Tell Me Who I Am

by Julia Navarro

  “Have you heard of Kristallnacht?”

  “Of course.”

  “You can’t imagine how many Jews have been arrested since then. They take them to labor camps and after that there’s no way to find out what’s become of them.”

  “Please, tell me where the Wassermanns are!”

  “I don’t know, I’m not sure. Herr Itzhak managed to send Yla out of Germany, I think to some relatives of Frau Judith in the United States. Yla didn’t want to leave, but Herr Itzhak and Frau Judith were firm, they didn’t want her to suffer all the humiliations that the German Jews were being subjected to. But they stayed here, thinking that the country would grow some backbone, that Hitler was only a bad dream, that the Jews would be considered good Germans once again... They got by with the little they had left, and I helped them when I could and then one day... well, Herr Itzhak disappeared; Frau Judith ran wild, nearly went crazy when we found out that he had been taken to a labor camp.”

  “And where is she?”

  “They took her too.”

  Amelia burst into tears. Herr Helmut sat quiet looking at her, without knowing what to do.

  “Please, Amelia, calm down! We can try to find out where they are and if there’s anything we can do for them,” Albert said, trying to console her.

  “At least Fräulein Yla is alright. I know that she wrote to her parents when she reached New York.”

  The man assured them that he did not know Frau Judith’s family’s address in New York, but in the midst of such troubles it was a relief for Amelia to know that her childhood friend was safe.

  “What happened to the factory and the business?” Amelia wanted to know.

  “They confiscated them; they let me stay on the front desk of the factory for a while, then they said that they belonged to the state and were now in the hands of a member of the Nazi Party. But I was able to save some of the machines, that’s why I wrote to your father. I didn’t know what I should do with them.”

  “But are they still useful for anything?” Amelia asked in surprise.

  “They were good machines, and I thought that if I couldn’t sell them I could at least hire them out; I did that with one of the looms: I hired it to a small-scale shirt-maker. As for the sewing machines, I hired them out to a family that makes clothes for one of the stores. It’s not much money, I know because I keep their accounts, but here it is, in case Herr Itzhak appears one day or... Well, your father is dead... but you are... well, you’re his daughter, you have the right to some of this money.”

  “And what about you, what do you do now?” Albert asked.

  “I do what I can. I am an accountant at the shirt factory and the dressmaker’s; I don’t earn a lot, just enough for me and my wife to live on. And I keep Don Juan and Herr Itzhak’s machines running. My oldest son is married and went into the army years ago; he doesn’t need anything from us.

  Herr Keller insisted that Amelia should receive a part of the earnings he made from hiring out the machines.

  She resisted, but in the end gave in.

  “This is your father’s money, so you should manage it as you see fit. I will give you the account books.”

  5

  With her knowledge of German, Amelia was once again a great help to Albert.

  “You’re lucky you’re so good at languages!”

  “It’s not that. If I speak French, it’s because my father’s mother, grandmother Margot, was from Biarritz; as far as German is concerned, I told you that I spent several summers here as a guest of the Wassermanns. Their daughter Yla is the same age as me. My father insisted that Antonietta and I learnt German and some English, which is the language I speak the worst, as you know very well.”

  “Not at all, you speak English very well, but you just need a bit more vocabulary. I know what we should do, instead of speaking French between us we should speak English, and practice that way.”

  And that’s what they did. It was clear to Albert James that Germany was preparing for war, and that Hitler’s threat against Poland was not just another one of his boasts.

  Berlin was happy and excited, but with a hysterical excitement, something that could be seen at first glance.

  In the face of Amelia’s protests, Albert insisted on calling Max von Schumann. As a journalist, he was interested in finding out the baron’s opinions as a soldier. Albert seemed not to suspect that there had been a connection between Amelia and Max in the past that circumstances had not permitted to flourish.

  Max von Schumann invited the couple to dine at his house in the center of the city.

