by T. L. Hayes
“Just remember, call me anytime for anything.”
“I know and I will. I just…I want to say…”
“I know. You would do the same for me.”
“In a heartbeat. I just hope to God I never have to.” They hugged and Rachel hid her face in Rory’s jacket in the hope that she wouldn’t see her tears. Rory rubbed Rachel’s back and kissed her cheek. When they parted, Rachel sniffed and said, “I love you, asshole.”
Chuckling, Rory said, “I love you too.”
“No, jerk, you did it wrong. It doesn’t count unless you insult me.”
Rory laughed. “Oh, sorry. I love you too, douche.”
“Aww, thank you. Now go home and give that woman waiting for you a big kiss from me.”
“I will. And keep me updated on every little thing.”
“Okay, the next time he takes a piss I’ll let you know.”
“Okay, maybe not every little thing.”
After Rory left, Rachel stayed in the hospital until Bobby had been settled in a new room on the surgical floor. His voice wasn’t a hundred percent yet, but he could manage a clear whisper. He clasped Rachel’s hand tightly. “I love you. I should have said it sooner.”
“Sooner, later, doesn’t matter. The point is you said it and I’m going to hold you to it.” They shared a smile and she brought his fingers up for a kiss.
“Good, do that.”
“Oh, trust me, you’re not getting out of it now. Locked in. Face it, you’re in love with a lesbian.”
Bobby feigned a look of horror. “Well, you’re in love with a dude.”
“Hmm…maybe I didn’t think this through.” She winked at him, then leaned over and kissed his lips. She was delicate and knew she couldn’t linger because of his broken nose, but she really wanted to.
It was Bobby, however, who whined in protest when she pulled away. “I miss you. I mean, I miss sleeping with you. I know you would stay if I asked, but I want you to get a good night’s sleep. I know I will, with all the drugs I’m currently on.”
“Yeah, I don’t have the same help. But I promise, I’ll go home and sleep.” Feeling devilish, she pretended to look contrite. “I have to confess something. I slept with Rory last night.” It was hard to suppress a grin and after a couple of failed attempts, she stopped trying.
Bobby didn’t look upset in the slightest. “Oh, was it good for you?”
“Not nearly as awesome as I always thought it’d be. She generates way more body heat than you do and she’s freakishly tall, so it was like sleeping next to a tree, a very warm tree.”
“Liar.” Bobby was still grinning. “You’re just trying to protect my ego. Besides, you know I trust you.”
“Well, that just takes the fun out of it.” She sighed. “But I know. Besides, I was little more than a blond body pillow for her anyway.”
What she would never tell him was that in the middle of the night, after Rory had rolled over and gone to sleep, the stress and fear of the last twenty-four hours had finally gotten to her. She had lain as far in the corner as she could and let the tears quietly come. A few minutes later, Rory shifted and was suddenly snuggled up behind her and had put her arm around Rachel, enveloping her in a hug. She had taken Rachel’s hands and whispered, “I know, hon, I know. It’s okay. He’s going to be okay now. It’s okay, I got you.” Rachel scooted closer and Rory held her tighter. Rachel knew that she had never loved her best friend more.
After she went back to her dorm after saying good night to Bobby, she ignored all attempts from her neighbors to get her attention. As much as she wanted to hear about the arrest, at the same time, she just didn’t care. When she got to her room, she fell across the bed with a sigh, jacket and shoes still on. She rolled over onto her side, cradling her pillow in her arms, and stared at the wall.
She wasn’t sure what she felt like doing: sleeping, screaming for joy, running away, all of the above. She wasn’t aware of dozing until a couple hours later when her phone nearly made her jump by buzzing in her pocket. It was Rory. She was just calling to let her know she had arrived safe and to tell her that Maggie sent her regards.
Rachel briefly wondered what the fuck that even meant, when someone sent their regards. Was that prayers for the nonreligious? “Stop it, you’re being mean,” she chastised herself. The truth was, she liked Maggie and Maggie’s kindness meant a lot to her.
