Turning, she walked back to Alex Brandon who was leaning against the car, smoking a cigarette, and said in a voice that was just as cold, 'Would you take me back now, please?'
He stubbed out .the cigarette and went to open the door for her, but she opened it herself and got in before he could do so. When he was sitting in the seat alongside, he hesitated before starting the engine. 'Have you made up your mind what you're going to do, Sara?'
Without looking at him she said steadily, 'I'd rather not talk now, if you don't mind. I have a headache.'
'Look, Sara, this has to be settled once and for all. You can't just leave…'
Swiftly she turned her head to look at him, her eyes over-bright. 'As you said; I have no choice. So now that you've got what you wanted, will you please take me back to Appleberry?'
He seemed about to speak but changed his mind and drove them home, in a tense silence. As soon as they got to the house Sara let herself in and went straight upstairs without saying goodnight. Frowningly Alex stood in the hall and watched her go.
Usually she was careful with her clothes, hanging them up or folding them neatly away, but tonight she just let, them lie where they fell, hurrying into her nightdress, instinctively aware that Nicky's figure in the other bed was too obviously still, that she was only pretending to be asleep. So Sara lay there, a houseful of people all around her, and knew that she had never felt so alone in all her life.
CHAPTER SIX
Sara supposed that she must have dozed a little during the long night, but when she crept out of bed at six the next morning, just as the greyness of dawn appeared through the windows, she felt as tired and wretched as if she hadn't slept at all. Careful not to wake Nicky, she went to the bathroom and then pulled the curtains aside to look out. It was raining, the drops pattering against the windowpanes and filling the puddles that had already formed in the driveway. She shivered and quickly pulled a thick sweater over her head and put her legs into the warmth of a pair of cord jeans. She hurried over her hair and make-up, then glanced at her watch. Not yet seven; still too early to phone the garage for a car to take her to the station to catch a train to London. Quickly she packed her clothes into her suitcase, pushing them in anyhow, obsessed with the wish to get away from here as soon as possible.
As quietly as she could she carried her case and bag downstairs and left them in the front porch with her jacket, then she went to Veronica's study and sat down at the writing desk. Her first letter was very businesslike; in it she gave her permission for Nicky to marry Richard French and addressed it to whoever it might concern. The second letter was to Veronica and was harder to write, because-she was very fond of Nicky's godmother and disliked going off without saying goodbye to her personally, but there was no way in which she was going to hang around here until Veronica felt like getting up or seeing her. The thought of writing to Nicky crossed her mind but was instantly dismissed; there was nothing she could do for her sister now other than the step she had already taken of breaking the tie between them completely.
She sealed down the envelope to Veronica, but left the other one open, and propped them up on the mantelpiece where they might easily be seen. It was seven-thirty and she thought there might be someone at the garage by now, so she went out into the hall and dialled the number. After a longish wait a cheerful voice answered and promised to send a car as soon as he could. , '
'Thank you. I'll be waiting.' She put the phone down and turned to go into the kitchen. As she did so she saw Alex standing at the top of the stairs. Sara ignored him, but he ran lightly down and followed her into the kitchen.
'That was a rather early call, wasn't it? Who were you phoning?' he asked abruptly.
Picking up the kettle, Sara filled it and plugged it in before she turned to face him. He looked as if he had got dressed in a hurry, his dark hair was dishevelled and he was wearing navy slacks and a matching V-necked sweater without a shirt. The sleeves he had pushed up and this somehow made him appear even more strong and implacable.
'I'm making coffee, do you want some?'
'No, I want to know who you were phoning. Are you up to something, because if you are I'll…'
'You'll find my written consent to the marriage in ‘Veronica's study,' Sara interrupted him coldly.
Alex looked, at her for long seconds, but she returned his gaze steadily, unemotionally, until he walked abruptly away towards the study. Sara made herself a mug of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it, the fiery liquid warming and reviving her a little. When he came back he was holding both her letters in his hand, the letter of consent he had taken out and read.
'This letter to Veronica! he said, dropping it in front of her. ‘I take it it's by way of saying goodbye?'
Silently she nodded.
'And I suppose that phone call was for a car?'
'Yes.’
He came to sit on the edge of the table, looking down at her contemptuously; 'And Nicky? Have you no letter to leave for her?'
'Nicky and I have nothing to say to each other, she replied with only the slightest tremor in her voice.'
'Did you talk to her last night when we got back?" he asked sharply.
'No, she pretended to be asleep.’
'And now you're going off without a word to her, he said sneeringly. I've thought you all sorts of things, Sara, but I've never thought you were a coward until now.’
Sara's face hardened and she gripped the mug tightly.
‘Whatever you may think, Sara, Nicky needs you now. She's a young girl just entering into marriage and she'll need the advice and help of an older woman to give her confidence, guide her.’
'She has Veronica for all that.’
