by Addison Cole
“Come on, silly girl,” Parker said through chattering teeth. “Once Lacrouxs fall, they never look back.”
“Trust the Lacroux way!” Sky urged. “Take a leap of faith.”
A leap of faith. She remembered what Matt had said when she’d asked how they’d figure things out when he went back to Princeton after his sabbatical. We have to trust that we’ll both know what the right thing to do is when we get to that point.
The girls in the water began chanting, “Jump! Jump! Jump!”
Mira had made one giant leap of faith in her life—when she’d had Hagen. She looked out over the bobbing heads of her smiling friends, feeling like she’d become part of another, bigger family.
Trust the Lacroux way! Take a leap of faith!
She’d never regretted her first leap of faith, and as she and Serena jumped off the pier and sliced through the chipple-inducing water, she thought of Matt and knew she wouldn’t regret this one, either.
Chapter Twenty-One
MIRA WAS SURE she’d been fueled by lust and adrenaline for the past two weeks. It was Saturday afternoon, and they’d come to Pete and Jenna’s house to build Hagen’s raft. She and Jenna were hanging out on the beach with Bea while the guys worked in the yard. It felt good to have some downtime after working day and night since they’d made the decision to push forward with the co-op, and she could hardly believe they’d pulled off the first step and were leaving tomorrow to meet with prospective partners.
Embarking on our next adventure.
The girls had come through with every little detail, giving her more support than she ever imagined possible. And just as Matt had promised, he’d driven Hagen to camp every morning for two weeks, giving her time to do the things she needed to in order to garner interest and prepare. She’d ended up making fifty-four calls instead of twelve, but it had paid off. She’d scheduled five meetings with six potential partners. Luckily, the two in Boston agreed to meet with her at the same time. Matt had made arrangements with his family to fill in for her at the store while they were gone, and Neil had surprised them both by agreeing to it all. She didn’t know for sure, but she had a feeling that might have been because she and Matt were taking on this endeavor together. She knew how much Neil hoped Matt would decide to stay on the Cape and run the hardware store. But she knew Matt had no interest in taking it over. His eyes sparked with excitement when he talked about how much he enjoyed the process of writing. She couldn’t see him giving that up, regardless of how great a team they made—in the bedroom and out.
“They’ve been at this all morning,” Jenna said. “Do you think Hagen will last?”
The raft was a much bigger endeavor than Mira had imagined. Matt had wanted Hagen to experience the entire project from start to finish, and had taken Hagen, along with Neil and Pete, to purchase the supplies earlier that morning. Her little man was eating up every second of being included in guy stuff.
“Definitely. He’s as excited about the raft as he is about our trip. Thank you again, by the way. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. I still can’t believe all of Matt’s siblings are going to help mind the store while we’re gone. That’s a huge relief.”
“Everyone’s excited about your trip and what it’ll mean for Neil’s store. He put his life into Lacroux Hardware, and until you came along, it looked like it might not last after he retired,” Jenna said.
“I can’t imagine his store not being there. He has such fond memories of his wife visiting him there, and all his kids as they were growing up. The store, and Neil, are also a huge part of the community. Guys come in who knew Neil when they were Hagen’s age. I hope we can pull the co-op together. This trip will make it or break it.”
“I bet you have it all planned. If it were me, I’d have an itinerary a mile long, with everything mapped out, from the moment our plane touched down until we set our heads on the pillow at night. Including a list of outfits and accessories for each outing.” Jenna sighed. “That would be so fun.”