The next morning, she awoke semidressed, having shed all the lower half of her clothing except her underwear and having thrown off her bra and sweater in favor of a T-shirt she had found on the floor. She’d pulled it on after smelling the cologne. She knew it was Bobby’s and that had made her smile as she had fallen asleep. Now she headed to the shower.
Once refreshed, she remembered that her classes started back up today after the Thanksgiving holiday and wasn’t sure if she had the energy to sit through class. She was torn. She had a feeling Bobby would tell her to go to class even if he did want her to stay with him. She also had training with Dr. Silver later in the day.
She suddenly realized she wanted to see that wise, sensible woman again.
Chapter Nineteen
The door was open when she got to Dr. Silver’s office a few minutes later. She walked in without knocking and wordlessly set a cup of coffee on the professor’s desk before taking a seat and removing the lid of her own cup to blow on it.
“Well, good morning, Rachel. What have I done to deserve free coffee today?”
“For starters, you taught me kung fu.”
“Correction, I am teaching you kung fu. You’re not done yet.”
“Good point. But I just wanted to tell you that I’ve already had to put some of it to use.”
“Oh? Sounds like you had an interesting Thanksgiving.”
“I wish I hadn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
Rachel sighed and stretched her legs out in front of her. “Well, it started out great. I went to visit my friend Rory and her fiancée in Minnesota.”
“Well, that sounds good,” Lou said cautiously.
“Oh, seeing Rory was awesome. But it was cut short.” Rachel sighed and looked away. Dr. Silver gave her a concerned look but kept quiet. Finally, Rachel said, “Bobby’s brother called to tell me that Bobby got jumped.”
“Oh my God! Is he okay?” Lou sat up in her chair. Her concern was obvious and it appeared that she was ready to leap into action.
Rachel appreciated Lou’s response. It was good to know Lou cared that much for him. It made her feel that she had done the right thing in coming here.
“Getting there. But it was really scary for a while. Thank God for Rory.” Rachel proceeded to tell an increasingly concerned Dr. Silver all that had transpired, concluding with the arrests.
Still looking rather upset, Dr. Silver asked, “Do you think his family would allow me to see him?”
“Oh, he’s out of the ICU so anyone can visit now. I’m actually going there when I leave here. Want to go together?”
Rachel hoped she didn’t sound as needy as she felt, but she really wanted someone with her. She felt like the weakest person in the world lately, considering she always seemed to collapse into tears or emotional exhaustion every time she saw Bobby.
Dr. Silver eyed Rachel for a moment. She had a way of looking right through her that made her feel exposed. Thank God I don’t have sexual thoughts about her, Rachel thought. She’d probably read me like a book. A smutty book at that.
Finally, Lou said, “Yes, I would. Oh, and Rachel?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a strong person, stronger than you realize, and from the sound of it, you have held up better than could be expected.”
Softly, Rachel said, “Then why do I feel like the weakest link?”
Lou leaned forward and reached for Rachel’s hand. “Rachel, I know I don’t know all the details and I can’t know exactly how you feel but just know this: Being strong doesn’t mean no emotion. It doesn’t mean you don’t cry.
It doesn’t mean you don’t rage. Being strong means feeling all of it, taking it all in, and then going back. Strength is not the suppression of emotion—it’s the endurance of emotion. It’s the ability to get back up and do it all over again because you have to. Does that make sense?”
Wordlessly, Rachel nodded.
Dr. Silver smiled. “You know, even warriors cry when the battle is over.”
“Trust me, I’ve done plenty of that.”
“Good.” She squeezed Rachel’s hand and Rachel gave her a grateful smile, and then Lou stood up. “Come on. Let’s go see that sweet boy of yours.” Lou grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and Rachel stood with her.
“Would this be a good time to tell you I may not make it to class today?”
“We’ll see about that, Ms. Cole, we’ll see about that.” With her ever-present mysterious grin, Lou opened her office door and gestured Rachel out, then followed behind her.
