Tell Me Who I Am

by Julia Navarro

  “And what can you do?”

  “I don’t know, Amelia. In my case, I do what I can, but I am a priest, a Jesuit who only can represent himself. I think that the best we can do is to convince those who surround us of the inherent wrongness of Nazism.”

  “Father, in your opinion, how far do you think Hitler is willing to go?”

  “He will not stop until he is the master of Europe.”

  Max came up to them, apparently idly; he had barely spoken to Amelia because he knew that Ludovica had her eyes on them the whole time. Although his wife had said nothing to him about the Spanish woman, he knew that she felt jealous of her.

  “How long will you stay in Berlin?”

  “I don’t know, it depends what I can do here.”

  “Professor Schatzhauser told me that the British sent you... ,” he said in a low voice.

  “No, that’s not true, I’m here in Berlin for other reasons, but they asked me to take a message to your group. They want to know what you think now that war seems to have gripped the whole of Europe.”

  “There isn’t much that we can do. What do the British want?”

  “They want to know how far Hitler intends to go. If he wants to invade Great Britain,” Amelia said directly.

  Max cleared his throat. The question appeared to make him uncomfortable and he looked around before answering.

  “He might try, even though, as far as I know, he would prefer to strike a deal with the British, or at least that’s what our host has just told me. Manfred Kasten is a retired diplomat, but he still has extremely good relations with the Foreign Ministry and usually knows very well what Ribbentrop’s plans are.”

  “When can I see you?”

  “Maybe in a day or so. They are going to give me my orders tomorrow. They might send me to Poland, or anywhere, even though I would prefer to stay in Berlin, at least for the time being. But that doesn’t depend on me. I will get in touch with you via Professor Schatzhauser, and we can meet in his house. Where are you staying, by the way?”

  “In Herr Helmut Keller’s house.”

  Amelia told him Helmut’s telephone number and address and Max memorized them. He knew that Ludovica had the habit of rummaging around in his jacket pockets.

  On June 22 France signed an armistice with Germany, and two days later one with Italy. Hitler visited Paris on June 23 and was enchanted by the Opéra and Les Invalides, where Napoleon’s remains are buried.

  Amelia visited Professor Schatzhauser’s house regularly, and he called regular meetings of the opposition group, which Amelia attended and paid very close attention to what was said. Lots of the attendees were important people, in important strategic positions within the administration, so they had access to information that, although not precisely relevant to the movements of the war, enabled Amelia to explain how the preparations for the next phase were taking place. In one of these meetings Amelia again met Manfred Kasten, the former diplomat who hated Hitler with all his might.

  There were not many people there that night. Aside from Professor Schatzhauser there were two of his colleagues from the university, a Swiss diplomat, Father Müller, Pastor Ludwig Schmidt, an official from the Foreign Ministry and one from the Agriculture Ministry, as well as Max von Schumann and his adjutant, Captain Henke.

  Manfred Kasten said that one of his friends, who had close links to the Nazi Party, had told him that they were working on a plan to have all the Jews removed to some territory outside of Europe.

  “But why?” Professor Schatzhauser asked.

  “My dear friend, Hitler and his followers say that the Jews are the worst enemies of the Reich and of the whole Aryan race. The Head Office for Reich Security, the one set up by Himmler and Heydrich, is keen on deporting many thousands of Jews out of Germany as a part of their plan to get rid of all of them, not just the German Jews, but the Polish ones as well, along with all the Jews in countries occupied by the Wehrmacht.”

  “Where are they planning on sending them?” Max asked, alarmed.

  “They are thinking about sending them to some African country.”

  “But they’re mad!” Father Müller said.

  “They’re worse than that; mad people aren’t so dangerous,” Pastor Ludwig Schmidt said.

  “But can they do it?” Amelia asked.

  “They are investigating how to do it. I will be going to a dinner at the Japanese ambassador’s house in a few days’ time, and one of my friends will be there and may be able to give me more details.”

  “I think we have one more thing to talk about, don’t we, Max?” Professor Schatzhauser said.

  “Yes, I need to tell you that I have been appointed to supervise the sanitary conditions of our army. So I am going to start traveling all over the field of battle, but wherever I may be I will be here for you, you know that you will be able to count on me whenever you need to,” von Schumann announced.

  “Will you be away for long?” Manfred Kasten wanted to know.

  “For discrete periods of indeterminate length. I need to inspect the troops, check their medical provisions and write reports on whatever is lacking. I have the impression that my superiors want to keep me busy.”

  “Do you think they suspect anything?” Professor Schatzhauser asked in alarm.

  “I hope not. I think they don’t really approve of my lack of enthusiasm for what is going on. They tolerate me because of who I am and because I am a member of an old family of soldiers, and because they know that I would never betray the army nor Germany.”

  “Try to hide what you feel, you won’t get anywhere telling people your true feelings, you might even put us all in danger,” Pastor Schmidt said.

  “Don’t worry, I will. I know that I am walking on thin ice, even though there are moments when I find it difficult to hide the contempt I feel for some of the High Command, excellent soldiers who are like little frightened boys in front of the Führer.”

