They both mounted and rode home in grim silence.
“Well, Shive, what do you want to do now?” Mahon asked quietly when they were alone once again.
“Have a bath, sleep, eat, take care of the funeral tomorrow. Then I shall begin to count everything we own down to the last penny, the last grain of wheat, the last nail, until I can see exactly where we stand.”
“Good. I always did like counting,” Mahon tried to say lightheartedly, though Shive could see the effort it cost him.
“One day at a time, eh, Mahon?”
“I won’t let you down, Shive. I know I’m not the man Ernin was but--”
“I’m glad you never were, Mahon. For that I shall always be grateful. Ernin was a great soldier and warrior, but you’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. With so many excellent qualities that if I began to name them all you’d get a big head in no time. We’ll have to find you a good wife worthy of you.”
“And you, Shive. Can I help you find a man worthy of you?” he teased. He watched her face fall.
Shive shook her head. “No, I think that’s impossible.”
He gave her a tender look. “Tiernan is worthy of you, you know that.”
“We will not speak of Tiernan ever again, do you hear? It’s over between us. I’ve finished it for us both. We all need to put the past behind us now. If Tiernan and I ever do resume our marriage, it will have to be on a different footing. I’m not sure that’s possible. Five years of hate mistrust, and suspicion are not the sound bases for a marriage, but we did it for the good of the clans.
“If it's for the good of the clans that we now separate, I'll have to accept that decision too. Right now we need to prepare for the wake and funeral. Let me just have a quick wash, and then we'll start making the arrangements. And hurry up, please, will you. If I don’t sit down in a minute, I think I’m going to faint.”
Mahon put his arm around Shive to support her, and together they trudged heavily up the steps and into Rathnamagh Castle.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Shive managed to get through the funeral ceremonies of her father and cousin without collapsing, but the exhausting emotional turmoil she had undergone left her depressed and listless.
Moreover, her battles with the Vikings had physically exhausted her. Whenever she thought about Tiernan, she missed him desperately. An acute pang of regret shot through her every time she recalled the heady sensuality they had shared together only a few short days before. It was enough to make her even more despondent. Her whole body craved him like a physical ache without release.
Shive stayed in her room for three days after the funerals, trying to eat and sleep as much as possible, ever conscious of the fact that her pregnancy was going to limit her activities soon enough. She first sorted through her own few things that she had left behind in the castle before her marriage, and then went into her brother’s room. She looked over his possessions with a critical eye, trying not to let her grief over all her losses crush her.
Shive kept some of the smaller tunics and hose for herself, and his dagger and various other personal items. The rest of his clothes and belongings she offered to Mahon first, and then the other men in the clan afterwards. Next she aired out the room and offered it to Mahon as his suite when he stayed at the castle.
Since the death of two of his elder brothers, Mahon had been dividing his time between Rathnamagh and Skeard, keeping an eye on Shive and his brother Fergus, who had taken the news of Ernin’s death, and the death of Parthalan at Shive’s hands, much harder than anyone might ever have expected.
“It’s guilt, I suppose,” Mahon speculated as he discussed the matter with his cousin one evening by the hearth in her drab chamber. “Fergus thought he would have all the power along with Parthalan. He never stopped to think of the consequences for the rest of us. I know he's very selfish, but he truly loved Ernin.”
“We all did,” Shive said bitterly, as she helped her cousin unpack the small parcel of things he had brought with him. “I blame myself for what happened to him.”
“He knew the risks, Shive. He wasn’t just fighting to save you. He was fighting for all of us in this region. A Viking attack is the worst thing any village could ever go through. He died as he lived, a noble man. You did the right thing. There's no point in blaming yourself. To have acted differently would have meant disaster for us all.”
“I suppose you're right. I just hope all the sacrifices I’ve made have been worth it.”
“They will be, Shive, I'm sure." He patted her on the shoulder and relaxed back in his chair. "It'll be difficult for a while, but just give it time. In any case, I'm in the same situation as yourself now. With Fergus locked away from everyone at Skeard, I shall have to act as the head of the castle.”
“Mahon?” Shive hesitated.
Mahon raised an eyebrow at her inquiringly.
“I know this is presumptuous of me, but do you not think we could amalgamate our holdings? Then you could look after the affairs of both estates if anything happened to me, or vice versa. And there are several other young men here who are trustworthy and loyal, who could benefit from the experience of learning how to manage an estate such as this.”
Mahon smiled, relieved. “I’m glad you said that, Shive. I would have suggested it myself, only I didn’t want you overdoing things so soon after, well, you know.”
“Yes, I know. Right, if you’re willing to do an inventory back at Skeard, and then move on to Trian, then I shall get started here.”