* * *
When Rachel and Lou arrived, Chris met them in the hallway outside Bobby’s door and gave Rachel a hug. “Good morning. Everything’s good so far. The CT showed no further bleeding and he’s talking. Oh, and our mother is here. She’s with him now. So far, nothing’s exploded.” Then he noticed Lou. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I’m Chris, Bobby’s brother.” He held out his hand.
Shaking it, Lou said, “No worries. I’m Lou Silver, one of Rachel’s professors, and I’m teaching both of them kung fu.”
“That’s you?” Lou nodded. “Thank you. He told me that he was able to get some shots in. The kicks he did brought one of them to his knees. It may have slowed him down some. Bobby said he knows he hurt him. So thank you for what you’re doing. He definitely needs to learn some survival skills.”
“It’s my pleasure to teach them. I just wish I’d had time to teach him more before he needed to use it. I’m glad he’s doing better. Would it be all right if I saw him?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah. You’re in line after Rachel. Let me go see if I can get my mom moving.”
“I can wait,” Rachel said. “If it’s going well, let them be. That is, unless you think he needs a break from her.”
“Let me go check.” Chris disappeared into Bobby’s room and Rachel and Lou exchanged small smiles but said nothing.
Chris came back a couple of minutes later with his mother, who went up to Rachel. When she got closer, Rachel saw the redness in her eyes from crying.
“Rachel.” Rachel nodded. “My dau—my son told me a lot about you. He said he loves you.” Rachel nodded again. “See what you can do about getting him to my house for Sunday dinner when he gets out of the hospital, would you?”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll do my best.”
“Good.” She exhaled, then looked at Chris. “Walk me out.” She nodded to Rachel and Lou, even though she didn’t take the time to learn who Lou was. Chris just nodded to both of them then led his mother out.
Rachel grabbed Lou’s hand. “Come on, you’re going in with me.”
“Don’t you want to be alone?”
“I have had plenty of alone time with him and I will have more. Thought you might need the moral support.” Rachel’s look faltered and it made Lou smile. “In all seriousness though, he is a sight to see and it is off-putting at first. Lots of broken bones and his face is a mess.”
“I can take it if you can.”
“I’ve been taking it all weekend. Okay, let’s go.” Rachel pushed open the door and almost forgot Lou as soon as she saw Bobby. He was sitting up more and his smile was bigger.
“Rachel.”
That was the best part of all—he said her name.
“Hey, Dr. Lou.” He gave them both a big smile.
“Hi, Bobby,” Lou said.
“There’s that voice I’ve missed so much.” Rachel went to him and kissed him on the lips, not caring that Lou was there.
“Yeah, it came back this morning.”
“I saw your mother. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s good. She called me her son.” His face lit up at the words.
“I know, she said it to me too. Honey, I’m so glad.”
“Me too. Oh, Doc, I wanted to thank you. I was able to use some of the stuff you taught me.” Despite the bruises and bandages on his face, the smile he wore made him look like a young boy.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad. I hope you broke something on him. When you get out of here, I’ll teach you more defensive moves.”
“Yes! Can use more of those.”
“Rachel, I’m going to step out into the hall. Do you want me to wait for you?”
“Would you?”
“Of course. Bobby, we need you on your feet as soon as possible. So do whatever the doctors tell you and let this woman take care of you too.” Lou rubbed Rachel’s shoulder and gave Bobby a smile.
“I promise to listen to all my doctors, Dr. Silver.” He grinned. Lou laughed. Rachel lightly smacked him on the shoulder. “Ow, what was that for?”
“Stop flirting.” She grinned at him and he turned beet red.
“As I said, listen to her.” Dr. Lou waved as she left them alone.
* * *
When Rachel came out into the hallway Lou was standing against the wall with her arms crossed against her chest. She came forward at Rachel’s approach. “You okay?”
“Yeah. He’s doing better, and now we just have to wait for his body to heal, but the point is, he will.” Rachel attempted a smile and it almost made it to her face.