“I’ve planned every detail of the meetings, but I’m so nervous about them I think I’ll be lucky to get through them without passing out. If I had to plan a whole itinerary, I might lose my mind. Luckily, Hagen and Matt like to plan. We decided to drive, since it’s only a couple hours between cities. I asked them not to overschedule our days because pressure will make me even more nervous, so they planned the library visits, chose the hotels, and made lists of what they wanted to see in each city. They were so cute looking at all the websites together and making lists, then whittling them down to a reasonable number of things to see. I swear those two are so alike it’s mindboggling. We’re starting in Boston, then working our way down to Rhode Island, Connecticut, and New York, and seeing three of the four libraries Hagen and I had on our list. I just hope I can pull this off. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Mira shielded her eyes from the blazing sun, watching the men working in the yard. Matt was shirtless, his muscles glistening with perspiration, flexing under the weight of the wood he carried over his shoulder. He patted Hagen’s shoulder, and her son looked up from where he sat beside Neil, doing something on the ground. How could she ever have thought she could be careful with their hearts around the man who had owned them for so long?
“You’ll do great,” Jenna said.
Joey trotted toward them and plunked down beside Bea on a blanket. Bea giggled and the pup licked her cheek.
“And as for Matt?” Jenna added. “You’re exactly what he needed. You and Hagen both are. Pete’s been looking forward to today since Matt first mentioned it. It’s been years since they’ve worked on a project together. I mean years. Up until this summer, Matt always spent summers teaching and working on his never-ending list of research papers. I swear that man’s got more published papers than half the professors in his field combined.”
“I’m glad he took this time off. I feel like we’ve been trying not to think about dating since Grayson and Parker’s engagement party.”
“I know. We all know.” Jenna raised her brows. “He’d talked about taking time off before, but he never did it. And then you two met, and wham! He’s here for the summer, and you two went to Nantucket, and you’re leaving tomorrow for your big trip. It’s all so exciting, and you have to know we’re all pulling for you guys.”
Mira couldn’t stop smiling. “You make us sound like a horse race.”
“It’s a love race,” Jenna said conspiratorially. “Heck, Pete had you two nailed as a couple that very first day. But Matt’s the most careful of his siblings. Pete says he’s like their mother in that way. Matt plans and thinks and overthinks like I match accessories to outfits.” She wiggled her toes, showing Mira her pink nail polish, which matched her pink bathing suit and flip-flops. “Everything has to feel right before he’ll make a move.”
Thinking about the last time they made love, Mira smiled. Matt had this way of taking complete control but making every movement feel passionate and oh so good. He sure didn’t have any trouble making a move, and everything felt more than right. It felt perfect.
“Matt and Hagen have become really close. That’s got to make you feel good.”
“You have no idea,” Mira said. She and Serena had talked for an hour last night about how much had changed in just a few weeks. “I was afraid to let a man into Hagen’s life, and Matt snuck under my radar in every way. One day we were friends and the next we were making out on my couch after Hagen was asleep. I’ve never done that before. Ever.”
“That’s how you know it’s real, when you do things you never thought you would.”
“That’s what Serena says, too.” Mira smiled, thinking about their Nair, condom, and lube conversation. “I’m still worried about what will happen after his sabbatical is over.”
“You could always go back to Princeton with him, couldn’t you?” Jenna fidgeted with her bathing suit top, trying to keep her boobs from popping out as she bent to wipe more sand from Bea’s face.
“We haven’t talked about it. We agreed that we’d wait it out and see where we were when the time came, so I try not to think about it too much. I mean, realistically speaking, leaving the Cape would be hard. My brothers are a big part of Hagen’s life, and I could never leave Neil high and dry. Especially if the co-op comes through. But the idea of a long-distance relationship would be hard, too. Especially now that Hagen’s gotten so close to Matt. He’s even confiding in him, which I admit, I’m slightly jealous of.”
“Oh, I wasn’t taking all that into consideration. It does sound complicated. No wonder you guys decided not to talk about it right now. Why get all stressed over something that’s still several weeks away? And I hear you on the jealousy thing. My little muffin does that, and she’s not even old enough to have big issues. But I know when she’s a teenager she’ll come to me, not Daddy, who will probably fit her for a chastity belt before then.”
They laughed, but now Mira was thinking about Matt going back to Princeton. She reminded herself not to borrow trouble and once again pushed those uncomfortable thoughts aside. Then shoved them harder, making room for happier thoughts.