'Not Veronica, Sara, you. Someone she can turn to when she needs a friend, a confidant..‘
"Aren't you getting a bit mixed up?' she asked sarcastically. ‘When Nicky wanted someone to confide in she went to Veronica and you, not me. And you seem to be forgetting that she knows it all already, or else she wouldn't be in this mess. And as for me—why, I'm just a career-minded spinster, that's all.’
A muscle tightened in Alex's jaw, but he went on, 'Now that you've given your permission they'll be able to get a special licence and be married in just a few days. Surely you can stay until then?'
'No,' Sara finished her coffee and took the mug over to the sink to wash.’
Alex came and stood dose behind her. 'Sara, I know that you've been hurt, far more than I ever thought you could be—last night proved that—but won't you give Nicky even the chance to tell you she's sorry, ask you to forgive her?'
Blindly she looked down at the mug in her hands. Forgive Nicky? When she was so much aware that it ought to be the other way around! Slowly she shook her head. 'There's nothing to forgive,' she said indistinctly.
'And us?' His voice was suddenly harsh. 'Are you going to run away from what's between us, as well?'
With an unsteady hand she put the mug on the draining-board and turned round to face him. He was standing very dose, his eyes cold and steely in his grim face. ‘There's nothing between us,' she said firmly.
His eyes narrowed. 'There is and you know it.’
'No, I don't. It's just something you've built up in your imagination. You can't bear to think that I don't fancy you, so you've convinced yourself that I'm hiding a…'
'Don't you? Don't you really’ Sara? Then why is it that you tremble whenever I touch you?' he asked softly. Very deliberately he reached out and pulled her against him, his eyes never leaving hers, then he put his hands under her sweater on to the bare skin at the curve of her waist. They felt warm and sensuous as they gently caressed her. She tried to force herself to remain unmoved, but as his hands began to explore further her lips parted and her breathing quickened.
Hurriedly she stepped back until brought up short by the sink. 'All right!’ So I admit you're capable of turning me on, but it's only basic chemistry, nothing more. And it certainly isn't strong enough to keep me here
,' she added in a rush, disgusted with herself for letting him see how easily he could make her respond.
'Don't lie to me, Sara. This is more than that and you know it as well as I do. It's been there from the start;-You've been antagonistic towards me right from the beginning because you felt this and tried to fight it. But you can't fight any more, Sara. It's there! And I'm going to make you face up to it and accept it.'
'Accept you, you mean,' she retorted bitterly.
'That's just what I mean. I want you, Sara.' His eyes glinted down at her, dark and dangerous.
'So what?'
'So—this.' He took a purposeful step towards her as Sara raised her hands in a futile attempt to ward him Off, but he merely smiled tartly and caught her wrists, pinioning them to her sides. Briefly she fried to struggle, but he said harshly, ‘I’ve told you, the fight's over. It's too late.' Then 'Oh, hell, what's the use of talking to you?' He released her wrists and pulled her roughly into his arms. his mouth covered hers hungrily, claiming possession, allowing no resistance. Desperately she tried to break free, twisting her head until his hand came up to twine itself in the thickness of her hair and she could no longer move to escape the passionate torment of his lips, searching, demanding a response. She made a little sound deep in her throat and the hand that had been raised to hit him instead sank slowly on to his shoulder and crept up round his neck. His arm tightened around .her and his kiss became even deeper, sending the room whirling around and awakening emotions that were new and frightening. At last, he raised his head, loosening his grip a little, but not letting her go.
Slowly Sara opened her eyes, her lower lip trembling and sensuous. There was triumph in his face as he looked down at her, the triumph of mastery, the knowledge that he had won curving his mouth and lightening his eyes.
'So now we both know what we want,' he said softly. 'Don't we?'
She couldn't bear to see her defeat written in his face and she looked away, not answering. But he was determined to have~ complete victory over her, her full submission.
'Don't we?’ he said again forcefully, his hand tightening in her hair.
Never before had Sara felt so completely defenceless, so weak before the indomitable will and sheen magnetism of the man who held her. Her mind tried out to deny his power over her, but her body still felt his closeness and she was aware of, an intense longing to submit to him, to give herself utterly into his hands. Raising her eyes, she found him looking at her searchingly. She tried to speak, to whisper yes/but her voice V stuck in her throat. She took a breath and went to try again.
Dimly she heard the door open behind them and suddenly the broad-accented voice of Mrs Ogden shattered the silence as she demanded to know what was going on. Alex swore harshly under his breath and stepped back. Dazedly Sara straightened up and stared at the housekeeper.
'Are you all right, Miss Sara? Ee, you look as white as a sheet!' Then in a whisper, 'Has he been doing something he shouldn't? Because if he has I'll'
'No, it's all right,' Sara reassured her shakily. 'Is—is that the doorbell? It must be my taxi.'
There followed a confused five minutes until she was actually sitting in the back of the cab. Alex came to shut the door for her. 'I'll look you up as soon as I get back to 'London,' he said brusquely.
But he was a safe distance away from her now and Sara could function' on a sane level again. 'Don't bother. You'll be wasting your time,' she returned curtly.
