knew she was blushing under the rich mahogany skin tone.
“I came here to try to warn you, so you could save face. Now I think I’ll enjoy watching you crash and burn,” Kenna said.
“You know, I never understood why we had to be enemies, Kenna. What is this animosity you hold for me, huh? I’ve never been in your lane. I like books, all forms of geekery, and baking. It’s clear, there’s no real competition. We’re on two different planets, and I’m okay with that. Why aren’t you?”
For a moment, Kenna’s walls lowered.
Marlee instantly became privy to a world full of pain so poignant she was stunned.
“You know nothing about me,” Kenna finally answered.
“Yes, because you never wanted me to,” Marlee replied.
“I’m out of here.” Kenna stalked out.
Her appearance and leaving left Marlee more confused than ever. She acted so wounded and wronged. Why? When she was always the one out for blood? Flummoxed, she closed the door behind her sister and scratched her head. Sometimes, life made one’s head hurt. She locked the door, and her phone rang. And it begins. She walked over to the landline. “Hello?”
“Marleen Marie Hurst…have you lost your mind?”
“Hello to you too, Mother.”
“No. Don’t you Mother me.”
“Okay, Frances.”
“You think you’re so damned smart! What the hell happened today? My phone hasn’t stopped ringing. You were accosted by that—that—hoodlum, and then you leave with him?”
Her shrill voice made Marlee flinch. “Ren is a successful business owner.”
“Huh, you mean that den of sin?”
“It’s a bar, and a car garage, not a bevy of strip clubs,” Marlee said rolling her eyes.
“Oh, I’m sure the criminal has that, too. Who knows what illegal activities he has going on under the table. And don’t think I didn’t realize you avoided my questions. Since when is he…Ren into you?”
“Do you honestly want the answer to that?”
“Little girl, you are not too old to get your ass spanked.”
Marlee held back the perverse comment dancing on the tip of her tongue. It would only make things worse. “Listen, Mom, this isn’t new. We’ve been off and on for years and kept it to ourselves. He did this today because he wants to go public and get serious. He treats me well, always deals in truths, and makes me happy. That’s all you need to know.”
“Oh, my God, you’re involved with him.”
“I love him, Mom. Unless he screws up badly, he’s not going anywhere. So, I suggest you get used to it. Whispers, stares, and small town gossip never bothered me much. It won’t start to now.”
“You’re so selfish. Think of what it’ll do to our reputation.”
“I imagine it’ll have everyone clamoring for information. You’ll be the most popular woman in town, up to your ears in hosting parties, and concerned friends dropping by. You should be in heaven.”
Her mother huffed. “How can you talk to me like that? This isn’t funny.”
“No, it’s not. You’ve been after me for years to get a man and settled down. I’d think you’d be happy.”
“Not with someone like him!”
“Sexy, older, and successful? You’d rather I get a boy who has yet to figure out who he really is or what he wants in life? So I can be a victim of the sixty percent who end up divorced in the first five years.”
“You and your facts. They don’t protect you from reality. You’re in for a harsh wake-up call. There are things we do in this town, and things we don’t. You’re doing more than rocking the boat, you’re capsizing it.”
“I wonder if you’ll admit what bothers you most. The fact that he’s older, or the fact that he has a past. Which doesn’t define who he is now by the way. People are more than the mistakes they make in their youth. Especially people who had it as hard as he did.”
“Hah. Is that what he told you? I figured you to be smarter than that.”
“No, mother. That’s what I observed. But let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Is it the fact that he’s white that really burns your toast?”
“W-what? No, of course not. Why would you think something like t-that?” her mother sputtered, doing her best impersonation of a woman appalled.
“You’re the one going on about what we do in town, and what we don’t. It’s not lost to anyone how segregated we are. This is the heart of Kentucky after all. I guess the color lines shouldn’t blur just like people from different sides of the tracks should stick with their own.”
“I never said that.”
“You really didn’t have to. Don’t think I didn’t read between the lines of your accusations.”
“I don’t know why you have some sort of vendetta against me. I tried with you, but I couldn’t relate. You are your father’s child through and through.”
“Thank God for that. Otherwise, I might be a hot mess like Kenna. Pretty on the outside, but completely screwed in the head.”
“You are so spiteful today.”
“No, mother, what I am is tired. Tired of being punished for not fitting into your mold of what a good, southern girl should be, and how she should behave. You made it clear you didn’t like who I was from a young age. I used to try to fit in to please you. Now, I just want to be happy.”
“At the expense of everyone else?”
