by Jayne Blue
“Leave it alone, Nicole. That’s the best thing you can do. Sometimes you can’t save the world.”
She blinked hard, but not before I saw her eyes start to glisten. And I felt like an ass all over again.
Chapter Five
Nicole
He left me shaking. With fear. With fury. And if I'm honest, with desire. Letting Brax Anderson back into my life was going to cost me far more than I’d realized. All I could do was stand there, watching him go. He slammed his hand against the exit sign and had to duck so the top of his head cleared the door frame. God. For all these years I made him out to be larger than life in my memories. Now that he was back in my life, he seemed to loom bigger than ever.
And he’d just walked out of it.
Doug’s last phone call played in my mind. Alone. Scared. Crying. I was a sucker for it and he knew it. But this time sounded a little different. A little more desperate. Which made me a little more desperate too. Could I really go through with it and give Brax what he wanted? Would that be what it took to get him to help me? Because I didn’t believe him. Damn him. All his bullshit about Doug’s current troubles being something he couldn’t get involved with. He was Brax Anderson. The Great Wolves M.C. ruled this town with an iron fist since my dad was a kid. They could clean up their act but that didn’t mean Brax didn’t still have power around here.
Rage and desperation bubbled up inside of me to the point I couldn’t see straight. Brax’s Harley engine revved outside and I gripped the tabletop, willing myself still. I wanted to run after him. To curse him. To kiss him. To cling to him. Instead, I picked up the nearest plastic ketchup bottle and hurled it at the front door.
It would have smashed against the glass and probably splattered to crime-scene proportions if the door hadn’t opened at that exact instant. Melinda, one of the day-shift waitresses, walked in. She had quick reflexes, thank God. She saw the bottle coming and ducked as it sailed out onto the sidewalk beside her.
I blew a breath out hard, flipping an errant strand of hair above my eyebrow. “Sorry, Mel.”
She smiled. “No. No. That’s okay. Clearly that bottle needed to be shown a lesson. I’m just glad it wasn’t a pickle jar. Or is that next?”
I smiled and gave her a knuckle knock as she passed me. “You okay, Nicole?”
I put my hand on my hip and shook my head. Melinda had worked here since she was old enough to draw a work permit. She was just finishing up her last year of college and wanted to head to graduate school. Which meant I’d probably lose her come fall. She put a friendly hand on my shoulder and beamed at me with her dark, deep-set eyes. She wore her jet black hair cropped to no more than an inch long and it looked stunning on her. If I had tried it, I’d look ridiculous. My hair curled in tight ringlets the shorter it got. I would have looked like a blonde Brillo Pad.
“I’m fine. Just your typical bullshit.”
Melinda raised a brow. “Well, it’s bullshit, all right. The only person I know who gets you worked up like that is Doug. Hell, he’s the only person who gets me worked up like that. And he’s been doing it a lot more than usual lately. Anything you want to clue me in on?”
It was sweet of her to ask. And if I were going to clue anyone else in it would be Melinda. She and Doug dated for a while a year or two ago. I had hoped it would work out between them. She was a good, stabilizing influence on him. But Doug had pushed her away just like everyone else and she’d finally had enough of it.
“Same shit, different day, is all,” I lied. It was way worse. Melinda knew me well enough to know I wasn’t being altogether honest, but she respected me enough not to pry.
“I do love the guy, Nicole. You know that. I always will. He’s his own worst enemy though. He always has been.”
“I know. It’s not all his . . .” I stopped myself. I was about to say the exact same thing my dad always said. It’s not all Doug’s fault. He’s had a rougher road than a lot of other kids.
Melinda pursed her lips together and leaned against the counter by the cash register. “You have any contact with him? Your dad?”
My back stiffened in a defensive posture like it always did when people asked. I had to remind myself this was Melinda. She wasn’t asking to sate any need for town gossip. I picked at a phantom piece of lint on my sleeve. “Just a letter every now and then. We aren’t really very close anymore.”
