A Woman Worth Loving

by Jackie Braun

  “Of course I did. Differences aside, you’re my sister. But so much time had passed. I’d gone from being hurt to being angry. And not just angry that you left, but angry that you’d pulled so many self-destructive stunts over the years. Why did you do that?”

  “I guess I didn’t feel like I had anything left to lose,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

  “And now?”

  Audra thought about Dane and Ali and the resort they were soon going to be running together. Their parents had been so happy, so proud, when Dane and Audra had called them with the news. They were planning to come back to Trillium for the summer and Audra couldn’t wait to see them again.

  “I want back what I lost. No, what I gave away. I want to be part of a family. I want to respect myself and have the respect of the people I pass on the street.”

  Family and respect, was that all? No, she realized as her thoughts turned to Seth Ridley. In a short span of time he’d managed to get under her skin but good.

  “I want to be loved,” she added quietly.

  Ali said nothing for a moment, but then her stiffness dissolved and a smile trembled on her lips. Holding open her arms, she said softly, “Welcome home, sister.”

  Their embrace was healing, two halves of a whole reunited at last. Audra reveled in the reunion she had worried might never happen. Oh, she didn’t doubt there would be more squabbles and head-butting in the days ahead. She and Ali would always lock horns. But nothing, she vowed, would ever come between her and her sister again.

  “It’s so good to be back,” Audra said as they hugged. “I love you, Ali.”

  “I love you, too.”

  A few minutes later, once they’d both managed to compose themselves, Ali asked, “About the resort, are you still interested in having me as a partner?”

  “Dane and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Ali’s grin lit up her face and she walked back to her desk. After pulling a handful of thick files from one of the bottom drawers, she said, “In that case I’ve got some ideas I’d like to go over with you guys.”

  Audra grinned in return. “Let’s give Dane a call.”

  Several hours later, Audra, Ali and Dane had hashed out the rough draft of a plan to bring Saybrook’s into the twenty-first century while maintaining its turn-of-the-twentieth-century charm.

  The hotel rooms would be the first to undergo a transformation, they decided, beginning almost immediately after the resort changed hands officially. Carpeting, wallpaper, window treatments, bathroom fixtures and furnishings, everything would be replaced using period pieces where possible.

  For the convenience of guests, the lobby’s update would wait until after Labor Day when the season wound down and the number of visitors tapered off dramatically. Then, over the winter, when Saybrook’s traditionally saw only a smattering of guests, the small lodge and cabins one through twelve would get their facelifts.

  The ambitious plan called for all of the renovations to be complete before the following summer, which most likely meant they would have to pay contractors extra to get the job done. But all three of them agreed they couldn’t afford to proceed slowly. A couple of relatively new resorts on the mainland were already giving them plenty of stiff competition.

  Between now and the grand reopening, Saybrook’s needed to get its name firmly back on the map. It needed to shine up its faded image to its former gilded glory. To accomplish that they needed to work with a public relations firm on a better marketing strategy, and hire a Web designer to make the resort’s lackluster site not only more visually exciting, but more user-friendly.

  As the current manager, Ali had a lot of firsthand knowledge into what Saybrook’s had been doing right as well as what it had been doing wrong for the past several years. Dane, with his background in accounting, had a good handle on the newly formed Conlan Development Corporation’s financial picture and the kind of capital it would take to do what they wanted to do in the time frame allotted.

  Audra had an area of expertise as well. During the past several years she had stayed in some of the finest accommodations the world over. She knew luxury and what it took to attract the people who were willing to pay any dollar amount to enjoy it. Still, Audra got the feeling that she had surprised both of her siblings with the suggestion she made to change Saybrook’s focus slightly so that it had more to appeal to families.

  “Families?” Ali repeated. “The resort has always welcomed guests with children.”

  “I know, and I also know that what we’ll be charging for the rooms won’t have the well-to-do batting an eye. They’ll bring their au pairs to keep an eye on the kiddies while they’re out sunbathing by the newly refurbished pool and hot tub. But I don’t want Saybrook’s to turn into a snob haven. These people aren’t going to go into town and rub elbows with the locals. They aren’t going to drop money at Lefty’s Grill or The Sandpiper Pub, which means they won’t be doing much for the island’s overall economy.”

  “What do you suggest?” Dane asked.

  “I think that while we need to keep a percentage of the rooms for high-end clientele—and that means offering all of the amenities wealthy travelers expect and charging accordingly—we also should make another percentage of our accommodations affordable for average families looking to splurge on a one-of-a-kind getaway.”

  Dane chimed in then. “We could partner with local businesses like Shelly’s Charter Boat Service for fishing trips and the Trillium Marina for sailboat rentals.”

  “Excellent idea,” Audra said.

  Audra’s mind was still whirling with possibilities and her lower back was aching from the hours hunched over the table in the resort’s conference room, when the three of them finally decided to call it a day.

  “What do you say we go out for dinner and drinks to celebrate?” she suggested.

  “Sounds good,” Ali replied.

  Dane shook his head, though. “I’d like to, but I’ve made plans with Julie.”

  “Bring her along. Ali and I won’t mind.” Audra blinked innocently.

