'Possibly because she 'knows in her heart that that's the only kind of life she could make a success of. She isn't very clever and she isn't beautiful. She could never even begin to compete with you in a career, but with a marriage she'll have beaten you already/
Sara stared. 'Are you trying to tell me that Nicky wants to get married just to spite me?'
Veronica laughed. Good heavens, no! But I think she could very well feel that she's found someone she could love and who would be content with her, someone she's afraid she might never find again. And you're the one who's standing in her way. Think about it,' she added, and then changed the subject.
And Sara did think about it, long and hard. She phoned up the local garage and arranged to hire a car for the rest of the day, then she drove herself deep into the heart of the countryside and parked high up on the Kirkstone Pass road where she could sit and look at the stark beauty of the view. It had never occurred to her that Nicky might resent her success in business, or the way she looked, come to that. She sat and brooded about it for a long time and inevitably her thoughts also dwelt on the accusations that Alex had made. She felt bewildered and confused. But what was the point of all this soul-searching? The fact still remained that Nicky was too young. And if she wanted to marry out of jealousy then it was all the more reason to stop her, surely?
That point she settled in her mind, but then came the harder question: was she bitter about Nicky having inherited so much money, as Alex had accused her? Did she want to make Nicky fight for things just because she had had to fight for them too? Numbly she gazed out of the window, eyes unseeing. She twisted the idea round in her mind, seeing it first one way then the other. But she still hadn't come to any conclusion when she started the car again and drove down the twisty road into Ambleside to stop at a restaurant for a meal. It was busier here, the town thronged with early holidaymakers who gathered outside the souvenir and craft shops, their windows crammed with ornaments in green granite and packets of Kendal mint cakes, or took photographs of the tiny stone house built on a bridge that spanned the beck that ran through the town.
She took her time over the meal, deliberately not hurrying so that Nicky would have a chance to have a long talk with Veronica. It was obvious that anything that Sara tried to do would only exacerbate the situation and she fervently hoped that the older woman would be able to have a calming influence and perhaps make Nicky see a little sense. So after dinner she window-shopped for a time and then went into a hotel to while away an hour by having a drink in the bar. Being a woman alone brought its 'usual range of looks; speculative ones from the men who wondered if she was on the game, and resentful or pitying ones from the women.
Picking up a magazine, she flicked idly through the pages until she was interrupted by a well-built, middle-aged man. He addressed her with a knowing smile, 'Hallo there. All alone? Let me buy you a drink and join you.'
He hadn't lowered his voice at all and Sara could almost feel the ears pricking up around her. She gave him-the standard brush-off. 'Sorry, I'm waiting for my boy-friend.’
The man looked at her indignantly, then took himself off and the chatter resumed around her. But now there weren't any more speculative looks. As long as they thought she had a man somewhere around it was all right; they knew where they stood and accepted her as one of them. It was all so darn hypocritical that it. made her clench her teeth in anger and after five minutes she threw down the magazine and walked out. Whether Nicky had finished her cosy chat or not, she wasn't going to hang around any longer.
CHAPTER FIVE
It was after nine when Sara pulled into the driveway of Appleberry and parked the car alongside Alex's Aston Martin. She noticed that the reflector had been replaced and a slight dent in the wing straightened oat. She must remember to ask him how much it cost so that she could pay him. She certainly didn't intend to be in debt to him, she thought grimly. As she locked the car, the front door opened and Alex came out and down the steps.
'It's all right, I didn't scratch your car when I parked,' she said tartly.
He came towards her, his hands in his pockets. 'I see you're in your usual charming mood. Where did you get the car?'
'Hired it from the local garage. They'll collect it in the morning.'
She went to walk past him, but he said, 'Don't go in yet; I want to talk to you. Come for a walk in the garden.'
Sara hesitated for a moment, then shrugged and followed him round the side of the house. He strolled over to a wooden garden seat and sat down, his legs stretched out as usual and his hands still in his pockets. Sara had, perforce, to sit down beside him.
'Well?' she asked impatiently.