“This will not affect you. We don’t live in an Amish community. You won’t be shunned and sent to fend for yourself until you’ve earned good standing once more. I hope in time, we can both just learn to love the other as they are and where they are. Until then, I simply ask you keep your negative opinions to yourself. We’re figuring this out. Once I know something for sure, I’ll let you know.”
“Are you dismissing me?”
“No, I’m making a stand. I love you mom. I’ll never disrespect you. I know how hard you and Daddy worked to provide for us, and raise us right. What I can do is respectfully disagree with your beliefs and go my own way. What does Daddy say?” she asked.
“Like he ever denied you anything you wanted,” her mother replied.
“Did I want so much?” she whispered, hurt by her mother’s attitude.
“Always had to be different and hard to understand. Your desires, style, and quirks all come together to make up a child I feel is foreign to me. How could none of who I am seep into your genetic make-up? I think this will end badly. Then what?”
“Then I�
�ll know it wasn’t meant to be. Things are changing. We’re not in the fifties when women had no choices. If a man was intimidated by my past, he’s not the one for me anyway.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Because it is. I’d like to have a companion if he’s the right one. If not, I’m okay by myself. I’m only twenty-five. I have my entire life ahead of me. I knew this might upset you, and I’m sorry that it has. But I wouldn’t regret my time with Ren for a second. One day soon, you’ll meet the man behind the rumors, and I hope you can keep an open mind and judge him on his own merit.”
“I hope so too,” her mother whispered.
“I’m going to now, Mom,” she whispered ready to distance herself even further from the woman she never understood.
“Goodbye, Marlee.”
The disconnection felt like a knife cutting a chord. This showdown had been a long time coming, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
***
Ren
The minute I walked into the shop the catcalls started.
“Where’s M? Did she let you know about yourself and send you on your way?” Shaun asked laughing.
Ren flipped him the finger.
“That was quite a display from our former shy girl,” John said.
“Yeah, she wasn’t happy. But I can be persuasive. She’s willing to give this thing a shot.”
“Good, don’t fuck it up this time,” Bobby said sliding from underneath the car he’d been working.
“I’m going to try, brother,” Ren said.
Bobby grabbed a rag and began to wipe his hands as he got to his feet. “Step into the office?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you there,” Ren said walking over to one of the boys he was teaching the trade. They made a point of hiring and training troubled youths trying to get their shit together. It made him feel like he was giving them a chance he never got. “Hey Jackie Boy, can you get my old lady’s car from the fair and drive it to her place?”
The young boy smirked. He’d been around the shop for the past two years being groomed for a managerial position. He knew damn well who Marlee was and where she lived. It was part of how they managed to keep things on the hush-hush. “Yeah I got it, boss. Keys in the mailbox?”
“Yep.” He tapped his fist on Jack’s shoulder. “Thanks, brother.” He walked into the small office and closed the door.
Despite being older than Bobby, his friend had become a mentor of sorts. He had a relationship that was thriving, and he’d walked the same hellish path Ren had. It gave him hope.
“Where you straight up with her?” Bobby asked.
“Always am.”
“Good. Now how about with yourself?”
“What do you mean?” Ren asked, shaking his head.
“From what I’ve been hearing you were determined to leave her alone. Why the change of heart?”
“Because I realized someone else could easily slip in and take what I’ve come to think of as mine, and I don’t say that in an egotistical way. Me and Marlee work. We get each other. We click. I know how rare that is, especially for a man like me. I always assumed we’d come back together like we always did. But that last time, she was serious. She’s changed man.”
“Yeah the slap heard around the world proves that.” Bobby snickered.
“Yeah, you’re never going to let me live that down are you?” Ren asked.
“Fuck no.” He laughed. “It’s good, though. I always thought she let you get away with too much. Men like us have to have a line to toe.”
“Speak for yourself,” Ren mumbled.
“Uh huh. Trust me. Boundaries clearly drawn out are a good thing. It’s like an idiot’s guide to a happy relationship.” Bobby paused. “You know you’re going to have to come clean about your past, right? Even the gory bits.”
He frowned. “Why?”
“Because it’s the only thing that ever held you back from commitment. Once it’s all out in the air, there’s nothing to make you stumble. I know it’s not easy. We grew up with the mentality that you don’t nark, and you sure as hell don’t air your dirty laundry. But you can’t keep letting him win, man.”
“How is he winning, huh? He’s locked up somewhere dying slowly in a cell day by day, and I have two successful co-owned businesses.”
“And a big empty house. A girl you can’t convince you’re staying put.”
Ren speared his fingers through his hair and growled. “I don’t need you playing shrink.”