“I think being protective is a Lacroux trait. Matt’s super protective of me and Hagen.” Mira realized Matt had been that way since they’d first met. Even when they took Hagen to the park before they were dating, he kept an eagle eye on him. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad he is. It’s nice knowing he’s watching out for us. And even though I’m a tiny bit jealous, I’m glad Hagen’s opening up to him. Hagen had us both worried for a while when he asked if we thought he was a nerd.”
“Oh no. Was he getting teased again?” Jenna asked.
“We thought so, but when Matt chaperoned Hagen’s field trip last week, a little girl asked if she could sit next to Hagen, and Matt said she looked right into Hagen’s eyes and said, ‘I like nerdy boys best.’” Mira had been so relieved when Matt had texted and let her know, she’d actually teared up. “And when Matt asked Hagen if that was why he’d asked if he was a nerd, he said yes, because he wanted to be one.”
“That’s the cutest thing ever!” Jenna said.
“I know, but it’s too soon,” Mira said. “I’m nowhere near ready for that. Even the thought of giving up my time with my little boy for a girl who will inevitably break his heart is hard.”
Jenna shared her first-love heartbreak story, and as Mira listened, watching Matt work side by side with Hagen, she realized she was smack-dab in the middle of her first true-love story. Second if she counted Hagen, but that was a whole different type of love.
MATT WATCHED HAGEN wind the rope and secure the bottom logs of the raft to the decking lying crosswise over top, just as he’d taught him. He’d never seen a child who paid such close attention to directions, or who had such a long attention span. It was midafternoon, and they’d been building the Huckleberry Finn–style raft for hours. Hagen had helped him choose the logs from a local lumberyard. When they’d gotten back to Pete’s, Hagen had helped measure and mark them so Pete could cut them to equal lengths. Once that was done, they laid four logs across the grass about a foot apart, and Hagen took extra time to ensure the logs were equally spaced.
Hagen was a meticulous child, something Matt could relate to. Neil, like Matt, explained the reasoning behind every step. Matt took a nice stroll down memory lane, remembering the many projects he’d worked on over the years with his father. He’d been more interested in the research and preparation than the actual building, but Hagen seemed interested in both, and his father was soaking it all in. It warmed him to see Hagen working closely with his father and Pete.
Hagen worked carefully securing the decking logs. “How’s that?” He held up the two ends of the rope. His eyes were shaded from the sun with his Princeton baseball hat.
“Perfect. I think you’re a natural raft builder.” Matt tied the ends together, while Pete cut another length of rope for Hagen.
Hagen’s eyes filled with pride. “It’s going to be the best raft ever. Just like Huck Finn’s.”
Pete handed him another piece of rope. “At this rate, maybe you will be able to build a boat after all.”
“I might want to be a boat builder for real when I grow up.” Hagen sank down on his heels beside Matt and began winding the rope around the bottom log, then crossed the two pieces and wound it around the top log. “Is a boat builder a nerd?”
Neil draped an arm over Pete’s shoulder, smiling down at Hagen. “Do me and Pete look like nerds?”
Hagen scrunched his face up, looking the two of them over.
Matt stifled a chuckle and rolled his own assessing gaze over his father and brother. They’d always been there for him, during good times and bad, and he’d missed them with a vengeance these past few years. He was getting used to feeling the emotions he’d refused to acknowledge for so long, and he found himself wanting to feel more of everything. He glanced toward the beach, where Mira and Jenna were playing with Bea and Joey, and his heart felt full. Nothing compared to this—being with family, being with Mira and Hagen, working alongside his brother and father.
Nothing.
Not teaching, not writing, not helping strangers.
Not a single thing.
“Yes, I think you are nerds,” Hagen determined, bringing Matt’s mind back to the conversation. “That’s good, because I want to be a nerd like Matt.”