“There won’t be that much to do, Shive, as well you know. Uistean and my father always left pretty much everything up to you where the household accounts were concerned.”
“All the same, I’ve been away for a few months now, and they usually looked after the livestock themselves. Besides, there's no telling what Parthalan and Fergus might have done while we were away at Castlegarren. So just to be on the safe side, tally up everything, see if it coincides with my last sets of figures, then you can come help me here with my calculations and inventory.”
“Oh, and one more thing before you go,” Shive added, just as Mahon was about to leave.
“What is that, my dear?”
“I want you to pay special attention to the livestock figures. Compare them to last spring’s tally, and let me know if they're logically too high. Also see if you can find the tallies for the last six years. See if there is any big difference between the figures for five years ago and six years ago.”
He frowned. “What am I looking for, exactly?”
“If the number suddenly took a huge leap upwards, then I think we will have found all of Tiernan’s missing beasts. They must be restored to their rightful owner as soon as possible, with interest.”
“Shive, I know you love Tiernan, but beggaring your own estate...”
Shive thumped her fist down on the table impatiently. “I will not have anyone in this clan profiting from my brother’s death, is that clear?”
Mahon stared at her for a moment.
Shive softened somewhat. “I'm sorry, Mahon, I didn’t mean to be so tetchy. But you must admit, giving back the cattle is only fair after all my father did to Tiernan. In any case, as I said, all those cattle were robbed from him. We have to give them back. I don’t know what’s going to happen to our marriage now, but I'd like to have Tiernan as an ally rather than an enemy, wouldn’t you?”
Mahon nodded.
“The O’Rourkes would like nothing better than to see us at each other’s throats, so that the whole region would be unstable, and Muireadach could make his bid to become high king. Don’t forget all the great plans Father had. He had no scruples about killing his son for the high kingship. What’s to stop Muireadach from making a bid for the title himself now?
“I keep getting the feeling that Father would never have acted as he did with the Vikings without some sort of plan in reserve. We just have to watch and wait. It may not come today or tomorrow, but Muireadach is our enemy
now that we've cast our lot with Tiernan. He’s always hated both Tiernan and Ruairi. I know you think I’m only giving back the cattle because I love Tiernan, but I want to do the right thing. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try to be fair to all parties concerned.”
“Speaking of Ruairi, has there been any word from him since you sent those messages to warn him about what's been happening here?”
“No. I think he’s still making his terms for his strategically advantageous marriage,” Shive said without a touch of rancor.
“I hope he comes back soon. Maybe then you would be less uneasy in your mind about what’s been going on here. You seem very on edge,” Mahon observed quietly.
“I’m sorry if I seem uneasy. It’s just that I trusted Father, Parthalan and Fergus, and look at how they betrayed us all. I was taught not to trust Tiernan, and yet in spite of that, I came to love him, even though sometimes I feel he's a complete stranger to me. That I don’t know him at all.”
Mahon leaned against the back of the door wearily and looked at his black-clad cousin, who looked weighed down by the most crushing grief. “Just because you were tricked by your father doesn’t mean you have to stop trusting everyone, you know, Shive. I was as much fooled as you were. More so. Parthalan and Fergus were my brothers. We were very close. Yet I never once suspected they might be involved in Fiachra’s death in any way. I took Uistean’s word for it that Tiernan was to blame, just as we all did.
“Even when I became friends with Tiernan, I never did suspect him, not really. But nor did I ever trouble my conscience unduly with trying to find the real culprit.”
She gave the earnest young man her most encouraging smile. “I know I’m on edge, Mahon, but never think for a moment that I have any misgivings about your loyalty. I would trust you with my life. I know I can rely upon Bran and several of the others. We'll get through all this, I'm sure.”
“Right, well, if you don’t need me for anything else, I'll take care of the cattle and sheep problem, and be back here by the end of the week.”
“And I shall start my inventory, and organize this entire estate.”
For the rest of the week Shive occupied herself with poking into every nook and cranny of the castle to count stores and supplies. She checked the weapons and fortifications, and assessed her family’s strength not only in terms of trade potential, but in case an attack should come from an unexpected quarter.
Since the weather was also now growing hotter, Shive concerned herself with the progress of the crops, and insisted that all the soldiers on the estate also lent a hand with the farm chores.
There were some fierce objections at first, since the main warriors of the clan had always been exempt from physical labour. Shive argued logically that it was unfair for so few workers to be expected to feed so many mouths.
Shive stood on the large oaken table in the middle of the hall looking down at them all so that she could gauge their responses. “The campaign season lasts less than three months, and you do very little other than hunt and drink. And I will admit, the hunting does help with the food, but you do nothing towards the food preparation here, cooking, cleaning, or preserving, gutting, and so on. So I'm going to organize you into groups. By the end of the month, I expect you all to be able to cook, clean and fend for yourselves without asking the servants to do every little thing for you.