Melinda nodded. She knew not to share even that scrap of information with the next customer who wanted gossip. Whatever happened to Doug Sr.? Is it true he got life? I’m surprised the government didn’t take the ice cream shop right out from under him.
The truth was they tried. When it all fell apart, he nearly brought the family down with him.
I was the one who stayed to pick up the pieces. I thought I’d be enough to save Doug. Bile rose in my throat and hot tears stung behind my eyes. But I couldn’t give into that now. Not in front of Melinda, no matter how much of a friend she was. This was family business. I snorted hard through my nose and wiped a hand over my cheek.
“Is there anything I can do?” Melinda stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder again. “I know you don’t like me getting too personal. And that’s okay. But if you don’t mind me saying so, you look like you’re hanging on by a thread, Nicole. You forget, I’ve been around Ridleys for a while.”
“Yes. You have.”
“You know I still care about Doug. A lot. And believe me, it costs me something to admit to that. For the love of God, don’t tell him I told you that. I just couldn’t do it anymore, you know? I want a family someday. And kids. Doug just seems to have a problem growing up himself. And look, I know everybody thinks it was rougher on him losing your mom. You know, because he was the one who found her.”
Pain stabbed through me, sharp as an icepick. I felt the shield of my smile creeping across my face. I put up a hand, as if Melinda’s words took physical form and I could bat them away. Melinda’s face fell and her own shielding smile fell into place. She took a step back, retreating from the path she tried to take me down.
“Well, anyway. If you need anything. Please, just ask.”
I was going to say what I always say. Thank you. I’m fine. I’ve got everything covered. But something stopped me. I met Melinda’s eyes and she flinched. I think she understood what it cost me to even ask.
“Mel, I just need to find him. He might be in real trouble this time. I know it’s been a while, but is there someplace you know of he liked to hang out? He kept a lot of his social life away from me. God, I don’t even know where he went with you half the time.”
Melinda’s smile turned genuine. She leaned over and grabbed an apron from the ledge on the other side of the counter and started to tie it around her waist. “You know, there is a place. He liked that bar on the east side. At the base of the Talbot Street bridge. It was a little seedy for my tastes but it has a certain rough charm and really good onion rings. The Shires. I don’t know. Maybe someone there might have seen him lately.”
“Thanks, Mel.”
The bell over the door jingled and a group of teenagers filed in wearing school uniforms and smiles.
“You know,” Mel said. “Kelly and Chris will be here in about fifteen minutes. If there’s something you need to take care of, we can handle the after-school rush.”
For the second time this afternoon, I caught myself trying to go on autopilot. The one person I’d asked for help had just walked out the door. Now someone else had offered without me asking. Maybe it was a sign, if I believed in that sort of thing.
“Are you sure?”
Mel took a step back and her eyes widened. She hadn’t expected I’d take her up on her offer in a million years. She gave me a wink. “Positive. We’ve got this. But hey, if you’re going down there looking for Doug, don’t go by yourself.”
I tucked a hair behind my ear. “I’m tougher than I look, Mel.”
“Oh I know. And you look pretty tough. It’s just, there’s a reason I didn’t like going down t
here with Doug. I’m serious. Take someone with you.”
Someone. The truth was, I had no one. And that was the biggest of my secrets. “Thanks, I will,” I lied to her. She didn’t pry. I think Mel understood how much it took for me to accept even this much help from anyone.
Just then, Chris and Kelly walked into the shop together. They’d been dating for a few weeks now and it had mercifully been going well. Chris was the best kitchen help I’d had in years. Kelly knew how to manage the hell out of the floor. I turned back to Melinda.
“An hour. Hour and a half tops. I promise I’ll be back by five thirty.”
Melinda gave me a salute and grabbed a stack of menus for the kids who’d taken the booth near the jukeboxes. She made a shooing gesture with her hands. I grabbed my lime-green trench coat from the coat rack to cover my ice-cream-parlor attire and hurried out the door.
