Maybe they weren’t.
Maybe they had never made it to Slag Stead. Maybe they had been dead for days. Maybe they had died right after he hung up the phone.
A lump formed in Colin’s throat and he struggled to swallow it back down.
“Listen,” Ervin stammered on, trying to fill the silence that had gone on for too long, “I’m not trying to be cruel. It’s just—”
“You’re right.” Colin shook his head. “I don’t know if they’re still out there. I haven’t spoken with my wife since they swarmed the Boone Bridge.” He could still hear Liv’s voice ringing in his ears. There are fucking zombies on the bridge… People are dying… It could have been me and Elli. The panic in her voice, the sheer unmasked fear, haunted him. And at the time he hadn’t believed her. “But she got away. She got my daughter away.” Colin swallowed around the lump again. “I have to believe they are still out there waiting for me. Otherwise, why else should I go on?”
Ervin nodded.
“But no one has to come with me. You guys don’t owe me anything. And, honestly, I get it. The world has…gone mad. It’s dangerous and we do have a decent thing here. So you can stay if you want, but I have people who need me out there.”
“What about the people who need you here?” Ervin said quietly.
Colin blinked. Their group had swelled in the past six days. The three who had left the mall had turned into five after Rotna and Samuel had joined, which had turned into seventeen as people found their way to the bridge looking to get across. Clearing Thies Farm and rescuing the people trapped there had brought their numbers up to thirty-six.
“I…I don’t know.” Maybe these people did need him, but his family needed him too. How could he abandon his family to help strangers?
The nightmare from a few nights ago bubbled to the surface. Liv’s bloodied face. Elli’s screams.
What were the chances his family was still alive?
“Dinner is almost ready.” Liv smiled, planting a soft kiss on Colin’s lips. “Why don’t you tell everyone to start getting seated? I’ll have the rest out in a minute.”
“What’s for dinner?” Colin asked confusedly.
“Nothing fancy.” Liv shrugged. “Spaghetti and meatballs, those rolls Elli loves with the cheese in them, and some veggies.” Liv cracked open the oven and stepped back as the hot air wafted into her face.
She looked back to him as she pulled the bite-sized rolls out. “Go! I’m hungry and if everyone’s not seated when the food is ready, I’ll start without you.”
“Hey, everyone,” Colin hollered as he spun to walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. He stopped midstride. Samuel, Eric, Ervin, Rotna, and Laura sat around his living room chatting. Alex and Oliver were with them.
“What’s up, man?” Alex asked.
“N-Nothing,” Colin stammered. “It’s good to see you.”
“Is dinner almost ready?” Rotna asked.
“Uh, yeah. Actually, Liv sent me in to let everyone know dinner is pretty much ready.” Everyone stood up and made their way to the dining room. The table there was long, with enough room to seat everyone. Liv had already set Elli up in her highchair and Colin took the seat closest to her. All of the child’s focus was on her fork as she tried to scoop small pieces of spaghetti up with it. Colin leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.
“Here we go!” Liv sang as she brought it a large steaming bowl of spaghetti. “Help yourselves, guys. I don’t want leftovers.” The room filled with chatter and the clanking of bowls and spoons. Colin sat back, watching his friends chatter. He caught Liv’s eye across the table and smiled. She smiled back at him.
As Colin spooned the food onto his plate, he realized how hungry he was. The warm meal might not have been extravagant, but it looked delicious.
“Colin?” Liv’s voice quivered.
“Yes?” Liv pushed her chair back as he looked towards her. Fear filled her eyes as she reached for Elli.
“What’s wrong?” Colin frowned and reached out for Liv. Black webbing snaked down his wrist to his fingertips.
“G-Get back!” Liv’s voice wavered as she slashed at him with her dinner knife. She rose from her chair, pushing Elli’s highchair back and placing herself between him and Elli.
“Calm down, Liv.” Colin stood up, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. He looked to the others for support and staggered back. They sat around the table in their chairs with blank expressions. Blood was smeared across their faces and trailed down their shirts. Scratches crisscrossed their faces. Ragged chunks of skin had been ripped from their flesh.
“Get back!” Liv shouted, more forcefully this time. Almost in unison, seven heads turned towards Liv as the words left her lips. Liv brandish the useless knife in one hand as she unbuckled Elli and picked her up with the other hand. Sensing the tension, Elli began to wail.
The others at the table stood up clumsily, knocking over chairs. Their groans drowned out Elli’s cries.
Liv bolted from the room and down the hall. Colin ran after her. He reached the bedroom door to find it locked. Inside, he could still hear Elli’s whimpering. The others crowded in around him. Their bodies crushed him against the door. Their moans drowned out Elli’s cries. Their fists slammed against the door, shaking it in its frame.
Finally, the door buckled and flew inward. The pressure from the other bodies pushed Colin into the room. Liv sat with her back to a corner, shielding Elli with her own body. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she brandished the flimsy knife.
Colin lunged forward, a growl rising in his throat. He locked his arms around Liv. Colin pressed his lips to hers, a crushing kiss that he had longed for since they had been separated. She struggled against him, her nails racking down his neck and chest.