  “Don’t be so hard on them. Who wouldn’t think first of all about survival in days like these, when the power of the Gestapo has no limits and anyone can become a suspect?” Kasten said.

  A few days later, Amelia had an invitation to tea from Professor Schatzhauser. When she arrived at his house, she found Manfred Kasten there already.

  “I was just telling the professor that I went to the dinner at the Japanese ambassador’s house that I was telling you about and I spoke to my friend who is working on the plan to export all the Jews out of Europe. Heinrich Himmler himself is supervising it.”

  “Where will they be taken?” Amelia asked.

  “To Madagascar. This is what my friend tells me. They want to take all the European Jews there.”

  “Do they have a date for this exercise?”

  “Not yet, they are just studying the logistics. It is not easy to move hundreds of thousands of people from Europe to the south of Africa.”

  “And what will the Jews do in Madagascar?” Professor Schatzhauser asked.

  “Live in labor camps. They want to turn the island into a huge prison. My friend thinks that the plan is insane, but says that Hitler himself has given it his blessing and has told them to sort out all the logistical problems.”

  “But they would need hundreds of ships to carry so many Jews!” Amelia said, in a state of shock. “It won’t be easy for them, Germany doesn’t have a good navy.”

  “That is true, and what they are trying to do is to plan this forced emigration at minimum cost and risk. Will you tell London about this?”

  Amelia was silent for a moment. Her orders from Major Murray had been clear. She was not to tell anyone about her mission to Berlin. She had told Professor Schatzhauser and Max several times that she had nothing to do with the British government, but she realized that the professor thought she was not telling the truth.

  “I am sorry to disappoint you, Herr Kasten, but I don’t work for the British government,” she said with conviction.

  “But Max has told us that your friend Albe
rt James has contacts in the Admiralty,” Professor Schatzhauser said.

  “Yes, but that’s a family contact, and I... well, I’ll try to make sure that Albert finds out about what you’ve told me, and then he’ll know what to do...”

  Amelia used the night-time to write coded letters to her nonexistent Spanish friend. After dining with the Kellers she would listen to the radio with them, and hear all its propaganda, and then she would go to her room. She had been in Berlin for two months now, and although the Kellers were more than happy to have her as a guest, she thought that they were a little confused by her continued presence, so that one afternoon while she was alone with Greta she confessed to her that she had come back to Berlin to escape from her lover, Albert James. It was not difficult for her to explain that Albert’s parents did not approve of the relationship, and that she was willing to sacrifice herself for him to be happy.

  “He has no future with me, you know that I’m a married woman.”

  Greta Keller comforted her and told her that she was sure Albert would come looking for her.

  In order to make her stay in Berlin more credible, Amelia had enrolled in a language school and went there every day to perfect her German. She spent the rest of her time at Professor Schatzhauser’s house, as well as visiting Father Müller, with whom she had built up a close friendship.

  Father Müller was not much older than her, and the fact that Amelia had helped with Rahel built up a special link between the two of them. Sometimes they discussed the Church’s position with respect to Nazism. Amelia criticized the Pope for not setting himself directly against Hitler, but the priest tried to convince her that if Pius XII had decided to oppose himself directly to the Führer, then he would have put all the German Catholics in danger, as well as all those in the countries under German occupation.

  “And you are trying to pretend to be above all of this, when you are really here for other reasons,” he said, trying to provoke her.

  “What other reasons? All I want to do is improve my German, now that it looks like Germany is going to control everything, and there is no other option than to have a good knowledge of the language,” she joked.

  Amelia would regularly go to church in the evenings when Father Müller was saying Mass. The priest was helping an old Jesuit who was sick but who refused to abandon his parishioners in such a moment of tribulation. The old priest was not as brave as Father Müller and seemed to know nothing about the younger priest’s conspiratorial meetings, even though he approved of his attitude. He did not object either to the friendship that was growing up between Father Müller and Pastor Ludwig Schmidt; he blamed the pastor for the ever more intense political attitude of the young Catholic priest, even though he knew full well that it was the situation of the Jewish family to which he felt so close that had in fact confirmed Father Müller’s opposition to Hitler. Rahel had been like a sister for him and for Hanna. Irene, Father Müller’s mother, and Hanna had not hesitated in welcoming Rahel to hide in their house. One day Father Müller told Hanna that Rahel was safe; she had not asked how, nor had he offered any explanations. Now she saw that Father Müller spent ever more time with the young Spanish woman and she asked herself what the two of them were plotting, but she didn’t ask them and preferred not to know. The old priest said that it was probably best not to know too much about his assistant’s doings.

  Amelia usually went to Father Müller’s house to listen to the BBC. She was always made welcome by Irena and Hanna. The two women were fond of the Spaniard and were grateful to her for having saved Rahel.

  On July 10, in Father Müller’s house, Amelia first heard that Pétain’s collaborationist government had decided to break off ties with England. The Vichy government had decreed full powers to the Marshal of France. This happened only a couple of days after the bombardment of Dover.