“We'll also see which of you have aptitude in the fields and other areas of the estate, and divide up the work according to your interests and abilities. But we can't go back to the old way of sitting around doing nothing all day when you’re not fighting. We all have hands, and all shall help make this estate strong. Every one of us, from the sewing women to the leather tanner to the blacksmith and basketmaker. Is that clear?”
There was some reluctance at first, but after a few days of grumbling, she found that some of the younger men especially were actually beginning to enjoy themselves, and many became quite proud of their new-found skills
Some were excellent at carpentry, or wood carving, others at making weapons, and some even tried Shive’s loom as a joke, and got on well after a few lessons.
“You fight and organize thing around here, so why shouldn’t I weave?” her young cousin Finn smiled as he wielded the shuttle assuredly.
Shive grinned, ruffling his shock of ginger hair affectionately. “Why not indeed.”
By the middle of June, about a month after her taking on the role of tanaist, Shive was completely satisfied that the MacDermot estate was beginning to thrive as it never had done before. Everything she touched seemed to turn to gold, and with the entire clan on her side, she felt she couldn’t fail.
Her only cause of disappointment was the fact that Tiernan had not troubled to contact her in all the time she had been at Rathnamagh.
Shive, nearly broke-hearted with loneliness and loss, was just about to give up on him and conclude that her marriage was over when her husband came riding into the courtyard with his brother Cian one afternoon.
“We were out hunting and thought we would stop in to pay our respects,” Cian said as he leapt down from his saddle and hugged her. “My dear, you’re looking blooming, isn’t she, Tiernan?”
Shive shot a warning look to Cian, and put her hand under the apron over her dress to stop it from clinging to her gently rounding belly. She said in an even tone, “How nice to see you both. Do come in and try our new heather beer. We just broached the first cask this morning, and ‘tis a heady brew.”
“Anything, my dear, anything. I’m parched,” Cian said as he took her arm and led her into the castle, leaving Tiernan alone to trail along behind.
Tiernan berated himself for acting like a tongue-tied school boy. In truth he had never seen Shive looking so well and so happy. Had he come on a fool’s errand after all? He had hoped she would have missed him, would come home with him. But how could he expect her to just walk away from her role as tanaist, and accept her lot as a mere wife?
Cian monopolized most of the conversation by singing Shive’s praises for having given them the Vikings as laborers to work on restoring Breachnach village.
“And your men have been exemplary as well. In fact, the locals are so taken with them, there’s already talk of their settling down and marrying some of the girls,” Cian informed her jovially.
“It would be good to have a closer alliance. I suppose if this adversity brings that about, we should be glad it's all worked out so well. It could so easily have gone the other way,” Shive said with a sigh.
“And many thanks for all the cattle. It was far too generous of you.”
“It was the least I could do. I checked the figures, and knew they had been stolen from you. It was my duty as well as my pleasure to give them back,” Shive said politely, with a glance at Tiernan, who still gave no response.
The conversation lapsed after a few moments, and they all sat uncomfortably sipping their beer.
“What of yourself, Tiernan?” Shive demanded suddenly, no longer able to bear his distant demeanor and cold silence.
“I'm performing my usual duties, surveying the territory, accounting for my sheep and cattle, and tending to the crops and hunting as the occasion warrants. I too have kept an eye on Breachnach village. All seems well there now. At last the region is peaceful, and I believe we have to you to thank for that, Shive,” Tiernan said quietly.
Shive shrugged, but Tiernan pressed on, “Cian has told me of your reasons for the challenge against your father and Parthalan. I can only say I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that you had to choose between your family and mine. Or between myself and your father.”
“No, Tiernan, you never did that. You’re far too fair a person to ever have expected it.” Shive smiled softly. “I did what was right, for the sake of justice. Emotional ties didn’t come into the matter.”
Cian cleared his throat. “I’ll run off and find Mahon, if I may?”
“He should be in our new carpentry worksh
op, which I'm sure he'll be delighted to show you,” Shive said, escorting Cian to the door.
Then she sat down behind her desk, hoping to conceal her swelling belly from Tiernan’s piercing gaze.
She wondered if Tiernan had noticed her pregnancy. He kept staring at her so intently she was convinced he was about to berate her for not having told him of her condition sooner.
But Tiernan was so glad to see Shive that he had failed to notice anything different about her appearance, except that she was more beautiful even than he remembered. He was so delighted to be in her company again it was all he could do to refrain from pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless.
The Hart and the Harp Page 24