'I had a long talk with Richard today.'
'And?' Sara prompted when he didn't immediately go on. 'Did you make him see sense and persuade him to give up this crazy idea?'
Alex took out his cigarette case and offered her one, but she shook her head. When he had lit his own, he went on, 'Richard's a quiet sort of chap. He doesn't usually show his feelings very much and he's certainly never shown much interest in girls before, but he told me that he's very fond of Nicky and he thinks they'll get along okay together.'
'Fond? Is that all?'
Alex grinned slightly. 'For Richard that's a lot. He isn't the type to go completely overboard for a girl, but I think he really cares about Nicky. And now he's found her he doesn't see any point in not getting married. He's sorry that you don't approve, of course, but he's quite determined about it.'
'And you? What do you think?'
Alex drew on his cigarette and answered slowly. 'I must admit that I have a grudging admiration for him. To be willing to take on the responsibilities of marriage at his age requires a kind of courage and…'
'Or crass stupidity,' Sara broke in angrily.
'Perhaps. But the fact remains that they both know what they want. By withholding your consent you're only postponing’ the inevitable by a few months anyway.'
'In which time either of them could very easily have grown out of it,' Sara pointed out.
'I don't think they will,' he replied shortly. 'I think this is for keeps.'
'Am I to take it that you're in favour of this—this silly teenage crush, then?"
Alex's jaw tightened. 'You can take it that I am no longer against it, yes.'
Sara stood up and glared at him hostilely. 'And just what are they supposed to live on? Answer me that.'
'Richard's parents aren't very well off, admittedly, but his father manages to send him a small allowance every month, they'll have to manage on that, I suppose. Unless you come to your senses and let Nicky have her money now when she needs it most,' he said coolly.
His calmness only served to increase her anger. 'So that's what they sent you out here for, was it? To try and talk me into letting them have the money. Well, it won't work, because there's no way I'm going to let Nicky squander it. The time she'll really need it is when she comes to her senses and wants to get a divorce and pick up the pieces again.' Her voice rose furiously. I won't give way to Nicky, whatever she accuses me of, and I…'
'Is that why you hit her, because she called you a few names? Told you a few home truths?' Alex interrupted suddenly. He was still sitting casually on the seat, but there was a grim, hard look to his mouth, a tenseness in his shoulders.
'Oh, she told you that, did she? She was almost hysterical and I…"
'Really?' Alex stood up and loomed over her so that for a second Sara felt as if she was facing some predatory animal about to strike. 'But she wasn't completely hysterical, was she? Just enough to give you the excuse to take your feelings out on her. You seem to like hitting people who antagonise you. First me, and now Nicky. Maybe it's about time somebody started slapping you around for a change.'
Sara stared at him and said unsteadily, 'Like you, for instance, I suppose?'
'Like me, for instance.' His hands came out and gripped her by the arms, tightening cruelly when she tried to get away. His mouth cur
led derisively. 'But you'd like that, wouldn't you? Using brute force would never subdue you, just, give you another reason for hating me. But maybe there's another way to get through to you.'
He drew her to him suddenly and his mouth closed on hers, his arms imprisoning her as he kissed her with a fierce, bruising intensity. At first she tried to break free, but his strong arms held her close against him and her struggles only seemed to increase the brutality of his embrace. So instead she stood rigidly, feeling his lips warm and searching on hers, feeling his body hard against her own, aware of the sensations he was arousing in her but fighting them down.
When he raised his head at last, her eyes blazed up at him. 'You snake! Take your hands off me! I should have known you were the type to…’
But that was as far as she got before he again covered her mouth with his, and by the time he let her go this time she was quivering with something other than rage. Slowly she raised her eyes and gazed .at his face, shadowed in the darkness. He was watching her with almost detached interest to see what her reaction would be, a slight curl of derisive amusement, on his lips. A feeling of cold rage filled her as she looked at him. To him it was all a game, a way to amuse himself while stuck out here in the country. He would enjoy bringing -her to heel, and the fact that she had disliked him on sight and hadn't hesitated to let him know it would make his victory all the sweeter. Well, two could play at that game.