Chapter Six
Seedy didn’t even begin to cover it. I knew The Shires, of course. You couldn’t live in Lincolnshire your whole life without at least driving by every corner of it. But I’d never been inside of it. The second I stepped foot through the front door, I realized what an idiot I was. How I must have looked to Brax today with my ice-cream-cone outfit and tight bun in my hair. The green trench coat hid nothing. Everyone in this place knew I didn’t belong. Once again, I’d charged into something without thinking it all the way through.
I got stares and a couple of catcalls. I kept my eyes straight ahead and found an empty seat at the bar. The bartender stood with his back to me. He turned and his eyes went wide. A slow smile spread across his face as he looked me up and down.
“You lost, College Girl?” he said. “If you’re looking for the hipster coffee shop, that’s two blocks over on the waterfront.”
Well, I guess I should have been flattered. I was ten years past college age. He had beefy hands and a comb over that wouldn’t quit, but the guy’s eyes shone with amusement, more than malice. His comment earned him a few chuckles up and down the bar, but everyone got their look and went back to their drinks and conversations.
“Is this your place?” I asked.
He nodded as he stepped closer to the bar and flipped a drink menu in front of me. I spread my hand flat on it and slid it closer. One proprietor to another, it would have been rude of me not to order anything. I settled for a draft beer, even though it was a little early in the day. I figured asking for a Diet Coke wouldn’t help my situation much.
“Rick,” he said as he poured the beer into a frosted mug and set it in front of me. I pulled my phone out of my purse and tapped open my camera roll. I swiped until I found the most recent picture of Doug I had. He’d been laughing. Just below the camera frame he’d flipped me off. I’d taken it because I was sick of looking at his goofy Facebook profile picture. It was one he’d taken shirtless in front of a mirror and I wanted something less ridiculous. I never should have let on I was irritated because he still hadn’t changed it.
“Good to meet you. I’m looking for him.” I flipped my phone around so Rick could see it. He kept his face still as stone, but for a tiny twitch near his right eye. You’d make a shitty poker player, Rick, I thought.
But Rick straightened and gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Then the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as he fixed his gaze to the man sitting closest to me at the bar. He was big and burly with a shiny shaved head, reminding me a little of the man on the floor cleaner bottles. The man had seen Doug’s picture too. A look passed between him and Rick that made my blood turn to ice.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
“Boyfriend of yours?” Rick said. “I’m thinking you could do a lot better.”
“You’d think.”
Rick spread his hands across the bar and leaned in closer to me. “Sorry, hun. He doesn’t look familiar.” He shot another fleetingly quick guilty look toward the bald guy sitting next to me, then straightened and turned his back to me, jamming a metal scoop into the ice bin behind him.
I took a swig of my beer and slid a ten-dollar bill across the bar. Just when I thought things couldn’t have gone any worse, my phone rang. That same picture of Doug flashed across the screen. I smiled at Rick and grabbed my phone, my heart racing. I picked up my beer and raised the mug toward Rick as a salute then worked my way toward one of the empty booths near the back of the bar.
“Doug. Jesus. Where have you been? Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
“Where’s the money, Nicole?” He didn’t sound desperate and scared this time. He sounded pissed off. My blood went from ice to a near boiling point.
“Quit fucking around,” I whisper-shouted into the phone. “I’ve been driving all over town trying to figure out where you’re holed up. I’m done with this, Doug. I’m not giving you any money. As if I even had that much of it just lying around to transfer for you. You’ve got me worried sick and I’m not the only one. Melinda’s been asking for you too.”
It was a cheap shot to both Melinda and Doug. And a little bit of a betrayal. But if it gave Doug pause and helped him come to his senses, it would be worth it.
“If you see me in a body bag on the news tomorrow, this time you’ll know it’s your fault, Nicole.”
I shuddered and squeezed my eyes shut. “God. You really can be an asshole. I don’t even know why I bother half the time.” Doug had just landed the lowest of blows. As hard as I tried, he knew I’d never get the image of seeing our mother getting wheeled out of the house in a black bag when I was eighteen years old out of my fucking brain. And I knew he’d seen so much worse.
