Needing it more than air.
I run the tip of my tongue along her bottom lip and she opens enough that our lips converge. They mold together and move slowly as if the world itself has stalled, that time has frozen so this kiss will sear itself into our DNA, become the standard to which all beauty in life will be held against.
She pushes up on her toes, running the softness of her body against the hardness of mine. Having no clue what I’m doing, half following her lead and half following my gut, I dig my fingers into her hips, holding her to me. She moans, low and throaty, and the sound flips some switch inside me. Instinct takes over, and a knowledge I didn’t know I had has me sliding my tongue against hers in a gentle rhythm. It must be what she wants because her fingers bite into my neck and she makes a sound that vibrates against my chest and sets fire to my blood.
More. I need more.
My hands unlock and the desire to learn her every curve, feel the heat of her bare skin against mine, overrides all common sense. I duck my hands under her shirt and the soft skin of her lower back is silk on my palms.
Her mouth devours mine and she fists my hair in an iron grip. I lift her to her toes and back down, rubbing her breasts against me, her body against the hardness between my legs that strains toward her.
God, yes. I’ve craved this, craved her.
A hunger rages within me. I grasp the back of her head and her body bows as I take control and deepen the kiss. A frenzy I’ve never felt before unleashes within me. Every fantasy I’ve had of this moment is nothing compared to living it. Her willing body in my arms spurs my imagination and I picture us twisted together, powering inside her—my vision flickers black.
No!
I rip my mouth away, panting. My pulse thunders in my ears.
“What happened? Is everything okay?” Her voice is heavy with worry and impatience.
“Fine.” My forehead rests against hers, trying desperately to catch my breath. “I’m okay.”
“Lucas…”
“Really.” I flutter small kisses along her jaw, wanting so badly to do more but fear Gage will take this away from me. Focusing on my desire, my control, I try blindly to communicate to Gage and hope he doesn’t see Shyann as a threat.
She doesn’t seem as worried and turns to meet my mouth with hers. Unable to deny her, or myself, I groan and give in to this kiss. The warmth of her lips wraps me in security. My fists tremble with the effort to stay still as her fingers explore. She brushes against my nipples. I suck in a harsh breath and my hips jack forward. She grins but continues her delicate assault. My chest heaves, part of me wanting more while the other begs for reprieve from the overload of sensations. Her nails rake along my T-shirt and heat fires in my gut.
More.
My mind envisions her naked in the river while I explore every inch of her body. I imagine my mouth between her legs, her arching beneath me and my name falling from her lips.
Our kiss grows frantic. Blood powers through my veins. Darkness descends, but I push it back, hold it off for as long as I can because I’ll even fight with my own head if it means more time with Shyann.
Naked, wet, heated, and those blue eyes begging.
Her hands slide lower, dip into the waistband of my jeans.
Tunnel vision presses in.
I want this. Want her. Never wanted anything so badly in my life.
I slam my eyes shut.
Focus.
Stay present.
I push back with everything I have.
But I’m not strong enough.
The veil falls.
Eighteen
Gage
Will this woman ever fucking learn?
I rip my lips from hers and she whimpers. Greedy little bitch.
Apparently my message to leave Luke the fuck alone wasn’t understood.
I drop my hands, which had been locked so tightly to her my muscles ache, and step back, seething.
She gasps, and I keep my eyes to the dirt to avoid having to see the pathetic look women get when they’re rejected. Weakness is revolting.
“Hey, I’m sorry.” She reaches out and I smack her hand from the air before she can touch me. Her arms wrap around her belly.
I slowly move my gaze up her body. Baggy-ass pants that wouldn’t flatter even the sexiest woman, a worn shirt that showcases her heaving breasts, and then…ta-da! There it is.
Recognition.
I grin.
She scowls. “Gage.”
I hold out my hands and bow. “At your service, whore.”
She jolts at my verbal stab, but her glare tightens. “Why are you here?”
I chuckle and look up to the stars. “Hmm…I was about to ask you the same thing, but seeing the condition I found you two in, I’d say I know exactly why you’re here, Shyyy Ann.”
She shakes her head, long strands of her midnight hair swaying with the movement. “I’m here with Lucas…”
“Not anymore.”
“You weren’t invited.” The last word is spit like venom, but I don’t miss the quiver of fear in her voice.
How fucking dare she.
“I’m not invited? I’m not invited!” I step into her face, rage making my muscles tense and shake. “You’re the whore who isn’t fucking invited!”
I gotta give it to her. Despite the hurt that works behind her eyes, she doesn’t back down, which seems to harden my dick even more. Bitch.
“You didn’t listen when I told you to leave him alone.”
She squares her shoulders. “I don’t want to leave him alone.”
“What do you think is going to happen here? What delusional little girl fantasy do you have swirling in that tiny brain of yours, huh? You think he’ll fall in love with you? That the two of you’ll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?”
“What…no!”
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want Luke because he’s easy to control. You love the power you have over him, don’t you? Using that pussy to control the poor bastard.”
