“She is so cool. My mom really likes her.” Leah and Annie chime in. My smile is so big that nothing could take it away.
BEEP!
BEEP!
I slightly open my one eye to see that my alarm clock says 1:13. I keep smacking it to get the beeping to stop but then I realize that it’s my phone. I climb out of bed and find my pants on the floor near the hamper. I pull it out to see I have a few text messages from Shawn and Max about a game of basketball with the boys while the girls are doing something, what they’re not sure because they were too busy laughing. I hop in the shower quick to get the smell of sex off before meeting up with my son and friends. I grab my light blue basketball shorts, white sneakers and black wife beater. I head downstairs while I dial Max.
“It’s about time. You want to play some hoops?”
“Yeah let me grab some Gatorade. What park are you at?”
“The one on Sycamore. It was the closest to Nicarra’s house since the boys needed to grab some stuff.”
“Okay I’ll head out as soon as I kick Ryan awake.” I hang up with him and chug a Gatorade. “Ryan, you awake?”
Ryan mumbles something unintelligent
“Dude, there’s a hot girl at the door for you.” Ryan rolls off the couch and jumps up to look around the room to see if someone was watching him. Ryan adjust his clothes so he can be presentable.
“Where?”
“Just kidding man. I’m heading out to play hoops with the boys, want to come with us?”
“Sure. Can I borrow some shorts?” I nod. It was about twenty minutes before we were pulling into the parking lot.
“Dad!” Bennett yells when he sees me. I look at my kid and I can’t help but swell up with a lot of pride. Michelle leaving me was the hardest thing that I ever had to deal with and there were times that I wanted to throw in the towel and never leave my house. When I would hear, the kids laugh, hug me or call out for me when they were sad, hurt or not feeling good, it made everything worth it. The sacrifices of sleep, a love life, and sanity most days were the right choices.
“Hey are you ready to get your butt kicked?”
“Bring it old man. Us boys against you old men.”
“How about we throw Uncle Ryan in with you to make it fair?” I laugh. We often pick on Ryan for his bad sports abilities. Ryan is more a workout man than a sports guy. I asked him one time why he didn’t play any sports, “Dude, I’m the youngest of six and the only boy. My parents were in the late forties earlier fifties when they had me. My parents are great people but they didn’t do the sports things and my sisters were all out on their own.” He shrugs.
“Hey now!” Ryan huffs.
“Okay, we’ll keep him.” Max says. We spend the next hour and a half playing a tough game of basketball. Between Bennett, Jonathan, and Cooper, Tony and Jameson and we were getting our asses kicked. We needed to call the game because Shawn, Max, Ryan, and I needed oxygen.
“When did you guys get so damn good at this game?” Max asks as he tries to catch his breath.
“You guys.” Jonathan says as they keep shooting with the younger kids.
“So Max, do you think you could sneak out for a boys night? Hockey game tonight.”
“I can see. With as many kids as we had last night, you would have thought we only had Jonathan and a couple of friends. It was easy. I even let Reagan and Sarah deal with them and went to bed.”
“Wait, whose Sarah?” Ryan speaks up and I try to contain my excitement about wanting to know more.
“Sarah is my sister’s best friend. She fell yesterday, had a concussion and broke her leg so she is moving in with us so Reagan can take care of her. She is my partner for the contracting business. She does all of the designs.”
“Oh speaking of that; I meant to call you yesterday. Princess Jana needs her own bathroom.” Max laughs, “So I figured I could do some updating on the whole house.”
“What’s your schedule like?”
“I’m working every day. Can I come by after work or vice versa?”
“Why don’t I come by there to get some measurements, take pictures then I’ll draw something up? Sarah comes in when it gets close to being done to get color, and whatever else she does. I half listen to her.” Max laughs. “Alright boys; whose hungry?”
All the boys scream that they are and start jumping up and down. Oh to have their energy.
We spend the afternoon with the boys eating pizza, playing arcade games when Max gets a call from Reagan to let him know that they were heading home soon. It was nice getting together with the boys and the guys. I missed this when the kids were growing up. I used to pass them onto babysitters or play dates.
“I’ll let you know about tonight but I don’t think Reagan and Sarah would have a problem.” Max says getting up to gather the boys up. “Shawn, want to help me with these knuckleheads?”
“Yeah. Oh Ryan, your car is at the bar, don’t forget to get it.” Shawn reminds Ryan and I completely forgot about it.
“Did I know this?” Ryan asks me and I hang my head.
“I took your keys last night. You were too drunk to drive. Let’s go get your car.” I pay the bill and walk over to Bennett. “Hey buddy, you be good tonight. I love you. Let Jana know that I love her.”
“I will dad.” Bennett is getting to the point where he doesn’t like the touches, hugs, or even the quick kiss on the top of his. He looks around to see if anyone is listening to us. “I love you too.”
“Oh did you do your homework?” I ask already knowing the question.
“I was hoping that we could do it tomorrow afternoon?” Bennett gives me that smile that I use to use on my mom and grandmother. I nod.
I head out and decide to do some grocery shopping. I’m walking up and down the aisles not really paying attention to my surroundings when I run my cart into another one.
