and arms followed by the upper body and head topped off by a set of horns. “Oh my god,” thought Mookie, “it's the devil.”
He stood there shaking and he could feel something wet and warm running down his leg. The devil smiled and took a slight bow. “Lucifer's the name,” he said, “and I've come to collect the payment that's due.”
Mookie couldn't help but notice how he sounded like Big Mark. “What payment?” he asked.
“The payment in the 'terms of usage' agreement you accepted.”
“But this was supposed to be a free twenty four hour trial,” he said.
“Shame on you. You didn't read the 'terms of usage' agreement. You just skipped to the bottom and clicked 'accept' didn't you,” said Lucifer. Mookie silently nodded his head. “I thought so. I get more people that way. If you would have bothered to read the agreement you would have seen that the customer is obligated to cancel the trial offer before the twenty four hour period is up or it is assumed that the customer has agreed to purchase the service and pay the required fee.”
“Wh..what's the required fee?” stammered Mookie.
“Nothing much,” replied Lucifer smiling, “I just need to take your soul.” And with that, he proceeded to cross the room toward Mookie.
Mookie shrank back in terror. “ No! Wait!” he shouted but Lucifer kept advancing toward him and soon he was against the wall with nowhere left to retreat. He cowered and shook as Lucifer continued to advance in his direction and then suddenly he shouted out, “I lied!”
Lucifer leered at him as he continued to approach. “So what? I like it when people lie.”
“No,” said Mookie, “I lied when I said I was twenty one years old. I'm only fifteen.”
Lucifer stopped dead in his tracks. “You what!” he screeched, “Son of a bitch! Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you lie you'll go to hell?” Mookie silently nodded his head again.
But, Lucifer seemed to be uncertain how to progress in light of the new information. He paced up and down the room, his hand on his chin as if thinking. He stopped, pointed at Mookie and then shook his head and went back to pacing, grumbling to himself. Puffs of smoke came up from his feet leaving burn marks in the carpet where ever he stepped and as he continued, Mookie caught pieces of what he was grumbling, “Not twenty one...not legally responsible...not of majority age...” Lucifer finally stopped pacing. He realized that there were times when even the devil has to abide by the rules, especially if he was the one who had put those rules in place.
He turned and pointed at Mookie. Flames danced on the end of his boney finger as he scowled and said, “Consider yourself extremely lucky. Because of the circumstances, I'm going to let you out of the agreement. It really doesn't matter anyway. Considering the way you lie and those websites you visit from time to time, I figure you'll be mine eventually.”
Mookie looked up in surprise. “Yeah, I know about them too,” said Lucifer. “Oh, and before I forget, you are banned from my website forever, even after you turn twenty one.” Lucifer waved his hand in the air and suddenly there was a bright flash and he disappeared but Mookie thought he heard him say, “I've got to start dealing with a better class of people.”
The next thing he heard was someone pounding on his door. “Jerome, are you okay?” It was his father, “What are you yelling about?”
Mookie's eyes slowly opened and he found himself sitting at his desk with his chin on his chest as if he had been sleeping. He immediately popped his head up and scanned the room looking for signs of Lucifer. Again his father shouted through the closed door, “Jerome, are you okay?”
Finding no sign of the devil, he replied, “Yeah dad, I'm okay. I guess I was dreaming.”
His father headed back down the stairs mumbling, “That must have been one hell of a dream.”
Mookie still wasn't sure exactly what had happened. He looked around the room hoping to see something that would help him figure out if Lucifer had been real or just a dream. He remembered tearing the blanket off the bed when he thought his computer was on fire but the bed was still neatly made. Then he looked at the carpet where Lucifer had paced and it was burn free. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief; he wasn't going to hell after all. “But wait,” he thought, “Big Mark did have a broken arm at school today. Or, did I dream that too?”
He checked the lower corner of his computer monitor to see what day it was. He knew it was Tuesday when he had first stumbled across the hell.org website. The display in the corner now said Wednesday. “I couldn't have been sleeping for the last twenty four hours,” he thought, “Everything on Tuesday must have been for real. But, that means...Oh my god,” Mookie felt as if someone had just grabbed him by his throat, “I have to cancel the service before the twenty four hour trial period is up!”
His hands shook uncontrollably causing him to incorrectly type the address of the website the first two times. He forced himself to slow down and the third time he finally got it right. He waited while the computer displayed, “waiting for response from hell.org server.” After waiting for what felt like a week, the display changed to “User does not have the necessary credentials to access this website. Access denied.”
He remembered Lucifer's words, “You are banned from my website forever.” Now he was really confused. Had Lucifer somehow been real? If so, was he already out of trouble or was this just some cruel joke Lucifer was playing on him by not letting him cancel before the free trial period was up? Oh, how he wished he had never responded to the pop up ads. He tried to log on again but got the same response. Mookie sat there with his head throbbing and his palms sweating. He didn't know what to do. In desperation, he tried again with the same result and after a few more tries, he finally gave up and resigned himself to whatever fate lay in store for him. He got up and began to walk away but just then, the computer made a strange sound. Turning around, he noticed there was a pop up on the screen. Quickly, he sat back down and began to read.
The pop up said, “Warning you have only ten minutes left of your free twenty four hour trial period. If you wish to cancel, click on the 'cancel' icon below. If you wish to continue the service beyond the trial period you need to do nothing. If you do nothing, the service will continue and you will be charged the service fee.”
Mookie carefully moved the mouse pointer over the “cancel” icon and clicked. A moment later, the display read, “Your request to cancel your free twenty four hour trial period has been accepted.” After a quick, “Thank you, god,” he printed the page for proof that he had canceled the trial period in time. He felt a great sense of relief as he took the printout off the printer and as he was putting it in the desk drawer, he noticed something on the bottom that wasn't on the display screen. In what appeared to be hand printed letters, it said, “I hope you've learned a lesson,” and it was signed with a capital L.
Mookie's head was spinning again. “Wait a minute,” he thought, “If I just canceled the service now, it means that I actually did ask them to break Big Mark's leg during the free trial period.” A smile slowly spread across his face as he thought, “I can't wait to go to school tomorrow.”
####
About the author:
Philip Fraterrigo resides in the Buffalo/Western New York area and holds a B.A. in History from the University of Buffalo. He worked for thirty years as a technical service representative for the IBM Corporation and began writing shortly before his retirement in 2009.
THE TEST by Philip Fraterrigo
Hell.org Page 2