Lifting her chin, she said disdainfully, 'And just what was that supposed to prove? Did you really think that a couple of kisses was going to make me change my mind? What was I supposed to do—fall head over heels in love with your rather obvious charms? Well, I've news for you, Alex Brandon; as a lover you don't even make the third grade! You might turn on a kid of Nicky's age with that big he-man act, but I advise you not to try it on a grown woman unless you want her to laugh in your face!'
And with that she turned and hurried back to the house, her ears alert for sounds of him following her. But there were none, so at the corner she felt it safe to glance back. Alex was bending his head to lift another cigarette, then he straightened and began to walk slowly down through the garden towards the lake. Sara gave a sigh of relief and hoped fervently that she had squashed any ideas he might have of trying that tactic again, because she knew, with terrifying certainty, that that was one area in which she would never be able to fight him. From the moment his lips had touched hers she had' felt herself powerless against his masculine strength and dominance. It was knowledge that frightened her because she had never before been in a situation she couldn't control. Well, for a few days longer she would have to put up with his company, and she would make dam sure that it never happened again, she resolved grimly as she turned to go inside.
But those few moments in the garden had changed the whole pattern of their relationship. Sara was fully aware of Alex now as a man—and he knew it too, as she found out when she came down to breakfast the next morning and found him drinking coffee and chatting to Mrs Ogden. Deliberately he ran his eyes slowly down her slim figure and then up again to look her directly in the eyes. She lifted her chin and tried to stare back at him defiantly, but despite her efforts she felt herself Bushing beneath his insolent gaze. Then he smiled, a slow sardonic smile that spoke volumes and' left her feeling angry and dispirited. She turned her back on him while she prepared a couple of slices of toast, but the damage was done; she knew now that she had given him a weapon to use against her, and she had no doubts that he wouldn't hesitate to do so just as soon as she tried to cross him again.
That day she took care to keep out of his way, staging in the kitchen to help Mrs Ogden as much as she could. .At lunch time Veronica came down arid this helped to ease the strained atmosphere round the table. Sara realised that Nicky had decided to completely ignore her, and poor Richard looked so unhappy about it all that she almost felt sorry for him. Alex spoke to her politely, but there was an undercurrent of mockery in his tone that continually reminded her that their particular battle wasn't over yet.
I'll take the coffee in, Mrs Ogden,' she offered after she had brought the dishes into the kitchen.
'I'm afraid it isn't brewed yet. I always forget it takes longer when it's full.'
The two women chatted together for the ten minutes or so it took the old coffeepot to finish percolating and then Sara carried the tray along to the drawing-room, her sandals making little noise on the carpeted floor. The door of the drawing-room was slightly ajar and as she went to push it fully open with her elbow, Sara caught her own name being spoken heatedly in Nicky's voice.
'Talking to Sara won't be any use, I tell you. She just ticks you off and tells you it's all for your own good.'
'Then we'll just have to find some other means of convincing her, won't we?' Alex's voice broke in firmly.
'Perhaps it would be best if I talked to her,' Veronica's softer tones joined the conversation. 'Sara really isn't as obstinate as you think. It's just that she doesn't want Nicky to go through the same unhappy experience that she had when she was about Nicky's age. You see she…'
Hastily Sara pushed open the door and carried the tray across to a table, setting it down with a bang. You could have cut the sudden silence with a knife. Richard, his face brilliant red, began to talk quickly to cover it up. 'Oh, coffee, good. I'm really thirsty, aren't you,
Nicky?'
He nudged Nicky in the ribs and she said obediently,
‘Yes, I am.'
Veronica and Alex handled the situation more diplomatically, but it was obvious that Veronica was unhappily wondering if she had heard.
Outwardly calm, Sara poured the coffee, and handed round the cups. To her annoyance a little slopped in the saucer as she handed Alex his. He took the cup but caught her hand before she could draw it away. 'Hand shaking, Sara?.' he asked softly.