He smiled derisively. 'Yon may have been saved by the bell this time, but it isn't over yet. Not by a long chalk!' And then he'd slammed the door and she was at last driving away from his tormenting presence.
At first it felt good to be back in London, in the privacy of her own flat and among the usual crises that cropped up daily in her work. The cosmetics account wanted total coverage in all the women's glossies for a new range of lipstick .and Sara had to arrange for the photographic department to take shots of several different approaches for the client to choose from. It was exacting work that demanded her full attention as she set up the different ideas, but somehow she found it difficult to concentrate, couldn't settle down to give her whole mind to the job as she had in the past. Several times she had to pull herself together sharply as someone appealed to her for a decision or asked her a question only to find her gazing abstractedly into space.
Telling herself that she must be tired after all the tensions of the past week, Sara went to bed early, but this only made things worse because she lay awake and thought unhappily of her sister so far away, turning to others for comfort and help. Inevitably her thoughts turned, too, to Alex, but these she pushed resolutely aside. She had had a narrow escape and it had taught her a lesson. She was fully aware that to Alex Brandon she had represented a challenge; he had seen her as a woman who could get along without a man, and this had pricked his male vanity so that he had deliberately set out to break her; to make her admit that she wanted him. And he hadn't only wanted to make her admit it, he had wanted to take her physically, to have her utter capitulation. He wasn't the first man who had tried it, but he was certainly the first who had come anywhere near success, as she honestly admitted. Abstractedly she wondered why it was that a certain type of man resented the fact that a woman could make it on her own, felt the need to exert their masculinity until they beat you into submission. But at least she'd managed to get away from Alex before he'd won that particular battle, she thought with relief. But still the thoughts kept coming back to haunt her days and to keep her awake at nights. Restlessly she pummelled the pillows and tried to sleep, but it was no good; the memories were there inside her and couldn't be shutout however hard she tried.
Soon, after she got back a letter arrived in Nicky's unformed hand. It wasn't very long and Sara could guess at the difficulty her sister had had in writing it. In it Nicky first thanked her for her consent and told her the date and time of the wedding. Then she went on: 'We're going to be married in the church at Lowmere and Veronica has bought me a dress as a wedding present. I know you're terribly angry with me, Sara, and I don't suppose you'll ever forgive me, but I do wish you'd come to the weeding. After all, you are my sister. And Richard would like you to come too.' Nicky was at an age to enjoy underlining, Sara noted.
Without giving herself time to think about it, she immediately wrote back saying that she would be unable to attend and enclosed a cheque for a hundred pounds as a wedding present. This brought two replies which arrived on the same day; the first a stilted note from Richard thanking her for the gift, the second an extremely terse directive from Alex Brandon: 'If you don't come there won't be any wedding. As the consenting guardian you have to sign the certificate.’
Sara looked at this last letter in consternation. The last thing she wanted to do was to see him again so soon, and she had no wish to see Nicky tied in a marriage that she was sure would turn out to be a disaster. Suspiciously she got her secretary to check his facts, but as far as they could find out it seemed that Alex was right and that she had no alternative but to attend. She bit her lip in vexation, then took herself roundly to task. Was she so afraid of the man that she couldn't spend a few hours in his company without going to pieces? And those surrounded by other people? It took a lot of this kind of talk before she could bring herself to pick up the phone and tell" them she was coming, and in the end she chickened out and told Jane, her secretary, to do it for her, because she knew in her heart she was afraid Alex might answer the phone.
Her car had been repaired while she was away and delivered back to the firm's garage, so she was able to set out very early on the Saturday of the wedding and get well up the-motorway before the traffic became heavy and unpleasant. The ceremony wasn't until three-thirty, so she had plenty of time. Once she overtook a man in a sports car and he immediately tooted her up and tried to make a race of it, but she resolutely ignored him and eventually he turned off at a junction. She didn't want to be late, but even less did she want to be early, so she stopped at a roadside cafe f
or coffee, timing it so that she pulled into the driveway of Appleberry at exactly three o'clock.
Surprisingly, there were several cars already there and among them a caterer's van. Sara reached for the bat she had brought with her, a round one with a slightly curled brim, and using the driving mirror, to see her reflection, swept her hair up beneath it. Then she added a pair of large-lensed dark glasses before she felt confident enough to face everyone. As she got out of the car she heard the sound of voices and laughter coming from the garden, and curiosity overcoming her, she strolled round to see who it was. There were a few people, obviously guests, standing in a group, and on the other side of the garden, sideways on to the lake, there was an open-fronted marquee where two waitresses were busily arranging a buffet on damask-cloth-covered tables. Sara's first feeling was one of astonishment; because of the shotgun nature of the marriage she had expected Veronica, Alex and herself to be the only guests, but it was obvious that quite a large number were being catered for.
While she was still trying to think who all the guests could possibly be, a familiar voice behind her said casually, 'Glad you could make it.'
Sally Wentworth - Liberated Lady Page 11