As he pulled away, she screamed. Blood stained her exposed teeth red, dribbling down her chin from a ragged hole where her lower lip had once been.
The taste of copper washed over Colin’s mouth as he chewed on the remains of Liv’s lower lip as the others dove in for a bite.
Day 8
“If we really want them to progress, we need to get them their own weapons,” Ervin stated bluntly. “They’re going to have to get comfortable with their weapons. Get used to how they work. Carrying them. Shooting them. We also need more ammo, and it couldn’t hurt for us to be better armed.” He looked up at Samuel, Colin, and Eric.
“I still think it would be better to use the guns as little as possible around here. Try to keep things quiet and not draw attention to ourselves, ya know? But it couldn’t hurt to be prepared,” Eric agreed. “We’ve been holed up here for a week now. We don’t really know what’s been going on around us. We should probably try to figure out what’s going on too.”
“Yeah, I don’t like that,” Samuel griped. “We’re so isolated here.”
“We’d be isolated anywhere compared to how connected we were before the outbreak.” Colin sighed. “Unless things suddenly take a dramatic turn for the better, I think that’s the way of things now. We got so used to being able to hear about what was going on everywhere in the world that we forgot how new that really was.”
“So where do we go?” Eric said as the silence began to grow heavy.
“Well, there are a couple of options nearby.” Ervin rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“It really depends on how things have weathered this week,” Colin said. “I suppose everyone has had the same idea to arm themselves, whether they knew what they’re doing or not.”
Ervin nodded. “There are two shops a little bit east of here. That would probably be a good start. “We could check both without having to go too far out of our way.”
“You don’t think the gun stores would have been all looted to nothing in the first day or so?” Eric asked.
“They probably were. It might sound dark, but I’m hoping that the freaks got to everyone before people could clean out the stores.”
“That would mean that the stores
are infested with freaks. I hate to admit it, but we didn’t do so great last time we tried clearing out something,” Samuel stated gravely.
“No,” Ervin conceded. “But we did it.”
“And we lost six people.” Eric started to bristle. “The only ones who walked away from clearing Thies Farm are those of us standing here. By those odds, if we try the same stunt again, only one—or at best two—of us will be left standing.”
The group exchanged looks.
“So let’s not try the same old stunt again,” Colin proposed.
Colin reached up and plucked a ripe apple off one of the tree branches. Before the outbreak, he had loved them. After four days of eating almost nothing but apples, he would be glad to never see another one again. However, it didn’t seem like their diet would be changing anytime soon. He dropped the apple into the bag slung over his shoulder and reached for another.
“I cannot wait for tomorrow,” Rotna sighed, dropping an apple into her own bag.
“Why?” Colin frowned. “I’m not really so excited to be back out in the city again. Running for our lives and trying not to get eaten.”
“No,” Rotna said, reining in her excitement. “I’m not excited about that. I’m just excited not to be stuck on this godforsaken farm. Not to be stuck in the same little building with a bunch of other people.” She sighed, examining another apple before plucking it off the branch. “I’ve just been feeling a little stir-crazy lately.”
Colin nodded. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to get out of this farm for a while.” He hesitated, nibbling his lip before continuing. “I just keep thinking about what it took to get this farm and what it might take to get what we need out there.”
Silence fell between them. They both remembered what it was like to retake Thies. The horde of freaks surrounding them, reaching for them. Colin could still hear the screams of the freaks echoing through his mind. They hadn’t all made it out alive.
Quiet laughter broke through the silence. Colin turned toward the sound. It was uncommon enough now. There was simply too much to worry about. Too much to regret. Too much to fear and little enough to rejoice in.
Laura sat on Eric’s shoulders. The tall man swayed drunkenly back and forth, and Laura shrieked with laughter again as she reached for an apple.
A small smile flitted across Colin’s lips.
“Why don’t we take a break for some lunch?” Colin suggested.
“More apples?” Rotna grimaced.
“I still have a can of refried beans and some crackers we could share.”
“No way!” Rotna’s face lit up, then suddenly fell. “Dear god, I’m excited about some refried beans.”
Colin shrugged. “I’ll eat pretty much anything besides apples now.”
“Truth.”
“Are you guys even working?” Colin teased.
Eric turned to face Colin and smiled. “We’re working.”
“It would be easier to get the apples if you’d hold still.” Laura laughed.
“I’ve got some almonds.” Eric went to a pack that rested at the base of apple tree and fished around until he pulled out a plastic bag.
The group collapsed onto the ground, pulling out what food they had to share. Rotna pulled out a small bag of chocolate and Laura produced some raisins, adding their food to the small picnic. It wasn’t much, but the odd assortment of food was a refreshing change from their apple-heavy diet.
“I would kill for a Diet Coke,” Rotna lamented. The group groaned sympathetically.
“A nice cold Dr. Pepper,” Colin chimed in after washing a cracker down with a swig of warm water from his bottle.
“I would sell my freakin’ soul for ice cream. I don’t even care what kind,” Laura griped.
“Even pistachio?” Eric asked.
“Hey, pistachios are delicious.” Laura pointed at him threateningly.