  It was a two-story house with a burgeoning garden around it. A butler opened the door and led them to a library, where Max and Ludovica were waiting for them.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, although I don’t think the circumstances suggest that this is the best time to visit Germany...”

  “Come on, darling, let’s not upset our guests!” Ludovica interrupted.

  “The truth is that Berlin has surprised me a great deal,” Albert admitted.

  “It is impossible not to love the city,” Ludovica said.

  “Do you think Hitler will carry out his threat of invading Poland?” Albert asked.

  Max cleared his throat uneasily and avoided the question, but Albert did not miss the glance that the baron shared with his wife.

  And this passing glance was all the proof needed to know that Hitler’s threat to invade Poland was about to become a reality.

  Albert admitted having read some of Hitler’s speeches and said that it was a mystery to him why the Germans allowed themselves to be carried away by the Führer.

  “It’s as if he were treating the German people like children.”

  “Oh, you have no idea what Germany was like before the Führer came to power! Germany was a nonentity, not to mention the lack of money, or work, or future... Hitler has given Germany back its dignity, we are respected in Europe and, as you can see, we are now a prosperous country. There is no unemployment in Germany. Go out, ask people in the street, Hitler is a blessing for the working classes, as he is for us, who were about to be ruined,” Ludovica said.

  “Who do you mean when you say ‘us’?” Albert asked.

  “I mean the families who have contributed for centuries to our country’s prosperity. German industry was almost ruined, and I know what I’m talking about, as my family had factories in the Ruhr.”

  Max seemed to be uncomfortable with Ludovica’s explanations. Amelia thought she saw an element of forced gaiety settling into his features while Ludovica talked and exalted the figure of Hitler, and she imagined that there must be deep-seated disagreements between the couple.

  “There are lots of Germans who do not have the same ideas as Ludovica,” Max said, finding it impossible to contain himself.

  “But darling, those are the Communists, the Socialists, and all of that rabble who are incapable of admitting that it is thanks to Hitler that Germany is a great nation once again. But the good Germans have much to thank Hitler for.”

  “I am a good German, and I have nothing to thank him for,” Max replied.

  “We should thank him for putting the Jews back in their place. The Jews were parasites on the body of Germany.”

  “Ludovica, that’s enough! You know I will not let you talk this way in my presence. Some of my best friends are German Jews.”

  “I’m sorry, darling, but even if you are my husband I cannot share these ideas you have of the Jews. They are not like us, they belong to an inferior race.”

  “Ludovica!”

  “Come on, Max, let’s try making some sense here. Aren’t you in favor of freedom? Well, allow me to express myself freely. I hope I am not shocking our guests... I’m not, am I, Amelia?”

  Amelia could scarcely repress a smile. She did not understand how Max could have married this woman. He had nothing in common with the baroness, apart from the fact that they both belonged to old families and had known each other since they were chil
dren. She felt sorry for him.

  Four days later, September 1, 1939, Germany invaded Poland. Albert called Max to try to arrange another meeting, without Ludovica, alone.

  “It’s impossible for me to meet you today, you understand,” Max apologized.

  “I do understand, but what about in the next few days?”

  “Of course, of course; I am going to stay in Berlin out of principle, and I will find a moment when I can see you.”

  Two days later, September 3, 1939, Great Britain, France, Australia, and New Zealand declared war on Germany. That was how the Second World War began. On September 5 the United States declared its neutrality, which helped Albert to stay in Berlin without any trouble, just as Amelia could because she was Spanish.

  Max von Schumann did something more than meet with Albert James again, he also introduced him to certain of his friends who, like him, were opposed to Hitler.

  The group was made up of professors, lawyers, a few small businessmen, and even another aristocrat, Max’s cousin, as well as two Protestant pastors. Members of the enlightened bourgeoisie who hated what Hitler was doing to Germany.

  Albert felt an immediate connection to Karl Schatzhauser, an old professor of medicine who had been one of Max’s teachers when the baron was carrying out his studies.