She cringes.
I lurch at her and as much as I’d love to wrap my hands around her pretty little neck, I ball my fists at my side. “Stay away from him.”
“I don’t want to.” Her voice is quiet, timid. She’s losing her fight. Finally.
“I don’t give a damn what you want. Do you have any idea how many women have tried to fuck Luke? How many times I’ve had to keep him from being raped?”
Her lip trembles and she shakes her head. “You’re lying.”
A low chuckle reverberates in my chest. “You don’t know shit. And thanks to me, neither does he.”
“Tell me.”
“Why? So you can pity him more than you already do?”
“I don’t pity him.” Her full lips turn down as she most likely realizes the lie in her words.
“The fuck you don’t. Everyone does. I’m only going to say this one more time.” I breathe deep, trying to get a hold on my rage. “Leave him the fuck alone!”
She advances, pushes up on her toes, and gets directly into my face. “If you want me gone so badly, why didn’t you let Dustin have me that night at the bar?”
Her words knock me in the chest. I was hoping she’d forget that night. All of it.
“Go home, Shyann.” My growled demand doesn’t move her an inch.
Stubborn bitch.
“Tell me. If you hate me so much, why did you protect me from Dustin?”
I pull off Luke’s stupid hat, run a frustrated hand through my hair, and fist it until it burns. “If I tell you, you’ll leave?”
“Not a chance.”
My gaze darts to hers. “Do you have a death wish or something?”
“I’m not afraid to die if that’s what you’re asking.” Her body shivers, betraying her words. “I’m not afraid of you.”
Aah, false confidence is such an easy tell.
“You’re in the middle of a dark forest. No one home to make sure you get there safe
ly. I could bury you and be rested by morning if I wanted.”
She takes a retreating step. “You wouldn’t.”
My lips curl back over my teeth. “You know nothing about what I would and wouldn’t do.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” She straightens her shoulders in a pathetic attempt at confidence. “You protect Lucas. You’d never hurt me because you know it would hurt him.”
I blink, considering her words. “A little pain now to save him from a lot of pain in the future would be worth it.”
“Yeah? Is that why you starved him?”
Touché. The bitch is smart.
“I knew it. You let him starve as punishment. Just like his mother did.”
I grip her arm and shove her back. “You fucking bitch! Don’t you dare compare me to that useless piece of trash.” I shove her again, making her stumble. “You think because Luke shared one little story with you, you know us?” I shove her again and she loses her footing and falls. I tower over her, glaring down at the pretty little bug that I could so easily squash under my foot. Be rid of her forever. “Stay the fuck away from him. Do you hear me?”
She sniffles but pushes up to her feet. Her eyes meet mine, and although hers shine with unshed tears, her gaze is steel. “Fuck you.”
My nostrils flare. My pulse rages and static fills my ears. I reach around and grab her by the back of the head, her hair a handle as I stomp a path to the creek.
Bitches. Every fucking one of them deserves to die.
The water hits my boots, seeping in above my ankles as I drag her deeper into the frigid water.
Her wet boots slip on the rocks and she cries out when her weight drops. Her hands grip my forearm as my hold on her hair is the only thing that keeps her standing. “Gage, stop!”
Ha! Not until she understands.
We’re waist-deep in the water when I pull her around to stand in front of me. My muscles shake with anger and a bunch of other shit I refuse to dwell on. The glow of the moon our only source of light, her lips appear blue and her eyes crystal clear.
“On your knees.”
Her entire body quakes. “Don’t do this.”
“Get on your fucking knees!”
Her eyes dart to the sides, her head unable to move as my knuckles ache from holding her tight. “But…” Her eyebrows pinch together and then pop up.
Yeah, she understands now.
The water is waist high on me and hits her rib cage. Dropping to her knees will effectively put her underwater and silence her forever.
I step in close, tilt her head with a vicious yank. A cry of pain rips from her throat and I bring her lips to mine.
“I want you on your knees, Shyann. Don’t worry, I won’t make you suck me off. I prefer my whores breathing.”
I tug and use my free hand to put pressure on her shoulder, lowering her against her will. She fights, but the cold water and fear must get the best of her because slowly she drops to one knee, then the other. The current tries to pull her away, but my firm hold keeps her right where I want her.
“Please, don’t do this.” She tilts her chin up, the water rising above her jawline and trickling into her mouth and nose. She coughs, gags.
Her mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping death-bringing air and I feel her body fight for life beneath my hands.
“Lucas…come back…” Her words trail off into gags as she struggles. Then finally water covers her face and she’s completely submerged.
My mouth breaks into a smile and I bend over so she can hear me through her freshwater earmuffs. “You’re going to die now, Shyann, and your last fucking thought will be how Lucas failed you. He failed to rescue you, and he’s responsible for your death.”
She flails in my hold, her body’s last-ditch effort at survival.
“Never underestimate me.”
Nineteen
Lucas
Light blazes before my eyes and I’m thrown forward.
Cold water fills my nose and mouth.