  “Right. I can only imagine the kinds of embarrassing family stories you two will pull out of the closet.”

  “It’s not like Julie Weston doesn’t know them all,” Ali said.

  “A man can hope,” Dane replied wryly.

  “Does The Sandpiper still serve the best hot wings this side of Buffalo?” Audra asked as they were heading toward the door a few minutes later.

  “With sides of blue cheese and celery, and a wad of napkins to soak up the tears from your watering eyes,” Dane confirmed.

  “Let’s go there, then.” She grinned. “I’m in the mood for something hot.”

  Audra meant food when she said it, but then she and Ali walked through the pub’s door half an hour later and she spied Seth sitting alone at the bar. Heat took on a whole new meaning.

  He was wearing his usual uniform of faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt, but there was nothing ordinary about the way he looked at her when he turned and saw her enter. His expression was an intriguing combination of irritation and sexual interest. She could understand that. Whatever it was that was happening between them had caught her by surprise, too.

  “There’s your boyfriend,” Ali said, but her tone was not as snide as it had been the night before.

  Even so, Audra felt herself blush. “Seth isn’t my boyfriend.”

  Ali laid a hand on Audra’s arm. “I want to apologize for last night. I didn’t mean what I said about you, Aud. I was just angry that you seemed to be acting as self-destructive as ever. But Seth…Seth seems really nice.”

  Audra chuckled dryly at her sister’s amazed tone. “I believe the word Dane used was ‘normal.’”

  “That, too.”

  “I think I might be in love with him,” Audra blurted out, not even realizing the extent of her emotions until the words had been spoken. Then she felt woozy.

  “Are you okay?” Ali asked, grabbing her arm.

&nb
sp; “Yes…no…I’m not sure.” Audra sucked in a breath. “I think I need to sit down.”

  “There’s an open table in the back. Come on.”

  Audra followed her sister through the crowd, ears buzzing the entire way. Love? Could this really be it? She’d thought she’d found it before, but she’d never felt like this.

  “You still look a little pale,” Ali commented once they were seated. “So, love, huh?”

  “I…I think so. And before you mention my track record with men, let me just say this is different.”

  “How?” Ali asked, but there was no challenge in her tone, only curiosity. And because of that Audra felt safe enough to examine her feelings more closely.

  “Well, I’m not trying to save him from addiction or hide from my own problems by losing myself in a relationship.” She swallowed. “This…this seems to be the real deal.”

  “I’m glad,” Ali said. “Want to invite him over? He’s all by himself and I’m sure Dane won’t mind.”

  Audra took a deep breath. The buzzing in her ears had stopped and her knees no longer felt shaky. And so she stood. “I think I will.”

  Seth had spent a few hours awake in bed the night before, torturing himself by recalling the scene in her kitchen and letting it play out to its natural conclusion had her family not arrived. He wanted Audra, all of her. And for more than a single night. That bald fact felt like such a betrayal of everything he thought he’d been working for. How could he have feelings like this for the woman he’d long considered his enemy? For that matter, was she the enemy?

  He’d decided to avoid her when he rose that morning. He’d planned to forgo their usual walk and maybe lie low for the rest of the day. She made that easy with her note.

  I’ll have to take a rain check on the walk. There’s something I have to do and I’m not sure how long it will take. Sorry again about last night. Looking forward to seeing you later.—Audra

  Now as Seth watched her cross the room he felt that unrelenting sizzle of attraction, and his willpower to steer clear of her began to erode like the island’s storm-battered shoreline.

  “Hello, Seth.”

  “Hi. I see you’re here with your sister. Does that mean you’ve finally managed to patch things up?”

  Audra smiled. “Yes. We finally got the air cleared. I’m sure we’ll find plenty of petty things to fight over tomorrow. We wouldn’t be sisters if we didn’t. But for tonight we’re pretty much in agreement on everything including the fact that we’d like you to join us for dinner. Have you eaten yet?”

  “Actually, I’ve already ordered a burger and fries. It should be out soon.”

  Audra touched his arm. “Join us, please. Dane will be here any minute. We’re celebrating.”

  He shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable because he found the prospect of spending an evening hanging out with not just Audra but the rest of the Conlans entirely too appealing. God help him, but lately he’d grown tired of being alone.

  Even so, he declined her offer with a shake of his head. “Celebrating? All the more reason not to intrude on your family time.”

  “It wouldn’t be like that. Dane is bringing someone. Besides, I…I want you there.”

  “Why, Audra?”

  He saw her swallow, as if she needed to screw up her courage. And when she spoke her simple words touched him more than he wanted them to.

  “I really like being with you.”

  “Why?” he asked again, and this time it was Seth who swallowed hard as he awaited her reply.

  “A lot of reasons, but I guess the best one is that even though I’ll never be like my sister, you take me seriously anyway.”

  And that mattered to her. It really mattered.

  “So, will you join us for dinner, please?” she asked.

  And just as he’d been lost in Audra the night before, Seth found himself once again unable to refuse her.

  Dinner should have been awkward, but amazingly it wasn’t. Ali apologized once again for the things she’d said to Seth the night before. As for Dane, when he arrived with his date, he divided an uneasy glance between his sister and Seth, but then walked around the table to shake Seth’s hand.