“If you want something from me, you’re going to have to come home to get it. I’m not playing this your way.”
Then I hit the button to end the call, my heart pounding half out of my chest. I took another giant gulp of my beer and squinted as the cold liquid poured down my throat. I slammed the mug against the table and got up to leave. Pulling my coat tighter around me, I headed for the door. I made it almost to my car when a rough hand closed around my upper arm and turned me.
The bald guy from the bar towered over me as my blood seemed to drain straight down to my shoes.
“I think we have a mutual friend,” he said, his voice like sandpaper. “And I think we might be able to help each other.”
“I doubt it,” I said, jerking my arm away from him. “You know, grabbing a woman like that in a parking lot might be interpreted as a little bit threatening. Is that your intention?” I scanned the lot. It was early yet, just past five. The parking lot was still well lit and there were people all around, walking into the bar and further down the sidewalk. I slid my hand in my pocket and closed my fingers around my phone. Screaming would probably be the quickest way to draw attention. Plus, I’d already seen three police patrol cars pass in front of the building since I got here. Still, if this guy wanted to do me real harm I was in big trouble.
He pulled his hands away and held them palms out in surrender. “Not at all. I just thought we could have a conversation. See, I’m hoping I might be able to find your brother too.”
I’d never once told anyone in the bar that Doug was my brother. If I’d felt indignant before, now I was moving toward a cold panic. Should I play dumb? Would now be about the right time to scream?
“I’ll give you his phone number if you want it. If I knew where he was why do you think I’d come down here?” Okay, so not exactly dumb. Maybe a half-truth would buy me the most amount of time.
I judged the distance to my car. Only twenty feet, but there was an alley in between. The crowded sidewalk began to thin as if everybody around knew to steer clear when this guy followed me out of the bar.
God, how could I have been so stupid?
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s find someplace quiet where we can talk. Maybe we can help each other out. We’re on the same side. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to Doug either. And I might be in a better position to see that it doesn’t.”
I shrank away from him and
searched his face. He let go of my arm but kept his body between me and my car.
“If you have something to tell me, you can say it right here, or we can go back into the bar. Otherwise, I’m going to need you to step out of my way.”
“You’re smart,” he said. “Smarter than Doug. You know, he talks about you. Nicole this, Nicole that. It’s sweet. He looks up to you.” Blood seemed to drain from me, leaving me shivering. He knew my name. He knew my relationship to Doug. I knew absolutely nothing about this guy.
“Yeah? Well, I’m afraid he’s never told me about you. Who are you?”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Daryl. I’m Daryl.”
Daryl stuck out a hand to shake mine. I hesitated, but then gave him a quick, forceful shake, then I crossed my arms back in front of me.
“You said you’re in a position to help Doug. You mind telling me what you mean by that?”
Daryl smiled. He rolled a toothpick between his teeth and looked toward the sky. Standing directly in the setting sunlight, Daryl’s skin took on an orange glow. “Well, I was more hoping you might be able to relay a message to him. Maybe he’d be more inclined to listen if it’s coming from you.”
I couldn’t help it, that got a genuine laugh out of me. “Then you don’t know my brother as well as you’d like me to think you do. Like I said, I’d be happy to give you his phone number. I’m guessing you probably already have it.”
Daryl took a step forward and put a heavy hand on my shoulder. My spine crunched a little under the weight of it. My gaze focused on the chipped toothpick rolling between his yellow teeth. “You tell him his time’s up. He’s got a meeting he needs to keep.”
“Yeah. I’m not his secretary, Daryl.” My heart hammered behind my ribcage. I knew only a thin veneer of politeness stood between me and the more sinister threat behind Daryl’s words. His hand squeezed into my shoulder harder, then he pushed himself off me. Throwing the toothpick on the ground he finally took a step back.
“Call him,” he said. “Get him on the phone. That’s how you can help me.”