-She opened her mouth to make a sharp retort, but then remembered the others in the room so merely gave him a fiery look before pulling her hand away.
Richard and Nicky drank their coffee as quickly as possible and hurriedly excused themselves. Sara waited for Alex to do the same so that she would be left alone with’ Veronica, but he seemed in no hurry, chatting on a number of topics and having a second cup of coffee before at last rising to his feet. 'I promised Mrs Ogden that I'd take her into town to do some shopping today. Would you like to come along, Veronica? Sara?' I’m afraid I'm not quite up to that yet, Alex. But Sara must go by all means,' Veronica replied with her usual smile.
'No, thanks. I'll stay and keep you company.'
When he'd gone, Sara said immediately, 'I believe you want to talk to me?’
'Oh dear, so you did overhear, the older woman sighed. 'I'm sorry if you thought us rude, my dear, but you see I'm afraid I agree with Nicky on this. I think marriage to Richard is just what she needs.'
'And because you've come down on their side you think I ought to change my mind too, is that it?'
'Yes, I do." Veronica's voice was surprisingly firm. 'You can't base Nicky's future on your past. Just because a man let you down it doesn't mean that Richard will do the same. And what good will withholding your consent do? If yon force Nicky to go back to school she won't be able to settle to any work now, and as soon as she's eighteen she'll marry him anyway. And you'll just have destroyed her feelings for yon in the process,' she finished.
'Feelings for me?' Sara said in surprise. 'Nicky doesn't have any. She never has had. All I am is a source of clothes and pocket money and a damn nuisance when she can't get her own way. Just like a parent, in fact/ she added mirthlessly. 'And what if they wake up one morning and find it was all a big mistake? What then?'
'I don't think they will. I think they're genuinely in love with one another.
‘You think they are. Alex thinks they are. But nobody knows for sure, do they? This love thing—you think it's happened to you and for a while everything's wonderful, but then something happens, to kill it or else it just fades away into a nothingness. I'm not completely i
nexperienced Veronica. I've felt like that a dozen times, but it never lasts,' Sara finished on a note of bitterness.
Veronica's hand reached across and touched hers gently. 'That's because the right man hasn't come along for you yet. But he will, and it will be different from anything you've ever felt before, believe me. You've had to wait, but with Nicky it's come almost too soon. But she knows. And you will too, one day.'
Sara looked at her frowningly for a long moment, but then slowly shook her head. 'I'm sorry, Veronica, it's a risk I'm not prepared to take. I can't stop her marrying him in September, but until then she goes back to school,' she said determinedly.
When the others came back she kept out of their way, let them have their conferences, talk about her if they wanted to. She was getting tired of the whole thing, and was worried about taking more time off from her job. Making up her mind, Sara decided that she would leave on Saturday and take Nicky straight back To school. There was no point in staying here any longer, it was only prolonging the agony and upsetting Veronica into the bargain…’
She had intended getting Nicky to herself and telling her this the next morning, but they were woken early by Alex banging on their bedroom door. 'Come on, you two, it's a beautiful day and we're going sailing. Breakfast in half an hour!"
Sara yawned and looked across at Nicky who was trying to get her eyes open. 'Did you know about this?'
The younger girl shook her head owlishly. 'No. Do you think he means it?'
'Yes, I'm rather afraid he does," Sara sighed. 'Come on, it looks as if we're going to be Butlinised today."
But surprisingly she enjoyed the day spent on the sailing dinghy that Alex had hired on Lake Windermere. At first they made a complete hash of things and had to have the correct rope put into their hands by Alex who, it turned out, was a keen sailor and had his own boat at Bucklers Hard. Richard had been out with him a few times so wasn't a complete novice, but both Nicky and Sara came in for a few scathing comments as they hopelessly tangled up the sail or nearly got knocked overboard by the boom. For a while it gave them the common bond of helpless females against experienced males and for once there was no friction between them when they went to a pub for one of the huge 'batch' sandwiches popular in the area.
Sally Wentworth - Liberated Lady Page 9