  Amelia saw Admiral Canaris and Colonel Oster at another couple of receptions that she attended along with Professor Schatzhauser, the last of which was in mid-August at Max’s house, a farewell dinner that Ludovica had organized for her husband before his departure for Poland.

  Ludovica had invited Goering and Himmler, and all the important people who were still in Berlin, and she had accepted, through gritted teeth, all the guests her husband had proposed as well.

  That night, Manfred Kasten came up to Amelia, all smiles.

  “I have found out some more details about the Madagascar Plan, all that is needed is the Führer’s final approval. Maybe you could come round to my house tomorrow to have tea with me and my wife.”

  Amelia accepted straight away. This was information that they could use in London, not so much because they cared about the fate of the Jews, but because a plan on such a scale would require the use of a great deal of resources, as well as control of the maritime routes of the Atlantic, which had been controlled by the British up until that moment. Winston Churchill was trying at that very moment to convince the Americans that if Great Britain were toppled, then control of the sea would pass into the hands of Germany. So information of this kind could help London establish just how far German sea power could extend.

  Although they felt uncomfortable under Ludovica’s inquisitive gaze, Max came to take his leave of Amelia.

  “I would have liked to have seen you alone, but it has been impossible, because of my obligations, both to the army and to my family.”

  “I know, don’t worry. I suppose I’ll still be here when you get back. Do you know where you are being sent exactly?”

  “I’m going to Warsaw first, but I need to visit all our troops wherever they are in the country, so I’ll be going all over the place.”

  “And is Captain Henke going with you?”

  “Yes, he’ll be a help. Hans is a logistics officer, and he’ll be responsible for relaying my orders for what we need at the front.”

  “At least you’ll be with a friend.”

  “You can’t imagine how hard it is to be able to trust someone. There are some other officers in the army who think as we do, but they don’t dare take the next step. You know what the Nazis are capable of doing to those who oppose their plans; they’re worried that they could end up like Walter von Frisch, the head of the army, whom Goering accused, via the Gestapo, of homosexuality. Or Marshal Blomberg, who was forced to step down as minister of war after pressure was put on him over his wife’s past. And Ludwig Beck’s opinions are no secret; he was chief of staff until a couple of years ago, and then he had to resign because of disagreements with the Führer. There are generals like Witzleben and Stülpnagel who have supported Beck in the past. There are confrontations brewing between some of the upper echelons of the army and the heads of the SS, whose influence is increasing. There were disagreements also between General Blaskowitz and the SS during the Poland campaign. Von Tresckow and von Schlabrendorff are worried by how German politics is developing.”

  “Why are you telling me all this?”

  “Because I think I can trust you, and I care what you think; I don’t want you to think that we’re all Nazis here in Germany, there are people who are repulsed by everything that Nazism signifies, and who above all do not want another European war.”

  “Is it so difficult to get rid of Hitler?”

  “It’s not something that can be worked out on the hoof. Maybe after the war is over...”

  “But that may be too late...”

  “It will never be too late to make Germany a democracy again, to give it back its democratic institutions. We are opposed to Hitler, but we will never betray our country. Are you still in contact with Lord Paul James?”

  “You know I’ve only seen him a few times with Albert, his nephew.”

  “I’m worried that people in London might see Germany as a unified bloc around Hitler, but it’s not like that. There are many of us who are ready to give our lives to end this nightmare.”

  Ludovica came up to them, followed by a waiter bearing a tray of champagne.

  “Darling, would you
like to raise a toast with us to your safe return to Berlin?” Ludovica’s voice was filled with irony and her eyes were filled with rage.

  “An excellent idea,” Max said. “Let us drink to being as happy again as we are today.”

  Max handed a glass to Amelia and they raised a toast along with Ludovica. Then Max decided to follow his wife’s instructions and attend to his guests.

  Amelia couldn’t sleep that night. She should go back to London and try to speak to Lord Paul James personally, but would he want to see her? She knew that the person she should report to was her superior, Major Murray, but Max had asked expressly that she should speak with Lord James. There was only one way to get in touch with him, and that was via Albert. Yes, she would have to ask him to organize some kind of social occasion with his uncle before she had to go to the Admiralty and pass her findings on to Major Murray. It wouldn’t be easy to convince Albert, but she hoped she could manage. Of course, she would first have to get Murray’s permission to return to London, and she would have to convince him that the news she had was important enough for her to leave Berlin.

  She got up early and found Herr Helmut preparing breakfast for Greta.

  “I have to leave. Would you be so kind as to finish making this and to take it to my wife in her bed? I know that it is a lot to ask, but would you be able to help her get up and settled in the armchair by the window? I think she is a little better.”

  “Don’t worry, Herr Helmut, I will look after Greta.”

  “Don’t you have to go to class?”

  “Yes, but I’ve got lots of time.”

  That afternoon Amelia went to Manfred Kasten’s house. His wife, Helga, opened the door and led her to her husband’s office. The former diplomat was waiting for her impatiently; he asked her to sit down and gave her a file of information about the Madagascar Plan. Amelia read it eagerly without saying a word, but her face displayed just how taken aback she was by the grandiose scale of the operation.