  “Good to see you again,” he said.

  “Same here,” Seth replied, and he meant it.

  They welcomed him into their midst the same way Audra had been welcomed home: unconditionally. The only real surprise of the evening came when Seth discovered the reason the Conlans were celebrating. If all went according to plan, they soon would be the proud new owners of Saybrook’s Resort.

  From the conversation it was clear they had no shortage of ideas for how they would run it. They chattered excitedly about their plans for renovating the main hotel and lodge as well as the cottages. Sometimes they talked over one another as they answered his and Julie’s many questions. He knew Audra had to be bankrolling the lion’s share of their endeavor, and yet it seemed clear she was contributing more than money. She had ideas, lots of them, and she offered them enthusiastically.

  Indeed, Seth had never seen her quite so animated. He’d left his camera back at the resort, but he wished he had it with him now. It would be a challenge to capture all of her energy and enthusiasm in the pub’s low light.

  “I was thinking we should name the cottages and the resort suites after some of the big-name Hollywood stars who once stayed in them,” she said.

  “Like the Rita Hayworth Suite and the Jackie Gleason Cottage?” Dane asked.

  “Exactly. I think people will get a kick out of it.”

  “What about one named for you, Audra?” Julie asked.

  Seth watched Audra’s face flush and then she glanced his way. He raised an eyebrow, but let the question go unasked. Then Ali picked up the conversation again.

  “Mom and Dad have an entire collection of photographs that one of the owners gave them when they retired from the resort.”

  “I remember those,” Dane said. “You’d already left Trillium by then, Aud, but Mom, Dad, Ali and I sat around the dinner table one night going through the box. I seem to recall one of Cary Grant sitting on the front porch reading the Trillium Press and another one of Lana Turner walking on the beach in her swimsuit.”

  “And do you remember the one of Donald O’Connor and Gene Kelly yucking it up in the main dining room?” Ali asked. “I think it was taken not long after Singin’ in the Rain came out.”

  “We’ll get them professionally matted and framed and put them up where guests can see them,” Audra said. “It will add to the resort’s sense of history.”

  As Seth watched and listened to Audra, he couldn’t help but recall her history. She had lived large and thumbed her nose at the rules, marrying three times and surviving a deadly attack by her stepson. Now she had turned her back on Hollywood and her wild past, made amends with her sister and started her life over on Trillium. And he was…happy for her. Forgiveness, he thought again. He’d known Audra was seeking it. Now he realized she’d also been earning it.

  In her newest incarnation it appeared she would be a loving sibling, a respected community member and a savvy business owner. In her quest for redemption, she’d wound up with it all, even as Seth had lost everything.

  He surprised himself by wondering if that included his heart. Shaken by that thought, Seth came up with an excuse to leave early.

  CHAPTER TEN

  FOR the second time in as many days Audra woke before dawn. And for the second time in as many days she planned to bare her soul to someone she cared about and then seek forgiveness. The outcome of her effort with Ali bolstered her courage. She would go to Seth. She would tell him who she was—or rather, who she had been—and then she would simply hope for the best. That’s all she could do.

  She showered and dressed casually in a pair of wide-legged khaki trousers and a brown knit pullover, finishing off the outfit with an artfully tied silk scarf. Then she sat on the porch in the cool morning air with her fingers curled around a mug of coffee for warmth,
and waited for the day. Dawn was just starting to drench the horizon in pastels, but the windows of Seth’s cottage were dark yet. He didn’t appear to be awake. After fifteen minutes of debating, she set aside the mug and rose.

  Apparently she had not yet mastered the virtue of patience, and she wanted to get this over with.

  Audra swore her legs trembled as she walked the short distance to his cottage. She sucked in a deep breath before climbing the trio of steps and rapping determinedly on the door. She had to knock two more times before Seth finally opened it. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and stubble shaded his jaw. He wore no shirt, only a pair of drawstring cotton pants that she got the feeling might have been pulled on hastily since he was still tying them as he squinted at her in the doorway.

  “I woke you,” she said. “Sorry.”

  “You’re a little early,” he agreed.

  They both knew it was a full two hours sooner than they normally met for their walk. It was barely light outside.

  “Come on in. I’ll make us some coffee.”

  Audra had already downed two cups while sitting on her porch trying to screw up her courage, but she told him, “I’d appreciate that. Thanks.”

  In the small kitchen she pulled out one of the vinyl-covered chairs from the table and watched him measure grounds into a paper filter. Then he filled the glass carafe with water and added it to the coffeemaker.

  When he finished, he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you hungry?”

  “No. Coffee will be fine.”

  He glanced out the window. “Looks cold outside this morning.”

  “It is.”

  “Do you still want to go for a walk?”

  She licked her lips. “Maybe later.”

  He turned his head back slowly, one eyebrow rising as he regarded her. “And right now?”

  The silence stretched after his question. But it wasn’t silence exactly. Over the coffeemaker’s impolite gurgling Audra could hear birds chattering to one another outside as dawn eased into day. There was something so hopeful about that sound. Something fresh and…honest.