“Oh I’m sorry.” I look up to see my ex-wife Michelle standing there with a young boy. “Michelle.”
“Oh Jensen,” Michelle looks uncomfortable bouncing from one foot to another, “how are you?”
“I’m well and you?”
“Doing okay given the circumstances with grandad. Thank you for taking the kids to see him.”
“Despite what happened to us, he’s still family. Well I must be going.”
“Can I see them?”
“I don’t know. Let me think about it?”
“I will go to court.”
“Michelle, I wish you wouldn’t have threatened with that. I wanted time to think about it and talk to the therapist to see what she recommends for the kids.”
“Oh. I meant what I said.”
I walk away from her leaving my cart there in the aisle to leave the store. I try to call my lawyer but realize it’s Saturday. I punch the steering wheel.
Middle of October
“Thanks Abby for coming with me to the doctor appointment. Today is the day to find out the sex.” I stand in the elevator waiting to get off on the fifth floor. It’s another ultra sound today. I can feel the baby moving constantly. He/she is going to be a dancer. I started shopping for maternity clothes because none of my clothes fit. Reagan and Abby have been battling where I should stay but I love being close to work and Max decided to remodel the upstairs apartment into a studio for me so I can work from home too. I still don’t know what I am going to do about finding and telling the father of the baby. I know it is slutty of me not to get the name of the man I lost my virginity to and now carrying his child but it was a heat of moment that I will never regret.
“I hope the baby cooperates with us today. We should have known three weeks ago, but she was being stubborn.” Abby laughs as we get off on our floor.
“How do you know that the baby is a girl?”
“Do you not remember us when we were younger?” I laugh and Abby joins me.
“Oh we are screwed.” Abby and I laugh as we head into the doctor’s office. “Sarah Edwards to see Dr. May.” Ever since my first appointme
nt she told me to call her Dr. May because she prefers to keep things friendly like we are all family.
“She is running about ten minutes late.” Dr. May’s receptionist informs and goes back to answering the phone. I waddle over to where Abby is sitting. I tell her about being late. I pull out my iPad to start working on the new project that Max and I are working on. I’m excited about it because I got the wish list from Jana and Bennett. Jensen, their dad, sent me an email letting me know that he wants to see all the designs and he has the final say. I’m typing away when I hear my name being called and I put things away.
I’m excited to see what the doctor has to say and to see the baby. Abby and I start walking towards the door but I drop my purse and I get down to pick up. I feel this jolt of excitement in my stomach as I hear someone saying, “I’ll call you later May.” I felt this one other time when the Doc and I were together.
“Sarah, are you okay?” I hear Abby asking me as I look around the room. I heard his voice so I know that I’m not imagining things, am I?
“Um, yeah. I thought,” I scan the room again but I don’t see him, and I tell the nurse to hang on one second and I head outside of the office. The elevator door closed “never mind. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I tell myself as I walk back into the office. The disappointment I feel in my heart, the excitement of seeing my baby went away.
“Hello, and how is mommy feeling today?” The nurse asks me as I head into the examination room.
“Mommy isn’t feeling too good today. My brain is so scattered.” I smile at her weakly.
“Oh, that is normal for being pregnant; we call it the mommy brain.” Abby laughs and nods.
“I can agree with that.” The nurse checks my vitals and scribbles down her notes before leaving Abby and I alone waiting on the doctor. Abby and I sit there for about ten minutes. “Sarah, are you sure you’re okay? When you dropped your purse, you went white. It’s like you saw a ghost or something.”
“I thought I heard,” I sigh, “the baby's father’s voice.”
“Do you know who it is?” Abby asks as she sits up straighter.
“I don’t know his name, but I know what he looks like, smells like, and I have even drawn his tattoos from memory.”
“You sound like a girl with a school girl crush.”
“Abby, it was so much more. I know this is silly but when he kissed me,” I close my eyes to remember how it felt, “I felt this jolt. I don’t even know the words to describe it.”
“Sarah, I think you’re painting a bigger picture of this man than what he really is. You didn’t even get his name. This behavior really surprises me.”
“Abby,” I clench my teeth, “Stop that.”
“I’m trying to get you to see the big picture here. You had a one night, not even a one night fling with some guy in an on-call room, losing your virginity to a total stranger.”
“Shut up.” I snap at her.
There is a knock at the door and I put on a smile, “Come in.”
Dr. May walks in with my chart and she doesn’t have her normal smiling, happy personality.
“Sarah, how are you feeling today?”
“I’m alright.” I don’t even look at Abby. I know that some of the things that she’s saying is true. I’m probably making ‘Doc’ out to be this amazing guy, bigger than life but to have my best friend discounting what I am feeling crushes me.
“Your blood pressure is a little high, and that concerns me. Are you under any stress?”
“I’m doing what I normally do every day so I don’t think so. I’m working on a nursery for the baby, and I'm doing a remodel on a house for a new client. I’m looking for colors and designing which is my favorite part of the job.”
“Well we need to monitor it so I’ll need you to come in more often to check your blood pressure. Also, here is a blood pressure monitor, I want you to do it when you get up, and before you go to bed. Please keep a journal.” I nod as I take the machine and put in bag.