“Listen, man, I’m not. I’m on your side. You know that. But this is real talk. I’m trying to tell you how to get what you want. What I think you’ve been wanting but found terrifying for the past couple of years.”
“She was too young.”
“When you first started, maybe. But that excuse got old a while back.”
Ren balled his fists. The old Ren would trash something or get into it with his best friend. The older Ren was mellower and thought with his head instead of his anger and testosterone. The truth hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, and his past was a bloody wound, coated in salt. It burned like nothing else and never seemed to heal completely.
“Just think about it, all right?”
“Yeah. I’m taking her to dinner tonight.”
“Oh, yeah?” Bobby said, looking impressed.
“I know how to properly date. I just never felt the need to before.”
Bobby laughed. “Your ass is so gone already.”
“What the hell? You’re the one tied down and fathered up,” Ren commented.
“Which is why I know the signs,” Bobby countered.
Ren rolled his eyes. The fact that babies with Marlee didn’t scare the piss out of him was terrifying. This wasn’t a route he ever thought he would travel. Can I really do this? He pictured another man walking with Marlee on their arm and saw red. I have to. “Guess you’re right, cause here I am trying to date for the first time at fucking forty-five.” Ren snorted.
“You’ve never been stupid, Ren. I get that it’s new and uncomfortable. We spent most of our lives after we escaped the hell on earth, doing whatever we wanted. We sowed our oats a million times over, did shit that could’ve gotten us arrested, and pushed our bodies to the limit. We’ve done enough living for one-hundred men. The real adventure is going to be settling down. It’s the next step.”
“How were you so sure?” Ren asked.
“Because in all that I’d done. I still hadn’t found the one thing I was looking for.”
“What was that?” Ren asked.
“Love, acceptance, a chance at my own family. Though, I didn’t know it at the time.”
“And was it worth it?” Ren wondered, eyeing his friend skeptically. Airing all your secrets and risking your heart?
Bobby glanced at the ceiling and let out a deep breath. “Yeah, and if I hadn’t done it, wondering what if for the rest of my life would’ve eaten me alive.”
Bastard always knows just what to say. Ren nodded. He got the picture.
***
He drove them to Roy’s. The local Mom and Pop’s was set on the river, and boasted the best seafood.
“You remembered, this is my favorite place,” she said softly.
“I listen and retain when you talk. I like the things you say and who you are. Us not working was never about that.”
“No?”
He cut the engine and turned to meet her curious gaze.
“Then what was it about?”
His throat went dry. “We’ll get to that before it’s all said and done. But not tonight. Give me a few more dates. What I have to reveal isn’t something I’ve talked about in years. It’s a part of my life that damn near found me buried six feet deep. It’s never been about anything to do with you. It’s the fact that you’re way too good for me.”
“What?” She snapped. “Are you kidding me? I thought we were past this, Ren? Is it the age?”
“No, but it’s something to consider too. When you’re thirty-fiv
e, I’ll be fifty-five.”
“As long as you’re still putting it on me and keeping yourself healthy the way you are now. It’s not going to matter.”
He chuckled. His girl always had an answer for him when it came to doubts about longevity. Her persistence was the reason he’d agreed to start up with her in first damn place.
***
Past
He’d been tossing them back at the bar and observing the crowd. The bar had been open for six months and was doing better than either he or Bobby had anticipated. They often sat in and observed to make sure the staff was up to par, and the customers were enjoying themselves. It was how they kept the edge over the competition. Despite the town’s small size, they had plenty of bars and pubs to choose from.
The girl across the bar in the red and black plaid shirt winked at him.
He smirked at her boldness. She couldn’t be more than twenty-one with her fresh face, clear skin, and an air of innocence he’d never possessed.
She turned back to her friend and whispered into her ear.
It flattered him. He was getting closer to middle-age every day. But the young girls loved a bad boy. They wanted him to slap their ass, pull their hair, and fuck them within an inch of their life before he sent them on their way. Who was he to deny them?
She got up from her stool, and he pretended not to watch her from the corner of his eye. When she stopped beside him, he couldn’t help but be impressed. She hadn’t seemed the type approach a man. Maybe I read her wrong.
“Hi,” she said.
He turned his head and grinned. “Hi, yourself.”
“How about I buy you a drink?” She arched an eyebrow.
He threw his head back and laughed. “I like you…”
“Marlee,” she said.
“Marlee.”
“Good, that makes this so much easier. I didn’t catch your name.”
“Ren, but I think you know that.”
“Hmmm, you know what they say about assuming, Ren. It makes an ass of you and me.”
His lips quirked upward. “I’ve heard that a time or two, Marlee,” he said rolling the e’s.