Pete laughed, and Neil shifted a surprised glance at Matt, who was as shocked as his father. He knew Hagen wanted to be a nerd because a certain little girl with bouncy blond ponytails said she liked nerdy boys best, but to hear him say he wanted to be like Matt was overwhelming. It didn’t matter that Hagen was another man’s son and Matt had no claim over him. Every time they were together, Hagen, like his mother, stole another chunk of Matt’s heart.
“Why do you want to be a nerd like Matt?” Pete asked, smirking at Matt.
“Because my mom says smart boys are the best kind of boys, and she loves Matt. That means he’s a smart man, and I think he’s a nerd because he sometimes wears black glasses that everyone calls nerd glasses. And he likes to read, like me.”
Matt’s eyes shot to Hagen—who crouched beside the raft and began wrapping the rope around the wood again, as if he hadn’t just turned Matt’s world upside down.
“You know what that means, don’t you?” Neil patted Hagen’s shoulder, and when the little boy shook his head, he said, “It means your mommy is a very smart woman.”
“Yup. That’s why I’m so smart.” Hagen went back to working on the raft.
Matt squinted against the sun, peering intently at Mira again and feeling Pete’s and their father’s eyes on him. You love me? Surely Hagen had misinterpreted something Mira had said or done.
He’d been holding back those three words for what felt like an interminable length of time, afraid to confess his feelings while his future was still up in the air. He didn’t want to put pressure on Mira after she’d made it clear that she wanted to go slow and needed to be careful. They’d blown slow to smithereens.
We have to trust that we’ll both know what the right thing to do is when we get to that point.
Was this that point?
Chapter Twenty-Two
THE ROCKY BAY floor felt familiar beneath Matt’s feet, like an old friend greeting him as he and Pete carried the raft into chilly, chest-deep water. Behind them, their father carried Hagen, who was sporting a new blue life vest Matt had bought for him. Jenna and Bea stood at the water’s edge with Mira, who held her phone, ready to take pictures of Hagen’s big event. Her windswept hair framed her face, wayward strands whipping across her cheeks with the warm summer breeze. Her sun-kissed skin glistened in the late-afternoon sun. She bit her lower lip, holding his gaze and looking sexy as sin in a pale green bikini. The excitement and the heat he’d come to expect when they were together twinkled in her beautiful eyes as they lowered the wooden raft onto the surface of the water.
Everyone seemed
to be holding their breath for what they’d deemed Hagen Savage’s First Rafting Adventure. Hagen insisted he was going to write a book about it, and Matt was sure the determined child could do anything he put his mind to.
Matt knew the raft wouldn’t sink, but that didn’t stop adrenaline from pumping through his veins as the raft rose with the ripple of the bay’s gentle waves. He saw Jenna nudge Mira and gesture to her phone.
Mira laughed and lifted her phone, pointing the camera at them, and said loudly, “I wasn’t drooling.” She slapped her hand over her mouth, and everyone laughed.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Jenna teased.
“It floats!” Hagen yelled, pointing to the raft. “Look, Mom! It floats!”
“Of course it floats, baby,” she said. “You built it.”
“We built it!” Hagen corrected her. “The guys.”
Behind her phone, Mira’s smile appeared.
“Remember our raft battles?” Pete asked.
Memories of rafts and water fights sailed into Matt’s mind. “How could I forget? You insisted on putting a sail on yours, which Hunter tried to climb and broke in half.”
They both laughed.
“I remember the broken rafts and the wrestling that ensued after each of those battles,” their father said.
“They wrestled?” Hagen asked.
“Like little monkeys.” Neil laughed and handed Hagen to Matt. “Matt and his brothers were always getting into some kind of trouble. But not Sky. She was too busy doing her artwork.”
They’d tied ropes to each corner of the raft so they could pull it through the water. Pete stood on the left side of the raft holding both ropes. When Neil settled Hagen in Matt’s arms, he joined Pete, who handed his father one of the ropes.
Hagen’s arms circled Matt’s neck. “I wish I had brothers. I want to wrestle like a monkey.”