I lay down on my back to get ready for the doctor to do her thing. “Are we going to find out what we’re having?” I nod. I need to know or I’ll be going crazy. “Let’s find out. I hope he or she isn’t stubborn like she was last time we tried to find out.”
The whooshing sound that echoes through the room always seems to calm me now. “I wish you could put that sound on a CD for me so I can play it all the time. It relaxes me and makes me smile.”
“I can see what I can do.” Dr. May points out the head, body, legs and hands. “Drumroll please, and you are going to be the proud mama of a baby girl!” I start crying. Abby grabs my hand and leans in. She kisses the top of my head, “We’re having a girl!” And with those four words from Abby makes her earlier comments just go away.
Dr May hands me two copies of the sonogram. When Reagan and I came for my first visit, I told her the truth about the father because she wanted to know if he would be involved. I told her that if I ever met him that I would like to have extras for him.
“Sarah, can I talk to you a minute, alone?” Abby stands there upset but I walk with Dr May to her office. “I’m not trying to butt in where I don’t belong but here is some information on preeclampsia. This is a serious condition and you need to take care of yourself and that little girl.”
“Dr. May, you heard our conversation?” She nods. “Abby thinks I live in the stars about the baby’s father.”
“Sarah, you may live in the stars about him but it’s your baby. Enjoy it. If you want to talk about him like that, then do it. I want you to know one thing though, don’t mistake reality for fantasy. You may never see him again.” I cry and Dr. May pulls me into a hug. “Life is funny but fate is exciting.” Dr. May winks at me as we leave the office with the paperwork and her personal cell phone to call her.
“Thank you.” I walk into the reception area with a smile on my face. Abby is sitting there on her phone, waving her arms around and didn’t see me at first. “Ready? I’m starving. Wanna get some pizza?”
“Are you okay? Why did the doctor need to talk to you without me?”
“Oh she wanted to talk to me about my blood pressure. I need to be careful and read this literature.” I hand Abby the pamphlet.
“Why couldn’t I be in there though?” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t like that, we should find you a new doctor.”
“No, I like her.” I say as I hit the button for the elevator so we can head to the car. We are sitting in my car and I get ready to reverse my car, I look to Abby. “What would you do in my place?”
“I don’t know. I know I was a bitch in there. I have this amazing love with Cash and I can remember the moment I fell in love with him. I look at our son and I can’t imagine going through that without him. I get why you talk about ‘Doc’ the way you do but I don’t want you to get hurt if he doesn’t come back.” I start crying because Abby finally gets what I am feeling and why I am terrified.
“Abby, if he doesn’t come back; I have a beautiful baby girl, and an amazing set of friends who will be with me so I’m never alone. I want what Max and Reagan have, the relationship with the problems but solving them together. I get to see their love grow as they raise Jonathan together.” Are the words coming out of my mouth the truth or are they just lies that I tell myself to sleep at night.
“I know and you will have that someday, even if it isn’t with ‘Doc’, please don’t give up.” We sit in the car crying for a few minutes before my stomach growls loud. Abby and I laugh, “We better feed you.”
Leaving May’s office, I can’t get rid of that feeling that the blonde girl who captures my thoughts and dreams was close by, but the emergency room doesn't give me much time to think about it. There was a major accident that involved at least six cars. Tonight, is Halloween and I got stuck working tonight. Reagan and Abby, her business partner, are throwing a party at the store so the kids were going to be there I can pick them up there.
“Hey Dr. Causer, there is a call for you on
line three.”
“Dr. Causer speaking.”
“Hi Doctor, I have a problem and only you can fix it.” Lacy purrs into the phone. I smile.
“Hang on and let me go to my office.” I walk to my office, “Now can you explain this problem to me?”
“Well you see, I have this itch that is really itchy and only you can scratch it.”
“Where is this itch? I need some details.”
“I’m currently laying on my bed, no clothes on because when I wear a thong, it makes the itch even itchier.”
“Really? What happens when you spread your legs?”
“Nothing really.”
“Oh well I need for you to take your finger over the itch slowly and tell me what it feels like.” I sit down and close my eyes. Ever since I met Lacy in the bar two weeks ago, we have been sexting, phone sex and I even sneak to see her occasionally. I know it’s wrong to keep seeing her like this when she isn’t the one I imagine that I’m with, but I am a man.
“It tingles.”
“Tingles, that’s very good. What I want you to do next is going to take a lot of willpower. I need you to rub your finger over that clit of yours slowly until you are ready to burst but don’t and when that feeling of orgasming goes away, do it again and again until I get there.”
“Making a house call?” Lacy moans.
“Yes, but I can’t stay long. My dick is so hard right now that pounding into you is the only thing on my mind.”
“I wish you could stay the night.” Lacy whispers in her sweet southern drawl.
“I’m sorry but this is not the weekend, you know that. I’m giving you a few hours of pleasure that I didn’t even plan on so be grateful instead of bitching.” I hear a knock on the door. “Come in.”
“Hey, we got some people here that you need to see.” The head nurse for the night shift snaps at me. I nod.
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 4