  Karl Schatzhauser lived in a building on the Leipzigerstrasse, dangerously close to the general headquarters of the Gestapo, something that did not seem to intimidate him when he invited his friends in the secret anti-Hitler group round to his house.

  “Why don’t you work together with the Socialists and the Communists?” Albert asked Professor Schatzhauser.

  “We should, but there is so much that keeps us apart... I think that they wouldn’t trust us and that some of us wouldn’t trust them. No, now is not the time to work together. The Communists don’t know what to do after the pact that Ribbentrop signed with the Russians. This is a tragedy for them: Hitler locks up and persecutes the Communists here in Germany, and then Stalin goes and signs a treaty with him. The German Communists want to turn our country into another Soviet Union, and what we want is to get back to some kind of normality.”

  “But that saps your strength when it comes to take on Hitler himself,” Albert insisted.

  “We want a Christian Germany, a democratic country where everyone is subject to the law rather than the crazy whims of whichever madman has installed himself as chancellor. And don’t think for a second that the moderates are not also to blame for their part in Hitler’s rise to power. People like him cannot be bargained with, it’s a mistake that we have made here in Germany, and also that the other European powers have made. In order to be effective we need to be able to pass unnoticed, and that is why I tell my friends that we need to be like chameleons. For example, Max wanted to leave the army, but I convinced him not to because he is of more use to us inside, so we can know what the military leaders think, which ones might be sympathetic to our cause, what Hitler’s plans are... We must all stay in our posts, we don’t have to show any enthusiasm for the Führer at all, but we don’t want to end up in the Gestapo’s dungeons either. We wouldn’t be any use to our country there.”

  Albert was impressed by the strength and clarity of Professor Schatzhauser’s ideas, but Amelia thought that Max, the Professor and his friends were too weak to be effective against a monster like Hitler.

  The Berliners seemed to live apart from the sufferings of the war, and Berlin, the Stadt der Musik und des Theaters, carried on as it had before.

  “Albert, it says here that Carla Alessandrini will be premiering Tristan und Isolde in the Deutsches Opernhaus in a fortnight’s time!”

  “Your friend Carla is coming to Berlin? You told me that she was a committed anti-Fascist.”

  “And she is! But Carla, as well as being the greatest opera singer in the world, is an Italian, so it’s not surprising that they should contract her in Berlin. And aren’t we here, you and I? The Nazis think that because you’re from the United States and your country has declared itself neutral that you are no danger, and I am Spanish, which means they must think that I’m a Francoist.”

  Albert said nothing, he knew how much Amelia loved Carla Alessandrini and that any critical commentary on his part would have led to an argument.

  “But she’s here!” Amelia exclaimed.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It says in the newspaper that Carla is staying in the Adlon. I’ll ask for the switchboard to put me through to her.”

  A few minutes later Amelia heard the cheerful voice of Vittorio Leonardi, Carla’s husband.

  “Amelia, cara! Come vai?”

  Amelia explained that she was staying in the hotel and was keen to see them, and Vittorio didn’t need to be asked twice.

  “Carla is rehearsing, I’ll go to find her at the theatre, and when she comes back we can all go and eat together.”

  When they met in the hotel lobby, Carla hugged Amelia. Vittorio spoke with Albert as if he had known him all his life, even though they had barely known each other in Paris. But Vittorio was a man of the world, and understood straight away that Amelia’s companion was more than just a good friend.

  The four of them ate in the hotel restaurant, and Carla was extremely interested in the latest twists and turns of Amelia’s life.

  “Cara! It is as if tragedy followed you round the world! I don’t understand how this can be, with you as beautiful as you are, but of course, life is like that, now the important thing is that you are well and that Albert is looking after you; and he should, because if he didn’t then he would have me to reckon with,” she said, pointing a menacing finger at Albert James.

  The diva explained that even though she hated the Nazis, Vittorio had insisted that, with the Fascists in charge of Italy, it would be a step too far to reject an invitation to sing in Berlin. She was upset about her many Jewish friends, musicians, conductors, theater people, who had fled into exile.