“Good. He’s a strong boy and I know he’s determined. Now my concern is you.” Lou leveled her gaze at Rachel and Rachel started to squirm.
“What? I’m fine.” Rachel shifted her feet but held Lou’s gaze, which instantly made the hospital hallway disappear for Rachel. She felt like they were in session again and that whatever Lou said next would require a bow from her in response.
“No, you’re not fine.” Her tone, though gentle and kind, brokered no argument. “If you can’t rest your mind enough to come to class today, that’s understandable. But you will come to work out with me today. You can leave him for a couple of hours—it will do you good.”
“But—”
“No. You will be there. On time and ready to work. Trust me.” During her declaration, Lou had put her arms behind her back and Rachel had instinctually followed her example. Instead of bowing, which Rachel figured would have been inappropriate to their location, Lou nodded to Rachel and Rachel, understanding the gesture, did the same.
Quietly, she said, “Yes, Sifu. I’ll be there.”
“Good. You stay, I’ll walk back. I’ll see you this afternoon.” Lou walked away and Rachel exhaled.
Once Lou was out of earshot, Rachel muttered, “Bobby’s right. That woman’s intense.”
* * *
Rachel walked into their training space on time. Lou was right; Bobby had told her he was okay about her going, more than okay. He was kind of jealous, he said, since he wished he could have gone too. With Bobby’s declaration of, “Kick some ass for me too,” in her ears, Rachel took her place on the mat and bowed to Lou and tried to clear her head.
Lou was wearing headgear and a pair of strange gloves that were open on the palm. On the floor next to her was another pair of gloves, a mouth guard, and the same headgear. She handed them to Rachel.
“After your warm-up, put these on. Oh, and when you get home tonight, make sure you boil that”—she indicated the mouth guard—“and fit it to your mouth. You don’t want it to be loose.”
“Okay, but why are we sparring today?”
Lou raised an eyebrow and Rachel immediately ducked her head.
“I mean, yes, Sifu.” She had never played sports in school, except for whatever sociopathic nonsense she had had to endure in PE class, so she had never had occasion to wear a helmet. After her warm-up, she did as instructed and strapped it on, along with the gloves, which she knew were sparring gloves. They had never sparred before and she wondered why now. She thought it
was too soon in her training, though she trusted Lou knew what she was doing.
“Okay, today, as you may have surmised, we are going to spar a little. I have taught you a set of moves, and now I want you to use them. Use the punches, use the kicks. Do you remember them?”
“Yes, Sifu.”
“Do not hesitate to strike me. Rest assured I can take care of myself. If you hesitate, make no mistake, I will seize the opportunity. You remember the contact rules?”
“Yes. Stay away from the back of your head, your neck, throat, and back, as well as your joints and groin. Using my knees or head-butting is also not cool.”
Rachel thought she caught Lou smiling at her colloquialism before resuming her serious expression.
“And if you best me and I take a knee or say tap out, how do you respond?”
“Wow, best you, I don’t think that’s going to happen. But if I were to pull off that miracle, I back off.”
“Okay. Good.”
Lou bowed to Rachel and Rachel bowed in return. Then Lou stepped away to take a fighting stance, put in her mouth guard, and gestured for Rachel to do the same.
“Begin!”
They danced around each other for a while, both with their hands up in a defensive position. Rachel shut out the room and the noises and worries in her head and focused on watching Lou. She watched how her body moved and she looked for vulnerabilities. At first, she couldn’t see any. Lou was too good at protecting herself and Rachel wasn’t sure how she was going to approach an attack on this woman who had been studying kung fu long enough to earn a black belt.
Then she noticed something. Lou had a tendency to drop her right hand just a bit and expose her chin. It was only for a small fraction of time but Rachel thought that if she was quick enough, she could get a hit in.
She waited for the right moment. She concentrated on the spot she was going to strike and shut out the voice reminding her that she was about to punch her teacher in the face and went for it without hesitation.