“They’re too much work for me, and that sounds like awful ice cream,” Eric muttered.
“I said any type of ice cream.”
“Anything cold would be really nice about now,” Colin agreed.
“Really, though.” Rotna wiped a light sheen of sweat from her neck. “There is not enough deodorant for this heat. I’d love a nice warm soapy shower.” The group groaned in agreement.
For the last eight days, they had been using a basin and a washcloth. Colin could feel the dirt and oil sitting on his skin. His hair was slick from too many days of grease, and he was sure that despite his efforts to clean up, he didn’t smell pleasant.
“Well.” Rotna stretched and pushed herself up. “We’d better get back to it or I’m going to start losing steam.” She stifled a yawn.
“I need to stretch my legs and walk a little. We’ll take these back to the store if you guys want to keep picking.” Laura gestured to the bags of apples they had already collected.
“Sounds good to me.” Eric nodded as Colin gathered up the trash from their lunch. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do it with it. It wasn’t like the garage trucks were running anymore, but it felt wrong just to leave it there.
Eric handed him an empty bag and they headed for some of the untouched trees. The orchard wasn’t incredibly large, but the trees provided more than enough apples to feed a much larger group than their own. As much as Colin was getting sick of the fruit, it was nice not to have to worrying about filling their stomachs.
“So…” Eric’s brow furrowed as he thought for a moment about what he wanted to say. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine,” Colin said automatically.
“Really?”
Colin shrugged as he examined the apples hanging from a low branch. “As fine as anyone can be.”
Eric was silent for a moment before continuing. “I haven’t heard you talk about Liv or Elli for a while… You must be worried.”
“Of course I am.” Colin sighed, plucking a few apples from the branches and dropping them into his back. “Honestly, I’ve been trying not to think about it. I can’t do anything from here, and thinking about it is just going to drive me crazy. I mean, I may not ever see them again. I have no idea where they would be if they aren’t out at Slag Stead. They might even be dead—”
“They aren’t dead.”
Colin held up his hand to stop Eric’s reassurances. “Let’s be realistic. They might be. They probably are, but if they are I will never know.”
Eric nodded. The look on his face said he wasn’t entirely happy with the answer, but he didn’t push it any further.
“How are you holding up?” Colin asked.
“I didn’t really have any family to worry about on outbreak day.” Eric shrugged. “I do wonder where my friends are. If they’re alive still. Where they are if they are alive. I guess it’s not so different from what you said. I hope they’re alive and surviving, but I don’t really think about it too much. We’re here and we’re surviving.”
Surviving. That was really all they were doing. Only thinking about what the day might bring. What they needed to get through the next few days. The bare essentials were all they had. Food, clothes, water. Beyond that, everything else was gone. Those were all that mattered anymore. They weren’t living. They were simply surviving.
“Maybe someday we can do more than survive,” Eric interrupted Colin’s thoughts. “Maybe we’ll find that our friends have been surviving the same way that we have somewhere nearby. I guess until then, we just have to hold those we do have close.”
“Speaking of those you have, I’ve noticed Laura has been hanging around you a lot.” Colin stumbled through his words, unsure whether or not he should even broach the subject.
“Yeah, she’s nice. She just has a lot of positive energy. It’s refreshing with all the messed-up shit that’s going on right now.”
“Ya know, I don’t usually pick up on hints, but she is definitely interested.”
Eric stiffened. “I don’t know. She’s not really my type.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean an
ything by it. I just meant…well there isn’t enough to enjoy right now.” Colin regretted saying anything at all. More than anything, he just wanted this conversation to be over. “I’m sorry I assumed—”
“No. No.” Eric let his shoulders sag as he turned towards Colin. “I know she likes me. You’d have to be blind not to notice. It’s just…I’m gay.”
Colin just stared back at Eric for a second.
Eric’s shoulders sagged even further. “I just…I feel bad.” Colin frowned as Eric rushed to explain further. “I’ve been leading Laura on. It’s not right and I shouldn’t do it, but Colin, I’m afraid.” Eric twisted his hands as he begged Colin to understand. “People around here aren’t always the friendliest to people like me. With everything going to hell and the rules out the window, I’m just afraid. It’s not something I’ve ever been very open about. I don’t know why I even said anything. I’ve just felt so bad—”
“Stop.” Colin held up his hand to stop the flow of words, and Eric pressed his lips together. “You don’t have to explain.” Colin could hear Eric release a relieved breath. “Times are scary. For everyone. I can’t imagine what it must be like if you weren’t used to being accepted before the outbreak.”
“Please don’t tell anyone.”
Colin smiled. “It’s not my business to tell anyone.” He smacked Eric’s shoulder reassuringly. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.”
Day 9
Colin rubbed the back of his neck as he looked from one end of the street to the other. He, Eric, Ervin, and Samuel were crouched among cars parked in a dealership’s parking lot. From their hiding spot, they could see the small square Metro Shooting Supplies building. The store had red brick walls topped with a white roof. The large windows were plastered with posters advertising various guns and other accessories.
“Where are they?” Samuel growled, his voice just loud enough to hear.
Death & Decay (Book 2): Divided Page 9