  “Don’t let appearances fool you, this city is not what it once was, the best have been forced to flee. Don’t imagine that I feel comfortable here...”

  “But Carla, amore! You can’t show your political beliefs so openly. In Milan she snubbed Il Duce when he wanted to see her after she had appeared in La Traviata. Carla locked herself away in her dressing-room after the performance and told me to tell him that she had a migraine and could not speak. Of course, Il Duce did not believe her, and we found out via some friends that he has set a watch on us. If we had refused to travel to Berlin, what do you think that Il Duce would have thought? There was nothing we could have said to get us out of this engagement.”

  “I hate all Fascists, and the Nazis most of all!” Carla said, without caring that the guests at the neighboring tables were looking at her in stunned silence.

  “Please, darling, don’t shout!” Vittorio begged.

  “I feel the same as you,” Amelia said, taking hold of her friend’s hand.

  “We all feel the same, but Vittorio’s right, we have to be cautious,” Albert said.

  “This is the problem, that prudence ends up turning into collaboration,” Amelia said.

  “No, that’s not right. I think it is best for us to be able to come to Berlin and move around and talk to people and then tell the world just how dangerous Hitler is. If I get up now and start to take on the Nazis, then the only thing that will happen to me is that I’ll get arrested, and then I won’t be able to tell the papers just what is happening here,” Albert said.

  “And people say that men are impractical and uncalculating,” Carla added.

  Vittorio told them that in two days’ time the leaders of the Deutsche Opernhaus were going to have a reception followed by a dinner in Carla’s honor, and that he would ask for them to be invited.

  “They had better invite you, or else I won’t go to the reception myself,” Carla said.

  The German-Soviet pact reached further than people had imagined. Its secret agreements began to come to ligh
t as events moved on, and on September 17 Soviet troops entered Poland.

  The next day, Albert and Amelia went to a meeting at Karl Schatzhauser’s house. The doctor called for calm from the group.

  “They have divided Poland between themselves,” Max complained, “and the British Government has done nothing to save it.”

  “England does not seem to have a clear idea of the path it should follow,” Albert said.

  “The Poles are their allies, but they have let them fall into the hands of Hitler and Stalin!” Amelia replied.

  A Protestant pastor was at the meeting and he attempted to halt the despair into which the group was in danger of falling by talking to them about faith.

  “There are still things we can do, we are not going to give in. There are lots of people who are opposed to Hitler,” the priest, whose name was Ludwig Schmidt, said.

  The pastor said he knew of someone close to Admiral Canaris, the head of German counterespionage; according to his friend, the admiral did not share the ideals of the Nazi Party; what’s more, he appeared to show his willingness to help anyone who wanted to oppose Hitler, provided his own involvement remained invisible.

  Max von Schumann confirmed this information, and added that Colonel Hans Oster, the head of the Office of Counterespionage in the High Command of the Armed Forces, as well as other military leaders, was opposed to Hitler.

  “They should join forces!” Albert insisted.

  “We mustn’t make any false moves, it’s best that each group acts as it sees best, and then the time will come where we know who is who, and who is with whom,” Karl Schatzhauser said.

  “You are the leader of our group, and so you control our strategy, but I think that Albert James is right,” Max said bluntly.

  The pastor Ludwig Schmidt gave Albert James a brief analysis of the foundations of Nazism.

  “There are three books that you need to read to find out what it is that holds this madness together: Mein Kampf by Hitler himself, The Myth of the Twentieth Century by Alfred Rosenberg, and Gottfried Feder’s Manifesto for Breaking the Chains of Gold. But don’t you imagine that Feder has managed to explain how to clean up the German economy. Rosenberg’s book is stupid, all he wants to do is show how the Nordic races are superior. He attacks the fundamental bases of Christianity as well, because you must never forget that the Nazis hate and abominate God as well. But read, read Mein Kampf, and you will see pretty clearly what it is that Hitler proposes.”