I frantically search for footing. My boot hooks on a rock and finally I push up, gasping air.
I’m breathing heavy and shaking, but not from the cold. My muscles are fueled with the aftermath of adrenaline. I search my surroundings. I’m in the river.
There’s movement at the water’s edge. Coughing.
Shyann!
I race to her, but being waist-deep in water makes me move in slow motion. “Shyann, are you okay?”
She whirls around to her back, and even in the dark I can see the fear flooding her eyes. “Don’t touch me!” She crab-walks backward in an uncoordinated scurry, her soggy pajama pants sliding down and tangling her legs.
I hold up my hands and take a few steps back. She’s soaked. Her thin shirt clings to her body, and she kicks free of her pants to move farther away from me.
“What—” The truth slams me in the chest and I stumble back into the water, nearly falling in it. “Gage did this.”
“Stay away from me!”
“Okay, I will, but…” I take in her form, so small and helpless and scared. My mouth floods with saliva and nausea turns my stomach. “What did he do to you, Shy?”
She peers up at me. “Lucas?”
“Yeah.” I’m ashamed she even has to ask. What have I done?
She relaxes, but not by much. “Oh God…” she whispers. “I think he wanted to kill me.”
My head goes light and the overwhelming desire to run overtakes me. This is what happens when people get too close. I let her in, enjoyed her company, kissed her beautiful mouth, and he punished her for it. I can’t leave her. Not like this. Not after whatever Gage did to break her down. I have to fix this.
“I want to go home.” She sounds so defeated.
“I know.” I hold out my hand and she flinches away. The heat of tears builds in my eyes. “Please, it’s okay. I’ll get you home.”
Mr. Jennings is the closest thing I have to family now. Once he finds out what I did to his daughter, he’ll have me arrested. Or if I’m lucky he’ll give me what I’ve been wishing for for years and put me out of my misery.
“You scare me.”
A single tear falls from my eye, but with the water I hope she doesn’t see my cowardice. “I know.” The confirmation rips through my soul.
Shyann is the brightest thing I’ve seen in my life. She’s not mine, but God, I want her. Her friendship, her smile. That would’ve been enough. No, that should’ve been enough, but I took more. Way more than I deserved.
She walks down the river to a shallow spot and crosses slowly. Her bare legs wobble as she tries to balance on slippery rocks. I keep my distance but draw close enough to help her if she needs it. Her teeth chatter, her long wet hair plastered to her back, and her body curls in on itself.
“Let me grab you a towel.”
She doesn’t answer.
I jog inside to grab a clean towel. When I return to the porch, I prepare to find her gone, but instead she’s on the bottom step crouched into a little ball.
“It’s only me.” I announce my approach to avoid upsetting her and when she jumps at the sound of my voice, I recoil.
I drape her shoulders with the towel, my arms itching to pull her back into my chest and hold her close, keep her safe and feel her breathe. She doesn’t move to hold the warmth to her but stares off into the distance with the towel falling limply around her.
“What happened, Shyann?” I whisper.
She blinks, the only proof she’s not a statue. “I can’t believe you don’t know.”
“I don’t.”
“Gage, he…” She finally moves and pulls the towel around herself.
I search her bare legs for injury. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. He threatened me and scared me, but I’m okay.”
“Your pants, when you were…did he—”
“He didn’t touch me…like that.” Her voice is dead, robotic and cold.
“I’m so sorry, Shy.” My voice cracks wit
h emotion. “I’d never want to hurt or scare you.”
She turns her head slowly, and her blue eyes search mine. My heart cramps to see the light that usually shines so bright is dark. “I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Lucas.”
It hurts so badly, the pain of hearing those words, so resolute, from her lips. But I wouldn’t expect anything less. “I understand.”
She nods and stands, moving to her truck; she climbs inside. There are no goodbyes, no shared glances, not even the slightest acknowledgment between us.
“I’m sorry.” This is all my fault. I got lulled into a false sense of security and after my last blackout I should’ve known things could get worse.
I tried to stay away, tried to keep my distance, but I wasn’t strong enough.
Gage is. He always has been.
The truck backs up and peels down the dirt road, kicking up rocks and leaving dust in its wake.
I have two days before Nash and Cody get back. I’ll stay up all night and finish the mantelpiece and then pack my stuff and move on.
Better to do it now before it’s too late.
Before someone dies.
Twenty
Shyann
I can’t close my eyes without seeing his face. Lying in bed with the sun just peeking up to warm the forest awake, I can’t get the last image of Gage to stop haunting me long enough to sleep.
Anger and fury twist his handsome features, transforming the timid Lucas I know into someone terrifying. And as much as it scared me, as much as I was convinced my existence would be erased from this earth, a voice whispered that he wouldn’t kill me. But I didn’t listen. I gave up. Gave in to the terror rather than fight for what I wanted. Prove that I’m strong enough to handle anything Gage throws at me.
I walked away from the one person who’s reminded me what it’s like to feel again, and Lucas let me go.
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